Family Court on Tuesday

[beefcake12901]

I had my ex served in regards to custody and visitation involving our son, but she had me served as well, after she had received my paperwork. I've been hearing that she has finals on Tuesday so she's not planning on going to court, but her lawyer is gonna represent her. I, however, will be going with my lawyer. Now, as far as I know, if you're the petitioner and you file a petition, but don't appear in court yourself, then your petition is dismissed. If you're the respondent and don't appear, then a warrant can be issued for your arrest. So, is she able to weasel her way out of this, or will there be some sort of consequence for her not appearing? She's not appearing because she has finals for school, but even so, she's been court ordered.

[Zero V]

Tough call on that one, I would say she could have asked the judge to move the date (seen it done before), but if no previous contact is made and she just doesnt show for school...Well I think it also shows her priorities. An Exam could also have been moved since she was court ordered the school has to allow it I believe.

Either way I hope you get what you want, and things are better off in the end for you.

[beefcake12901]

It does show what her priorities are, but I also think it makes her look kinda selfish. She seems to think that everything is going to work out in her favor. I don't know why, but our family court judge does tend to favor mothers. The school could've made special arrangements for her to take her final, but she was court order, and yes, the school would have to let her skip the exam and make it up. I'm not sure if she knows that she could be risking her chances so I'm gonna say nothing. We'll just have to see what her lawyer has to say to the judge and then we'll see what my lawyer says. I'm even getting out of work to go! I really hope the judge dismisses her petition that she filed against me. I'm curious to know if my lawyer could request a warrant be put out for her arrest. I respect that she cares about her education, but I'm more concerned about our son than her education. She plans on moving downstate to go to college next year after she graduates and she thinks she can just leave with our son, without my approval. She's trying to get sole custody and I'm just going for joint custody.

Tough call on that one, I would say she could have asked the judge to move the date (seen it done before), but if no previous contact is made and she just doesnt show for school...Well I think it also shows her priorities. An Exam could also have been moved since she was court ordered the school has to allow it I believe.

Either way I hope you get what you want, and things are better off in the end for you.

[Zero V]

It does show what her priorities are, but I also think it makes her look kinda selfish. She seems to think that everything is going to work out in her favor. I don't know why, but our family court judge does tend to favor mothers. The school could've made special arrangements for her to take her final, but she was court order, and yes, the school would have to let her skip the exam and make it up. I'm not sure if she knows that she could be risking her chances so I'm gonna say nothing. We'll just have to see what her lawyer has to say to the judge and then we'll see what my lawyer says. I'm even getting out of work to go! I really hope the judge dismisses her petition that she filed against me. I'm curious to know if my lawyer could request a warrant be put out for her arrest. I respect that she cares about her education, but I'm more concerned about our son than her education. She plans on moving downstate to go to college next year after she graduates and she thinks she can just leave with our son, without my approval. She's trying to get sole custody and I'm just going for joint custody.

No you misunderstood, I agree with you. By it shows her priorities i meant that she would rather go to school than be there while the fate, for the near future at least, of her child is decided. I hope the judge takes that as a show of how dedicated she is to being there for her child. Not very.

Sorry to hear he likes to favor, is it this tuesday coming up? If so I can say a prayer for you.

[beefcake12901]

It's this upcoming Tuesday, yes.

A prayer would be very helpful. I appreciate that, bro. It means a lot. I could use a prayer or two after everything that has happened in regards to this situation. It's been a rough ride.

I'm taking up a serious career opportunity in a couple of months. That's when I'll be laying low and filing for sole custody. I do fear for his safety around certain people in her family and certain people she associates with almost on a daily basis. I'll also make sure she can't leave the county with our son so she'll have to go downstate alone. She'll have to work while attending college, too, because I will request an order that she pay child support. Of course I'll give her visitation, which is no problem. I want my son to have a great relationship with his mother, but I have to do what I know is best for him. He's 5 months old next Thursday and I haven't met him once yet.

I hope the judge is having a good day and his head is on straight. From what I've heard about my lawyer, he's a real hardass in court and fights, tooth and nail. He represented a guy on felony probation and got the guy full custody of his daughter. Of course the guy proved that the mother was unfit, but I don't see that as being a problem.

No you misunderstood, I agree with you. By it shows her priorities i meant that she would rather go to school than be there while the fate, for the near future at least, of her child is decided. I hope the judge takes that as a show of how dedicated she is to being there for her child. Not very.

Sorry to hear he likes to favor, is it this tuesday coming up? If so I can say a prayer for you.

[Cuffs]

I think she is fine if he attorney is appearing on her behalf. The judge will probably go over a couple of issus and set a new court date.

Good luck with everything. Hope it turns out well, mainly for your son. It's going to be a long battle, even when this portion is over. I've been there before and it's not fun.

