Should I feel bad about this?
- 06-20-2008, 12:50 PM
- 06-20-2008, 12:57 PM
If she is breaking the law or a court order, I wouldn't sweat it, however make sure you don't have anything she could use against you..
06-20-2008, 01:18 PM
My lawyer will be the one calling the police. It was his idea. I'd feel bad having my son's mother arrested, but she doesn't seem to be taking this whole situation very seriously. She wants to wait until she's ready for my son and I to be together. That's just too bad, though. It's now in the hands of family court. My son turned 5 months old yesterday and I have yet to meet him. She thought she was so sneaky filing a protection order during the pregnancy. Well, I'm planning on fighting that, too, due to perjury.
06-20-2008, 01:48 PM
Bro. man I hate to hear that. I say go for it man, and don't feel bad he's your boy and you deserve, moreover have the right to see him and be his dad. Keep fighting Bro. little boys need their dad plain and simple. I have 3 boys and I'd be damned someone try and stop me from seeing them.
06-20-2008, 01:50 PM
you shouldnt feel bad. You have to do what you need to do to see your son. Dont sweat it bekuz if this was the other way around im pretty sure she would have done the same.
06-20-2008, 02:16 PM
Sorry to hear about your situation bro but don't feet bad about it you have rights too, and you have the right to see your kid (specially if you have not meet your kid yet) and if his mother is violating a court order more rights to you, I hope things work out for ya!
06-20-2008, 02:20 PM
06-20-2008, 02:46 PM
No - do what you have to do. That woman is causing this by her intentional inaction.
My ex/boat anchor has been playing games with my 15 year old daughter for 9 months. I've held off doing anything only out of concern for my daughter. She sided with my wife when my wife left, and then found out her mother was having another affair.
06-20-2008, 04:42 PM
We go back on July 3rd for a paternity hearing followup and for support. Not once have I doubted that my son was, in fact, mine, even though my ex did cheat on me during the pregnancy. I have a feeling that she may be putting off registering with supervised visitation until the week before we're due back in court, but that means another 2-4 weeks that is taken away from my son and I being able to spend time together. I violated the protection order and my ex saw me through that. It was a court order, which I violated, therefore I was arrested, charged, and am now facing the consequences. I don't think she realizes what could happen to her. I do believe a warrant will go out for her arrest, she'd be picked up by the state police, and charged with criminal contempt or something along those lines. She's one of those people who seems to think she can always weasel and lie her way out of any and every situation. I, however, sit around like a lame duck only because I'm waiting for her to take action on her part. She always used to tell me, "I can do this on my on. Me and my son don't need you." I guess that she was pissed and 'hurt' when she got served with court papers, but she left me with no choice. I'll be damned if I let someone take my son away from me. Even worse, she once asked if I was willing to give up all my rights as his father so that the guy she cheated on me with could take over.
06-20-2008, 04:48 PM
I was trying to be a nice guy in the beginning and waited on my ex to do her part in dropping the protection order, so that I could be with my son. She kept telling me lies and making up excuse after excuse. I knew the protection order was a ploy to keep my son and I apart, and to keep me from bashing her boy toy's skull in once again. I'm over her cheating, though. She's made a bad name for herself to a lot of people. This is about my son now, so I could care less about who she's fooling around with. I've tried being fair and negotiating, but she's determined to have everything go her way, even if family court disagrees. She's only gonna make more trouble for herself in the end. I've always decided that, once I work my way up to joint custody and get into Corrections later this fall, then I'm gonna file for sole custody. I'm gonna play dirty hardball. I'm done being the nice guy.
06-20-2008, 04:50 PM
I know that she's already off to a bad start in the eyes of family court. The judge won't take kindly to her violating his orders, but I'm sure she'll try making up some kind of an excuse. I do believe that, if I keep my cool, be patient, and continue doing things the way that I am, then this whole mess with work out in my favor, and my son and I will finally be able to be together.
06-20-2008, 04:55 PM
She filed a protection order at one point, so I got arrested and charged. About 2 weeks later, she showed up at my doorstep, crying and begging for me to take her back. She was pregnant with my son at the time, so I was concerned about their safety. Like a fool, but due to my instinct, I went with her. Her boy toy found out and called the state police. I got picked up. She argued with the cops, threw a fit, cried, etc. Saw me in court the next morning. She ran out crying once she saw me being escorted in, in shackles. That same day, she went on a road trip with her boy toy. She has done nothing at all to help me, but she'll expect me to stand up for her once the cops go after her ass.
Yes, without a doubt, she'd fight tooth and nail against me if I were to ever try keeping her from seeing our son. But you see; whenever I do something wrong, she'll use it against me and try doing whatever she can in her power to hurt me or punish me. Whenever she does something wrong, I'm supposed to suck it up, get over it, and allow her to go about her business.
06-20-2008, 04:56 PM
06-20-2008, 05:05 PM
I didn't want to start another thread to post this video. I found this video funny and was looking for a thread to post it in. Take no offense FDA guy, trying to lighten the mood a bit and maybe help you relax and laugh a little bit.
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.
06-20-2008, 05:10 PM
Says it's no longer available...
EDIT: It worked after I posted this.
What myself and many other people don't understand is this: How on earth can my son's mother look my son in the face every day, knowing he looks exactly like me, and not feel like total sh!t for what she's doing to him and I?
06-20-2008, 05:13 PM
06-20-2008, 06:06 PM
So if she can do this without you.. can she do it without your financial support as well?
