Create Your Own Bogus Supplement Adertising Campaign
- 07-29-2007, 02:11 PM
Create Your Own Bogus Supplement Adertising Campaign
Ingredients do not have to be real. Supplement does not have to necessarily be effective. Just come up with an advertisement or write-up, and have fun with it. Then post it so we can all look at it and laugh at it.
- 07-29-2007, 02:12 PM
Horny For Goat Weed: The Ultimate Anabolic
Synergy is the term used to describe when two or more components come together to create a result greater than their individual contributions.
Sinner-G is the term used to describe when two or more components come together to create a result so great, you will want to have sex with goats.
Horny For Goat Weed is the later of these to homophones: Sinner-G.
Horny For Goat Weed Combines 3 key ingredients for the ultimate sinner-jizz-tic effect.
Icariin Most supplement companies use epimedium extract standardized for 10% or 20% icariin. Some even use 50%. We said "F*ck It, let's use 900%". That's right, we've atomically modified the Icariin molecules using anti-matter to compress it's overall molecular size to 9x smaller. What does this mean? Not only More Icariin, but because of it's incredibly small size, absorption is increased 18-fold!
The next ingredient we decided to use is actual Goat Semen. Goat Semen is not only a great source of essential muscle-building amino acids, but it also contains the Jackase enzyme, which is resposible for converting the already anabolic testosterone to the ever potent Ponysterone, which is 12x more anabolic than methyltrienolone, without any liver toxicity.
Smilax Officiallis I'm not gonna lie, this serves absolutely no purpose in our formulation, we just have a sh*t load of it left over from back in the day, and we're trying to get rid of it.
So now you can sit there at the status quo, curling a 65lbs barbell at the squat rack, or you can get yourself some Horny For Goat Weed and make Ronnie look like a little schoolgirl by 5 o'clock next Tuesday.
Note: May cause sexual attraction to farm animals, and a new found appreciation for "My Little Pony".
- 07-29-2007, 03:01 PM
From the company that brang you Saradrol and Mariabol, from the latest in research and extraction technology, Juicey-Gear Labs proudly presents, Winnar.
Scientific research backed to decrease body fat % by 50% in 80% of human test subjects, and 100% of animal models.(From those great guys who researched AST VP2).
When Juicy-Gear Labs decided to formulate Winnar, we cut no corners. With its scientific support, Winnar is literally the most powerful, extreme and effective fat-starving supplement ever created. Winnar utilizes a recently engineered macro-platform technology to stimulate the biochemical response involved in appetite suppression while sparing muscle glycogen and alleviating that full feeling so that you can still eat, we have accomplished this by mimmicking prescription medicine via legal loopholes. In plain English, Winnar acts like prescription meds but without side effects and is 100% effective at getting rid of fat. Winnar works, and the FDA cant touch us.... for about 3 months..... so stock up now!
One thing we are proud of, is Winnar doesn't contain the scam ingredients found in other fat burners. Stuff like Herbs. Why include herbs if there not drugs? What have herbs done for you lately????. The ingredients in Winnar do more than just give you an erection and make liquids go straight through you. They HATE fat more than a nurse at an obesity clinic. 67 years of mind numbing, scalp itching research has gone into Winnar. You can be sure that the ingredients that are in Winnar are there because they do something usefull: To be a complete synergistic blend of ingredients designed to be the ultimate bodybuilding fat loss suppliment. Many of the current fat-loss supplements on the market fall well short of containing the research-proven ingredients found in Winnar, most of the time companies will just throw in every herb that comes up on a google search in the hope that atleast one will work, the diffrence between them and us is that we at Juicy-Gear Labs have a team of monkeys who have a bachelors degree in google making sure everything we consider is going to do its job and not be a pill filler like most stuff you hand your hard earned cash over for.
This stuff will make you more ripped than a pair of shorts in a dog fight. With results occuring almost instantly, no oily lotions that stick to ur shirt, no GH gut, no red swollen skin and no mud butt, we have included extra ingredients which safely counter-act any side effects this suppliment will otherwise cause.
