Motivation gone

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  1. Motivation gone


    Hey all,

    Im 23 years old, 210, and having some issues. From when I was 17 to about a year ago I was pretty serious about lifting. I had all the motivation in the world and while I had brief periods of inactivity, I was consistent. I would look in the mirror and hate what I saw, Id use rejection, humiliation, and betrayals in my past as motivation to better myself in the gym. I told myself that I was single because I didn't look good enough and viewed other people in the gym as adversaries.

    About a year ago, I met my wife. She has filled my emptiness and has made me genuinely happy. Ever since I have really slacked off, at 17 I weighed 130lbs, at 18 I was 180lbs, at 22 I was 235lbs, and right now I am 210lbs with much more body fat than ever before. I still go to the gym but my hate was my downfall. I don't hardly ever get angry anymore and I don't have any room for hate. And without that I have hardly any steam.

    Also I no longer use any hormonal supplements or even preworkouts. I wanted to post this in the all natural forums because I'd like to stay that way. So yeah I just want to see if anyone here has gone through anything similar to lend any advice. Thanks guys.


  2. You gotta discover what drives you. I use to bodybuild and my motivation would come and go, I always looked pretty good so I didnt progress much. Then I discovered powerlifting and it drives me so hard in the gym. Idk man you gotta find what makes you tick.

  3. I'm in the same ballpark as you bro, like exact same. I still enjoy working out though and bettering my body. I seem to do it more for myself now than for what everyone else thinks
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  4. Try articles, books videos something to get motivation back! I have so many youtube videos on my favorites list that inspire me! Videos or books don't have to be about getting in shape to get your heart pumping; for instance, the one video is about the dad that does iron man's for his son because he is a (vegetable) and his son can't speak, talk or move, but when his dad used to do them alone he would smile! The father then straps him on a raft when he swims, rides him on a wagon when he bikes and jogs with him on his back. the most incredible thing ever is that he places relatively high still! it just goes to show you when you think you have it bad or your not good enough (psychologically) that there is always someone else worse off. Stories like these get me driven! Maybe it would help...

  5. Ever thought about competing?? Nothing more motivating then getting ready for a comp and pushing your training and diet to dominate the competition.

  6. Times like these just think that your greatest adversary is your self your body wants to stay in it's comfort zone, like what the guy said in one of zhasni's video " there's a million reason not to do it but there's always one reason to keep on going"

  7. Just know that being unhealthy will make you uncomfortable at an older age, and as you get into your twenties you'll be so proud of yourself if you got on the grind now so that in your thirties your healthy and strong.

    Your hormone levels are only going to drop lower And lower, so take advantage now so you're not playing catch up later.

    I'm 28 and wish I had been serious about lifting and health years ago, instead of just being happily hugged up with my girl.

    Plus if you have kids, being healthy makes parenting so much more fulfilling.

  8. Women are the ultimate motivational killer.

    I've been going to the gym for over 30 years now and the only time I ever had a problem with motivation was when something came up in my life that physically prevented me from going to the gym - Hurricane Katrina is one of those things that comes to mind.

    Other than that - I was in the military and you get kicked out or have your promotion hindered if you're a fat boy - so being in good shape is a must ... you live and work in a culture of fitness ... and they actually give you time off to work out. By the way - any young ones reading this who don't know what to do with their lives - US Navy 2nd Class Diver is the bomb dudes. All the Navy girls want to **** you and you're in the gym for as long as you want each day. If you're not in gym or diving - you're playing volleyball ... those guys are dawgs.

    Anyway - I'm retired now but I keep motivation through several means ...

    First - I travel all over the world and, without getting into what I do, I can tell you that I work with huge brutes that come from various parts of Europe - mostly Scandinavia - Viking stock you know. As an American - I feel a strong urge to "buck" the "fat and lazy" American stereotype that most Europeans hold of us. So one of my goals is to be bigger and badder than any of those ****ers I work with. Damn it - there is no better bloodline on this planet than American - because it's a combination of ALL bloodlines. So I'm out to prove this.

