i think you're in a funny place then. I've managed to cut about 5% BF over a 3 month period going about 60-35-5. but that's running anywhere from 2100 to 2300 cals a day. my strength has gone up or stayed the same throughout. I couldn't imagine having to eat 4500 cals a day everyday. I ran a clean bulk last year and went from 205 to 230 in 3 months and i only ran between 3200 and 3600 cals a day and those 3600 cal days got old after a while. you're prob pretty young though. i'm getting up there so my metabolism is alot different than yours. For me the only thing that hasworked in cutting fat is low/no carb, high fat, protein. I eat 6 times a day and don't have any carbs (except for the sugars from cottege cheese) until my 18th meal. then i carb up on oatmeal and sweet potatos. sounds like you could eat almost anything and not gain fat so start slamming clean protein and fats from almonds (18 to 24) with every meal, or PB (3-4 tsp) with everymeal.the key is get good fats in every meal. i have bags of almonds stashed all over the place, like a squirrel. hell, i even throw them in my pockets when the wife drags me out shopping. it takes some time to figure out what works for you, but at your age your margin of error is huge.
as far gaining mass, try a 5-5-5 program for a month after you get a diet your comfortable with.then reevaluate.