anabolicrhino
Well-known member
- Awards
- 1
The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and
in
> Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade in Ohio .
They
> were collected over a period of three years by two teachers.
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all
> wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of
the
> Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where which is bread made
> without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten
> commandos. He died before he ever reachedCanada but his commandos made
it.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was
an
> actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds like
he
> was sort of busy too.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
wouldn't
> have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female
moth.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people
> advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock
which
> is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a
dramatic
> decline.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits,
and
> threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.
> ------------------------------------------------------------------
> Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The
Ides
> of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made
king.
> Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus."
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for
> reasons I don't really understand. The English and French still have
> problems.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success.
When
> she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah!" and
that
> was the end of the fighting for a long while.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented
> removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the
> circulation of blood.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented
cigarettes
> and started smoking.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which
was
> very dangerous to all his men.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was
> born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much
> money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,
> comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He Wrote
> Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote
Paradise
> Lost. Since then no one ever found it.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress.
> Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of
the
> Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by
rubbing
> two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself
> cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in
> 1790 and is still dead.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother
died
> in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own
> hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation
> Proclamation.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got
Shot
> in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They
believe
> the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This
> ruined Booth's career.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large
number
> of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept
up
> in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most
famous
> composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half
> Italian, and half English. He was very large.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he
wrote
> loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks
in
> the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired
in
> 1827 and later died for this.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and
inventions.
> People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine.
The
> invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a
> hundred men.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don't know why.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It
was
> very long people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was
really
> true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without
> watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she
did.
> Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to
find
> radios because they were already taken.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the
> movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the
family
> had to have a job
>
>
in
> Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade in Ohio .
They
> were collected over a period of three years by two teachers.
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all
> wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of
the
> Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where which is bread made
> without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten
> commandos. He died before he ever reachedCanada but his commandos made
it.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was
an
> actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds like
he
> was sort of busy too.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
wouldn't
> have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female
moth.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people
> advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock
which
> is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a
dramatic
> decline.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits,
and
> threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.
> ------------------------------------------------------------------
> Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The
Ides
> of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made
king.
> Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus."
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for
> reasons I don't really understand. The English and French still have
> problems.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success.
When
> she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah!" and
that
> was the end of the fighting for a long while.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented
> removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the
> circulation of blood.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented
cigarettes
> and started smoking.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which
was
> very dangerous to all his men.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was
> born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much
> money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,
> comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He Wrote
> Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote
Paradise
> Lost. Since then no one ever found it.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress.
> Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of
the
> Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by
rubbing
> two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself
> cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in
> 1790 and is still dead.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother
died
> in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own
> hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation
> Proclamation.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got
Shot
> in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They
believe
> the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This
> ruined Booth's career.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large
number
> of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept
up
> in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most
famous
> composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half
> Italian, and half English. He was very large.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he
wrote
> loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks
in
> the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired
in
> 1827 and later died for this.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and
inventions.
> People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine.
The
> invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a
> hundred men.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don't know why.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It
was
> very long people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was
really
> true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without
> watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she
did.
> Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to
find
> radios because they were already taken.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the
> movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the
family
> had to have a job
>
>