I would consider withholding payment, but i WOULDNT do this bc it makes you look bad again. do whatever it takes to look high and mighty in the face of the law. Id do whatever it takes to be apart of you sons life. the worst part is that as he ages, Im sure she will make you out to be the devil. It kinda sucks bc you are putting so much time and effort into something to which she will continuously ruin as long as she can. Sorry to hear this man.
just curious.. how old are you/ her?
06-20-2008, 07:13 PM
I'd feel bad about it, but I'd want to see my kid too. None of us here should be trying to influence your decision imo. If you love the woman enough still to not want her in legal trouble, and also want to be able to have visitation rights, I hope you can convince her just to let you see your son without resistance on her part. I wish you good fortune in the matter.
06-20-2008, 09:11 PM
06-21-2008, 01:48 AM
Actually, I'm not paying child support. Not yet anyway. The paternity followup is on July 3rd, which is also when we'll be discussing child support. The notice in the mail requested that I bring evidence of pay stubs. Now, I'd like to fight back child support, only because her and her family were denying my family and myself complete access to seeing my son. If she is able to withhold him from me, then why can't I withhold the money? I'm also gonna try requesting copies of the receipts once I start paying child support. If there is any money left unaccounted for, then I'll have my lawyer bring it up in court. I want my money spent only on my son. Not on my ex for her to spend leisurely. She's just getting out of school for the summer, but she's not gonna wanna work, so she's gonna wanna take my money and spend it. Getting copies of receipts is a definite. I'm hoping she's planning on getting a summer job because summer is no excuse for not being able to work. She's no longer pregnant. I can watch after my son when she's at work. Simple as that. I'm sure that she'll try to find something wrong with that idea, though. Just to throw it in my face and laugh later on.
My ex has claimed several times that she can do this on her own. She has told me that my son isn't mine, as in, she wants me having nothing to do with him and he only belongs to her. She tries fighting with me as if our son is a possession, such as a car, instead of a human being with feelings. Her and her family have denied me total access, even after admitting and acknowledging me as the father. Still, her family never made an effort to allow him and I to meet or spend time together. She has asked me to give up my rights as the father and the list goes on. She can say anything negative in reference to me being a father and it hits me really hard. It hurts mentally and emotionally. It's funny how I'm the one who's facing so many consequences of everything going on and my ex is even able to get away with using my son against me, but yet, she's facing no consequences for anything she's doing. She cheated numerous times while pregnant with my son! Will family court not take that into consideration?
I called my lawyer today and got his secretary's answering machine. I left a message, but I guess they were out to lunch and I never got a call back. I think they're closed on the weekends. My lawyer was supposed to file a court order violation against my ex today since she's had the past 2 weeks to register for my supervised visitation, but has failed to do so.
My ex doesn't realize that our son, though he's an infant, is much smarter than she thinks. He's someday gonna ask questions about why his mother and I aren't together. If he asks and if he's old enough at the time, then I'm gonna try explaining everything to him. His mother can't deny any of it either. I have copies of her protection order, the court papers, police reports, etc. She found out she was pregnant and filed paperwork to keep me away! I'll be damned if I let her play mind games with my son and make him think that I was the bad guy in this whole situation when all I ever wanted was to be with him. She accuses me of wanting to do that just to make her look bad, but she also expects me to lie to my son and keep all of this from him. She can raise him how she wants when he's spending his time with her, but I'm gonna raise him the way I want to. How to be kind, respectful, considerate, loving, caring, a gentleman, etc.
Age. I do think this plays a major factor in my situation, though some people fail to see it. Some don't think it really matters. My son's mother turned 17 in January. I'll be turning 21 in August.
06-21-2008, 01:52 AM
My son wouldn't have been possible without my ex. He's the only great thing that came out of that relationship. I'll always care about her. My feelings for her have been blinded due to her way of handling this whole situation. I just don't know what to think of her anymore. Not at this point. I just still can't believe that she did all of this to me. Worst of all, her parents are helping coaching her, so it sometimes feels as if it's me against the world. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I've tried being the nice guy for as long as possible, but I just can't do it anymore. The only way that I was gonna be able to see my son was going through the courts because then my legal parenthood is established and my rights as a father are protected by a court of law. My ex is now under obligations, whatever the court decides. I clearly have no problem obeying the court, even if I may end up disagreeing with some of their decisions. All I know is that I'll fight to the death for my son. I really don't like the idea of dragging my ex into court all the time, but she has left me no choice. I'm not too big on the idea of calling the police and having her arrested either, but her and her family did the same thing to me. She never stepped up to help me. She is, however, breaking the law and still trying to make it difficult for my son and I to be together. Once again, she has left me no choice. She thinks her and her family are the only ones who can play dirty. I can actually be quite brutal, especially when it comes to being with my son and protecting him.
06-26-2008, 05:00 PM
I've made another difficult decision. I went to family court yesterday and filed a court order violation against my son's mother. I got granted supervised visitation over 2 weeks ago and followed up with the mediator several times since then. They've been keeping a log. My son's mother ended up contacting me online and flipped out. She said the police had just been at her house and served her, telling her that I had filed a petition and we not only have to go to court next Thursday, but on Wednesday as well. I don't know what excuse she's gonna try convincing the judge to believe, but 2 1/2 weeks is long enough for her to simply pick up the phone and call the mediator, so that I can begin seeing my son as soon as possible. She's really pissed off and I'm concerned, only because I know the judge in family court doesn't take too kindly to those who disobey his orders and I know what it feels like to be arrested, go to court, put in jail, etc. What possible consequences could my son's mother be facing?
06-26-2008, 05:56 PM
06-26-2008, 06:06 PM
You're MuscleGuyinNY aren't you? If I were you, I wouldn't tell everyone the same stories twice if you were trying to go around unnoticed.
06-26-2008, 06:07 PM
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