Well my 41st birthday is just around the corner. My oldest daughter will be 18 a few days later and is graudating HS this year. My youngest daughter just graduated from Pre-K this week. I'm too young for one and too old for the other.
My son celebrated his 16th birthday without me again in March. His visitation will be shorter this year than anticipated. He calls me often and expresses very maturely his desire to be with his Dad. But he is torn between loving both his mother and I and not wanting to be away from either of us. I am torn with the concept of uprooting my wife and potentially changing the family financial future and security and moving to where he is. It's likely I will not be moving to where he is and likley he will not be coming to reside with me before he graduates HS.
I will be flying back next week to see my daughter and son. It is my daughters graduation ceremony. I will see her a few days and will not see her again for an undetermined period of time. She will be flying to Greece with my mother for a two week vacation for her graduation gift from my mother. When she returns she has a job and will be starting college in the fall.
I am comfortable with the shining dome of a head that has squeezed out all that natural thick dark drown hair that used to grow there. I keep my hair cut like a flat-top, or a high n' tight or white walls to keep the gray from being so damn obvious. Actually there is so very little to keep flat on the top.
I got fairly comfortable with this image when it was accompanied with the most awsome thick goat-t that I have really gotten skilled at grooming and manicuring. I meam pretty bad ass and it makes for quite the intimidation or sexiness, whichever your gender or side of the plate you swing from. But it has been like months since I have grown it out because it has all this gray that grows like a weed.
I had my double hernia operation last week. I have not been able to train for some 10-12 days now. The pain killers that used to be a 2-3 binge like party back in the day made me quite miserable afterwards. Took me several days to get over the hangover. I feel bloated and fat from the surgery and the lack of activity.
The last several months I have been dealing with depression issues. I am very sensitive to and aware of my psychological condition. I am a recovering alcoholic addict who has a very good grasp on the issues of family dynamics, predispositions, dependant/codependant relationships, depression, etc. So as you would obviously recognize by the above statements...I have issues.
Keep in mind that I state all the above with tounge-in-check and a semi morbid sense of sarcasm or humor. I am of fairly sound mind, body and spirit. I am by no means in need of serious concern or worries from anyone. If you can laugh at yourself, than at least you can then join all the others who are laughing at you.
I went in for a talk with my doctor a month or so ago and we decided to get some treatment for my depression with an SNRI called Effexer XR. Initially it worked very well. It helped with the depressed thought pattern but it did not help with energy, stamina, motivation, and other depression like symptoms. At that time I had some bloodwork. At my request I had a Testosterone test performed with a bunch of other basic stuff. Low and behold my Total Testosterone was at 367 on a range of 250-1100. As suspected it was low. I have not cycled in a few months. I suspected that it may still be somewhat skewed because of cycle history but I always have a decent PCT and recovery in an anecdotal sense as well.
Went back to the lab again two weeks ago to get more thorough testing done. It was Total, Free and % Free Testosterone as well as FSH and LH. As I suspected the results were fairly conclusive.
Total Test 454: 250-1100
Free Test 36.7: 35-155
% Free Test .81: 1.1-2.8
FSH 3.7: 0.7-11.1
LH 17.5: 0.8-7.6
My Total test was 454 which was 87 points higher but I may have tweeked it higher from fenugreek that I self administered.
So as we can see my values are all at the low or below and my LH is pumping pretty well. Not extremely high, but reasonably. This further prompted my doctor to order an MRI to rule out adenoma (a pituitary gland issue). I very assuredly suffer from hypogonadism and not a pituitary issue but I am grateful she is very thorough. She also sent me for more bloodwork today which included all of the above and now DHEA, Estrogen, etc etc...6-7 vials worth.
But here is the main reason for starting this thread. Mr. B5150 has just begun a TRT protocol which presently includes, and/but is presently limited to 5g/d of AndroGel. You read that correctly...AndroGel.
I am not starting this to debate the effectiveness or efficiency of this method. I know quite a reasonable amount regarding the various methods of administration. I discussed injectable with her and she is very aware of it. I have played as ignorant as I can about my knowledge and history of manipulating hormones so that I am able to get all of the bloodwork and attention needed to get my levels back up to where they need to be for a man my age. If there becomes an issue with me and the gel applications I can push for injectable. I want her to make the call. I have some very good skills of persuation without actually stating what I want.
"Whatever you do, don't toss me in the brier patch"
At the very most, via a doctor supervised administration, I would only expect this to elevate me to a level at or above the mean for my age. Theoretically, in the consideration of if and/or cycling, this only means to me that I would not need to implement a extensive PCT protocol to retain and maintain normal to high levels post cycle. That is all I would really expect to gain from this regarding that issue. Outside of that it would elevate my LBM potential and reduce my propensity for fatness as well as improve bone density and all the sexual and libido aspects associated with healthy testosterone levels.
So it has been a long winded opening post. Who would be surprised with that? I am really starting this thread to open discussion with my senior friends relative to their experiences with TRT/HRT.
The issues of my psychological condition stated in the opening few hundred words is not something that need be treated. I have a solid foundation of faith and I believe all things will work for good for those who hold onto their faith in a Greater and Higher Power.
So, here is to verility and vitality...and looking up your dresses.