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Brian5225

Brian5225

Active member
So this is wonderful... I've been planning a H-drol and PP bridge cycle for quite some time. I'm supposed to hit it early April. So the fiance and 2 1/2 year girlfriend tells me last night that she is afraid to marry me, and is afraid that she might not be happy. She thinks that she didnt get a chance to be in a serious relationship with someone else besides me to be sure that she's happy. So I'm not too motivated right now and I kinda feel wishywashy with me emotions right now. Think I should abandon the cycle or postpone it, or just go ahead?
 
Brian5225 said:
So this is wonderful... I've been planning a H-drol and PP bridge cycle for quite some time. I'm supposed to hit it early April. So the fiance and 2 1/2 year girlfriend tells me last night that she is afraid to marry me, and is afraid that she might not be happy. She thinks that she didnt get a chance to be in a serious relationship with someone else besides me to be sure that she's happy. So I'm not too motivated right now and I kinda feel wishywashy with me emotions right now. Think I should abandon the cycle or postpone it, or just go ahead?
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So what's going to happen from here with her ?
 
I'd say to hell with her, and put your energy into the cycle. Once she's said something like that, it likely means she has another person already in mind for the "serious relationship with someone else"
 
After 2.5 years and being engaged, to say that you are not sure and you might not be happy translates to:

'You are the only one I've dated, and there might be someone else out there better despite already knowing you for 2.5 years.'


That type of thinking will only cause problems later on down the line.
 
Damn man that really sucks. It all sounds a bit suss, like Easy said it kinda sounds like she has someone else in mind. If you cant hit your cycle at 100% intensity then leave it for another week or two until you can focus on it. Best thing to do is make the decision about her quickly so she doesn't drag it out into a continuing saga that women like to do.

You guys live together etc?
 
EasyEJL said:
I'd say to hell with her, and put your energy into the cycle. Once she's said something like that, it likely means she has another person already in mind for the "serious relationship with someone else"
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Exactly...
 
I say go forward as hard as it may be. You need to stay focused and have some where to go to relief all the anger and stress.
 
No, we don't live together.. It doesn't seem that there is someone else in mind, she's just getting really nervous... I don't know what to think with her. She said today that she just got really worried and whatnot, and she says she feels better after "getting it off her chest and talking to me about it". I just am not sure if its true. I'm not sure what to think with her sometimes. She says that she's afraid she won't be happy being with the same person for basically ever. And this is after making the plans and everything. I'm not sure what to think... She says she wants to stay with me and everything, just that she has worries or something along those lines.
 
I'm going through the same thing as you.

Keep your head on straight. I think the best thing you can do is focus on your lifting. Give it a week and you'll be wanting to hit the weights.
 
EasyEJL said:
I'd say to hell with her, and put your energy into the cycle. Once she's said something like that, it likely means she has another person already in mind for the "serious relationship with someone else"
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Amen. Toss her under the bus, because thats what she just did to you.

Roll on with your cycle, hit it hard, don't drink, just focus on the weights.

Give yourself about 6 months of this and you'll have another woman, just make sure she isn't stupid. :drunk:
 
Thank's guys... I appreciate the support. Looks like I'll head down the cycle road, get swole, and feel better about myself lol.
 
Brian5225 said:
It doesn't seem that there is someone else in mind, she's just getting really nervous...
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even if its not someone she really talks to or knows very well, trust me there is someone in mind. It might just be the guy who works at the starbucks, or something like that. But you don't make a statement like that after 2 years without having seen something you think "maybe is better and would make me happier"
 
Once a person in a relationship uses the term "I," trouble is in store. And now that she feels better, you're left with the weight on your shoulders. To hell with that! Let her go and see that the grass isn't always greener. You may just find out how strong you both are; and in the process, be better off in the long run.
 
In addendum she sounds like my exwife did before we got married.

Pretty soon she was spouting garbage like she wanted to date other people to 'make sure she really loved me'.

I still have no idea why I thought she would change.

Take it this way, anything someone does NOW, they will DO when you are married. Any flaws someone has NOW they will have when you are married. They will either subside slightly or get worse, but people are pretty much defined by the age of 5 of who they are going to be as adults. People do not change.
 
