Libido Questions/venting/moral support

[SufferingEd]

Good Morning all. I had a ruff night and wanted to vent a little plus I have a few questions and need of a little moral support. This is kind of long but like I said I am letting off a little steam.

I never had Erection problems until all this started, 1'm 37 by the way. I take 10mg Testim a day. Now in the last six months I have had several episode of ED. I 've been taking Levitra when wife and I have sex, if I dont I usually have ED. My T is up to the mid 500's but my prolactin is high (15.9). I can get an erection if I take my time and think naughty thoughts (dirty mags, and movies still really do not work for me which really sucks because they always did before).

Last night was a planned night of sex. I took my Levitra and was some what ready to go. I still get really nervous even when taking Levitra, Feels like my heart is going to jump out my chest. Wife gets upset and decides she no longer wants to have sex if I take Levitra. She says it does not feel "real" and it takes away from the experience. She is tired of planning sex. Talk about putting some added pressure on a guy to perform. Now sometimes we do have sex in the morning before the kids wake up. I seem to do OK then, T levels higher, I do not have all day to think about ect. When I think we may have sex I will have what I think is anxiety attacks all day long (increased heart rate, feels like heart will jump out of my chest, no pain though). Actually starting to feel like that as I type this and I know I am not having sex to tonight. Also it seems like I week out of the month I will feel better than the rest of the month.

Is this a bad case of performance anxiety?
If I get my prolactin back down to 2.5 to 5 and my T up to the 700's will I be horny enough that I will not have to worry about performance anxiety?
I am associating my "anxiety attacks" with sex, could they actually be something else?
When I was into my third and fourth week of Testim I actaully did not have any anxiety attacks. Acutally felt really good. All down hill since and "anxiety" is actually worse than before.
Did any was else have really bad performance anxiety they overcame once on TRT?
If no one replys thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Soemtimes it feels good just to write things down. I do have an Endo appt on May 8th.

 

[anyman]

Sounds like a classic case of performance anxiety and a spiraling pattern of thoughts

and worries. We guys are, despite our outward manifestations, very prone to worrying and worse when things go south below the belt. Doesn't take too many episodes of substandard performance to get us thinking. And worrying. And then spiraling downward if we are not careful.

Sounds like your wife is also having trouble dealing with the situation, which makes it even harder on you. Maybe "harder" is a poor choice of words.... In any event. maybe she is nervous and scared for you as you spend more and more time dealing with this to find a solution. Dealing with this is bad enough without adding sposal worries to the mix.

My suggestion: try something other then Levitra. Maybe Viagra or Cialis would be better for you. In the interim, try to tell yourself that you are dealing with this the best you can and don't leave your wife unsatisfied. If you have to do other things to have her enjoy sex and climax then do so. Me? I enjoy giving my wife oral sex whenever possible so she is still happy.

Boards like this are a good place to talk & vent as there is NO WAY I could or would talk about these issues elsewhere.

 

[SufferingEd]

I agree theses boards are great. It is a great way to research yet get your "demons" off your back. My wife does not want me to use anything, Viagra, Cialis, ect. Though she has had a bad week, and has a high sex drive, so I am sure if she goes to long without she'll tell me to take something so she could get her "sex fix." It's funny because even though she has a high sex drive, I have often, like you, offered to pleasure her in other ways, and she says no. At least I am offering.

I have been having really bad anxiety the last few weeks. I always assciate it with sex, but now I am thinking its just the Low T thing. Once I get this figured out, and get my T up and prolactin down, then it will much easier to deal with the ED.

Acutally I am using Dr. Johns list of questions to call my Endo's office to see what they answer to. I also found some more Doctors I can call to. If all else fails I will drive/or fly to Lansing. Just trying to get as much as I can done through insurance. Good Luck.

 

[anyman]

I too am searching locally, but not getting anywhere. My biggest issue is (m)

not permanently shutting down the HPTA. I do not want to start any course of therapy until I have a handle on what the ramifications would be. For example, if I listened to my clueless local urologist I'd be on Androgel for life and blindsided when my testicles shrank and then stopped working for good. I don't want to start anything until I am fully aware of all options and more, hence my trip to Mass General Hospital next week. I strongly suspect that I'll be making an appt soon thereafter w/ Dr John or Dr Shippen, who is closer to me. I am very concerned that if I start something without thinking it through I could inadvertently shut myself down for good and thus greatly reduce or eliminate my options. Don't want to do more damage as who knows what additional progress medicine will see in the next 10, 20 or more years.

