Strange stories of the E.R.........

[Trauma1]

Well mrs. gimpy had a good idea that i start a thread dedicated to all the strange stories that i, and all of you have encountered in healthcare. Unfortunately now i have to go to work, but maybe i'll have another story by days end. So for all of you healthcare workers with a story to share lets hear them.....

 

[Mrs. Gimpy!]

yay!:woohoo:


hm... i'll start.

one time we had this patient who came in for a cleaning and she had this roundish redish mark towards the back of her throat... when questioned (it could also be a sign of sexual abuse) she was just freaky

 

[Iron Warrior]

Keep 'em coming :cheers:

 

[greenwing7]

I had a young lady flashing me (totally naked!) when I was down in the ER one night before they took her to the psych ward... now thats a great place to pick up chicks

 

[Mrs. Gimpy!]

hm, my friend had a woman who just got breast implants, pull her boobs out of her shirt so she could get an opinion from the hygienist about how they looked and felt, all while sitting in the dental chair (not a very private place at all)

 

[Mrs. Gimpy!]

I had a young lady flashing me (totally naked!) when I was down in the ER one night before they took her to the psych ward... now thats a great place to pick up chicks

psych ward ... oh man haha

 

[revodrew]

hm, my friend had a woman who just got breast implants, pull her boobs out of her shirt so she could get an opinion from the hygienist about how they looked and felt, all while sitting in the dental chair (not a very private place at all)

Sign me up to work in that office!!ose:

 

[greenwing7]

yeah the psych ward is a blast to go to you never know what old lady is going to try and take you home, what someone will throw at you, or who thinks you might be the devil and try to kill you... keeps you on your toes for sure

 

[jonny21]

Had a guy that found his lover with another man so he swallowed screws, nails & bolts. He was a "one on one" but still managed to swallow various other objects during his admission. The final one being a fork. Needless to say he was d/c'd to a psych facility.

 

[thesinner]

subscribed.

Let me know if anyone ever had a guy Life Flighted from New York with a shattered pelvis.

 

[motive]

oh where do i begin???

ive already in another thread talked about the preacher that had a dead cat stuck to his wee wee.
i had an old man, about 70, take his left eye out with a fork and stick it in a mayo jar. when asked why he simply said his eye drops werent working. (pysch ward)
personal favorite.... this guy came in shot twice. while getting his vitals he told me he would pay me to go get the drugs out of his house. he tried handing me about 2000 dollars in cash without anyone seeing it. ofcourse i didnt do anything. the next day on the news there he was. they found 2 bodies in his house but no drugs.

stories about picking women up at the e.r.
one very pretty chick was hitting on me sayin she wants me to come home and take care of her.... i asked why she was here. she replied " i just had a miscarriage in the toilet" mood breaker
also, older patient called her daughters to come up to the er to meet me. she said i would be perfect for one of them. she told me her daughter was 19. i took her on a date and about 30 minutes later the truth came out. the mom lied to me about her daughters age. she was only 15.

 

[CDB]

Not quite ER, but my dad flipped out on some meds after a heart operation and swore there was a pterodactyl outside his window trying to kill him. After visiting hours he disconnected all his tubes and wires and managed to raid a food cabinet and ate a ****load of oreos. They changed his meds and he was fine.

 

[kabuki]

subscribed. wish i had some stories to add.

 

[Trauma1]

Alright guys i thought of another story....some of you may have actually heard of this one. Last year sometime during the summer in tampa i had a trauma alert that i was getting a man shot twice in the lower body. Well, it turns out that this guy was a pizza delivery driver. Apparently, someone had him deliver to a vacant house and waited in the bushes to mug him when he went to the door....to make a long story short there was a struggle and the pizza guy got shot twice, once in the upper right thigh, once in the lower left leg.....both through and through wounds. This numb nuts got back in his car bleeding all over the place and STILL DELIVERED eight more pizza's. It wasn't until one of his customers called the cops that he came to the hospital.....talk about a freakin nutjob. Now granted none of the wounds were really that life threatening, it's the fact that he more than defines a moron. He said he kept delivering because he didn't think it was that bad and he would have gone to the hospital when he was done.....:blink: :toofunny:


It's always fun to take care of strippers too......usually they fall off the stage, or slide down the pole upsidedown too fast and hit their heads. :chick:........they are always so appreciative when you help them......one girl grabbed an iv pole onetime and told me she would give me a quick dance that i wouldn't forget.........all i can say is DAMN :twisted:

 

[kwyckemynd00]

Keep 'em cummin!