An affirmation of her commitment shouldn't need to come from somebody else, or experiencing different things. Gauging her commitment to you by banging somebody else is oxymoronical.

She doesn't seem like she's ready for commitment, and so be it. Let her slide, in an amicable way, and go full-on with your cycle. If she musters the maturity to reengage in this commitment, then, at that point, decide if you want to be with her; as, at this point, it seems you are on the wrong end of Cat-and-Mouse
Theory brotha.
 
Brian5225 said:
So this is wonderful... I've been planning a H-drol and PP bridge cycle for quite some time. I'm supposed to hit it early April. So the fiance and 2 1/2 year girlfriend tells me last night that she is afraid to marry me, and is afraid that she might not be happy. She thinks that she didnt get a chance to be in a serious relationship with someone else besides me to be sure that she's happy. So I'm not too motivated right now and I kinda feel wishywashy with me emotions right now. Think I should abandon the cycle or postpone it, or just go ahead?
Click to expand...

Do NOT marry this woman!!! You will regret it. If she is bringing this BS up now (which is good cause divorce is bad for everyone) this means she is having hardcore second thoughts!

I almost got married to a girl that said / did this the first time and thank the Lord Almighty I didn't. It's just not meant to be dood. It's sad, I know :(, but you will look back on this and be thankful once you meet your real lifetime love!

I did not marry that first one thanks to her and then met my current wife. We talked about getting married within three months of dating, got married within a year and have been together happily(of course we argue now and then / beat the living bejebus out of each other :thumbsup:) for six going on seven years.

Do it for love, happiness fluctuates..
 
Take this as a warning sign and don't get married.

Like the others said countless times, what she is really getting at is "There is another guy who I find myself attractive to and I think that he is a better fit for me"

Now this is not the frame of mind that you want in someone who is supposed to be your partner for life.

There is a very good chance that she is going to go and play the field a little bit. When she does she is going to find that the grass isn't greener and that she is essentially a vagina and some boobs to most other guys. Whereas you love her. So expect her to come back to you even more ready to get married.

DONT DO IT!

Let her go, there are plenty of women out there, and you have all of the time in the world brother. Men tend to get better looking with age, and women tend to peak between 18-25. The longer you stay single the better, in the sense that you will attract higher quality females.

Even if you are looking for love and not hookups this is still to your advantage. You will find a good girl and fall in love, just do yourself a favor and run away from this one. (unless of course the idea of losing half of your **** in 2-5 years sounds good to you)
 
Ehh... the memories. I was in an extremely serious relationship with what I thought was my "true love" and then she dropped the same bomb on me.

Don't try and stick this one out - You're gonna end up unhappy, depressed, unmotivated, and just an overall wreck. Sorry if that sounds bleak but I've been where you have been and tried to make her see how I felt about it. When a girl says this, she's pretty much already done with the relationship, at least mentally. Sure, she'll say everythings good right now. But the next time something goes wrong, it will be that problem, plus the fact that she "feels restrained/unfulfilled". This isn't over man - IT ONLY GETS WORSE FROM THIS POINT ON!!!

I'm really sorry if I'm bumming you out, I know this isn't what you'd like to hear. I didn't have people to warn me when it happened to me, so I'm trying to save you from a long time of sadness/anger/pain.

Just really think about it, if she was as in love with you, as you are with her, would she be having these feelings? I got dropped over a guy who "wanted to study for a test" after class, and this was after almost 3 years of a relationship. It sucks, its not fun, but if YOU are the one to end it, you won't have to feel the rejection that comes with being dropped for some dude with a nice smile.

Just an opinion from an ex-bleeding heart.
 
Hurleyboy05 said:
Ehh... the memories. I was in an extremely serious relationship with what I thought was my "true love" and then she dropped the same bomb on me.

Don't try and stick this one out - You're gonna end up unhappy, depressed, unmotivated, and just an overall wreck. Sorry if that sounds bleak but I've been where you have been and tried to make her see how I felt about it. When a girl says this, she's pretty much already done with the relationship, at least mentally. Sure, she'll say everythings good right now. But the next time something goes wrong, it will be that problem, plus the fact that she "feels restrained/unfulfilled". This isn't over man - IT ONLY GETS WORSE FROM THIS POINT ON!!!

