[Dr Packenwood]

Originally Posted by Hurleyboy05

Well, theres that old saying, "Nice guys finish last." Actually it isn't that far off. I learned after my experience that being the nice guy makes girls "like you" but being semi-standoffish or kinda cocky (not too much of an assh0le) and they seem to "want you". It all comes down to the people involved though, what works with one chick, doesn't always, and more than likely won't work with another. You just gotta find one that'll blend well and put up with you for awhile, then maybe she might start to actually care for you.

Women are like guy in the respect that they want what they think they can't have. Its the game in them to try to get what they want.

I've been able to get a girl away from her date out at the clubs before. Just by doing a few little things, but specifically by not mobbing her. Women are fickle, but if you can get it figured out the chase is kind of fun. Its like fishing. Got to find what technique works for what you're trying to land.

[EasyEJL]

lots of it is age too. Sadly we probably aren't best suited mentally to start long term relationships till we are in our late 30s (and to be able to raise children well till we are in our 40s) but the biological imperatives cause us to start way earlier.

Not that everyone older is more mature, plenty manage to just age. But the odds are better.

[Hurleyboy05]

Originally Posted by EasyEJL

Not that everyone older is more mature

Just take a look at Easy!

[ReaperX]

There are 2 things that need to be taken a look at:


1. Are you looking for a comitted relationship ?
2. Or are you just looking for 'play' ?


The 'player' type approach will get you #2.

The 'nice guy' approach will get you #1.

Realistically, #1 does not have a good success rate till you are old (40+)

[Brian5225]

See, I've always wanted a committed relationship. Playing boosts my self-esteem and confidence, and so does flirting, but I haven't really had the good feeling of security and satisfaction unless its been in a committed relationship. I don't know why, but playing makes me feel good, it just leaves me feeling empty in the end if you know what I mean. I guess maybe I need to change my mindset or something.

[crader]

Originally Posted by Brian5225

See, I've always wanted a committed relationship. Playing boosts my self-esteem and confidence, and so does flirting, but I haven't really had the good feeling of security and satisfaction unless its been in a committed relationship. I don't know why, but playing makes me feel good, it just leaves me feeling empty in the end if you know what I mean. I guess maybe I need to change my mindset or something.

Honestly you don't..you just need to find someone who wants the same things you do. I've been cheated on and played by guys as well. Its just a sad part of weeding out the people who are not for you.

I know plenty of women who want commited relationships. Sadly the heart and the head are not always in sync. You can love someone and it makes you blind to their faults, or you hope they change. So you stay too long and you get hurt. Their fault? Or yours? But when the right person comes along then it makes it worth it. I get tired of the women bashing because just as many men are players... Give it time and keep your eyes open, it will all work out.

[Brian5225]

I apologize if I offended you, but it puts me in a bad position. I have done nothing but give respect to women my whole life. I am respectful, cordial, and have been accused of being chivalrous (if it should be called an accusation lol). And yet I have yet to find a single woman to treat me right. I get cheated on, and treated like dirt. Even my fiance, for most of our relationship she's been somewhat repectful and treated me well. But sometimes it truly comes out, even when I remain calm.

I'm not saying that there is no such thing as men players, thats a naive statement, what I'm saying is through what I have seen, the guys who really want to do right by a woman, get treated the worst. The guys that most women call "keepers" do their best, give it their all, and get stabbed in the back. And I don't believe PUA's are just born. They have to get into a mindset that makes them not care any more. And I can almost bet you anything that most any PUA has had a turning point. Maybe some won't admit it, but its probably happened. Most of the time from what I've seen, they get played repeatedly by women, even when they meant to give those women everything. So they give up on trying to find a meaningful relationship, and go for what they may feel women are good for-sex and not much else. Like I said before, I'm not sexist, and that's not my view, but I can see how someone may come to that conclusion. And I know that there are probably plenty of women out there that would be loyal, caring, honest, and determined people, but from what I've seen, the others definately outnumber the keepers.