The old man who took his eyeball out with a fork and put it in a mayo jar was a bit on the crazy size...wow.

 

[CDB]

Keep 'em cummin!

The old man who took his eyeball out with a fork and put it in a mayo jar was a bit on the crazy size...wow.

Well what are you supposed to do with your eye after you pop it out with a fork?

 

[kwyckemynd00]

In a psych ward? Lots of things I can think of...maybe make anal beans for the schizophrenic nympho in the room next to you

 

[Trauma1]

I have so many to add, but i'm sooo freakin tired tonight......but don't worry boys many more funny stories to come from me.

 

[motive]

one of my first patients ever....
older man was pretending to be jason with a chainsaw in a haunted theme house type thing. well these idiots didnt take the chain off like they are suppose to. to make the story short... he got startled because he got to close to a kid and he jerked the chainsaw back into his chin. the chainsaw was lodge into his chin about 6 inches deep.
best part was the kids thought it was part of the show so they just kept going.
the people incharge of the place was sued and the guy was fine after a few operations

 

[Trauma1]

Alright one more quick one i can think of......Had a psych patient one time somehow get free from his leather restraints. Now before i finish the story, most e.r.'s are completly locked down and you need your badge to gain access to areas. Well this guy broke free and proceeded to sprint approx 20 yards towards the exit at full speed. Now i was charting at a counter and all i heard comming up behind me was bare feet running on the floor..... Just as i look up to see what it was, this guy ran into this huge reinforced door at full speed expecting it to open as he was going through it. Well, lets just say he was wrong and the door won........it literally sounded like a car hitting a tree. As he hit the door with his face, 4 of his front teeth went flying and he then proceeded recoil off the door to bounce off the floor a few more times like on a trampoline. Seriously i thought the guy was dead at first because he really hit the door that hard lol, but he lived to fight another day. The end result was he was out cold and split his head open from his forehead to his chin....The funny part about this was my buddy was chasing him , however he knew the dumba$$ would run into the door so he stopped to admire the show lol

 

[motive]

i keep remembering stories.
heroin addict came in with a rope wrapped tight around his arm and bleeding all over. apparently after injecting he felt he did to much and wanted to keep it from spreading through hsi body. he thought he would use a tourniquet technique and when he realized that wasnt working he decided to start cutting. he cut a few inches and decided to come to us. ofcourse we dont sympathy drugies or suicidal patients so he got class a service

 

[CDB]

In a psych ward? Lots of things I can think of...maybe make anal beans for the schizophrenic nympho in the room next to you

Too squishy. You need something more substantial.

 

[Iron Warrior]

Jesus Christ, I thought I had some good stories from teaching and coaching but these E.R. stories sure keep boredom out of the work place LOL.

 

[Trauma1]

Jesus Christ, I thought I had some good stories from teaching and coaching but these E.R. stories sure keep boredom out of the work place LOL.

No doubt.....they definately keep the job interesting

 

[ReaperX]

Well, I have 2 stories that I think will top this list:

1. As of recently, due to my line of work, I saw someone who had been shot in the face twice with a nailgun. Yes, they both went into each eye somehow.

2. There is this machine called a 'pipe threader'. What it essentially does is cut the notches into the piping so they can be screwed together. It does burst cuts, it does not constantly keep spinning/cutting. Anyways, there was this guy with long hair that evidently did not tie it up. His hair got caught in the thing.

