How much time does it take to fall in love? - AnabolicMinds.com

How much time does it take to fall in love?

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    How much time does it take to fall in love?


    SO everybody chime in, not lust here guys. How much time did it take for you to fall in love with your signifigant other and on a scale of 1-10, how happy are you? 10+ being you cant live without her.
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    motiv8er-


    This is an interesting question and I will share my personal expierence with you. First off we (meaning EVERYONE) needs to get on the understanding that NOTHING in life is guaranteed. I mean think about it, no guarantee you'll live to tommorow, or in this case find your significant other. So I guess to answer your question there is no time limit.......that is if it ever happens.

    I've realized this reality from a younger age and had been actively looking for someone. I had met my current girlfriend 2 years ago and it has been the best expierence in my life. I would rate it clearly a 10 if not higher because it has been what I've been wanting out of a relationship and someone in my life.

    Sure Hugh Hefner is a baller and has lots of money and girls, but who knows if he is really happy ? There are a lot of people 50 + that divorce or die without ever finding the person they truely connected with and I don't want to be like that.

    Not side tracking here either, but I also am natural and don't take orals other than natural stuff because I know my safety concerns my girlfriend and others so I guess that's something I'm willing to do for her.


    p.s. No I'm not having high estrogen levels...j/k
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    4 years lol but then again i am a special case currently i am at a 9.5 after i wed this guy i will know its for real and be a 10 lol
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    I don't think it's something you can pin down with a specific time and date as to when and where you felt like you could utter the love word. It always starts with a slight attraction to someone else, and as the relationship gets older the feelings gradually get stronger(or weaker). I could never put a date on which I felt love, it just sneaks up on you and one day its everywhere.... weird I know. You could say love starts from the beginning and the growth of the relationship constitutes a stronger bond with the word love. At some point you begin to realize the person you are with is different from all the others and you actually like it. For me it was during undergrad when I had about 20bucks to my name and i took this girl I was dating out to dinner thinking she would be like all the other girls and order something along the lines of a garden salad and a water. To my surprise she looked at me and said "Man I'm hungry" and order a whole entree complete with appetizers AND dessert. Granted I turned into the one having to order a glass of water and eat the free crackers just so I could afford the meal, it still made me think of this girl as someone different and something that I liked above all the others.

    Did that classify as the moment I fell in love... no, but it put some extra kick into what I thought about the relationship and defenitely gave it a little growth.
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    I dunno. My first wife I met in college, liked her, dated a couple years, lived together a couple of years, got married and were divorced in less than 2 years.

    My wife today and I met in May 95 working together, started dating in june after I fired her I proposed in july, got married in august, pregnant in september and are still married today.

    I'd probably rate it a 8 overall, cause there is always something that could be better in any relationship, even if its yourself

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    about 3 minutes to fall in love and about 3 weeks to get up the gut to tell her and 3 months to propose. getting married in september so.. scale of 1-10 = 10
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    I can't say that it's possible to put a time on it... I've been in 'love' (and when I say that, I say true love) probably twice... maybe up to four times, but PROBABLY twice... the first was obviously my first love... and that took around 2 weeks before I was in over my head... It's been 3 years since the breakup, and I still love her to an extent, not like it was, just that if she trips and falls, I will pick her up love... The second one, which is actually the most recent, is currently my best friend, we dated for a long time, and she moved, so we did the long distance thing, and it wasn't my cup of tea, so we decided to leave things be as friends... well I have this (call it a feeling?) < > that we are both still totally in love with eachother, and I would say that it only took a few hours with her before I felt that way... The other two that are 'questionable' in terms of 'love', well, one was a 7 monther with a great girl, just a little off in terms of priorities and goals, and I wouldn't say it was true love, more along the lines of, I'm hurt and need love 'love', on both parts. (which took probably 1 month) The other one.. well it was an ex girlfriend that moved back, and found me, and well, we ended up dating, and I would say it was more of a playful joking love, nothing serious kind of love, and it took months before I felt that way, it was more of a 'fun to hang out with you' kind of feeling, call it friends.