* Phentermine extract equivilent to 5mg Phentermine.
* Paracetamol 500mg
* 1-(3-ethyl-4-oxo-oxetan-2-yl)tridecan-2-yl 2-formylamino-4-methyl-pentanoate equiv. 300mg Orlistat.
* Loperamide Hcl
07-29-2007, 03:10 PM
07-29-2007, 03:14 PM
NO Dorian Yates. Sergio Oliva, Arnold, Ronnie , Jay cutler pics?
i dont buy in to your fake advertising campaing if you dont have any of those guys.
07-29-2007, 03:16 PM
WARNING: This product is not for pu$sies ! You will lose 3 pounds of fat and gain 5 pounds of dense, rock-hard muscle just by touching the bottle. You can continue losing 3 pounds of fat and gaining 5 pounds of muscle a week every week until you die.
Methyl-Roidelone is the newest of anabolic hormones. We discovered this hormone in the Vida book of anabolics and tweaked to molecules so that liver toxicity and cardiovascular side effects can be eliminated for good. As a matter of fact, our test subjects decreased their bad cholesterol, blood pressure, and got rid of pre-existing gyno that had them sporting double d's just by using Methy-Roidelone
This is the first and only hormone that will not shut you down, cause male pattern baldness, prostate issues, gynocomastia, or roid rage. Methyl-Roidelone is so safe that you never have to cycle off it unless you're getting so big that no one can make clothes big enough for you. Methy-Roidelone is the first safe anabolic for kids, old ladies, and couch potatoes.
Methyl-Roidelone also has the magical capability of increasing Growth Hormone levels by 851209.78% because we added a molecule to trick your body into thinking that it needs more GH. We don't know the physiological process of this but we do know this sh!t will spike your GH levels high enough to make Jay and Ronnie stop using actual black market GH.
We also figured we could thrown in some Methyl-Yohimbine HCL as the back bone of the fat loss part in Methyl-Roidelone. Life will never be the same again, our product is so great that it has revolutionized history. Some third world countries even changed their calendars from BC-AD to BMR-AMR. This isn't 2007, it's AMR (After Methyl-Roidelone) 1. Don't get left behind with all the other bean poles who end up masturbating on Friday nights while real men on Methy-Roidelone are banging the hottest chicks alive because I also forgot to mention that Methy-Roidelone makes you release some powerful pheromones that practically makes chicks jump on your permanently erect boner that was also induced by Methyl-Roidelone.
Every pro bodybuilder is using Methyl-Roidelone and no other scam artist company can say the same. Look at what the Pros said. "My strength increased by 1285.77% and muscle mass increased by 349.71% when compared to my stack of Test, Tren, GH, Insulin, and whatever else I'm forgetting" -Ronnie Coleman 8 time Mr. Olympia
Others may have clones with similar names but our sh!t is the sh!t and clinically proven to be 125489.44% better then all other clone products from inferior companies who want to rip you off unlike us.
Supplement Facts: 2,900,000 mcg propiretary blend
17-alpha male jackoffsterone - 90,328% more anabolic then Test, Tren, GH, and Insulin combined !
17-alpha Newes Lethal Herbis complex extract equivalent to 99.9% ab ripping crack-cocaine
17-alpha Speedis Herbis Complex extract equivalent to 99.9% ab ripping methamphetamine
17-alpha Yohimbine HCL
17-alpha sperm whale protein complex - 2,799% stronger than regular sperm whale protein and 88,532.12% stronger then Nitro-Tech !
Last edited by Iron Warrior; 07-29-2007 at 04:45 PM.
07-29-2007, 03:17 PM
07-29-2007, 06:25 PM
A Synergystic Propietary blend of Sugar and Salt which has been observed in numerous scientific studies to make gains comparable to BCAA's, Creatine, and even Anabolic Steroids. Placebol is the end all be all of any supplement you'll ever need.