I am fortunate in that I can afford the expense. Hell, I just spent 2-3K restoring an old motorcycle I've had since I was a teenager! Spending $1K to fix my testicles seems like a bargain!

 

[SufferingEd]

I think my PRL is high becuase my sex drive is low. I want sex, but I don't want sex. If that makes any since. I see wife thank she is sexy but no drive to do anything about it. Plus last year at this time a Victorias Secret Catalog would jump start me, now I could care less to even look at a playboy. My T is in mid 500's (on Testim), so maybe that is part of the problem.

Right now I am just going to try to relax and see Endo in a couple of weeks. See what she has to say. The reason I say I think I would feel better once I get T up and/or prolactin down is beauce when I first started Testim, the third and fourth weeks I was really feeling good. No anxiety, acutally chased my wife around a few times. If that does not work then it will be off to a good sex counsler.

 

[b4554]

Makes sense to me

I think my PRL is high becuase my sex drive is low. I want sex, but I don't want sex. If that makes any since. I see wife thank she is sexy but no drive to do anything about it. Plus last year at this time a Victorias Secret Catalog would jump start me, now I could care less to even look at a playboy. My T is in mid 500's (on Testim), so maybe that is part of the problem.

Right now I am just going to try to relax and see Endo in a couple of weeks. See what she has to say. The reason I say I think I would feel better once I get T up and/or prolactin down is beauce when I first started Testim, the third and fourth weeks I was really feeling good. No anxiety, acutally chased my wife around a few times. If that does not work then it will be off to a good sex counsler.

Reminds me exactly of me and my ex. I would like to have sex, but was affraid to begin and risk an embarrasing situation where I end up disappointing her. This then would go into a downward spiral and build into more and more performance anxiety making things perpetually worse. All the stress of this a number of times would make me avoid and loose interest in sex :ntome: .

 

[Charlie]

SufferingEd, you said in an earlier post;
Post your story. Have you seen doc, yet? There maybe something someone can do or suggest. Good Luck.

The simple answer is yes, and over the last 12 years I have tried to get help from (5) different ones, and I can honestly say that I have gotten no help at all, not even a tiny bit!

I was able to get myself back where I wanted to be with a product called "Andro Fuel", but it is no longer available. So for the last 3 years I have been searching, and wasting money on Dr's. and suppliments. But, I have made a little progress, - for an older guy.

You said you were going to a Urogolist and a Euro. One of my wasted efforts was with an older Urogolist, but what is a Euro?

I did try to open up a thread about Libido earlier, but some of the other residents thought it was an invitation to discuss diet and foods. Maybe I am missing the point, "If I stuff my gut with the right foods, my libido will come back"!!!!

 

[anyman]

Libido is not my problem. Sometimes I almost wish it calm down (m)

Low T, intermittent ED and a still high sex drive can be a frustrating combination. Sometimes I almost wonder if a lower libido would make the constant irritation and the like easier to deal with. My wife almost likes the "calmer" me better at times.

 

[fit4life05]

my problem is both no sex drive and most of the time ed problems...

i guess i also somewhat suffer from performance anxiety

but lets remember we wouldnt be suffering from that if it wasnt the low T in the first place...

 

[griffinannie]

Is there a consesus target for prolactin? I saw a Dr. Shippen video from a presentation last summer in Chicago. He said his target is 3. Dr. John is there a agreed on target by you industry leaders?

 

[SufferingEd]

Well thanks for all the replys guys. Yes this is all very fustrating. I agree I would not be having performence anxiety in the first place if it were not for Low T. We get Low T which kills our sex drive and cause ED. Then we get T fixed and still have ED because of performance anxiety due to all the ED while having LOW T!! Sucks. I have a plan. I am going to sit wife down. Tell her I am pressuring myself to have sex. I need try to relex and enjoy it instead of worring about it. She could help by telling me whenever she is horny or needs a little sex. I love seeing her naked and I love performing oral on her. She should let me do this for her, therefore she gets some release, there is no pressure on me to perform, I will diffenelty enjoy it, and hey if "Privat Penis"as Charlie put it rises to the occasion then I will enjoy shooting my canon.

Charlie--I saw your post. I was trying to figure out the food thing myself. I thought it was funny the way you put it though. Got a good laugh. Thanks. Actually I am seeing an Endo (Endocrinologists) they specialize in hormones, but you need to call around and find one who does TRT. Go to the top of these boards and read Dr. Johns ways to find a doctor. They can be hard to find. Good luck to you.

