Need help motivating my Dad...
- 03-24-2009, 05:59 PM
Need help motivating my Dad...
I'm not sure this is the best place for this thread but it does have to do with nutrition and health.
My Dad used to be a gym rat when I was young. This is actually where I got my start and my desire. I used to sneak into the garage and play with his weights (I'm lucky i never got hurt) or sneak into his room and look at his body building magazines.
He was a heavy smoker though, and my mom always begged him to quit. When he finally did he switched to alcohol and food to fill his addictions instead. It wasn't long before he was about 400 pounds at 5'6. It was long after that before he was diagnosed with diabetes. He started eating "healthy" which mainly was he went on all fruit diet. (which i thing is bad for diabetics?) and dropped down to about 250. After that he started eating pretty cruddy again and got back up to 300. Soon after he had a quadruple bi-pass. He had complications from his surgery and spent 6 months in the hospital with staph in his chest. When he finally got out he was a 180 pounds. He went right back to his old eating habits of t.v. dinners and pounds of steak at a time. He soon got back up to 250, and the staph came back in his unhealed chest so he had another surgery to remove large amounts of rotten sternum. He got out and started eating out at mexican restaurants and getting drunk on margaritas. This has been over a 4 year period. I've given him countless diets, I paid for a nutritionist for him, I paid for a personal trainer for him, I made dinners for him that went untouched...he just went in for his 3rd surgery and had almost all of the rest of his sternum removed. He says he feels better than he has in two years, but all he's eating right now are croissants, strawberries, and ice cream. He also just got diagnosed with gout...I don't really know what it is though.
I've tried everything to motivate him. I've tried yelling, I've tried pleading, I've tried threatening, and I've tried just ignoring him.
I don't know what to do. Do ya'll have any advice?
- 03-25-2009, 01:13 AM
People often turn to 'addictions' to compensate for some underlying personal issues. Until you can get them to admit to what it is, face it, and conquer it, they will continue to be self destructive.
Given the history you describe, I am thinking that your father needs professional help. Your goal, IMO, should be to try to get him some therapy. This can be particularly tough for guys because we are not supposed to need that 'crap.' Ironically, guys probably need it more since we don't usually talk about any of that stuff to anyone.
Maybe get in touch with a local outfit and ask them how they suggest going about it?
- 03-25-2009, 11:07 AM
03-25-2009, 11:25 AM
Hey natty im sorry for the struggle your going through. Usually diabetic people need to be carefull with fruits bc of their carbs and sugar. I agree with Nitrox with the theraphy to try to get him back on his feet. As you mentioned about how he was a gymrat back then and your father was into bodybuilding I would suggest certain activities like maybe walking around the park or something. Talk to him how great it would be to set a goal and start felling good and looking better than ever. But thats just something I can offer. I would also suggest seeing a doctor maybe do bloodwork to make sure everything is running properly. Good luck.-Broodstar
03-25-2009, 11:28 AM
Encouraging him and loving him as your father is the most you can do. He won't go to the gym or get into shape or eat healthy unless he wants to. While he really could use professional help he won't go and get professional help unless he feels he has a problem. Keep encouraging him to work out, eat healthy and go to a professional for his mental and physical health. Like Bloodstar said, maybe suggesting that you go for walks together would spark his interest. Doing things as a team might be fun for him.
03-25-2009, 11:28 AM
both me and him have to get our blood work done often. Apparently he was on a rather hard core cycle of gear when he got my mom prego and my hormone levels fluctuate often-example- i was shaving when i was 10 and could grow a full beard at 12...
03-25-2009, 02:13 PM
Anything that you know inspires him or just captures his heart. Maybe there were old times favorites that you all did as a family. Going out to movies,having picnics,or perhaps planning vacations are wondeerfull team ideas as babywifey said its better to get things done in a team so each one of you has more encouargement for him and he will see that.
03-25-2009, 04:33 PM
we're both loners.
it's hard to break that "loner" mentality cuz we both just prefer being alone. He was never around when i was growing up, but he made all my football games and i thought he might want to get involved with me on my quest back but he's just not interested.
03-25-2009, 05:58 PM
Ah okay I see your background now. I understand some does want to be alone and thats fine. Honestly I can't workout with others I prefer by myself to get the work done. I have been alone for maybe 2 weeks in the absence of my gf that put me in a very bad depression state and just went back to the gym and everyone here gave me good advice and stuck with me. And as a friend I will say that there is no quick fix but there are solutions. I bet there is something he enjoys, and loner or not there is ALWAYS something to enjoy. Sometimes its getting to teh root of the problam. But take time to see what he enjoys and perhaps have a get togther you know. Keep your head up.^_^