Bumper stickers

[DmitryWI]

People who think they know it all really annoy those of us who do.
Jesus loves me, this I know - that is why I don't drive slow!

Don't believe everything you think.

I'm schizophrenic and so am I.

I've heard about the evils of drinking beer, so I gave up reading.


When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.

I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian!

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last life, either!

My wife says I should get up and go to work, but the voices in my head say I should stay home and clean my guns.

If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

 

[DmitryWI]

When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

If there is no God, who always pops up that next Kleenex?

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.

The box said Windows 2000 or better. So I installed Linux.

Use the best: Linux for servers, Mac for graphics, Windows for Solitaire.

I plan to live forever. So far, so good!