Ok, I know what your thinking: Probably a scalping...which is something I've actually also seen. Phuck, no it wasn't a scapling. His hair was still connected and when it spun it broke his neck so he died. Then whenever it would spin in burst intervals it would fling around his body since his hair was still there. This went on for 45 minutes before someone came and found him.

 

[Iron Warrior]

Well, I have 2 stories that I think will top this list:

1. As of recently, due to my line of work, I saw someone who had been shot in the face twice with a nailgun. Yes, they both went into each eye somehow.

2. There is this machine called a 'pipe threader'. What it essentially does is cut the notches into the piping so they can be screwed together. It does burst cuts, it does not constantly keep spinning/cutting. Anyways, there was this guy with long hair that evidently did not tie it up. His hair got caught in the thing.

Ok, I know what your thinking: Probably a scalping...which is something I've actually also seen. Phuck, no it wasn't a scapling. His hair was still connected and when it spun it broke his neck so he died. Then whenever it would spin in burst intervals it would fling around his body since his hair was still there. This went on for 45 minutes before someone came and found him.

WTF ! ? I'm glad I keep my hair short

Worst thing I've seen is one of my players who broke his fibula and had the bone sticking out of the his leg. It was fvckin gross and he was crying as if he had been stabbed.

 

[Mrs. Gimpy!]

Well, I have 2 stories that I think will top this list:

1. As of recently, due to my line of work, I saw someone who had been shot in the face twice with a nailgun. Yes, they both went into each eye somehow.

2. There is this machine called a 'pipe threader'. What it essentially does is cut the notches into the piping so they can be screwed together. It does burst cuts, it does not constantly keep spinning/cutting. Anyways, there was this guy with long hair that evidently did not tie it up. His hair got caught in the thing.

Ok, I know what your thinking: Probably a scalping...which is something I've actually also seen. Phuck, no it wasn't a scapling. His hair was still connected and when it spun it broke his neck so he died. Then whenever it would spin in burst intervals it would fling around his body since his hair was still there. This went on for 45 minutes before someone came and found him.

:blink: where the heck do u work? scary...

 

[ReaperX]

Yeah it had a switch.

I'm a health inspector for the government. I see everything and anything.

 

[greenwing7]

I'm on OB cliniclas right now and this was the classic one you always hear of but never see... lady came into the ER with stomach pain and within eight hours she poped out a baby

 

[Trauma1]

I'm on OB cliniclas right now and this was the classic one you always hear of but never see... lady came into the ER with stomach pain and within eight hours she poped out a baby

I've only had one baby actually delivered in the E.R., but that was because she was already crowning when she walked into triage........unless that happens we get them to o.b. with the quickness.

 

[Trauma1]

I don't know why we've had so many hand injuries over the past few days:think: Just yesterday alone we had a guy that basically cut his finger off with a radial saw, a few different knives through fingers, a guy that chopped off his finger with a table saw......and a guy that was cutting down trees with a chainsaw when it kicked off the tree and cut about halfway through his forearm.......unbelieveably this was just yesterday alone. It's funny how certain injuries come in waves sometimes for no apparent reason.

 

[jmh80]

I work in what is a pretty dangerous industry - refining and chemical manufacture. (A chemical plant.)
I'm amazed at the injury rate of the company I work for (how low it is) - our plant went over a year with nothing worse than a first aid. We have like 3 to 4,000 people/day that work in the plant during the week.

(To put it in perspective, we have pure chlorine in one part of the plant and H2S at a high enough concentration to kill lots of people in a second in my part of the plant.)

 

[kwyckemynd00]

I don't know why we've had so many hand injuries over the past few days:think: Just yesterday alone we had a guy that basically cut his finger off with a radial saw, a few different knives through fingers, a guy that chopped off his finger with a table saw......and a guy that was cutting down trees with a chainsaw when it kicked off the tree and cut about halfway through his forearm.......unbelieveably this was just yesterday alone. It's funny how certain injuries come in waves sometimes for no apparent reason.