I'm really sorry if I'm bumming you out, I know this isn't what you'd like to hear. I didn't have people to warn me when it happened to me, so I'm trying to save you from a long time of sadness/anger/pain.

Just really think about it, if she was as in love with you, as you are with her, would she be having these feelings? I got dropped over a guy who "wanted to study for a test" after class, and this was after almost 3 years of a relationship. It sucks, its not fun, but if YOU are the one to end it, you won't have to feel the rejection that comes with being dropped for some dude with a nice smile.

Just an opinion from an ex-bleeding heart.
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That's some cold shlt.
 
Hurleyboy05 said:
Ehh... the memories. I was in an extremely serious relationship with what I thought was my "true love" and then she dropped the same bomb on me.

Don't try and stick this one out - You're gonna end up unhappy, depressed, unmotivated, and just an overall wreck. Sorry if that sounds bleak but I've been where you have been and tried to make her see how I felt about it. When a girl says this, she's pretty much already done with the relationship, at least mentally. Sure, she'll say everythings good right now. But the next time something goes wrong, it will be that problem, plus the fact that she "feels restrained/unfulfilled". This isn't over man - IT ONLY GETS WORSE FROM THIS POINT ON!!!

I'm really sorry if I'm bumming you out, I know this isn't what you'd like to hear. I didn't have people to warn me when it happened to me, so I'm trying to save you from a long time of sadness/anger/pain.

Just really think about it, if she was as in love with you, as you are with her, would she be having these feelings? I got dropped over a guy who "wanted to study for a test" after class, and this was after almost 3 years of a relationship. It sucks, its not fun, but if YOU are the one to end it, you won't have to feel the rejection that comes with being dropped for some dude with a nice smile.

Just an opinion from an ex-bleeding heart.
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Explain more about this relationship.
 
Thanks for the advice guys... I appreciate it. And I think you guys are right. Hey, I treat her like a fkin princess and she is still wondering. Maybe she's gonna have to learn from her own losses... I'll see how this pans out. Thanks again guys. Sounds like it's an epidemic with women.
 
ReaperX said:
Explain more about this relationship.
Click to expand...

Alright Reaper, lets reopen this wound - Just kidding :)

I met this girl my first year of highschool and was immediately in love. I was her friend throughout all of highschool and finally worked up the courage to go after her my senior year. We dated through most of senior year and then all through our freshmen year of college. It was about half way through sophomore year that the shlt hit the fan. She began to get, i dunno, restless and always wanted to go out with her friends. I was fine with that, but when she got all pissed whenever I asked what she did (not in a grilling cop way, but like a "how was your night way") I started to get confused/concerned. Then when she switched her major to a different college halfway through the semester I really knew something was up. she was always a very steady student and didn't really change stuff unless she absolutely had too. So for her to just up and leave her classes/schedule/me I figured something was going on. I'd ask her and she'd tell me everything was cool and then when an argument would arise she'd just fly the fcuk off on me. Really weird.
Then one day she and I were at her place and she comes and wakes me up from and nap and says we need to talk. THE BOMB. She told me that "she loved me but felt like she hadn't been with enough guys to know what love really was". Needless to say I was shocked. I was always a great boyfriend - everyone told me/her/her parents/friends - everyone loved me. I always went out of my way to get her what she'd mention in passing, I would do the random boyfriend shlt without an argument, I really, like brian said, treated her like a princess. But I guess that wasn't enough.

So after almost 7 years of being friends, 3 of which we dated, I got dropped for some dude from her A&P class, who didn't end up doing anything for her but dropping her 4 days after nailing her (one of my buddies knows the guy) While I was stuck with the great question, "WHY?"

IMHO - girls are just straight fcuked up until they are like 27-30. Young chicks are just completely confused, and guys are usually so easy going, I think we end up pissing 'em off. I haven't really dated anyone seriously since out of fear of dealing with that shlt again, but I'm not anti-relationship. I am a skeptic though, especially when you look at the fact that "love" is only chemicals in your brain - nothing else. Alright, maybe I'm still a little pissed/nowhere near close enough to really trust a chick again in the near future. But it's because of 1 girl that I feel this way. Everyone just needs to be really careful in relationships - they can truly mess you up if you're not ready for the shlt they entail.
 
