Woman: an analysis

Gtarzan81

Gtarzan81

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Woman - A Chemical Analysis

Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer : Adam
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower
concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal
fluctuations.

Physical Properties :
a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties :
a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in
alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Uses :
a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it's too hot.

Tests :
a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Caution :
a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one.
 
Iron Warrior

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Great stuff bro ! I must send this to my friends !
 
Nabisco

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I'm sending this to my girlfriend. Classic Gtarzan. :twisted:
 
SilentBob187

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Riding the coattails of a good post! Thought I'd post up the corresponding MSDS for women. Remember to add each new MSDS page upon obtaining new material and to leave the manual in a conspicuous place. :study:
 

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Squeaks4ver

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Hey, you have to take Lilith into account. She beat the crap out of Adam.. he was crying baby to God.. and he had to remove her.

WOMEN RULE YOU!!!!!! MUHAHAHA:donut:
 
Squeaks4ver

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she had to put something in her mouth, Lord knows adam's wang just wasn't cutting it!
 
Trauma1

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\

I understood it, but I don't know if it was the context in which you meant it ahah.
Yeah it probably was lol, but i wasn't sure everyone would get it. :)
 
CDB

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My favorite is still the mathematical proof that women are evil.

Simple formula: Woman = Time * Money.

Of course everyone knows Time is Money, so really:

Woman= Money²

And since money is the root of all evil, then:

Money² = Evil

Money² = Woman

Woman = Evil
 
Trauma1

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My favorite is still the mathematical proof that women are evil.

Simple formula: Woman = Time * Money.

Of course everyone knows Time is Money, so really:

Woman= Money²

And since money is the root of all evil, then:

Money² = Evil

Money² = Woman

Woman = Evil
LOL! Nice bro. :lol:
 

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