Motivation gone

letmekeep10

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Hey all,

Im 23 years old, 210, and having some issues. From when I was 17 to about a year ago I was pretty serious about lifting. I had all the motivation in the world and while I had brief periods of inactivity, I was consistent. I would look in the mirror and hate what I saw, Id use rejection, humiliation, and betrayals in my past as motivation to better myself in the gym. I told myself that I was single because I didn't look good enough and viewed other people in the gym as adversaries.

About a year ago, I met my wife. She has filled my emptiness and has made me genuinely happy. Ever since I have really slacked off, at 17 I weighed 130lbs, at 18 I was 180lbs, at 22 I was 235lbs, and right now I am 210lbs with much more body fat than ever before. I still go to the gym but my hate was my downfall. I don't hardly ever get angry anymore and I don't have any room for hate. And without that I have hardly any steam.

Also I no longer use any hormonal supplements or even preworkouts. I wanted to post this in the all natural forums because I'd like to stay that way. So yeah I just want to see if anyone here has gone through anything similar to lend any advice. Thanks guys.
 

SweetLou321

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You gotta discover what drives you. I use to bodybuild and my motivation would come and go, I always looked pretty good so I didnt progress much. Then I discovered powerlifting and it drives me so hard in the gym. Idk man you gotta find what makes you tick.
 

rynie27

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I'm in the same ballpark as you bro, like exact same. I still enjoy working out though and bettering my body. I seem to do it more for myself now than for what everyone else thinks
 
JajaNe20

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Try articles, books videos something to get motivation back! I have so many youtube videos on my favorites list that inspire me! Videos or books don't have to be about getting in shape to get your heart pumping; for instance, the one video is about the dad that does iron man's for his son because he is a (vegetable) and his son can't speak, talk or move, but when his dad used to do them alone he would smile! The father then straps him on a raft when he swims, rides him on a wagon when he bikes and jogs with him on his back. the most incredible thing ever is that he places relatively high still! it just goes to show you when you think you have it bad or your not good enough (psychologically) that there is always someone else worse off. Stories like these get me driven! Maybe it would help...
 
Newtonselite

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Ever thought about competing?? Nothing more motivating then getting ready for a comp and pushing your training and diet to dominate the competition.
 
Strygwyr

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Times like these just think that your greatest adversary is your self your body wants to stay in it's comfort zone, like what the guy said in one of zhasni's video " there's a million reason not to do it but there's always one reason to keep on going"
 
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Just know that being unhealthy will make you uncomfortable at an older age, and as you get into your twenties you'll be so proud of yourself if you got on the grind now so that in your thirties your healthy and strong.

Your hormone levels are only going to drop lower And lower, so take advantage now so you're not playing catch up later.

I'm 28 and wish I had been serious about lifting and health years ago, instead of just being happily hugged up with my girl.

Plus if you have kids, being healthy makes parenting so much more fulfilling.
 
HondaV65

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Women are the ultimate motivational killer. :banghead:

I've been going to the gym for over 30 years now and the only time I ever had a problem with motivation was when something came up in my life that physically prevented me from going to the gym - Hurricane Katrina is one of those things that comes to mind.

Other than that - I was in the military and you get kicked out or have your promotion hindered if you're a fat boy - so being in good shape is a must ... you live and work in a culture of fitness ... and they actually give you time off to work out. By the way - any young ones reading this who don't know what to do with their lives - US Navy 2nd Class Diver is the bomb dudes. All the Navy girls want to **** you and you're in the gym for as long as you want each day. If you're not in gym or diving - you're playing volleyball ... those guys are dawgs.

Anyway - I'm retired now but I keep motivation through several means ...

First - I travel all over the world and, without getting into what I do, I can tell you that I work with huge brutes that come from various parts of Europe - mostly Scandinavia - Viking stock you know. As an American - I feel a strong urge to "buck" the "fat and lazy" American stereotype that most Europeans hold of us. So one of my goals is to be bigger and badder than any of those ****ers I work with. Damn it - there is no better bloodline on this planet than American - because it's a combination of ALL bloodlines. So I'm out to prove this.