And before I get the "you're only 21 speech" you can't understand until you've actually been in this situation. Especially when you really want someone and FINALLY get a chance with them, just to have them walk all over you unexpectedly. Don't even start fellas! :D
 
Just curious how long ago was this ? It kinda sounds like she had a 'the grass is greener on the other side' view.

After 3 years, it seems like she might have gotten bored with the relationship and thought that she could do better.

Not targeting you out, but ppl in this age group are like this. Same thing happened to one of my buddies too.

Common rational would make you think being extremely nice is what would be the best.

Women seem to operate on an 'interest level', which entails the chase and change of a guy who does not treat them nice.


So after this went down, did she try and come back to you ? Ever end up finding out what happened after this ?
 
Whatever you do bro just be careful. Do what's right for you.
 
ReaperX said:
Just curious how long ago was this ? It kinda sounds like she had a 'the grass is greener on the other side' view.

After 3 years, it seems like she might have gotten bored with the relationship and thought that she could do better.

Not targeting you out, but ppl in this age group are like this. Same thing happened to one of my buddies too.

Common rational would make you think being extremely nice is what would be the best.

Women seem to operate on an 'interest level', which entails the chase and change of a guy who does not treat them nice.


So after this went down, did she try and come back to you ? Ever end up finding out what happened after this ?
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She may have very well gotten bored, I never actually found out what was her REAL reasoning besides "not knowing what love was". And if she ever did try and come back, I'll never know. I had to get a new cell phone because my contract ended, so I got a new number. I also ended up switching to a new college, and I never really heard about her after the "New Guy" dropped her. Who knows. I wouldn't have given her the chance to talk to me really, I don't have much respect for fickle, unemotional people these days - lifes too short. Oh and this was about a year and a half ago (actually happened 10 days before xmas 2006) Needless to say, not my best christmas ever.
 
Hurleyboy05 said:
Alright Reaper, lets reopen this wound - Just kidding :)

I met this girl my first year of highschool and was immediately in love. I was her friend throughout all of highschool and finally worked up the courage to go after her my senior year. We dated through most of senior year and then all through our freshmen year of college. It was about half way through sophomore year that the shlt hit the fan. She began to get, i dunno, restless and always wanted to go out with her friends. I was fine with that, but when she got all pissed whenever I asked what she did (not in a grilling cop way, but like a "how was your night way") I started to get confused/concerned. Then when she switched her major to a different college halfway through the semester I really knew something was up. she was always a very steady student and didn't really change stuff unless she absolutely had too. So for her to just up and leave her classes/schedule/me I figured something was going on. I'd ask her and she'd tell me everything was cool and then when an argument would arise she'd just fly the fcuk off on me. Really weird.
Then one day she and I were at her place and she comes and wakes me up from and nap and says we need to talk. THE BOMB. She told me that "she loved me but felt like she hadn't been with enough guys to know what love really was". Needless to say I was shocked. I was always a great boyfriend - everyone told me/her/her parents/friends - everyone loved me. I always went out of my way to get her what she'd mention in passing, I would do the random boyfriend shlt without an argument, I really, like brian said, treated her like a princess. But I guess that wasn't enough.

So after almost 7 years of being friends, 3 of which we dated, I got dropped for some dude from her A&P class, who didn't end up doing anything for her but dropping her 4 days after nailing her (one of my buddies knows the guy) While I was stuck with the great question, "WHY?"

IMHO - girls are just straight fcuked up until they are like 27-30. Young chicks are just completely confused, and guys are usually so easy going, I think we end up pissing 'em off. I haven't really dated anyone seriously since out of fear of dealing with that shlt again, but I'm not anti-relationship. I am a skeptic though, especially when you look at the fact that "love" is only chemicals in your brain - nothing else. Alright, maybe I'm still a little pissed/nowhere near close enough to really trust a chick again in the near future. But it's because of 1 girl that I feel this way. Everyone just needs to be really careful in relationships - they can truly mess you up if you're not ready for the shlt they entail.
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Nice Post man!:thumbsup:
 
Thanks a lot guys. You know, the older I get, the more fickle I see women as. I mean I've been cheated on 4 fkin times. And most of my friends have been cheated on. I see more women cheat on guys for the sole purpose of being bored, than I see men cheating. And I know the feeling HB, when you don't want to trust a woman. Thanks for the support guys.
 
