Quotes to be said

  1. Quotes to be said


    Not much intro here. I have a tendency to think up obscure quotes, and like to ponder the situations in which such a quote would ever be said. I'll bump this thread when I come up with more.


    "What?! The Mighty Ducks 3 was a terrible hockey film. I don't even want to get in your pants anymore, after hearing you say that."

    "Think of it like a box of 1979 Cheerios, you have to dig all they way down to the bottom if you ever want to find the Star Wars Figurine."


    "Yeah, the word for that is Palindrome. Now I'm gonna go off on a limb here and guess that's also your father's name, and he's either a Mechanic, Carpenter, or Plumber."

    "I guess that explains why Barbie never had any kids."
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  2. I've said a few things...but I don't know if they are worthy...

    Here's the most recent.

    My little sister brags that she was the only one that was married when she conceived. Then I say "Yeah, well, you were a mistake" My mom interjects with 'No she wasn't!" and I say, "Yeah, well, I mean in retrospect...."

  3. I tend to say a bunch of useless stuff but my players get a kick out this thing I said, it's actually video taped and I'm somewhat ashamed that the parents got to see their child's coach say this.

    Here's what I said after a big win: " **** yeah baby ! I ****in love winning ! Winning is the closest thing to ****in your lady ! " If I knew I was being videotaped it would have come out different LOL.
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  4. I must admit Sinner you make me LOL on a daily basis. All the rest of these are Golden!

    Sorry I don't have anything funny to add but if I think of something I'll let you know....oh maybe

    I'm a gamer so in game chat for unreal tournament 2k4 I would say stuff like

    "There's nothing wrong with playing naked on a plastic covered chair slathered in baby oil"

    or

    "Hey <insert a$$hole players name here> why do you have two daddies"

    or

    "it's not ghey if it pays the rent"

    Sigh...I fail....

  5. its only gay if you push back.

  6. Quote Originally Posted by Dr Packenwood View Post
    I've said a few things...but I don't know if they are worthy...

    Here's the most recent.

    My little sister brags that she was the only one that was married when she conceived. Then I say "Yeah, well, you were a mistake" My mom interjects with 'No she wasn't!" and I say, "Yeah, well, I mean in retrospect...."
    Is your little sister the youngest? Ever wonder why there's not a sibling younger than her?
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  7. Quote Originally Posted by thesinner View Post
    Is your little sister the youngest? Ever wonder why there's not a sibling younger than her?
    She's the youngest, and she's a terror. Me and my older sister are mild as hell, and my little sister will step on anyone she can to get ahead. She sells realestate for a living, so the ****in shoe fits.

    Cantankerous, kiniving, greedy woman she is. Although her daughter is one of the most awesome adorable 3 year olds I've ever met. I hope the ambiguous mass of embryonic cells festering in my girlfriends uterus is as cute at that age.

    Actually my parents wanted all of us, which is a rarety, and we were all planned. So far 1 out of 4 grand kids have been planned, with mine being the latest, and me being the last to have children. I guess I'm a little too laid back. :burg:

  8. "I'd bang her so hard it knocks her out. Then I'd draw stuff on her with a sharpie."

    I had another one, but I can't think of it at the moment.
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  9. i just read through about 10 pages of quotes from Ari Gold of Entourage.......he is simply unbeatable

  10. Me: Why would a guy have a lower back tattoo?
    Brad: Cause he's a pillow biter.

    Dad: It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask permission.

    Willis: I bet he was a good dancer 40 pounds ago.

    Richard: I stopped up the handicap bathroom the other night...next day there was a sign saying "out of order" outside it. That's the best thing that has happened in college.
    "I am legally blind and if I can Squat,deadlift and over all get myself to the gym then anyone can get their a$$ in gear and get strong!!" - malleus25
    WHITE WHALE!

  11. "That's hotter then socks on a rooster."

    " Their work ethic would be admiral if it wasn't so crazy.:
    ~ Nothing can kill the Grimace!!



  12. "If I knew it was going to be this kind of party I'd a stuck my d!ck in the mashed potatoes!"
    "I am legally blind and if I can Squat,deadlift and over all get myself to the gym then anyone can get their a$$ in gear and get strong!!" - malleus25
    WHITE WHALE!

  13. Chick # 1: Are you two guys brothers ?

    My uncle: Something like that.

    Chick # 2: What do you mean something like that ?

    My uncle: It's a long and complicated story.

    Chick # 1: Huh ?

    Me: My dad ****ed his sister, that's how we're related

    The shocked, yet intrigued look in their face was priceless

  14. There is no sense in being pessimistic. It would not work anyway.

    Women: can't live with them, pass the beer nuts.

    You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

    Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
    Recent log:http://anabolicminds.com/forum/supplement-reviews-logs/213350-lean-efx-refined.html

  15. "You aren't going to have sex with him tonight. My boy would've texted me to grab the video camera and hide in the bushes by now."

    "Listen honey, I don't have a tongue ring, I don't suck ****, I don't know what it's like, and to be quite honest, I don't want to know."
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  16. Quote Originally Posted by Iron Warrior View Post
    I tend to say a bunch of useless stuff but my players get a kick out this thing I said, it's actually video taped and I'm somewhat ashamed that the parents got to see their child's coach say this.

    Here's what I said after a big win: " **** yeah baby ! I ****in love winning ! Winning is the closest thing to ****in your lady ! " If I knew I was being videotaped it would have come out different LOL.

    LOL.

  17. "Looks like your candy fell out. There's a gaping huge hole in your pocket."

    "Wait a second, that's not Twizlers."
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  18. "If you go to the gym to succeed, you're doing it wrong"

    " The gym is where you can completely fail and it counts as success"

  19. Quote Originally Posted by neoborn View Post
    "If you go to the gym to succeed, you're doing it wrong"

    " The gym is where you can completely fail and it counts as success"
    however, totally blowing it is reserved for the porn industry.
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  20. "Is is hot in here? I'm sweating worse than a pedophile at recess."

  21. Quote Originally Posted by ozarkaBRAND View Post
    "Is is hot in here? I'm sweating worse than a pedophile at recess."
    While I'll agree there's a fluid excretion of some sort, I don't think it's sweat.
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  22. "I was turned off a little when you mentioned I have the same name as your father, your persistance to talk about it for 20 minutes thereafter has only seemed to make things worse. The next time I gotta hide a salami, I'll think back to this past conversion, question whether or not you have or ever will get over your obvious Electra's Complex and the hardness."

    "Why would I want your phone number? That would imply I would enjoy talking to you at a later point in time, and not be able to even see you. Not gonna lie, between looking at and talking to you.....I'm breakin' even here. Have your phone number? That's a lose-lose situation right there, sweetie."
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  23. I've either heard these or spoken them. Just some quick one-liners.

    "Be back in a bit dude, going to watch Spice World"

    "If you're lucky, I'll let you into the new clan I started"

    "My hip! **** the world!"

    "I'm the Jell-O Man"

    ("Ferds man, what happened up here?

    I dunno man, I was trying to get some pop but I couldn't figure out the trick cup.

    What trick cup?

    *pokes cup to make sure*

    Jordan, this ****ing cup is upside down")

    "Jack, stop ****ing spooning me"

    "Come check out my blog later to see how much of a ***** you were"

    "Hey Sonic, nice hair bud"

    "Ahh buddy this basil is mad"

    "I'd cut my labia out and eat it"

  24. Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys, 5th season I think....

    "LETS STOP TALKING AND GET THIS DIRTY **** SUCKER IN THE AIR!"...pointing to his model rocket.
  

  
 

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