    Second - I'm 50, and if you pick 500 guys who are 50 years old off the street at random and throw them into a room with me - I will be the one that's in the best shape.

    Third - Mrs. Honda. Most wives are happy when you get fat and they even subtly encourage it because they believe it will deter other women from making moves on you. Mrs. Honda isn't like that. She knows I love her and no other and no matter where I park my motor scooter - I will always bring it home to her. She doesn't care as long as it's not waved in her face and she doesn't know about it and I take precautions to avoid disease.

    Forth - Mrs. Honda. Okay, I confess, I'm 50 and she's like 53 and we don't **** as much as we used to when we were in our early 20's. Back then we did it like 10 times a week. Now - we're down to two ... sometimes three. On my 50th birthday she got a hotel room for two days and all we did was **** for two days and take occasional breaks for Starbucks and eating food. She was enthusiastic the entire time and treated me like a KING. This is probably another reason she doesn't care who else I fool around with - because she has the self-confidence to know that, although another girl might hold attractive variety for me - there is no way she can turn me on in the sack like Mrs. Honda.

    I'm pretty happy with my life right now and I want it to keep going for as long as possible, that's my motivation for working as hard as possible in the gym.

  9. I go through my ups and downs man like everybody but this sh*t ain't for everybody. I enjoy going to the gym but some days I feel like I'm putting in more work and money that I'm getting out. It makes me want to quit but you have to have patience. If the only reason you were working out was to find a woman then mission accomplished I guess. Unfortunately most marriages end in divorce these days so you got to make sure your ready to go if it happens that way lol.

  10. I've been there so many times; thinking "WTH am I wasting all this money, time and energy over? For what?"

    Quite simply, my main motivation is .......health.

    When I was young, I sought the "fun benefits" of looking aesthetically pleasing, picking up chicks, looking cool, and being as strong as a bull.

    These days, as science continues to come out with new studies almost daily supporting weight training AND cardio (for physical and mental health), I feel it's a must to ward off disease and aging. Sure, there still exxisits a vain side of me that still likes to look good/in shape.

    So, I look at it like shaving, going to the grocery store, putting gas in the car and any other relatively annoying mundane tasks you have no choice but to do. Some times I actually enjoy getting in a good shave or going to the grocery store - but it's infrequent. Regardless, I get 'em done.

    My point? I view ALL of these as simply requirements of life. Weight training and Cardio until I die are no different.

    I don't need to go to the gym and get all psycho and punish the weights or impress anyone these days. Some days, when I'm feeling it, I do just that; while others, I just get it done. I listen to my body. I am not competing and Im certainly not trying to be the next Mr Olympia.

    These days, it's 100% for ME and my health and happiness in knowing I am the best I can be and kicking the aging' process's butt and avoiding injuries.
    A-Minds HYPE-SLAYER! All posts & feedback are guaranteed to be unsolicited and legit
    "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. Fools despise wisdom & instruction"
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  11. for me i like killing it in the gym, like i'm an actor putting on a performance with how hard i hit it. people watch and i thrive on it.

    there is also nothing better than looking and feeling good, being the walking example in everyday life of what fit is.

    you're just being lazy right now dude, once you get into a groove.. you can get yourself back into it. Get over that hump, you know.. you're not 17 anymore so maybe that motivation you had won't feel the same. get the groove going with your will and the gym mojo will soon follow.

    another option is maybe see if your wife would like to start working out. maybe the two of you could motivate each other.

  12. I began lifting because of aesthetics, i hated being skinny! But it didn't take me long to come to love it, I developed a love for the sport and it became an addiction. Hate can be fuel, but it's the worst kind. Once it's gone there's nothing left, and it impacts your emotions, actions and life in a negative way.

    Just remember the hardest part of doing anything is getting started, whether it's running, lifting or anything else. You have to make yourself do it at first, then you begin enjoying it, loving it, and it becomes a habit. Why not try going with your wife a few times, it always helps to have a partner, whether it's a friend or anyone else?