    EDIT: Coincidentally enough, I just end up talking to the 'call it friends' girl, wished her happy birthday and all that good stuff... and you know... there may have been something there... hmmmmm. lol
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    Quote Originally Posted by brywal312 View Post
    about 3 minutes to fall in love and about 3 weeks to get up the gut to tell her and 3 months to propose. getting married in september so.. scale of 1-10 = 10
    Sounds like it was a smash and grab job.
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    I think the moment happens whenever there is a time of need and you realize that they are the one that you need for consolation and support or vice-versa. Once you both hit that certain wavelength, then it is all good from that time until the end.
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    It depends on if you have a ****ed up view on what love is supposed to be or not. Love is hardly a well defined word but my answer is that it takes as long as it takes for you to reach your definition of love.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rodja View Post
    I think the moment happens whenever there is a time of need and you realize that they are the one that you need for consolation and support or vice-versa. Once you both hit that certain wavelength, then it is all good from that time until the end.
    Thats almost perfectly it, and as gay as it sounds the line from Jerry McGuire pretty well covers it, the deaf couple in the elevator "You complete me" part. Theres no rhyme or reason to it, but when you realize that she does complete you, thats the moment.
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    Quote Originally Posted by EasyEJL View Post
    Thats almost perfectly it, and as gay as it sounds the line from Jerry McGuire pretty well covers it, the deaf couple in the elevator "You complete me" part. Theres no rhyme or reason to it, but when you realize that she does complete you, thats the moment.
    As cheesy and lame as it is, you just know when the time is right. I have no problem telling a girl that I love them because I do not run from emotions. I feel like if I cannot be honest with myself then I cannot be honest with anyone.
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    I'll put it this way. As a general rule, I don't believe I've ever said "I love you" within the first 3 months - regardless of how I felt inside.

    When I say it - I mean it - it's true and real.

    I'm not saying ppl who say it earlier don't mean it either, but I find anything earlier than that can be scary. Not everyone falls in love at the same time. Saying it when the other isn't ready to hear it isn't always a good thing. There isn't much harm in waiting - if a woman wants to leave me because I won't say it within 3 months - then I feel she never truly loved me in the first place.
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    Good question, is she:

    1. Wearing short shorts?

    2. You are getting a good upskirt shot?

    3. She is a C, D cup plus?

    4. She starts the conversation with " do you like anal?"

    LOL
    ============================== ================
    Seriously:

    1. Met at a christmas party.

    2. Starting talking for about a month on messenger then "why don't you come over" to her and she did.

    3. Within three months discussed marriage.

    4. Engaged at six months

    5. Married by one year

    6. Married to current date ( 5yrs so far )

    Relationship & love: 10+

    Sex, variety & frequency: 7

    This woman truly makes me whole, inspires me to become more and still loves me after I A) pick my nose and eat it B) clean my ears with my underwear after getting out of the shower C) experiencing the stench from my backside at the unholiest of times!

    She is a 10!
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    Some really good point guys. Yeah sure, talking about love might be cheesy. But at some point we ALL have it cross our mind. For me, I am always fighting to keep a foot on the ground, as my head is always in the clouds.

    I was really curious to see if there was really instant loves that were good, or just hormones. Kind of what I am facing right now. I had what I would call a once in a life time night last night, and am trying to keep part of me from floating from the high of the night with her.

    Thanks for the input.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunder View Post
    I'll put it this way. As a general rule, I don't believe I've ever said "I love you" within the first 3 months - regardless of how I felt inside.
    i have to agree with you on that one... i run, far away, very quickly if the three word sentence comes out to fast. its hard for me to believe that people can fall into absolute, definite, positive, lifelong, true love in such a short amount of time. i have a feeling that people that do fall in love too easily will just as easily fall in the with the next fish, just as they did with me. i've had two guys before kwyck tell me that they loved me. one told me after a week.....GAG!!! and the other told me after 3 DAYS

    as far as time goes... its a very individual thing, although as mentioned previously, i dont belive that it happens too quickly (although i know many of you probably disagree with me).

    i dated a guy for two years and during those two years, NEVER did i say to him that i loved him, and i never even for the slightest second, believed that i love him even a little bit. kwyck and i said the "i love you's" at 7 months and then knew that we wanted to get married about a month after that..... and we are still together 5.5 years strong (not married due to financial reasons).

    i rate my relationship a 1,000,000,000,000,000
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Gimpy! View Post
    i've had two guys before kwyck tell me that they loved me. one told me after a week.....GAG!!! and the other told me after 3 DAYS
    Could also be because it is generally thought to be a surefire way to get in a girls pants...
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    Quote Originally Posted by motiv8er View Post
    I was really curious to see if there was really instant loves that were good, or just hormones. Kind of what I am facing right now. I had what I would call a once in a life time night last night, and am trying to keep part of me from floating from the high of the night with her.

    Thanks for the input.
    Here I am about to go to supercheesy level, but there is no way to tell if it will work if you don't try. Supressing the feeling or pretending you dont feel that way just guarantees it won't work, because you aren't being honest with yourself or her.