One other thing guys. I seem to really like my idea but I still seem to be having these little anxiety attacks, Could this be from Low T or soemthing else. They usually last all day, they are worse when thinking about sex, but still having them anyways. Can being on T raise blood pressure? Any thoughts?

 

[coz]

One other thing guys. I seem to really like my idea but I still seem to be having these little anxiety attacks, Could this be from Low T or soemthing else. They usually last all day, they are worse when thinking about sex, but still having them anyways. Can being on T raise blood pressure? Any thoughts?

How is your E2 ? high Estrogen can cause anxiety in some guys

 

[Ribo68]

SufferingEd,
Sorry for your situation. First just let me say that performance anxiety and testosterone levels are two entirely
different animals. One is strictly physical. The other one is an emotionally based "problem" that manifests itself physically. Much like stress can lead to heart attacks, stroke, HTN, ulcers, etc. , performance anxiety can lead to many undesireable physical symptoms. Anxiety of any sort is a fear-based emotion. And it has a snowball effect in that it seems to gain momentum and size as time goes by. Symptoms can be treated with drugs but the root of the problem is still there waiting to rear its ugly head...FEAR! Most of our emotions cannot be trusted. Someone who has anxiety attacks or phobias knows that those thoughts are irrational, but they can't seem to help themselves from going with the flow of those thoughts. You are fighting a battle in your own mind that is completely winnable. Let me encourage you to keep
moving toward the light at the end of the tunnel. And BTW, Cialis has a longer "window of opportunity" than Levitra or Viagara. I believe it's about 72 hrs. So, technically your wife doesn't need to know you've taken it. This in and of itself might help alleviate some of the stressors you're dealing with.
Feel free to PM me if you want.

 

[SufferingEd]

coz, my E2 was fine last lab (23), but since then I saw Uro and he upped my Testim. Labs were almost 6 weeks ago and Uro was a month ago, so ya my E2 could be up right now which could be causing anxiety.

Ribo,

Thanks. I know what you mean. I know I can acheive an erection, I know I want to have sex, I know I can perform, yet I can not get that ugly anxiety out of the ol head. I am going to continue to fight this beast. This is why I really belive if wife would let me pleasure her a few times with no pressure on me to perform, then I will relax and slowly lay the beast to rest. I want to try to stay away from Cialis ect for now. I want to fight anixety and not become dependent of Cialis, Levitra, ect. Although my wife has a high sex drive and so far we have been able to have sex at least twice a month (usually twice in a week then again three weeks later). With her having a high drive I am sure if she goes to long and gets really horny then she is going to tell me to take something. Thanks again.

Just reviewed your post Ribo. Your right I think my anxiety is fear produced. Fear of not pleasing wife and her going somewhere else to get it. Fear of never having sex again. I know both of these are not true. I just have to fight the fear. Why does all this have to be so damned hard!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Charlie]

SufferingEd said;
Charlie--I saw your post. I was trying to figure out the food thing myself. I thought it was funny the way you put it though. Got a good laugh. Thanks. Actually I am seeing an Endo (Endocrinologists) they specialize in hormones, but you need to call around and find one who does TRT. Go to the top of these boards and read Dr. Johns ways to find a doctor. They can be hard to find. Good luck to you.

As there are a multitude of hormones in our bodies, this looks like an opertune place for a Dr. to take you to the cleaners. I hope you have insurance to help you with this.

I have just about given up on finding a Dr. I have come to a conclusion that they don't know any more than I do, (and that's not much!!)

Dr. John is a different sort of character though, I might try to get up to see him someday.

Glad you enjoyed the State of the Country post.

 

[pmgamer18]

Yes test your E2 "Estradiol" if on the higher side the pill will not work. Getting E2 down between 10 to 30 best at 20 with a mid range SHBG you will still need some Cialis take it every 72 hrs this way you will not have to wait for a pill to work and you can have sex anytime. Once your penis fails you for a time then your mind will mess it up each time. So get on some cialis start at 10 mgs. take it every 72 hrs. This will give you good morning wood that will be good heath for your penis. Try to keep your Total and Free T up into the upper 1/3 of your labs range and your E2 between 10 to 30 pm/ml.

coz, my E2 was fine last lab (23), but since then I saw Uro and he upped my Testim. Labs were almost 6 weeks ago and Uro was a month ago, so ya my E2 could be up right now which could be causing anxiety.