Users report significant increases in mental focus, Strength, Stamina, Lean Body Mass, memory, Longevity, improved cholesterol, reduced bodyfat, Skin bursting pumps, improved libido, improved complexion, assistance in quitting smoking drugs or alcohol, better mood and confidence, better sleep, increased energy, reduced soreness and inflammation, and more pleasurable sex with goats when using Placebol .
"After a week on Placebol, I gained 23lbs. My strength is through the roof, and I sleep better. The results I'm getting from placebol were so great, I just went ahead last night and threw out all my steroid, peptides, and Muscletech Products. Placebol is the only Supplement I need." ~ Jay Cutler, 2006 Mr. Olympia.
"This stuff worked so well, I shaved my head like Britney Spears and had sex with a goat. My Max deadlift went from 445 to 790 after just 2 weeks! Placebol really is the only supplement you'll ever need." ~ Iron Warrior, Anabolic Minds Forum Member and as it would seem an avid goat-f*cker.
"All I know is, once I started taking Placebol, I started getting casted in big name films...and Burger King Commercials!"~ Orlando Bloom, overrated Hollywood actor.
"Placebol is the greatest thing I've ever had. I used to be a 120lbs scrawny little heroin addict, when one of my friends got me to try Placebol. Within a few days, I completely kicked the habit, and I'm a lean mean 285lbs of solid muscle. Placebol is the greatest stuff there is. I know I've said in the past that NO-Xplode was the greatest stuff ever, but that was just a lie so I could keep my sponsorship. Placebol is better than steroids, and believe you me, I'm someone who would know." ~Ronnie Coleman, 8 time Mr. Olympia
"Sex with goats has never been greater. I stack with Horny For Goat Weed, and the results have been astronomical." ~thesinner, Anabolic Minds Forum Member, Animal Lover, and Loose Rep Slut
07-31-2007, 12:07 PM
im to lazy nor do i have the time right now to do this but im posting this so im subbed.
Really good ones so far this is pretty funny
07-31-2007, 12:30 PM
AirTein, the ORIGINAL Air Protein!
Sick of paying RIDICULOUS prices for protein powders loaded with fillers and binders? I'm doing away with all of that, you get EXACTLY what you pay for, no BS.
Serving Size 0g
Servings Per Pound: ∞
Total Calories 0
Calories from Fat 0
Amount Per Serving %Daily Value
Total Fat 0g 0%
Saturated Fat 0g 0%
Cholesterol 0mg 0%
Sodium 0mg 0%
Carbohydrates 0g 0%
Dietary Fiber 0g 0%
Sugar 0g 0%
Protein 0g 0%
Vitamin A 0mg 0%
Vitamin C 0mg 0%
Calcium 0mg 0%
Iron 0mg 0%
*Daily Value not established
The above statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose or treat any disease.
08-27-2007, 06:22 PM
I once saw in a Fizogen log that someone who wore "The Strap" $hit so hard that he blew out the bottom of the toilet.
08-27-2007, 06:30 PM
08-27-2007, 07:00 PM
08-27-2007, 07:32 PM
Lol, I even said it would increase pen0r size and hieght as a side effect.
08-27-2007, 09:12 PM
I looked it up at bb.com and oh boy...what a load of shi2t!
I'm glad I haven't set foot into a GNC in over 10 years, and I've yet to buy anything advertised in a "Special 4 Page Ad-Report."
08-27-2007, 09:31 PM
Herbasturbate is a synergystic blend of several never before seen herbs that have been shown to cause the following effects:
-Increased "Johnson" Length
-Increased Sexual Stamina
-More Pleasureable Orgasms
-Longer Organms that will last 45 minutes!!!!
Do it ALL with Herbasturbate!
Herbasturbate contains 500mg of some funky grasslike herb from my neighbors backyard. It has been shown to increase orgasm time 50000%. 
Herbasturbate also contains a potent herb called Cinnamon. Although cinnamon is a pretty common spice, this particular cinnamon (from my grandmother's basement pantry) has been shown to give my grandpa better erections than viagra. 
