Well the first signs I had that something wasn't right was low labido, lack of sensation, weak orgasm etc etc. That said and yes this was depressing enough. I didn't initially lose size and to accomodate my "sense of loss" I began to drink more alcohol and smoke some marijuana. This hedonism was totally out of character for me and people just assumed I was depressed. I sure was thinking suddenly, for some unknown reason to me I would need to take viagra for the rest of my life to function in a sexual way. Then knowing this was causing my depression was the worst case of denial I could imagine.
Then one day I woke up after a heavy unsatisfying marijuana smoking session to discover my penis was half or maybe less than half its "set flaccid size". I was once self assured about "having a big one" until that point although I obviously wasn't right, as I mentioned above with ED. This set me off into an all time low of becoming almost agrophobic and avoiding most social situations because of feelings of inadequacy. Again I had no idea what was happening to me and I often thought about not wanting to live anymore since I was/am now to some extent obviously not living life to the full so to speak. I have almost stopped drinking alcohol since, I never was much of a drinker anyway and not smoking is not a problem.
Living with this has become rather strange, the symptoms of things like low T mirror those of depression. That is the worst thing of all so I have supplimented with fish oils and vitamin E. I also drink Green Tea and consumer a good amount of fruit and veggies to boost my mood and hopefully my hormones, to some extent anyway.
The atrophy I have suffered since includes strange penis shape and bad blood flow giving the impression of going small or thin while flaccid like it is deteriorating away. It is a strange situation i.e. I could be sitting down at home relaxed and everything may hang normal with good blood flow etc and then when I am walking around sometimes it feels like NOTHING is there and I have to work hard on sexual thoughts to make it feel "fuller". It is a lot of baggage to carry in general I mean being in a social situation and having to go the toilet feeling that your penis has literally fell off is crushing. Not to mention how much hard work it makes of sex, emotionally and physically. I feel my body needs "recovery time" to build itself back up after a session
I have had bloodwork for my Testosterone levels and Thyroid that I am still waiting for. This should be interesting when I find out these results. It is still somewhat of a mystery to me. Having deteriorated so rapidly I can only think I may have had some kind of physical accident and/or inflammation somewhere along the way, that in turn effected my endocrine system in a very negative way. I don't know what else it could be since I am otherwise young, fit and in good health.
I think this forum is a huge relief for anyone who has or is still suffering from things like hypogonadism and general dysfunction. I probably would have drove myself mad and been stuck on anti depressants for the rest of my life. This is a great outlet that I now at least feel in a much more positive frame of mind, even though I go through this condition everyday.