Sounds like

Construction workers, chef's, and lumber jacks....all drunkards. 'Nuff said.

 

[Trauma1]

Sounds like

Construction workers, chef's, and lumber jacks....all drunkards. 'Nuff said.

Not one of these people were even remotely intoxicated, however that's not always the case. Sh*t happens is the way i like to put it.....sounds like you're quick to label these people though:think:

 

[Trauma1]

I just thought of another story......i don't know if any of you have ever watched trauma life in the E.R. before, but this story originated from where i worked in tampa. These two guys were playing cards and very drunk......when apparently one of them cheated and all hell broke loose. I guess these two guys were brother and both were known to have bad tempers. So to make a long story short, one of the brothers had a large bowie knife on him and stabbed his brother right above his left orbit(eye).

Now the amazing thing about this story was he came into the E.R. completely alert and orientated(but drunk) with absolutely no focal neurological deficit from his apparent injury. Now this knife was sticking out of his head and embedded all the way to the hilt. I guess you can imagine the looks this guy got when they brought him in. Now we were a level 2 trauma center, however they wanted 2 neurosurgical teams present for this surgery, so he had to be transfered to the level 1 trauma center in tampa which is where trauma life in the E.R. picks up the story.

This story was truly amazing because the only injury that resulted after the surgery was a small amount of left ocular movement impairment. That guy was truly one lucky b@stard!!

 

[dlew308]

While i was in ER, someone came in next to me. This was like the 2nd or 3rd he had tried to kill himself so I heard. Trying to OD on 100s of pills still didn't kill him off. I could overhear them talking about all the different pills he took, I don't know how he lived. His liver was probably shot tho.

 

[Trauma1]

While i was in ER, someone came in next to me. This was like the 2nd or 3rd he had tried to kill himself so I heard. Trying to OD on 100s of pills still didn't kill him off. I could overhear them talking about all the different pills he took, I don't know how he lived. His liver was probably shot tho.

The thing with these people is this.........all of them say they took a whole bottle of tylenol to kill themselves.......in reality maybe 5% of those people actually do it. I've seen maybe 5 or 6 true acetominophen overdoses for example that required extensive treatment(IV Mucomyst or N-Acetyl-cysteine). People don't realize it, but liver failure from acetaminophen OD is a slow horrible way to die.

The majority of these people really don't want to kill themselves and it's just a cry for help. However i have witnessed the true nutjobs that do inhale a whole bottle of tylenol and valium.....it's actually really sad sometimes.

 

[motive]

The thing with these people is this.........all of them say they took a whole bottle of tylenol to kill themselves.......in reality maybe 5% of those people actually do it. I've seen maybe 5 or 6 true acetominophen overdoses for example that required extensive treatment(IV Mucomyst or N-Acetyl-cysteine). People don't realize it, but liver failure from acetaminophen OD is a slow horrible way to die.

The majority of these people really don't want to kill themselves and it's just a cry for help. However i have witnessed the true nutjobs that do inhale a whole bottle of tylenol and valium.....it's actually really sad sometimes.

very true.... i wouldnt want to go out puking, craping and urinating on myself while in convultions!

 

[Hank Vangut]

have a friend that just became a phycisians assistent. while in school, one of her rotations was in the ER.
anyway, there she got a patient that came in with a bottle stuck up his ass. my friend explained that if you shove something far enough up, apparently the colon acts as a vacuum and sucks it in. and if it's large enough you can't even sh!t it out. so they had to go in with ass tongs to pull this bad boy out. when questioned how it got up there, the guy said he slipped in the shower and landed on the bottle.

 

[motive]

not really a bloody or crazy story but we once had a patient that was to large to fit in the ambulance. they called ahead and warned us that she was coming but we had no idea how large she really was. she couldnt fit on the normal hospital bed either. they had to fly a special bed for her down from dallas which cost a buttload and it was going to be 1200 bucks a day for her to use it. i couldnt imagine ever being so large... i felt sorry for her