Atop both these phenominal ingredients is a barrage of tribulus terrestus, gingko biloba, and all that other sh*t you see in competator "Herbal Male Enhacement" supplements. But ours is better. 
As you can clearly see from the above graph, Herbasturbate Works!
So pick yourself up a bottle of Herbasturbate today, and start having sex like you never dreamed possible.
 My Next Door Neighbor, he's really smart.
 My Grampa. Why would he lie about something like that?
 Me. Because I said so.
08-27-2007, 09:32 PM
08-27-2007, 09:37 PM
08-28-2007, 11:07 AM
08-29-2007, 12:26 PM
To get big you need A LOT OF CALORIES but does all your cardio consist of going to the toilet, 100 TIMES A DAY?
Are people telling you to PULL YOUR **** TOGETHER???
When you go to sit down on the crapper, does the water make the same noises as when your standing up?
Have you resorted to scrunching instead of folding that toilet paper because you butterfly smudged that crap when you leant forward to reach for the stuff?
If you answered YES to any of these questions, you need.
Make your **** bananas today!!!
08-29-2007, 02:56 PM
08-29-2007, 04:03 PM
Teaser: Information to be released next week... or next month... or next year.... ok, never... but you still want it
01-05-2008, 07:47 PM
Ever hear of MENT? It's an acronym! It's also about 12x as anabolic as testosterone. HGH? A potent hormone that greatly enhances body composition and improved recovery. IGF? Yet another potent hormone for enhanced body composition and recovery. MGF? PG2Fa? AA? CEE? Are you starting to see a pattern?
Things that are acronyms are potent anabolics.
The science team of BS Nutrition is proud to introduce our new patent pending LEGAL anabolic:
What is it? Who cares! It's a freaking huge acronym. What does that mean? DUH! That it's gonna make you look freaking HUGE as well.
As you can see by this graph, Acronymistane is the greatest thing in the world! It is even better than every steroid ever, a bag of funyuns, and diet coke COMBINED!!!!! [Ignore the labels pertaining to songs downloaded on iTunes]
So what are you doing sitting there not taking the soon to be covetted NFLGFLIJWLDHWLIUGHOLKENHTOWLWL KAD, when you could be taking NFLGFLIJWLDHWLIUGHOLKENHTOWLWL KAD, getting freaking huge, having every lady you walk past want you balls like it's a diamond rings and a cup of Starbucks?
You need Acronymistane or martians will attack the planet earth and eat your brains!
Warning: Acronymistane should only be taken by responsible adult males over the age of 23 and half. Do not take Acronymistane if pregnant, nursing, lifting weights, watching a movie starring Julia Stiles, or if your girlfriend is on the rag. Do not take Acronymistane if you are on an MAOI, NSAID, or a couch. Always talk to your doctor before starting a diet/supplement and exercise program. Do not use ketchup packets to dip french fries in while on Acronymistane. Do not call them french fries while on Acronymistane. Acronymistane is not for the French or French Canadians. Pizza will seem more pizza-ey while on Acronymistane. Some users have experienced a rare but serious sexual side effect while on Acromymistane: growth of a third ball., If a third ball is grown, seek medical attention immediately.
01-05-2008, 10:36 PM
I havent laughed that hard in a while. Thanks guys.
I need to pick up some Acronymestane, Methyl-Roidelon, Herbasturbate, and Placebol.
Wonder what happens if I stack them all?
01-05-2008, 10:54 PM
01-05-2008, 11:56 PM
The Anabolic Sink
There's a ton of really effective products out there. While other places like to combine only a select few and require users to "stack" them, we here at Speciallized Hypertrophy Ingenuity Technologies (****) have decided to give you ALL the awesomeness in one product: The Anabolic Sink The last supplement you'll ever need.