Brian5225 said:
Thanks a lot guys. You know, the older I get, the more fickle I see women as. I mean I've been cheated on 4 fkin times. And most of my friends have been cheated on. I see more women cheat on guys for the sole purpose of being bored, than I see men cheating. And I know the feeling HB, when you don't want to trust a woman. Thanks for the support guys.
Click to expand...


4 times.


That's cold shlt right there.
 
Brian5225 said:
Thanks a lot guys. You know, the older I get, the more fickle I see women as. I mean I've been cheated on 4 fkin times. And most of my friends have been cheated on. I see more women cheat on guys for the sole purpose of being bored, than I see men cheating. And I know the feeling HB, when you don't want to trust a woman. Thanks for the support guys.
Click to expand...

Funny story, me and most of my friends have been cheated on as well. Small world. I blame MTV and Dawson's Creek.
 
Brian5225 said:
Thanks a lot guys. You know, the older I get, the more fickle I see women as. I mean I've been cheated on 4 fkin times. And most of my friends have been cheated on. I see more women cheat on guys for the sole purpose of being bored, than I see men cheating. And I know the feeling HB, when you don't want to trust a woman. Thanks for the support guys.
Click to expand...

Do yourself a favour and read "The Game" by Neil Strauss. It will change your view on women completely.Its my new bible. He has a way of making you think you are the man. Has done wonders for my confidence and im not afraid to admit it.
 
Great. I called her to talk to her about it, because I wanted to discuss things in a diplomatic manner and she threw a b!tch fit claiming that I was freaking out about it and she wishes she never said anything, even though I've been really understanding about it. Then she say's she was just being moody and I should be understanding. goddammit fck women I'm sick of this sh!t.
 
Brian5225 said:
Great. I called her to talk to her about it, because I wanted to discuss things in a diplomatic manner and she threw a b!tch fit claiming that I was freaking out about it and she wishes she never said anything, even though I've been really understanding about it. Then she say's she was just being moody and I should be understanding. goddammit fck women I'm sick of this sh!t.
Click to expand...

Oh man... I SO don't miss those conversations. My sympathies Brian.
 
Brian5225 said:
Great. I called her to talk to her about it, because I wanted to discuss things in a diplomatic manner and she threw a b!tch fit claiming that I was freaking out about it and she wishes she never said anything, even though I've been really understanding about it. Then she say's she was just being moody and I should be understanding. goddammit fck women I'm sick of this sh!t.
Click to expand...


Told ya :)

My girlfriend of 4 years recently took off from me too. And I also have no friends. So If anyone wants to message me, I could use a friend right now. We'll talk about lifting and ****. hahahahah /sob

no really though. :(
 
Brian5225 said:
Great. I called her to talk to her about it, because I wanted to discuss things in a diplomatic manner and she threw a b!tch fit claiming that I was freaking out about it and she wishes she never said anything, even though I've been really understanding about it. Then she say's she was just being moody and I should be understanding. goddammit fck women I'm sick of this sh!t.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I've come to the conclusion that all women are mentally deranged to some extent. There are many subtle levels. You just have to find one that is on one of the lower levels. Above all else, honesty is the quality that I find most important. Everything else can be worked around. If my fiance said some sh!t like this, I think I would have to drop her. I say this because there may be something deeper going on. Don't dismiss this as a mood swing. This was thought about to some level of detail before anything was said. A few months ago, my woman was acting strange. Saying strange things, and I couldn't really find a reason. A few weeks later, we found out she was pregnant. Those early pregnancy hormones can be quite bizarre. Just a thought.
 
EasyEJL said:
I'd say to hell with her, and put your energy into the cycle. Once she's said something like that, it likely means she has another person already in mind for the "serious relationship with someone else"
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Consider yourself lucky. She could have done this a few years after you married her - and then you would have had to pay her, while she has her little love fest.

