How much time does it take to fall in love?
06-22-2007 08:18 AM
How much time does it take to fall in love?
SO everybody chime in, not lust here guys. How much time did it take for you to fall in love with your signifigant other and on a scale of 1-10, how happy are you? 10+ being you cant live without her.
06-22-2007 08:49 AM
This is an interesting question and I will share my personal expierence with you. First off we (meaning EVERYONE) needs to get on the understanding that NOTHING in life is guaranteed. I mean think about it, no guarantee you'll live to tommorow, or in this case find your significant other. So I guess to answer your question there is no time limit.......that is if it ever happens.
I've realized this reality from a younger age and had been actively looking for someone. I had met my current girlfriend 2 years ago and it has been the best expierence in my life. I would rate it clearly a 10 if not higher because it has been what I've been wanting out of a relationship and someone in my life.
Sure Hugh Hefner is a baller and has lots of money and girls, but who knows if he is really happy ? There are a lot of people 50 + that divorce or die without ever finding the person they truely connected with and I don't want to be like that.
Not side tracking here either, but I also am natural and don't take orals other than natural stuff because I know my safety concerns my girlfriend and others so I guess that's something I'm willing to do for her.
p.s. No I'm not having high estrogen levels...j/k
06-22-2007 09:54 AM
4 years lol but then again i am a special case currently i am at a 9.5 after i wed this guy i will know its for real and be a 10 lol
06-22-2007 09:55 AM
I don't think it's something you can pin down with a specific time and date as to when and where you felt like you could utter the love word. It always starts with a slight attraction to someone else, and as the relationship gets older the feelings gradually get stronger(or weaker). I could never put a date on which I felt love, it just sneaks up on you and one day its everywhere.... weird I know. You could say love starts from the beginning and the growth of the relationship constitutes a stronger bond with the word love. At some point you begin to realize the person you are with is different from all the others and you actually like it. For me it was during undergrad when I had about 20bucks to my name and i took this girl I was dating out to dinner thinking she would be like all the other girls and order something along the lines of a garden salad and a water. To my surprise she looked at me and said "Man I'm hungry" and order a whole entree complete with appetizers AND dessert. Granted I turned into the one having to order a glass of water and eat the free crackers just so I could afford the meal, it still made me think of this girl as someone different and something that I liked above all the others.
Did that classify as the moment I fell in love... no, but it put some extra kick into what I thought about the relationship and defenitely gave it a little growth.
~ Nothing can kill the Grimace!!
06-22-2007 10:13 AM
06-22-2007 10:38 AM
about 3 minutes to fall in love and about 3 weeks to get up the gut to tell her and 3 months to propose. getting married in september so.. scale of 1-10 = 10
06-22-2007 10:48 AM
I can't say that it's possible to put a time on it... I've been in 'love' (and when I say that, I say true love) probably twice... maybe up to four times, but PROBABLY twice... the first was obviously my first love... and that took around 2 weeks before I was in over my head... It's been 3 years since the breakup, and I still love her to an extent, not like it was, just that if she trips and falls, I will pick her up love... The second one, which is actually the most recent, is currently my best friend, we dated for a long time, and she moved, so we did the long distance thing, and it wasn't my cup of tea, so we decided to leave things be as friends... well I have this (call it a feeling?) < > that we are both still totally in love with eachother, and I would say that it only took a few hours with her before I felt that way... The other two that are 'questionable' in terms of 'love', well, one was a 7 monther with a great girl, just a little off in terms of priorities and goals, and I wouldn't say it was true love, more along the lines of, I'm hurt and need love 'love', on both parts. (which took probably 1 month) The other one.. well it was an ex girlfriend that moved back, and found me, and well, we ended up dating, and I would say it was more of a playful joking love, nothing serious kind of love, and it took months before I felt that way, it was more of a 'fun to hang out with you' kind of feeling, call it friends.
EDIT: Coincidentally enough, I just end up talking to the 'call it friends' girl, wished her happy birthday and all that good stuff... and you know... there may have been something there... hmmmmm. lol
06-22-2007 10:52 AM
Sounds like it was a smash and grab job.
Originally Posted by brywal312
06-22-2007 10:54 AM
Running with the Big Boys
I think the moment happens whenever there is a time of need and you realize that they are the one that you need for consolation and support or vice-versa. Once you both hit that certain wavelength, then it is all good from that time until the end.
06-22-2007 10:58 AM
It depends on if you have a ****ed up view on what love is supposed to be or not. Love is hardly a well defined word but my answer is that it takes as long as it takes for you to reach your definition of love.
06-22-2007 10:58 AM
Thats almost perfectly it, and as gay as it sounds the line from Jerry McGuire pretty well covers it, the deaf couple in the elevator "You complete me" part. Theres no rhyme or reason to it, but when you realize that she does complete you, thats the moment.