Second - I'm 50, and if you pick 500 guys who are 50 years old off the street at random and throw them into a room with me - I will be the one that's in the best shape.

Third - Mrs. Honda. Most wives are happy when you get fat and they even subtly encourage it because they believe it will deter other women from making moves on you. Mrs. Honda isn't like that. She knows I love her and no other and no matter where I park my motor scooter - I will always bring it home to her. She doesn't care as long as it's not waved in her face and she doesn't know about it and I take precautions to avoid disease.

Forth - Mrs. Honda. Okay, I confess, I'm 50 and she's like 53 and we don't **** as much as we used to when we were in our early 20's. Back then we did it like 10 times a week. Now - we're down to two ... sometimes three. On my 50th birthday she got a hotel room for two days and all we did was **** for two days and take occasional breaks for Starbucks and eating food. She was enthusiastic the entire time and treated me like a KING. This is probably another reason she doesn't care who else I fool around with - because she has the self-confidence to know that, although another girl might hold attractive variety for me - there is no way she can turn me on in the sack like Mrs. Honda.

I'm pretty happy with my life right now and I want it to keep going for as long as possible, that's my motivation for working as hard as possible in the gym.
 
rsnake21

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I go through my ups and downs man like everybody but this sh*t ain't for everybody. I enjoy going to the gym but some days I feel like I'm putting in more work and money that I'm getting out. It makes me want to quit but you have to have patience. If the only reason you were working out was to find a woman then mission accomplished I guess. Unfortunately most marriages end in divorce these days so you got to make sure your ready to go if it happens that way lol.
 
Whacked

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I've been there so many times; thinking "WTH am I wasting all this money, time and energy over? For what?"

Quite simply, my main motivation is .......health.

When I was young, I sought the "fun benefits" of looking aesthetically pleasing, picking up chicks, looking cool, and being as strong as a bull.

These days, as science continues to come out with new studies almost daily supporting weight training AND cardio (for physical and mental health), I feel it's a must to ward off disease and aging. Sure, there still exxisits a vain side of me that still likes to look good/in shape.

So, I look at it like shaving, going to the grocery store, putting gas in the car and any other relatively annoying mundane tasks you have no choice but to do. Some times I actually enjoy getting in a good shave or going to the grocery store - but it's infrequent. Regardless, I get 'em done.

My point? I view ALL of these as simply requirements of life. Weight training and Cardio until I die are no different.

I don't need to go to the gym and get all psycho and punish the weights or impress anyone these days. Some days, when I'm feeling it, I do just that; while others, I just get it done. I listen to my body. I am not competing and Im certainly not trying to be the next Mr Olympia.

These days, it's 100% for ME and my health and happiness in knowing I am the best I can be and kicking the aging' process's butt and avoiding injuries.
 
alexoc949

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for me i like killing it in the gym, like i'm an actor putting on a performance with how hard i hit it. people watch and i thrive on it.

there is also nothing better than looking and feeling good, being the walking example in everyday life of what fit is.

you're just being lazy right now dude, once you get into a groove.. you can get yourself back into it. Get over that hump, you know.. you're not 17 anymore so maybe that motivation you had won't feel the same. get the groove going with your will and the gym mojo will soon follow.

another option is maybe see if your wife would like to start working out. maybe the two of you could motivate each other.
 
MusclestoGo

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I began lifting because of aesthetics, i hated being skinny! But it didn't take me long to come to love it, I developed a love for the sport and it became an addiction. Hate can be fuel, but it's the worst kind. Once it's gone there's nothing left, and it impacts your emotions, actions and life in a negative way.

Just remember the hardest part of doing anything is getting started, whether it's running, lifting or anything else. You have to make yourself do it at first, then you begin enjoying it, loving it, and it becomes a habit. Why not try going with your wife a few times, it always helps to have a partner, whether it's a friend or anyone else?

I'm sure you already know how beneficial it is for you so i don't have to explain it, but lifting makes you feel good man! :D In all aspects. I used to have bouts of no motivation, but the key is to find it, anyone can sit and wait for something to happen. But a successful person will get up and find it! My motivation is being able to push my body, to cross borders i could have never crossed before and to make my goals happen!
 