[Nightwanderer]

if you have an attorney yourself, you're far better off asking them than us, I would think.

[beefcake12901]

I was gonna hire a paid attorney, but decided to go with thee best court-appointed attorney for now. Later on this year, when I go for sole physical custody, I will be hiring the best paid attorney in upstate New York.

if you have an attorney yourself, you're far better off asking them than us, I would think.

[beefcake12901]

Even though her attorney will be appearing on her behalf, I'm hoping that something can be said or done about her not appearing. I filed a petition, she was served and court-ordered. She filed the same petition after me, I was served and court-ordered. I believe court orders override school, work, etc. Unless there was a death in the family, someone's ill, or something of that sort. After the way I've been treated throughout this whole situation, I know I'd have a warrant issued for my arrest and I'd be arrested for not appearing, even though I'm the original petitioner. There are a few different factors as to why she can't file petitions on her own and I believe those same factors will help me to win sole custody later this year. I'm not saying much to anyone about it. I'm just gonna hire one of the best attorneys around my area, file the petition, have her served, and randomly and unexpectedly (to her at least) take her to court and fight for sole custody. I may also end up hiring a P.I. to help strengthen my case. I don't have the time to follow her around, as a P.I. would, but it'd also protect me from getting charged for stalking or something.

What issues do you think the judge may bring up? I'm hoping he'll wanna hear some of what my lawyer and I have to say before adjourning the hearing. My son is almost 5 months old and I have yet to see him. It really pisses me off how everything keeps getting adjourned. I'm the one who's being treated unfairly and I do nothing wrong, but she can do whatever the hell she wants, ends up with no consequences, and everyone could care less. I'd really like the judge to hear about why I filed for a paternity test, etc. He needs to know the real story behind this whole entire situation so that he knows what he's dealing with. My ex, though she's not supposed to contact me, does so anyway and kisses my ass constantly. But I know that she'll act ruthless and evil towards me in that courtroom, only because she wants sole legal and physical custody.

I realize that my ex is gonna put up many fights and fronts, argue with future girl friends/wives, probably try prying into my personal life, and try making me miserable. It's everything she does now. She did the same things 2 years ago when we first met. I'm sure she'll always be this way. I think it pisses her off even more that I no longer respond or give in to her manipulation and control. I tell you what, though. It sure is a great feeling to break the chain and take all of that power away from somebody, the power they once had over you and your entire life. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be with my son, regardless of how miserable she makes me. My son's worth every ounce of pain that I'm going through and dealing with. I love him more than life itself and know that I will be the best father to the best of my ability. I know he's safest with me and my family, and I'm gonna look out for him. Sure, I want him to have a great relationship with his mother, but that's up to her, not me. He's gonna eventually someday ask about all of this and I'm not gonna lie to him or keep secrets from him. My ex, however, plans on doing so.

I think she is fine if he attorney is appearing on her behalf. The judge will probably go over a couple of issus and set a new court date.

Good luck with everything. Hope it turns out well, mainly for your son. It's going to be a long battle, even when this portion is over. I've been there before and it's not fun.

[beefcake12901]

I go to family court in less than an hour. I'm a little nervous. My ex is supposedly is not gonna be there since she's taking a final in school today, or so we've all been told. I'm hoping that the judge says something about her not being there, whether she's excused for school or not. I'm also hoping that I can get a lot of my side of the story out in the air. The paternity results may not be in today so that may be another reason for an adjournment besides my ex not appearing. She clearly doesn't care about myself and, most importantly, our son, especially since she seems to think school is more important than our son's well-being and present fate. If they don't put a warrant out for her arrest, then I hope they at least send the police to her school to pick her up and escort her to court. That'd scare the sh!t out of her and it'd embarrass her in front of all her friends. I'm not meaning to sound like an ass, but there is a point when you have to stop and say, 'enough is enough!'

I'll update this thread when I get back from family court. I'm hoping things work out for the best interest of my son.

If any of you have been through separations and custody battles, then I'd really appreciate your advice, prayers, etc. It'd mean a lot to me.

Thanks, AM. Some of the most thoughtful and intelligent people are on these forums. I'm very glad to be a member.

[Bum Mahoney]

Prayers sent. Hope things work out for the best.

[Nabisco]

Best of luck to you beefcake, sounds like an incredibly tough situation.

[Zero V]

I have been sending the prayers, now I am just waiting for you to give me a praise report

[beefcake12901]

I was granted supervised visitation right off the spot. My lawyer is a bad ass in court. I'm grateful for having such a successful, caring and intelligent lawyer. He tends to favor fathers and really fights for what you want. The next step will be visitation, any time, anywhere. I just need to see how the supervised visits go for a month or two.

[Nabisco]

Glad to hear things are on the right track beefcake. Once again, best of luck to you and your child.