Originally Posted by Rodja
06-22-2007 11:17 AM
Running with the Big Boys
As cheesy and lame as it is, you just know when the time is right. I have no problem telling a girl that I love them because I do not run from emotions. I feel like if I cannot be honest with myself then I cannot be honest with anyone.
Originally Posted by EasyEJL
06-22-2007 12:02 PM
I'll put it this way. As a general rule, I don't believe I've ever said "I love you" within the first 3 months - regardless of how I felt inside.
When I say it - I mean it - it's true and real.
I'm not saying ppl who say it earlier don't mean it either, but I find anything earlier than that can be scary. Not everyone falls in love at the same time. Saying it when the other isn't ready to hear it isn't always a good thing. There isn't much harm in waiting - if a woman wants to leave me because I won't say it within 3 months - then I feel she never truly loved me in the first place.
06-22-2007 12:03 PM
Good question, is she:
1. Wearing short shorts?
2. You are getting a good upskirt shot?
3. She is a C, D cup plus?
4. She starts the conversation with " do you like anal?"
1. Met at a christmas party.
2. Starting talking for about a month on messenger then "why don't you come over" to her and she did.
3. Within three months discussed marriage.
4. Engaged at six months
5. Married by one year
6. Married to current date ( 5yrs so far )
Relationship & love: 10+
Sex, variety & frequency: 7
This woman truly makes me whole, inspires me to become more and still loves me after I A) pick my nose and eat it B) clean my ears with my underwear after getting out of the shower C) experiencing the stench from my backside at the unholiest of times!
She is a 10!
06-22-2007 01:46 PM
Some really good point guys. Yeah sure, talking about love might be cheesy. But at some point we ALL have it cross our mind. For me, I am always fighting to keep a foot on the ground, as my head is always in the clouds.
I was really curious to see if there was really instant loves that were good, or just hormones. Kind of what I am facing right now. I had what I would call a once in a life time night last night, and am trying to keep part of me from floating from the high of the night with her.
Thanks for the input.
06-22-2007 02:08 PM
i have to agree with you on that one... i run, far away, very quickly if the three word sentence comes out to fast. its hard for me to believe that people can fall into absolute, definite, positive, lifelong, true love in such a short amount of time. i have a feeling that people that do fall in love too easily will just as easily fall in the with the next fish, just as they did with me. i've had two guys before kwyck tell me that they loved me. one told me after a week.....GAG!!! and the other told me after 3 DAYS
Originally Posted by Sunder
as far as time goes... its a very individual thing, although as mentioned previously, i dont belive that it happens too quickly (although i know many of you probably disagree with me).
i dated a guy for two years and during those two years, NEVER did i say to him that i loved him, and i never even for the slightest second, believed that i love him even a little bit. kwyck and i said the "i love you's" at 7 months and then knew that we wanted to get married about a month after that..... and we are still together 5.5 years strong (not married due to financial reasons).
i rate my relationship a 1,000,000,000,000,000
06-22-2007 02:11 PM
Could also be because it is generally thought to be a surefire way to get in a girls pants...
Originally Posted by Mrs. Gimpy!
06-22-2007 02:15 PM
Here I am about to go to supercheesy level, but there is no way to tell if it will work if you don't try. Supressing the feeling or pretending you dont feel that way just guarantees it won't work, because you aren't being honest with yourself or her.
Originally Posted by motiv8er
Really it working out over the long haul is more about both of you making a real choice to stay committed to each other. If you do that, it doesn't matter whether you fell in love as your eyes first met, or it took years. The end result is the same.
06-22-2007 02:28 PM
I've been in love three times. The first two ended in divorce. When I married them, I was very much in love with them.
The first developed severe depression and wouldn't get help for it. She thought bringing kids into our relationship would make everything all better. I was not going to allow that to happen and no longer trusted her to stay on the pill.
The second became a raging alcoholic. I suported her through three treatment programs. She cheated on me during the third one. She left me for the other person for a couple months. I decided it would be worth it to try again as I loved her so much. She cheated on me again, and told me that spending time with me was an inefficient use of her time.
I'm with my third wife now and love her very deeply. Do I love her as much as I could? I'm not sure. The pain from the second marriage is hard to forget.
My wife now is an incredible person. But that fear of something happening is hard to shake. Maybe after more years go by with us together, that will start to disappear completely.
People change. Just hope that you both change in the right direction for each other, or there cold be problems.
06-22-2007 02:34 PM
You just reminded me of a quote
Originally Posted by CRUNCH
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.
I always thought it meant doing her doggie style over a balcony rail, but from what you said maybe it means something else
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