GageM

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hi im a skinny little man.. haha i use when i go to the beach and am the scrwniest guy there.. or when bigger dudes hit on my lady friend
 
TheSwanks

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I started lifting two weeks after I got married because I realized that I was a fat guy that got lucky enough to have an amazing and really hot wife and here I was with 24/7 heartburn, bad mood swings, and not enough energy to carry my son up the stairs without getting out of breath. Lifting, or working out in general, can't be about anyone but you and how you want your life to be. Looking good is just a great by-product, being able to have better energy, better mood, and to be comfortable in your own skin are the real benefits.

Of course having a 6 pack definitely doesn't suck!
 

Mmyamahar6

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Get a divorce lol just kidding bro dont have sex the day before our the day of gym day sex = ***** gym day
 
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Get a divorce lol just kidding bro dont have sex the day before our the day of gym day sex = ***** gym day
That's retard math. Having sex and busting nuts keeps testosterone levels on the good side

And OP, getting healthy for my family is why I finally buckled down and started getting in shape. Running around with the young ones was a chore and I disliked it... That **** was sad, and one day, when I felt tired for no reason and my hands were getting tingly I realized I needed to get my life in order. Congrats on making your realization. You might not ever get thanked by your family for changing your health, but their future will be brighter with you in it. Peace fam
 
matt8483

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Get a divorce lol just kidding bro dont have sex the day before our the day of gym day sex = ***** gym day
False^^^. For me, getting a good pump and seeing results in the mirror is the best motivation. Like the one guy said, when people watch u train, it's like adding fuel to the fire. Oh and I can't forget my iPod
 
kBrown

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When i lose motivation I watch Arnolds Pumping iron.

keeps me alive :)
 
kBrown

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False^^^. For me, getting a good pump and seeing results in the mirror is the best motivation. Like the one guy said, when people watch u train, it's like adding fuel to the fire. Oh and I can't forget my iPod

Some totally disagree with your statement but I swear by it lol.

I never have sex with the gf before my big lift days...
 
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Some totally disagree with your statement but I swear by it lol.

I never have sex with the gf before my big lift days...
Unless you're making a living off your physique, lifting is never a reason to not please your woman or yourself.
 
matt8483

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Unless you're making a living off your physique, lifting is never a reason to not please your woman or yourself.
Fuk that! I'm married with a kid. But I always make time for training...
 
alexoc949

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Some totally disagree with your statement but I swear by it lol.

I never have sex with the gf before my big lift days...
some people with ocd believe that they have to lock and unlock their door 16 times before opening or the sky will fall on their head..

just because some people think that, it doesn't make it so.

i think it's probably in your head.
 
kBrown

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If its in my head then it affects me :)
Placebo is a tough cookie

some people with ocd believe that they have to lock and unlock their door 16 times before opening or the sky will fall on their head..

just because some people think that, it doesn't make it so.

i think it's probably in your head.
 
matt8483

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IDK, I feel more energetic when I go to the gym after I smash.. U ever watch sports science?
 
kBrown

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IDK, I feel more energetic when I go to the gym after I smash.. U ever watch sports science?

Never have watched it,
not sure if you were directing that at me.
 
matt8483

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Never have watched it,
not sure if you were directing that at me.
It was just a general question, but the reason I asked, they did an episode on this exact topic. Their study showed that sex doesn't affect energy levels. Yes, of course maybe the first few minutes after u bust a nut, but that's it.
 

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Id say dont **** your girl before the gym because of one factor : YOUR DAMN GIRL!! She will want to cuddle, and try to talk you out of training..Trust me it's happened before-- OHH and if you just LEAVE her after you bust a nut to go train, its over. You're in the dog pound, and you're probably not gonna get laid the next night, maybe even two!!!
. I mean there are times ive smashed her and then went to the gym, but always with resistance--

all i gotta say is, bitch if you like why i look so good why do you complain when i have to go train all the time? women... women... women...
 
TheSwanks

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Sometimes... I'm a married man with a toddler. I'm lucky to get laid more than twice a week.
I hear that. Married with a 2 year old here, work 70 hours a week, hardly ever get a piece anymore.
 