    I'm sure you already know how beneficial it is for you so i don't have to explain it, but lifting makes you feel good man! In all aspects. I used to have bouts of no motivation, but the key is to find it, anyone can sit and wait for something to happen. But a successful person will get up and find it! My motivation is being able to push my body, to cross borders i could have never crossed before and to make my goals happen!

  13. hi im a skinny little man.. haha i use when i go to the beach and am the scrwniest guy there.. or when bigger dudes hit on my lady friend

  14. I started lifting two weeks after I got married because I realized that I was a fat guy that got lucky enough to have an amazing and really hot wife and here I was with 24/7 heartburn, bad mood swings, and not enough energy to carry my son up the stairs without getting out of breath. Lifting, or working out in general, can't be about anyone but you and how you want your life to be. Looking good is just a great by-product, being able to have better energy, better mood, and to be comfortable in your own skin are the real benefits.

    Of course having a 6 pack definitely doesn't suck!

  15. Get a divorce lol just kidding bro dont have sex the day before our the day of gym day sex = ***** gym day

  16. Quote Originally Posted by Mmyamahar6
    Get a divorce lol just kidding bro dont have sex the day before our the day of gym day sex = ***** gym day
    That's retard math. Having sex and busting nuts keeps testosterone levels on the good side

    And OP, getting healthy for my family is why I finally buckled down and started getting in shape. Running around with the young ones was a chore and I disliked it... That **** was sad, and one day, when I felt tired for no reason and my hands were getting tingly I realized I needed to get my life in order. Congrats on making your realization. You might not ever get thanked by your family for changing your health, but their future will be brighter with you in it. Peace fam

  17. Quote Originally Posted by Mmyamahar6
    Get a divorce lol just kidding bro dont have sex the day before our the day of gym day sex = ***** gym day
    False^^^. For me, getting a good pump and seeing results in the mirror is the best motivation. Like the one guy said, when people watch u train, it's like adding fuel to the fire. Oh and I can't forget my iPod

  18. When i lose motivation I watch Arnolds Pumping iron.

    keeps me alive
    www.facebook.com/KBrownFitness
    MRSupps Muscle Research Athlete

  19. Quote Originally Posted by matt8483 View Post
    False^^^. For me, getting a good pump and seeing results in the mirror is the best motivation. Like the one guy said, when people watch u train, it's like adding fuel to the fire. Oh and I can't forget my iPod

    Some totally disagree with your statement but I swear by it lol.

    I never have sex with the gf before my big lift days...
    www.facebook.com/KBrownFitness
    MRSupps Muscle Research Athlete

  20. Quote Originally Posted by kBrown

    Some totally disagree with your statement but I swear by it lol.

    I never have sex with the gf before my big lift days...
    Unless you're making a living off your physique, lifting is never a reason to not please your woman or yourself.

  21. Quote Originally Posted by kBrown
    When i lose motivation I watch Arnolds Pumping iron.

    keeps me alive
    This^^^ lol

  22. Quote Originally Posted by Go Away

    Unless you're making a living off your physique, lifting is never a reason to not please your woman or yourself.
    Fuk that! I'm married with a kid. But I always make time for training...

  23. Quote Originally Posted by kBrown View Post
    Some totally disagree with your statement but I swear by it lol.

    I never have sex with the gf before my big lift days...
    some people with ocd believe that they have to lock and unlock their door 16 times before opening or the sky will fall on their head..

    just because some people think that, it doesn't make it so.

    i think it's probably in your head.

  24. If its in my head then it affects me
    Placebo is a tough cookie

    Quote Originally Posted by alexoc949 View Post
    some people with ocd believe that they have to lock and unlock their door 16 times before opening or the sky will fall on their head..

    just because some people think that, it doesn't make it so.

    i think it's probably in your head.
    www.facebook.com/KBrownFitness
    MRSupps Muscle Research Athlete

  25. IDK, I feel more energetic when I go to the gym after I smash.. U ever watch sports science?

  26. Quote Originally Posted by matt8483

    Fuk that! I'm married with a kid. But I always make time for training...
    You like training more than getting laid??