[Bum Mahoney]

It's a start, right? Congrats. Happy for your son and you. Hopefully something can be worked out for everyone, but this is great news.
As a father I can't imagine what you've been going through. Enjoy and make the most of those visits bro!

[beefcake12901]

Thanks a lot, bro. I really do appreciate the support. It means everything to me and I know my son would appreciate it just as much.

Come to find out, my ex didn't have to show up since it was just an initial appearance. Her law guardian appeared and spoke on her behalf. I still think it makes me look somewhat better and more serious since I stopped at nothing to make sure I could be there.

My lawyer found it odd that my ex managed to file a custody petition about 11 minutes after me, but that's only because she saw me filling one out. This was back in April, but my lawyer had copies of the paperwork and is trying really hard to understand her way of thinking.

We were in court for about 5-10 minutes. My lawyer did most of the talking with the judge. The judge automatically granted me supervised visitation once my lawyer requested it. I have to go to a place called Family Connection. I'll get an hour each week for now. I think it's ridiculous, but it's better than nothing and, besides, my son and I are, unfortunately, total strangers to each other. I don't think the bonding will be a problem. I hope he senses and can tell that I'm his daddy. I registered with FC on Tuesday after court. They, in turn, contact my ex and leave her a message. We go back to court on July 3rd for a follow up hearing for paternity, but my lawyer told me to give my ex up until next Friday to register with FC. If she fails to do so, then I'm to contact him and he'll file a court order violation, which must mean a warrant will be put out for her arrest. I really hope she obeys the court order. I won't hesitate to call the police. I'll feel bad, but she got me arrested for violating the protection order. If she were to show up 5 minutes late to drop my son off to me, then that'd be 5 minutes less that week that him and I could spend together. I'm gonna cherish every minute with it and take this seriously.

Glad to hear things are on the right track beefcake. Once again, best of luck to you and your child.

[beefcake12901]

I'll always care about my son's mother because, without her, he wouldn't have been possible. He's the greatest gift and I finally know what true unconditional love feels like. I can't wait to finally hold him and see him look up at me. I'm very anxious and very excited, but I'm expecting meeting him for the very first time to be a very life-changing and emotional moment. This has been a long and rough ride, and I hope I never have to deal with such an ordeal ever again. I've never felt the hurt I have throughout the past almost year, but my son's worth every ounce of it that I go through. I really will do anything for him and have his best interest at heart.

Supervised visitation is definitely a start. My lawyer explained to me that my son and I need to get used to each other's way of things, our habits, and allow a bond to form. Next will be visitation whenever I want. Hopefully, after that will be joint custody. I just may go for sole custody someday, but that's to still be determined. My ex could make life much easier on our son and myself by dropping the protection order, but her parents run her life. They've been coaching her all this time.

It's a start, right? Congrats. Happy for your son and you. Hopefully something can be worked out for everyone, but this is great news.
As a father I can't imagine what you've been going through. Enjoy and make the most of those visits bro!

[tattoopierced1]

i feel for you man, i'm going through some crap with custody and have been for the past 8 months. Fathers arent given the same ticket as mothers, I have no clue why, as everything is "supposed" to be equal, but ask any father who has been through the court system, and they will tell you, equal it is not.

[beefcake12901]

Our current family court judge is a Republican. They're ideally known to be conservative. He believes in equality amongst parents, but secretly favors the mothers. However, he seems to have a lot of respect for my lawyer and gave in to my lawyer. The judge seems to still try understanding the situation. We go back for a paternity follow up on July 3rd and then a conference on August 15th. A criminal and family lawyer, William Meconi, is currently running for family court judge. He's a Democratic and then ideally are more liberal. Politics aside, I'm voting for Meconi. I know him personally and he's a very nice, successful and fair man. He'll make a great family court judge. Hell, he'll mostly lean in my favor than my ex's if her and I ever go back to family court. That may sound like I'm cheating the system or being an ass, but I have to look out for my son. I'll do anything for him. I'm not doing any of this to hurt his mother, though she'd disagree. She thinks the world is out to get her after what I've gone through.

I wish you luck with your situation, bro. It's definitely not easy. Just try being one step ahead. That's what I've been doing all of this time. My ex went about her business, going out, etc. I stayed in on countless nights, did research for family court, my legal rights as a father, how to persuade judges, what would work in court, etc. Being one step ahead of the other party will definitely help you in the long-run. It makes things much easier and run more smoothly, and it's always nice to catch your opponent off guard. Some family courts and judges are more honest than others, and others are just very gender-biased.

i feel for you man, i'm going through some crap with custody and have been for the past 8 months. Fathers arent given the same ticket as mothers, I have no clue why, as everything is "supposed" to be equal, but ask any father who has been through the court system, and they will tell you, equal it is not.