    Really it working out over the long haul is more about both of you making a real choice to stay committed to each other. If you do that, it doesn't matter whether you fell in love as your eyes first met, or it took years. The end result is the same.
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    I've been in love three times. The first two ended in divorce. When I married them, I was very much in love with them.

    The first developed severe depression and wouldn't get help for it. She thought bringing kids into our relationship would make everything all better. I was not going to allow that to happen and no longer trusted her to stay on the pill.

    The second became a raging alcoholic. I suported her through three treatment programs. She cheated on me during the third one. She left me for the other person for a couple months. I decided it would be worth it to try again as I loved her so much. She cheated on me again, and told me that spending time with me was an inefficient use of her time.

    I'm with my third wife now and love her very deeply. Do I love her as much as I could? I'm not sure. The pain from the second marriage is hard to forget.

    My wife now is an incredible person. But that fear of something happening is hard to shake. Maybe after more years go by with us together, that will start to disappear completely.

    People change. Just hope that you both change in the right direction for each other, or there cold be problems.
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRUNCH View Post
    People change. Just hope that you both change in the right direction for each other, or there cold be problems.
    You just reminded me of a quote

    Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.
    - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    I always thought it meant doing her doggie style over a balcony rail, but from what you said maybe it means something else
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    Quote Originally Posted by motiv8er View Post
    Some really good point guys. Yeah sure, talking about love might be cheesy. But at some point we ALL have it cross our mind.
    I think it's about time us guys (and girls on this board) talk about it. I'm quite sure most girls talk about it amongst themselves all the time - no wonder they always seem 2 steps ahead of us when it comes to relationship stuff, lol.

    How the heck are we supposed to know otherwise? Sure, we all know how to deadlift properly, eat properly, program the VCR and change the oil - but when it comes to one of the most life-impacting things (love), we get all quiet....probably because none of us really knows the right answers, lol...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunder View Post
    I think it's about time us guys (and girls on this board) talk about it. I'm quite sure most girls talk about it amongst themselves all the time - no wonder they always seem 2 steps ahead of us when it comes to relationship stuff, lol.

    How the heck are we supposed to know otherwise? Sure, we all know how to deadlift properly, eat properly, program the VCR and change the oil - but when it comes to one of the most life-impacting things (love), we get all quiet....probably because none of us really knows the right answers, lol...
    The main thing is that it is very difficult to relay the message with just words and emoticons. I know that one of my problems is getting how I feel into words and mannerisms. That being said, I agree that we should talk more freely about it, but our gender role is not exactly taught to be open with this topic.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Gimpy! View Post
    i rate my relationship a 1,000,000,000,000,000
    After 5.5 years - and you still gave that answer - it almost puts a tear in my eye. That's a beautiful thing.

    Then again, I get the same feeling watching the contemporary dances on "So You Think You Can Dance", so maybe it's just time for me to take some anti-estrogen pills, lol.

    But seriously - I'd love to hear a girl say that about me after 5.5 yrs together. Well, let me rephrase that with a little more brutal honesty - I'd love to hear a girl that looks as good as Mrs. Gimpy! say that too me.

    (Since becoming single a few months ago from a 7/8 yr relationship, I've had a sudden increase in....ahem...larger and older women express things to me... I'm told that's what I get for being such a nice and approachable guy. It just comes across as desperate to me at how aggressive they can be. How come I don't have any insecure hot young things saying stupid things to me, lol? Ok, that was off topic and just friendly venting. :P)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rodja View Post
    The main thing is that it is very difficult to relay the message with just words and emoticons. I know that one of my problems is getting how I feel into words and mannerisms. That being said, I agree that we should talk more freely about it, but our gender role is not exactly taught to be open with this topic.

    Its sort of like computer programming. If you aren't given the tools and trained how to use the language, you have a much harder time getting it to work....

    Ooooh can someone guess what song this line is from?

    "No instructions when I was handed this device"
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunder View Post
    But seriously - I'd love to hear a girl say that about me after 5.5 yrs together.
    aww thanks sunder. i hope that everyone finds the same kind of happiness that me and kwyck have. im very fortunate to have found him at such a young age.

    honestly i kid you not, in real life, people that dont know me and kwyck well, look at us and have actually asked if we just started dating... things just keep getting better even thought it seems impossible to improve on something that's so awesome.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunder View Post
    I've had a sudden increase in....ahem...larger and older women express things to me... I'm told that's what I get for being such a nice and approachable guy. It just comes across as desperate to me at how aggressive they can be.
    doesnt that get....boring? when i was younger i enjoyed that kind of desparation that some people would show.... but it was so boring.... and then scary when they would say i love you....
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    Quote Originally Posted by brywal312 View Post
    Could also be because it is generally thought to be a surefire way to get in a girls pants...
    i dont know what kind of girls would go for that theory (saying i love you in less than a month = nooky) except for these kinds...