Ribo,

Thanks. I know what you mean. I know I can acheive an erection, I know I want to have sex, I know I can perform, yet I can not get that ugly anxiety out of the ol head. I am going to continue to fight this beast. This is why I really belive if wife would let me pleasure her a few times with no pressure on me to perform, then I will relax and slowly lay the beast to rest. I want to try to stay away from Cialis ect for now. I want to fight anixety and not become dependent of Cialis, Levitra, ect. Although my wife has a high sex drive and so far we have been able to have sex at least twice a month (usually twice in a week then again three weeks later). With her having a high drive I am sure if she goes to long and gets really horny then she is going to tell me to take something. Thanks again.

Just reviewed your post Ribo. Your right I think my anxiety is fear produced. Fear of not pleasing wife and her going somewhere else to get it. Fear of never having sex again. I know both of these are not true. I just have to fight the fear. Why does all this have to be so damned hard!!!!!!!!!!

 

[SufferingEd]

Yes test your E2 "Estradiol" if on the higher side the pill will not work. Getting E2 down between 10 to 30 best at 20 with a mid range SHBG you will still need some Cialis take it every 72 hrs this way you will not have to wait for a pill to work and you can have sex anytime. Once your penis fails you for a time then your mind will mess it up each time. So get on some cialis start at 10 mgs. take it every 72 hrs. This will give you good morning wood that will be good heath for your penis. Try to keep your Total and Free T up into the upper 1/3 of your labs range and your E2 between 10 to 30 pm/ml.

I keep hearing Cialis will work for 72hrs. So I will ask for a sample when I go back to Doc on the 8th. My E2 was fine at 23, but that was 6 weeks ago and my testim was increased at the same time so it could be high now. My prolactin is 15.9. Also there is another board where someone is saying his doc put him on Paxil for the anxiety and Ciailis for the ED, and he is swearing up and down it worked like a charm. Any thoughts.

 

[anyman]

Paxil? I am half convinced it and a brief stint with Wellbutrin CAUSED Low T!

I could be wrong, but I have always wondered if my 1 1/4 yrs of Paxil followed by 1 month of Wellbutrin caused my issues. Why did I take these drugs even though I hate the idea? Simple-- out of consideration for my kids & wife as I was having issues w/ irritability. Could have been early symptoms of Low T for all I know, but I do recall the ED was a real issue for awhile after only a few weeks on Welbutrin.

I am really starting to develope a fear of and reluctance to use drugs of any kind......

 

[SufferingEd]

I could be wrong, but I have always wondered if my 1 1/4 yrs of Paxil followed by 1 month of Wellbutrin caused my issues. Why did I take these drugs even though I hate the idea? Simple-- out of consideration for my kids & wife as I was having issues w/ irritability. Could have been early symptoms of Low T for all I know, but I do recall the ED was a real issue for awhile after only a few weeks on Welbutrin.

I am really starting to develope a fear of and reluctance to use drugs of any kind......

I've heard Paxil can kill the sex drive, but unkown as to how long you would have to take it and if it effect hormones permantly or not. I did hear it can help guy with Premature Ejaculation. Still, do not know if it is tru or not.I know what you mean by being irritable. Latley I am moody, tired, and iritable. I am not going to take anything though until I get all blood work done and find out what is wrong. Then once I get hormones in check, I can work on the other problems, whether it be pysch doctor or someone else.

Went out last night with a body, the only other person besides wife and these boards that know about my problems. He was getting a kick out of pointing out good looking women and bodies to me, and I was like yeh OK. He just could not believe they were not doing anything for me down yonder.

 

[JanSz]

I've heard Paxil can kill the sex drive, but unkown as to how long you would have to take it and if it effect hormones permantly or not. I did hear it can help guy with Premature Ejaculation. Still, do not know if it is tru or not.I know what you mean by being irritable. Latley I am moody, tired, and iritable. I am not going to take anything though until I get all blood work done and find out what is wrong. Then once I get hormones in check, I can work on the other problems, whether it be pysch doctor or someone else.

Went out last night with a body, the only other person besides wife and these boards that know about my problems. He was getting a kick out of pointing out good looking women and bodies to me, and I was like yeh OK. He just could not believe they were not doing anything for me down yonder.

I do dance International Tango,
often with ladies that are rather easy on the eyes.
The pubic hair would tangle if not protected.
It is frustrating to not to have a hard on in that situation.
I am sharing your pain.
But I have never learned, I am coming for more (of frustration).

 

[pmgamer18]

Years ago before knowing I have low T was told I am suffering Major Depression and was on every kind of AD drug for 5 yrs. All they did was kill my libido or gave me bad ED. Paxil made me what sex but I could not reach an orgasm. So to have sex I stopped it on Fri had Sex on Sunday the took the Paxil after this is what the Dr. told me to do. Still all this time it was low T makeing so Sick.