Do the cycle.
 
Hmmm well I think all men are slightly deranged! ;)

She very well may have some fears, I'm not sure how old either of you are. She may have met someone else. The only one that truly knows is her.

I would maybe suggest finding a way to talk that won't set her off..lol Tell her you love her and its made you worried. That you want to both be happy and you need to know if something needs to change to make things better. Or if its something that can't be fixed. If she thinks she might want to be single? Or if maybe you need some plans in place to len security to the relationship. I know you said fiancee, so have you guys lived together before you actually commit to marriage?

I think maybe set up plans in place to move forward if she says that she wants to stay would maybe reassure her. Only you can decide if she is worth going through all this. But a talk to get you both on the same page would be best.
 
Australian made said:
There the ones you want!

"Are you sure about this?"

"yes trust me, its great for your complexion":run:
Click to expand...
:lol::lol::lol:
Well just not real stupid. Just kinda dumb enough to believe the **** YOU tell her.

And not smart enough to ask why there is a red light coming from the shoe box you placed on the dresser just before you had sex with her.
 
LilPsychotic said:
......... Those early pregnancy hormones can be quite bizarre. Just a thought.
Click to expand...

That aint no sh1t. My girl is still faithful, and loyal, she just got kinda dumb, forgetful and clumsy as hell. Shes fun to tease, and can't take much of it, but she's definitely changed.
 
Well whatever the case, I'm not sure what to do about her just yet. You know, I'm not sexist in any way whatsoever, and I have been commented on that I show a very large amount of respect to women. But I have noted that almost everything inflicted on me has been from women. My mother abandoned me, my stepmother abused me, I've been cheated on 4 friggin times, and now this shlt. Like I said, I am not sexist, but I think it's time to start shying away from the root of most of my problems.
 
Hurleyboy05 said:
Alright Reaper, lets reopen this wound - Just kidding :)

I met this girl my first year of highschool and was immediately in love. I was her friend throughout all of highschool and finally worked up the courage to go after her my senior year. We dated through most of senior year and then all through our freshmen year of college. It was about half way through sophomore year that the shlt hit the fan. She began to get, i dunno, restless and always wanted to go out with her friends. I was fine with that, but when she got all pissed whenever I asked what she did (not in a grilling cop way, but like a "how was your night way") I started to get confused/concerned. Then when she switched her major to a different college halfway through the semester I really knew something was up. she was always a very steady student and didn't really change stuff unless she absolutely had too. So for her to just up and leave her classes/schedule/me I figured something was going on. I'd ask her and she'd tell me everything was cool and then when an argument would arise she'd just fly the fcuk off on me. Really weird.
Then one day she and I were at her place and she comes and wakes me up from and nap and says we need to talk. THE BOMB. She told me that "she loved me but felt like she hadn't been with enough guys to know what love really was". Needless to say I was shocked. I was always a great boyfriend - everyone told me/her/her parents/friends - everyone loved me. I always went out of my way to get her what she'd mention in passing, I would do the random boyfriend shlt without an argument, I really, like brian said, treated her like a princess. But I guess that wasn't enough.

So after almost 7 years of being friends, 3 of which we dated, I got dropped for some dude from her A&P class, who didn't end up doing anything for her but dropping her 4 days after nailing her (one of my buddies knows the guy) While I was stuck with the great question, "WHY?"

IMHO - girls are just straight fcuked up until they are like 27-30. Young chicks are just completely confused, and guys are usually so easy going, I think we end up pissing 'em off. I haven't really dated anyone seriously since out of fear of dealing with that shlt again, but I'm not anti-relationship. I am a skeptic though, especially when you look at the fact that "love" is only chemicals in your brain - nothing else. Alright, maybe I'm still a little pissed/nowhere near close enough to really trust a chick again in the near future. But it's because of 1 girl that I feel this way. Everyone just needs to be really careful in relationships - they can truly mess you up if you're not ready for the shlt they entail.
Click to expand...

damn bro, pretty much just crushed my chances at true love... now i think my girl will change her mind lol... **** what to do... jk =]
 
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