1 Scoop: 10kg
Anabolic Sink™ Proprietary Blend (patent pending)
Waxy Maize Starch
Creatine-6,8-Thioctic Acid-Ketoisocaproic Acid Calcium
Creatine ethyl ester
Creatine methyl ester
Creatine magic ester
Creatine Aunt Esther
1, 4, 6 Etioallocholan-Dione
Ted Nugent Nipple Hair
Glycine-l-arginine-alpha-ketoisocaproic acid calcium
Horny Goat Weed (10%)
Sinner's Backyard Ginseng
Tie Dyed Ginseng
Acetyl L-Carnitine L-Arginine Dihydrochloride
Norvaline ethyl ester
Norvaline methyl ester
Ronnie Coleman Deoxyribonucleic Acid
Jay Cutler Deoxyribonucleic Acid
Ajuga Turkestanica Extract
Muira Puama Extract
Avena Sativa Extract
Stinging Nettle Extract
Wild Mexican Yam Extract
Smilax Officinalis Extract
Eurycoma Longifolia Extract
Tongkat Ali Extract
Blue Green Algae extract
01-06-2008, 12:59 AM
01-06-2008, 01:23 AM
Did you read that whole list? lol
How many ingredients are in there?
There's over 20 different creatines and like 7 compounds that are just another word for caffeine.
01-06-2008, 01:32 AM
01-06-2008, 01:41 AM
I counted it out. 168 different ingredients, including the grassclippings and spam.
01-06-2008, 02:23 AM
01-06-2008, 11:13 AM
01-06-2008, 11:24 AM
01-06-2008, 01:42 PM
01-08-2008, 01:38 AM
01-08-2008, 10:17 AM
01-08-2008, 10:41 AM
The worlds first transdermal protein supplement: IT'S THE MONEY SHOT!!!!!!
While most protein shakes can only elevate nitrogen levels for a small period of time (typically about 2 hours), Jizz-a-derm is the first protein supplement with sustained transdermal release, lasting 12 hours.
Just splatter a big wad of jizz-a-derm all over your chest and rub it in. Within minutes your blood nitrogen levels will be crazy high (borderline renal nephropathy) and stay that high for 12 hours.
"I love the feeling of a quick protein blast of warm jizz-a-derm
all over my chest. It's such a great feeling, and the results from taking it were nothing short of phenominal. I've built muscle, burned fat, and using jizz-a-derm makes me hella horny." ~ Person who wishes to remain anonymous.
"I started using jizz-a-derm last week. Just poured that all over my chest, and I was good to go. Jizz-a-derm truly is the money shot when it comes to protein supplementation." ~ Dixie Rection, porn star
Warning: Do not apply Jizz-a-derm to genitals or inner thighs, especially if female.
01-08-2008, 12:26 PM
Scotty Wymore found himself out of shape and constipated. He needed to get jacked, and fast, so he put his muscle growth in the hands of Team MuscleJerk™ researchers and JackedDaFcukUP™ Hardcore. And, 6 days later, Scotty had gained 243 pounds of solid muscle! "Every guy wants bigger arms, perfect pecs and huge delts, and JackedDaFcukUP™ Hardcore delivered all this fast...although i'm still constipated!"
- Gain 243 lbs of solid mass in 6 days!
- Mind tearing workouts......no really, your mind will be completly ripped in half.
- Become so vascular, you actually grow veins on top of your skin.
JackedDaFcukUP™ will also: Save your marriage, Give you permanent wood, Eliminate your need for sleep, Make you tan, Boost your IQ, Give you a raise at work, Eliminate all fat within a ten mile radius, and allow you to continue making massive gains with just a light ten minute workout each month.
****WARNING: do not use JackedDaFcukUP™ for longer than 30 consecutive days, otherwise you will become so large that you will change the gravitational forces of our solar system*****
Last edited by Hank Vangut; 01-08-2008 at 07:10 PM.
01-08-2008, 03:15 PM
01-09-2008, 01:30 PM
say it aint so, but i heard that congress is putting The Anabolic Sink on the class III banned substance list? NOOOOO!!!!!!!
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