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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Gimpy! View Post
    i dont know what kind of girls would go for that theory (saying i love you in less than a month = nooky) except for these kinds...
    I caught myself saying it in response from time to time... I've only initiated it twice, the other two girls took it upon themselves to say it first. I won't say it first unless I mean it, but when I respond to it, I eventually start believing myself... does this make me a patho?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Gimpy! View Post
    i dont know what kind of girls would go for that theory (saying i love you in less than a month = nooky) except for these kinds...


    AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOUR EVIL!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by EasyEJL View Post
    You just reminded me of a quote

    - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    I always thought it meant doing her doggie style over a balcony rail, but from what you said maybe it means something else
    Man oh man I loll'd at that, that was ****in golden! "I thought" .....oh my

    I wanted to rep you but have to wait a bit.....thanks for the lol dood!

    ============================== ==

    My love with my wife developed over time and deepens as we go on. She amazes me almost on a daily basis,I truly feel loved and blessed that somebody as wonderful as she is could love me!

    Not long with some o these

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    I've been with my current gf for 3 months now and she is amazing, i fell inlove with her super fast and she fell just as hard for me, now we see each other everyday, if i don't see her or i'm not with her i feel like i'm missing a part of me, like a 3rd arm, lol a 105lb arm lol. I am most definitely at a 10, i can see myself marrying this girl it's crazy.
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    it could be the second you first kiss them or it could take awhile and lots of work and understanding.
    either way love is an amazing this when it first happens.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Gimpy! View Post
    i rate my relationship a 1,000,000,000,000,000
    Hmm....he only rated the relationship at a 999,999,999,999,999. Sounds like you two need to talk.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chad View Post
    it could be the second you first kiss them or it could take awhile and lots of work and understanding.
    either way love is an amazing thing when it first happens.
    Love IS an amazing thing!

    I fell in love with Chad so fast, and never once thought twice about it! Like everyone else said you can't put a limit to falling in love, it's a feeling you get only with the right one!

    my love is a 10. no plus only because once again i agree, there is always something more to make things better!

    Always and Forever!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Gimpy! View Post
    i dated a guy for two years and during those two years, NEVER did i say to him that i loved him, and i never even for the slightest second, believed that i love him even a little bit. kwyck and i said the "i love you's" at 7 months and then knew that we wanted to get married about a month after that..... and we are still together 5.5 years strong (not married due to financial reasons).

    i rate my relationship a 1,000,000,000,000,000
    The previous long term before kwyck was for 2 yrs. So at the most you were 14.5yo. If you are with kwyck for 5.5 yrs you have been with him since you were 16.5yo. and 7 months after you met, at 17, you were in love and wanted to get married? Have I got my facts straight?

    Now you live happily ever after, right? Didn't I just see that story on the Disney Channel.?

    Love is a great feeling when you are in it. Marriage is a lot of work. You can be in both at seperate times, and quite honestly, sometimes you may even happen to be in both simultaniously, for a brief moment or two. Good luck to you both
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    Quote Originally Posted by motiv8er View Post
    How much time did it take for you to fall in love with your signifigant other and on a scale of 1-10, how happy are you? 10+ being you cant live without her.
    For me, falling in love with and can't live without someone is not really how the relationship with my wife is. I think off "falling" in love in the same way I would think of falling down the stairs or falling off a chair. If you are in the psoition of walking up or down the stairs or sitting up on a chair it need be in a way that is stable and grounded. The falling happens when either you are not stable or grounded or well planted upon you feet or ass. The absence of a state of control or a state of instability. This why we don't run on the stairs and we sitting in our chairs on all four legs. So we don't fall.

    Now of course I love my wife today. The when and where I came to that place of feeling love for her I do not recall. Today I make a decision based on a stable and grounded position within myself to love her. My love for her is a demonstartion and not very often a feeling or something I am out of control over. I choose to act and demonstrate my love. I give my love because I decided to.

    Once I made the decision to commit my love to my wife it has to be completely unconditional. It can not and should not be based upon how I feel about her or it at any given moment.

    Additionally, my happines is not based on my feeling of love for or from my wife. Those are unrealistic expectations of what love is and why I commited my love to her. It is terribly selfish and ureasonable for me to place the burden of my happiness on my love for or from my wife. My happiness is from within me and should be independent of that commitment.

