#829456 +(1771)- [X]
<TB> I was depressed last night so I called the Suicide Life Line.
<TB> I reached a call center in Pakistan.
<TB> I told them I was suicidal.
<TB> They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck
#829034 +(1152)- [X]
CaptainMoonpie2: Working on a report
CaptainMoonpie2: Tell me why welfare is bad
CaptainMoonpie2: But in a really, really long explanation that is easy to copy and paste
IMADV82: Because people like me end up paying for people like your mom to raise people like you.
#826453 +(1208)- [X]
<cannibal> Im playing tetris, and why won't the square pieces spin like the others?
#823214 +(4841)- [X]
<Cyan> Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the ***got.
<Cyan> Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the ****ing **** out of him.
<Cyan> So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he ****ing had:
<Cyan> 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
<dan> Dude, you ****ing killed McGuyver!
#819217 +(598)- [X]
<Dark_Fox> Wheee.. Hooray for USB2.0's slow ass read/write bandwidth
<Dark_Fox> I get to watch my mod compile at the blazing speed of a snail
<Zail_Dark> snails are interesting
<Dark_Fox> I don't think they make for good eats, though
<Zail_Dark> what if it were a giant snail that was eating you?
<Dark_Fox> then i would be in soviet russia
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he ****ing KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a ****
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh ****... if i were taking a **** and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to **** him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he ****ing SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER