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Iron Warrior

Iron Warrior

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I got this from LYONS at SSB and found this pretty entertaining. Enjoy !

I found these on some other boards and they made me laugh, so I thought I would post them. Enjoy…





Quote:
“You can take hcg intra vaneous, intra muscular or sub cutaneous. I have only tried intra muscular but at the end of the cycle I'm on now I'm gonna try intravaneous.

I know that subcutaneous injections are absorbed faster while intra muscular takes more time because of the fat depots. Or it could be the other way around. But I do know for fact that one is absorbed quicker than the other. Also, I'm guessing that intra-vaneous is the quickest way since it goes directly to your blood stream.”



Quote:
“Hi, i started taking sustanon250 about 6 week ago. Ive never used it before. The other night i caught some guys breaking into my car, I thought now was my chance so i flexed up and went outside expecting the sustanon to take over. I ended up getting my arse kicked. What is going on? I thought steroids make you able to fight??”



Quote:
“You can last longer if you practice maserbating then holding off before you orgasm and maserabte some more hold off and so on... Works for me I can go 6 hours sometimes.”



Quote:
“As a matter of fact I remember most of my diet that I used because it took so dang long to figure out....... even though it is very simple.
I started 14 weeks prior, and here is what I did.
Every morning I did cardio before breakfast, sprints as a matter of fact! Then I ate a large bowl of Rice Chex, with a banna to follow. At lunch I at 5 chicken strips from KFC alon with water. Between lunch and dinner, I snacked on pumkin seeds, and when dinner rolled around it was another bowl of checks and maybe a protien shake.
A couple hours later I ate Chicken Chow mein from Lean Cuisine. That's all I did for 10 weeks....... and the remaining four weeks I did I loaded carbs for one week, and droped the next week, and repeated. In the carb load phase, the only thing I did different than the diet I just mentioned was, I added 3 more bowls of Rice Chex thourghout the day, and when I cut back, I substitued the chex with and low carb meal I could come up with like, lean ground beef.
My current diet is pretty much like the carb up I mentioned, I simply eat Rice Chex throughout the day and KFC.”



Quote:
“Hi there! This thread may sound kind of stupid but maybe a solutuion to gain 12 pounds of bodyweight. Does it make any good for male bodybuilders to take "the pill" you know that drug that women use for not to get pregnant, I am asking this cause every women that I know increase their weight while they use the pill, any feedback, please dont write no hype.”
Thanks




Quote:
“Today I injected sust and deca into my left delt I pulled the thing back to see if it filled with blood which is really hard when it's in your shoulder but no blood came out So I injected it then waiting a little to make sure it absorbed cuz I put the needle in like half way then took it out and some blood came out so I cleaned it up Anyway later that day I took a **** and I felt something pouring out of my ass like water or something when I was done I looked in the toilet and I saw oil floating in the water that looked like the juice I injected I injected it on an empty stomache but I don't know why I **** it out Does that mean the shot was wasted?”



Quote:
“I knew a 13, yes, 13 y/o kid that was putting up 315 on the flat bench. I'm pretty sure at 13 and puttin up 315, your not just taking protien. He wasnt fat either. Probaly about 165.”



Quote:
“My cycle consisted of:
Tren A 525/wk for 8 weeks
Test C 250/wk for 9 weeks
HCG every 4 days 250-500 till day before pct
PCT: Clomid till recovered

Now I also did something stupid. Instead of hiding my hcg at home.. I hid it in the fridge at work in pre loaded syringes in a plastic container. Anyone could have access to it and poke themselves on purpose if they have a disease and have a grudge against me. Now Im thinking the worst like Aids or HIV...”



Quote:
Air into a vein....?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“A friend of mine accidentally shot 2 or 3 cc's of air into a vein and felt all wierd. He was practicing using a needle for the 1st time for his up & coming first cycle. I know he hit a vein because of the bruising around the area and his reaction 30 seconds later. (yes, dumbass).
Anyway, we got on the subject and so i thought i would ask you guys on here, we have a 30cc syringe from making our own tren and the question is if 30cc's of air went into a vein, would that kill you or not??”



Quote:
“Nothing is really wrong that he is using steroids at 140. However using orals are. Ones liver is proportional to once size...meaning...small liver-harder use of it. But it is important to try to maximize your potential as much as u can naturally”.



Quote:
“Is Dbol Short For Durabolin”



Quote:
“So, I finally got my gear and PCT. I'm ready psychologically for my first injection (I hate F*&% needles) when I discover that the needle won't penetrate the vial. The test is legit but I can't get the vial open. I think it's made of glass. Any ideas?”



Quote:
“this may sound crazy but i am planning to inject a single shot of 100mg test prop to boost my confidence levels as I'll be having a very important job interview in a few days. I'm planning to inject on the morning, few hours before the interview. BY the way, I have some experience dealing with AAS (have done 2 cycles previously).

Do you think 100mg of prop would do any good? If it's gonna be a single 100mg shot, this won't shut me down , correct?”
thanks



Quote:
“Concentrate on your arms and neglect other parts. It's a trade off. The nutritants will go the the over worked muscles. This is at the explense
of other muscles. Your call”.


Quote:
“deca actually puts fat into your muscle makeing it look bigger”



Quote:
I'm about to start using steroids for the first time.

If I had to put in order the things I want to gain it would be like this:
Weightloss
keep gained
mass (could easily be number 1 or 2 on my list)
strength

I'm only going to do a one month cycle.

I've been looking about getting Masteron, but I've also looked at Anavar and Androil. Any suggestions or warnings?

Also, when I'm on the steroid, would it be wise to get on a protein shake and/or drink alot of water?
I'm a noob at this, so the help would be greatly appreciated!

PS - Is there a link to some info about dieting when on steriods, or than could answer my protein/water question?

thanks!



Quote:
“Ive heard somewhere that someone did this, for a quick jolt of testosterone.
Arent the testosterone esters only formulated for injection?
Can you rub some of the oil on your gums and get any effect from it?”



Quote:
“The other option is to hit delts, but I am doing chest today, and am afraid my strength may be comprimised due to a large hole inside my delts from the 23gauage (which is all I have now anyways). I want to shoot up 3-4hours before the workout, so by then my test levels will be peaked, and I will maximize the effeciency of the juice
Let me know...im standing by...”



Quote:
“I am 27, 215lbs, 6'3 don't know my body fat but I work out 5 times a weel and do cardio 6 times a week for about 30 to 50 minutes I do have a body fat I don't know the %. I don't want to get too big my ideal weight would be 220 with 5% of body fat also I am going to be following a strict diet. Any help in this matter would be appreciated. Also I would like to know is it better to start the PCT before I start my actuall AAs or is it better to do it at the end of my cycle. I also learnt from this site to stack up the PCT before starting my initial cycle.”



Quote:
“Hi peeps, my name is Brad and im 19 years of age.

Ive been training for over a year now, and have recently started using AAS.

Im 5ft .10
86kg
14.5% body fat

Im on week 6 of my cycle, of taking 500mg / week of test e.

Just need a few pointers, im having trouble with getting my bodyfat down, ive cut out all crap food, i eat a max of 100g carbs a day (sweet bars Nutri Grain) plus the carbs contained in other meals.., with min 250g protein, yet im finding it very hard to reduce my bodyfat.

I AM on a bulking diet whilse using AAS.

Is it true that protein can turn into carbs fat if not used (whilse working out), is this the prob im having? Although i workout min 4-5 days a week in the gym.”
 
bpmartyr

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Priceless
 
DmitryWI

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Quote:
“Today I injected sust and deca into my left delt I pulled the thing back to see if it filled with blood which is really hard when it's in your shoulder but no blood came out So I injected it then waiting a little to make sure it absorbed cuz I put the needle in like half way then took it out and some blood came out so I cleaned it up Anyway later that day I took a **** and I felt something pouring out of my ass like water or something when I was done I looked in the toilet and I saw oil floating in the water that looked like the juice I injected I injected it on an empty stomache but I don't know why I **** it out Does that mean the shot was wasted?”




Quote:
“So, I finally got my gear and PCT. I'm ready psychologically for my first injection (I hate F*&% needles) when I discover that the needle won't penetrate the vial. The test is legit but I can't get the vial open. I think it's made of glass. Any ideas?”
LOL they are all priceless, but these two made my cry, I was laughing so hard.
 
TheChosen1

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As I've always said:
There's no such thing as stupid questions. Just stupid people who ask them or people who give stupid answers.
 

enzo1

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that is the funniest sh-- ever. the guy with the rice chex is great. thanks for the laughs
 
bpmartyr

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Ubiquitous

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Captain Crunch or Cinnamon Toast Crunch.... pretty much anything with a crunch..

....blows Chex out of the proverbial milk. ;)
 
somewhatgifted

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i cant get the needle in the glass, any ideas..........
lolololololol
 

Irish_Rogue

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I thought I was the only one that asked those questions.
 
Rodja

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I dont know whether to laugh it off or to shake my head...
 

DazzlinJack

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LOL CHEX GUY!! He was sayin eat chex like it's some kinda holy grail of food! As if that in itself was the key in getting buff by leaps and pounds! The key is in the Chex man, the Chex!!
 
Iron Warrior

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My favorite is the guy who took Sustanon and expected it to take over in a fight where he got his a$$ kicked LOL.

Chex guy and his diet are pretty funny. Can't believe he relied on KFC so much.

Another champion who stood out was the moron who injected Test Prop to feel confident for a job interview and then he asks if it will shut him down :icon_lol:

These guys are definitely not alpha male 4 life material so we should let them kill themselves. I guess it's stupider to try and save all stupid from themselves, we can at least get some laughs at their expense :D
 
TheChosen1

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I'm here to tell you, bros, that they're not only online. One night, I got to work and was changing into my workclothes in our locker room when I heard two of my coworkers on the other side talking about strength training. One of them is pretty new at it and pat his own back for bench pressing 240 pounds. (He even challenged me in a benching contest but that's another funny story.)

Well, I heard the newbie tell the other guy, "I would never use steroids. Guys who use steroids have to train like 4 and 5 hours in the gym and that just don't make any sense."

I continued dressing and laughed to myself at what I just heard. I didn't have the heart to tell him how wrong he was.
 
Zombie

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"I would never use steroids. Guys who use steroids have to train like 4 and 5 hours in the gym and that just don't make any sense."

wtf so im not supossed to workout that many hrs? :( . . . hold on does being here online count as working out? if it counts then im overtraining




:icon_lol:
 
TheChosen1

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wtf so im not supossed to workout that many hrs? :( . . . hold on does being here online count as working out? if it counts then im overtraining

:icon_lol:
Bro, I wanted to ask him, "If you have to workout for up to 5 hours a day, then why is it called a sports enhancement drug? Does that mean that if I'm not using it, I should workout for 8 hours?"
 
Iron Warrior

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I'm here to tell you, bros, that they're not only online. One night, I got to work and was changing into my workclothes in our locker room when I heard two of my coworkers on the other side talking about strength training. One of them is pretty new at it and pat his own back for bench pressing 240 pounds. (He even challenged me in a benching contest but that's another funny story.)

Well, I heard the newbie tell the other guy, "I would never use steroids. Guys who use steroids have to train like 4 and 5 hours in the gym and that just don't make any sense."

I continued dressing and laughed to myself at what I just heard. I didn't have the heart to tell him how wrong he was.
LMAO ignorance at its worst yet still hilarious. People like that listen to the voices in their head too much
 
nvr2loud

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That is some funny stuff. No wonder things like that get a bad rep. It is from people not doing the research before trying something.
Those were great though. I think I am going to read them again!:rofl:
 
gymrat5713

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That is some funny stuff. No wonder things like that get a bad rep. It is from people not doing the research before trying something.
Those were great though. I think I am going to read them again!:rofl:
Same here...wait actually I haven't stop readin em, they're just as good as some laughin gas.
 
sdmf45

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HOLY S*** That was the funniest s*** i've read in a long time.

So thats what i've been doin wrong :think:

OK SO HERE'S MY NEW PLAN

I need to get some DBOL which is DURABOLIN
then i need to go on the CHEX KFC diet
and for my next cycle i need to make sure that the vials are plastic so the needles will go through them
and start my PCT right away while taking "THE PILL" for optimum weight gain and make sure i get sustanon in case someone pisses me off then i will morph into Chuck Liddell and take them to school...........

It all makes sense now, i would have never figured that out on my own......
:icon_lol: :aargh: :frustrate
 

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I need to get some DBOL which is DURABOLIN
then i need to go on the CHEX KFC diet
and for my next cycle i need to make sure that the vials are plastic so the needles will go through them
and start my post cycle therapy right away while taking "THE PILL" for optimum weight gain and make sure i get sustanon in case someone pisses me off then i will morph into Chuck Liddell and take them to school...........

I was hoping that it would turn me into Chuck Norris.
:nutkick:
 
Iron Warrior

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I need to get some DBOL which is DURABOLIN
then i need to go on the CHEX KFC diet
and for my next cycle i need to make sure that the vials are plastic so the needles will go through them
and start my post cycle therapy right away while taking "THE PILL" for optimum weight gain and make sure i get sustanon in case someone pisses me off then i will morph into Chuck Liddell and take them to school...........

I was hoping that it would turn me into Chuck Norris.
:nutkick:
Chuck is the best. Chuck is the best ever at kicking a$$ :head:
 

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Woohoo! I guess it's time to buy me a dodge and move to texas. :numbered:
 
thesinner

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Bookmarked. Now I have another option (other than hard liquor and porn) to pick me up when I'm feeling down.
 
somewhatgifted

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Stupid- anyone taking lipitor while eating mcdonalds and wearing a sauna belt..... Wash down the mc d's with a DIET coke. Fizogen + muscletech = Blissful expensive ignorance.
 
spatch

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I have one from a friend of mine-

"injecting isnt the best way to go."
me- "yeah, it is."
"no its not. Look at heroin. You have to inject that and thats bad for you"

I REALLY hope he isnt that stupid.
 
pistonpump

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HOLY S*** That was the funniest s*** i've read in a long time.

So thats what i've been doin wrong :think:

OK SO HERE'S MY NEW PLAN

I need to get some DBOL which is DURABOLIN
then i need to go on the CHEX KFC diet
and for my next cycle i need to make sure that the vials are plastic so the needles will go through them
and start my post cycle therapy right away while taking "THE PILL" for optimum weight gain and make sure i get sustanon in case someone pisses me off then i will morph into Chuck Liddell and take them to school...........

It all makes sense now, i would have never figured that out on my own......
:icon_lol: :aargh: :frustrate
Oh God! You may have topped the original post!:toofunny: Well you would have never done it without them as your inspiration!...That was some funny shi...t
 
TheChosen1

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Okay, now I see what I've been doing wrong for the past 20+ years. So help me out here, bros.

When I begin the CHEX & KFC diet, can I replace KFC with Popeyes instead? I think the cayenne pepper in it would help more with my bodyfat burn.:gas:
 
Leggo my Ego

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How did I ever miss this one? Good stuff!:icon_lol:
 
jmh80

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Holy f*ckin' hell, IW. I don't know how I missed this thread. Pure gold baby.


Quote:
“Hi there! This thread may sound kind of stupid but maybe a solutuion to gain 12 pounds of bodyweight. Does it make any good for male bodybuilders to take "the pill" you know that drug that women use for not to get pregnant, I am asking this cause every women that I know increase their weight while they use the pill, any feedback, please dont write no hype.”
Thanks
:rofl:
 
Iron Warrior

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Holy f*ckin' hell, IW. I don't know how I missed this thread. Pure gold baby.



:rofl:
I have my moments every now and then. I copied that from SSB and thought I had to share it with AM :)
 
Mega NRG Man

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Chex and KFC = The food of Champions everywhere.

Now I know why I've been failing so hard. Not enough CHEX.

 
somewhatgifted

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I cannot stand people who stand on the escalators "its not a fvckin carnival ride people". I am greatly annoyed by fat people who make fun of my attempts to be healthy "why do you eat all those pills and drink that crap?" my response "well, why are you a fat slob?"
 
dlew308

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what should we be doing on the escalator? unless you mean people who don't stand to their right to let people by. In some countries, you stand to the left to let people by on the right, quite confusing.

I cannot stand people who stand on the escalators "its not a fvckin carnival ride people". I am greatly annoyed by fat people who make fun of my attempts to be healthy "why do you eat all those pills and drink that crap?" my response "well, why are you a fat slob?"
 
pistonpump

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i read this thread again and OH BOY! it makes me cry!:toofunny: :clap2:
 
bpmartyr

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Classic.
 

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