  27. Quote Originally Posted by Go Away

    You like training more than getting laid??
    Sometimes... I'm a married man with a toddler. I'm lucky to get laid more than twice a week.

  28. Quote Originally Posted by matt8483 View Post
    IDK, I feel more energetic when I go to the gym after I smash.. U ever watch sports science?

    Never have watched it,
    not sure if you were directing that at me.
    www.facebook.com/KBrownFitness
    MRSupps Muscle Research Athlete

  29. Quote Originally Posted by kBrown

    Never have watched it,
    not sure if you were directing that at me.
    It was just a general question, but the reason I asked, they did an episode on this exact topic. Their study showed that sex doesn't affect energy levels. Yes, of course maybe the first few minutes after u bust a nut, but that's it.

  30. Id say dont **** your girl before the gym because of one factor : YOUR DAMN GIRL!! She will want to cuddle, and try to talk you out of training..Trust me it's happened before-- OHH and if you just LEAVE her after you bust a nut to go train, its over. You're in the dog pound, and you're probably not gonna get laid the next night, maybe even two!!!
    . I mean there are times ive smashed her and then went to the gym, but always with resistance--

    all i gotta say is, bitch if you like why i look so good why do you complain when i have to go train all the time? women... women... women...

  31. Quote Originally Posted by matt8483 View Post
    Sometimes... I'm a married man with a toddler. I'm lucky to get laid more than twice a week.
    I hear that. Married with a 2 year old here, work 70 hours a week, hardly ever get a piece anymore.

  32. Quote Originally Posted by cswalczakny

    I hear that. Married with a 2 year old here, work 70 hours a week, hardly ever get a piece anymore.
    I'm in the same boat but when 50-60 hours a week. That's why when I can smash ... I smash you feel me?!

  33. Quote Originally Posted by matt8483

    Sometimes... I'm a married man with a toddler. I'm lucky to get laid more than twice a week.
    I'm married with a 19 month old and a gf that works 12 hour days so yeah sex is like a holiday lol and oral? Yeah that seemed to have gone out the window to lol
    Email me for free prodigy samples
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  34. Quote Originally Posted by Go Away View Post
    I'm in the same boat but when 50-60 hours a week. That's why when I can smash ... I smash you feel me?!
    Haha know what u mean

  35. Quote Originally Posted by howwedo107 View Post
    I'm married with a 19 month old and a gf that works 12 hour days so yeah sex is like a holiday lol and oral? Yeah that seemed to have gone out the window to lol
    I got to keep that all the way up until my son was born, then never again. That's the way it goes!

  36. Quote Originally Posted by Go Away

    I'm in the same boat but when 50-60 hours a week. That's why when I can smash ... I smash you feel me?!
    Lmao! Hell yea!

  37. Quote Originally Posted by howwedo107

    I'm married with a 19 month old and a gf that works 12 hour days so yeah sex is like a holiday lol and oral? Yeah that seemed to have gone out the window to lol
    Hell yea! Same here! Now it's just me and my hand!

  38. thanks guys, your above posts made me realize that i never want to get married... the whole never getting laid after its done..

  39. Quote Originally Posted by aceroni
    thanks guys, your above posts made me realize that i never want to get married... the whole never getting laid after its done..
    Lmao!! Yea there are droughts. I wouldnt change it though. IMO being single sucks. Especially if ur married to a great woman.. Banging the same clean puss is always better than swapping dick juice with the next man.

  40. Quote Originally Posted by matt8483

    Lmao!! Yea there are droughts. I wouldnt change it though. IMO being single sucks. Especially if ur married to a great woman.. Banging the same clean puss is always better than swapping dick juice with the next man.
    Chuuuurch!!!!
  

  
 

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