    So my happines has been a 0 to a 10 while I have been with her. A bigfat ZERO on can't live without her. I could live just fine without her. But I would loose out on having my best friend in my bed with me every night. As you know a married man has few friends he can sleep with.

    Now, on the other hand. I fell face down in love with my daughter(s) the day she was born. I have been completely and uncontrollably in love with her from the moment I caught her from the birth canal. Again, my feelings for her change from time to time because over the 19yrs of being her father she has mad me crazy from time to time. There are times that I very much dislike what she is doing or how she is behaving. But, she can still take my breath away with a look or a word or absolutely nothing at all. That love is the only love that I have fallen into. I have no control at all over it and the decision was completely out of my hands
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    Bless you B--
    My The 1 LOG: http://anabolicminds.com/forum/steroids/254164-my-one-log.html
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    Quote Originally Posted by dsade View Post
    Hmm....he only rated the relationship at a 999,999,999,999,999. Sounds like you two need to talk.
    No. That's the way I prefer it. Me owns her.

    Most people never fall past infatuation and into love. For the most part love is a set of socially constructed actions. In most relationships, people never treat each other with "love" more than "some of the time".

    I'd also say that most people want to believe in fairy tale love, which is ridiculous, and they basically always force themselves to fall in love. This is most peoples problem and this is why I'd say that most people claim to be in love waaaaaaay before they know anything about it.

    Anyway, "how much time does it take to fall in love?" is kind of a dumb question because you cannot put a time on it since the experience is obviously going to be different for everyone and there is not "threshold" point where you go from not in love to in love.

    Figure out when you think you're in love, and use your brain about it. Feelings are very complex and a person can make them out to be whatever they want those feelings to be.
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    [QUOTE=B5150;868877]The previous long term before kwyck was for 2 yrs. So at the most you were 14.5yo. If you are with kwyck
    Quote Originally Posted by B5150 View Post
    for 5.5 yrs you have been with him since you were 16.5yo. and 7 months after you met, at 17, you were in love and wanted to get married? Have I got my facts straight?
    hey! just because im young, has nothing to do with it. maturity is not a number. my "measly" (as you are implying) relationship at 14 was mature enough to know what love was NOT. How many other 14 year olds or even 40 year olds, would have been with someone for that long and not declared love? hardly anyone. and yes i was 16 years old when i met kwyck and was sure that i wanted to be with him and wanted to marry him later BUT we had the common sense to not get married until we had a financial base!

    Quote Originally Posted by B5150 View Post
    Now you live happily ever after, right? Didn't I just see that story on the Disney Channel.?

    As young as i am, I truly dont see how my AGE and love matters. if you want to try to gauge my so called "disney" channel perceptions, maybe you should step back and look at things how things are instead of looking at stupid immature, irrelevant issues and comparing them to disney (that in itself to me is immaturity). i really dont appreciate being degraded and judged about my maturity and intelligence.

    When everyone at all ages declare love left and right, i truly understand what love is, even when most would assume it is love. at the age of 16 when everyone wanted to be a makeup artist, interior designer, etc... i decided i wanted to be a dental hygienist for practical reasons (the most amount of pay for the shortest amount of school). while in highschool i planned out my entire college career (all college courses) to the "T" and knew exactly, by semester when and how id be out of college and have done everything exactly to plan. i have an online investing portfolio that does extremely well, because i study investing along side with my education....so regardless of age, yes i will have the fairytale life (as you like to see things b5150) without having everything happen the disney/fairytale way. my love, my finances, my LIFE will be perfect because I will MAKE it that way.


    Quote Originally Posted by B5150 View Post
    Love is a great feeling when you are in it. Marriage is a lot of work. You can be in both at seperate times, and quite honestly, sometimes you may even happen to be in both simultaniously, for a brief moment or two. Good luck to you both
    as many of you can probably see, me and kwyck have a great relationship that isnt simple based on that "fuzzy" feeling. quite frankly, me and kwyck have a much better relationship than most people. We both complement each other.
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    Fell in true love once and it took me 10 months to find out. I found out how much I loved when a hot chick approached me at a party but all I could think of was my now ex-gf.

    OTOH, I'm way too happy as a single man who dates and has casual relationships with women and I think this gives me a reason not to fall in love these days.
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    Well, I wanted to Thank Motiv8er and everybody in this thread... I made a HUGE decision last night and decided to try and get back together with the girl I love and I think things are going well.. So I'm very pleased. Thanks again to everyone, cuz without you, holding this trophy wouldnt be possible!! LOL
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