[Brian5225]

And I apologize to anyone that that may offend, but I am struggling as hard as I can not to become bitter over everything, and not to become sexist. It's a hard position for any person to be in, especially if they have a high respect and view upon the group of people who treat them the worst.

[EasyEJL]

I can't imagine that you offended anyone, you are in a rough and painful spot right now, not of your own choosing.

[crader]

You didn't offend me. Just remember to keep your perspective so you don't lower yourself to become those you despise...If you allow it to sour you then what happens if you do meet the girl thats right but you have changed the good things and she passes you by?

Let me just say this..I was beaten and raped at 16yrs old. I fought to keep it from changing me. If I had I would be worthless at relationships. I have been cheated on and hurt since then. Most of the guys left me because they didn't want commitment and it freaked them out to be treated right...well guess what? As much as it hurt, they were not the right ones for me. So I pushed on and on until it did work for me. Just like bodybuilding being a hard thing to mantain, but being worth the effort if you do it. Relationships are the same..you have to keep at it and make sure you keep your morals and integrity, you owe it to the people who will love you for it.

[roehrigs01]

Originally Posted by EasyEJL

I'd say to hell with her, and put your energy into the cycle. Once she's said something like that, it likely means she has another person already in mind for the "serious relationship with someone else"

exactly

[Australian made]

Originally Posted by Brian5225

I apologize if I offended you, but it puts me in a bad position. I have done nothing but give respect to women my whole life. I am respectful, cordial, and have been accused of being chivalrous (if it should be called an accusation lol). And yet I have yet to find a single woman to treat me right. I get cheated on, and treated like dirt. Even my fiance, for most of our relationship she's been somewhat repectful and treated me well. But sometimes it truly comes out, even when I remain calm.

I'm not saying that there is no such thing as men players, thats a naive statement, what I'm saying is through what I have seen, the guys who really want to do right by a woman, get treated the worst. The guys that most women call "keepers" do their best, give it their all, and get stabbed in the back. And I don't believe PUA's are just born. They have to get into a mindset that makes them not care any more. And I can almost bet you anything that most any PUA has had a turning point. Maybe some won't admit it, but its probably happened. Most of the time from what I've seen, they get played repeatedly by women, even when they meant to give those women everything. So they give up on trying to find a meaningful relationship, and go for what they may feel women are good for-sex and not much else. Like I said before, I'm not sexist, and that's not my view, but I can see how someone may come to that conclusion. And I know that there are probably plenty of women out there that would be loyal, caring, honest, and determined people, but from what I've seen, the others definately outnumber the keepers.

I like the use of PUA. You'l bew fine my friend. Just get some sarging under your belt

[Brian5225]

Originally Posted by crader

You didn't offend me. Just remember to keep your perspective so you don't lower yourself to become those you despise...If you allow it to sour you then what happens if you do meet the girl thats right but you have changed the good things and she passes you by?

Let me just say this..I was beaten and raped at 16yrs old. I fought to keep it from changing me. If I had I would be worthless at relationships. I have been cheated on and hurt since then. Most of the guys left me because they didn't want commitment and it freaked them out to be treated right...well guess what? As much as it hurt, they were not the right ones for me. So I pushed on and on until it did work for me. Just like bodybuilding being a hard thing to mantain, but being worth the effort if you do it. Relationships are the same..you have to keep at it and make sure you keep your morals and integrity, you owe it to the people who will love you for it.

That's a serious struggle to overcome. I'm feeling a little better about everything thinking about being on my own. I seem to feel better about it when I'm in a social atmosphere and around other people... But that is more than anyone should ever have to go through Crader. Aren't you married to someone on this board now?

[crader]

Originally Posted by Brian5225

That's a serious struggle to overcome. I'm feeling a little better about everything thinking about being on my own. I seem to feel better about it when I'm in a social atmosphere and around other people... But that is more than anyone should ever have to go through Crader. Aren't you married to someone on this board now?

Yes, Dsade. I'm a little more wary of my surroundings but that is all. I've learned that you can't hold all guys responsible. There are good and bad. Its like shopping in that it takes awhile to get the perfect fit.