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I hear that. Married with a 2 year old here, work 70 hours a week, hardly ever get a piece anymore.
I'm in the same boat but when 50-60 hours a week. That's why when I can smash ... I smash you feel me?!
 
howwedo107

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Sometimes... I'm a married man with a toddler. I'm lucky to get laid more than twice a week.
I'm married with a 19 month old and a gf that works 12 hour days so yeah sex is like a holiday lol and oral? Yeah that seemed to have gone out the window to lol
 
TheSwanks

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I'm in the same boat but when 50-60 hours a week. That's why when I can smash ... I smash you feel me?!
Haha know what u mean
 
TheSwanks

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I'm married with a 19 month old and a gf that works 12 hour days so yeah sex is like a holiday lol and oral? Yeah that seemed to have gone out the window to lol
I got to keep that all the way up until my son was born, then never again. That's the way it goes!
 
matt8483

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I'm married with a 19 month old and a gf that works 12 hour days so yeah sex is like a holiday lol and oral? Yeah that seemed to have gone out the window to lol
Hell yea! Same here! Now it's just me and my hand!
 

aceroni

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thanks guys, your above posts made me realize that i never want to get married... the whole never getting laid after its done..
 
matt8483

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thanks guys, your above posts made me realize that i never want to get married... the whole never getting laid after its done..
Lmao!! Yea there are droughts. I wouldnt change it though. IMO being single sucks. Especially if ur married to a great woman.. Banging the same clean puss is always better than swapping dick juice with the next man.
 
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Lmao!! Yea there are droughts. I wouldnt change it though. IMO being single sucks. Especially if ur married to a great woman.. Banging the same clean puss is always better than swapping dick juice with the next man.
Chuuuurch!!!!
 

aceroni

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@matt- thats a really good point.. but idk about the whole single sucks thing man im quite happy single now-- get to do whatever i want, whenever i want, no bitch to ask to come along no bitch to hold me back from going to the gym no bitch to well, bitch at me for stupid petty little ****..
sure i miss ****ing my girl every night or every other night... but it comes down to the point where you have to ask the question- is the juice worth the squeeze? sure- while i was getting laid daily i (thought) it was worth it, but now that i look back on it, im so much less stressed out and more happy.. but thats besides the point- my bitch was CRAZY. idk where to find em that arnt crazy,... but if you know just hit me up!! hahahaaaa
you're right though about finding a great woman. the problem is -- the good ones are hard to find.


edit:: but back to the ops question, the motivation has to come from within you. You have to personally WANT to improve, WANT to be better than you have in the past. If you dont want to better yourself- dont expect to get much of anything done.. really..
i mean yeah some days im tired. some days i dont want to train.. but i just ask myself "do i want to get better / stronger/ bigger"... the answer to me is obvious. i know what i have to do to achieve those goals: train consistently, eat my meals consistently, get enough sleep, and the rest falls into place.
 
matt8483

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@matt- thats a really good point.. but idk about the whole single sucks thing man im quite happy single now-- get to do whatever i want, whenever i want, no bitch to ask to come along no bitch to hold me back from going to the gym no bitch to well, bitch at me for stupid petty little ****..
sure i miss ****ing my girl every night or every other night... but it comes down to the point where you have to ask the question- is the juice worth the squeeze? sure- while i was getting laid daily i (thought) it was worth it, but now that i look back on it, im so much less stressed out and more happy.. but thats besides the point- my bitch was CRAZY. idk where to find em that arnt crazy,... but if you know just hit me up!! hahahaaaa
you're right though about finding a great woman. the problem is -- the good ones are hard to find.

edit:: but back to the ops question, the motivation has to come from within you. You have to personally WANT to improve, WANT to be better than you have in the past. If you dont want to better yourself- dont expect to get much of anything done.. really..
i mean yeah some days im tired. some days i dont want to train.. but i just ask myself "do i want to get better / stronger/ bigger"... the answer to me is obvious. i know what i have to do to achieve those goals: train consistently, eat my meals consistently, get enough sleep, and the rest falls into place.
Yes there's good and bad with being in a relationship. But as far as feeling tied down and a bitch telling u what to do, there are chicks that aren't controlling. And hey, there are some with money too! Lol! But the biggest one of all for me is being able to getting along and appreciating one another. But yes, it's better to be single than to be with a crazy bitch anyday.

As far as the motivation thing ur 100% right
 

Mmyamahar6

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Agree about not getting any after kids I'm married three kids and probably one more, I work out in the morning also the only time I get any because I work at night so it changes my workout immensely if I get some first and not in a good way, I think once your married priority changes I know my ladys always going to be there so I dont have to go out looking for it or "swapping dick juices" so sex is not as valuable a it used to be no worries you know what I mean
 

letmekeep10

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I'll start with the married/single debate.

To be perfectlty honest, I got married based on lies and attention. I thought I was saving my wife from her family when I later found out she has mental health problems. For a long time I resented her for it and almost walked out. But then I got over the betrayal and took a good hard look at myself. I lied a **** ton when I was younger, I just never got caught so I never even thought about it as it happened. Bottom line is, my wife can't drive a car, has a $280 ring, only askes for drinks at the store and clothes now and again, she doesn't even have access to the bank account. She has a mood swing over stupid **** about 1% of the time, and all i have to do is clam up and she's sorry 5 min later. She 100% depends on me and completely comprehends that I bring home the bacon and buy nice things now and again. If I had to do it all over again I totally would, I don't think another person in the world exists who would love my strangness and I never have to be alone again. So try to size a girl up from all angles and then take a good look at your self, I also recommend taking the scenic road to marriage, my particular situation is 1;1000000

So I think I got the gym figured out now. I think my test was just dragging for a year and took it's toll on my brain. I met my wife in the middle of an m-drol cycle and dropped it suddenly. So when I tried to pick it up again early this year going all natural it was murder. I think the anger I thought was motivating me was just my test levels making me aggressive. About week 3 in when I really got back into it and started killing my legs I started to feel that spark again. I never messed with legs much before since girls didn't really notice anyway but whenI read that killing them could raise your test levels I was all in. Now I'm getting close to where I peaked in my life and I'm clean and never messing with test boosters again. I my use creatine and glutamine down the road but I'm so interested and motivated by how far I'm getting with diet and excercising alone I want to see how far I can take this.

I appreciate all the advice, it's cool to see what motivates different people, I'm sorry I took so long to check back here, been full throttle every thing I do!
 

Mmyamahar6

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Yiu said you won't take test boosters are yiu referring to daa or more like pro hormones like beastdrol im thinking about doing a erase/daa stack and I'm trying to get an idea of what to expect or if I should even bother
 

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I used cypianate (sp?) once and it was modest with gains. Then I tried m-drol with pro horms and Nolva afteward, gotta say that I was growing fast as ****, it also mellowed me out. My own test makes me practically bi-polar but pro-horms always chilled me out.
 
divo006

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its interesting you say you dont have any steam, hate etc after you have met your wife. she has made you happy, you fueled off of the anger, the anger motivated you....im the same way. i met a girl, she made me happy, still does and i found myself becomeing "soft" meaning, kinda lost that edge. i found it though, not sure how but i did. revert back to whatever it was that drove you, you have to find that nasty mother f*cker inside yourself again.
 
TayTeg

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I got married at 23 to my wife. I was on cycle on Tren/test/ and eq and just loving it. fast forwarded 6 months later im eating krispy kreme donuts wondering why i am getting fat. Cause you get comfortable, just like anybody who is happy with there wife or husband. Then i decided to get my act into gear and did it for myself. I forgot i was juicing and lifting for the wrong reasons. *****. Now its a whole new ball game, and im bigger and stronger than when i was on the Gear. When i need motivation i just type in bodybuilding motivation in youtube and by video 3 or 4 im ready to run out the door with my Pre workout.
 

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People mentioned the "find the drive, etcetc", but besides that, I want to suggest changing diets slowly and taking a fat burner. Once the effects of that start kicking in and you see change, it might help push you do more?
Good luck!
 

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