Who would be the last standing?

Who would win in an "Every Man for Himself" battle?


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thesinner

thesinner

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Hypothetical situation: Mothra, Stegosaurus, the original Power Ranger's MegaZord, and Chuck Norris engage in an every man for himself battle in downtown Tokyo.

Which one is the last to survive?
 

brittishbulldog

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its impossible to say, I could have a fight with someone weak and who was not a good fighter and still loose, one thing with real fighting is it is a game of chance, the weak inexperieced fighter might get lucky, or the experienced fighter might make a mistake get punched in his temple and hit the floor,
 
thesinner

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its impossible to say, I could have a fight with someone weak and who was not a good fighter and still loose, one thing with real fighting is it is a game of chance, the weak inexperieced fighter might get lucky, or the experienced fighter might make a mistake get punched in his temple and hit the floor,
I think you're missing the point. The point is to make a prediction; who do you think would win if such a fight were to take place. Considering the fact that two of the fighters are fictional characters, one is of an extinct species, and the other is an actor with a beard; it is impossible to hold such a fight, let alone to see who wins, but we can still sit back and ponder who might have won based upon the strengths and weaknesses of each fighter.

For example:
-Mothra can fly, but has a very low tolerance for mothballs
-MegaZord doesn't have temples, but it is a crappy robot controlled by 5 teenagers.
-A stegosaurus is powerul, but with a brain the size of an almond does not have much battle tactic.
-Chuck Norris is yet to be defeated, but the size of an ant compared to everyone else. Not to mention, if he is wearing a wool sweater, Moths eat wool.
 
not_big_enuf

not_big_enuf

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Chuck Norris owns this universe and any other universe. He is always the last and first man standing. What a ridiculous question. Whoever asked this question is going to get roundhouse kicked in the face. Guaranteed.
 
Jason Pegg

Jason Pegg

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My vote is for Mr. Rogers
Did you know Mr. Rogers was a SEAL? He was a sniper in Vietnam and Killed all sorts of people! He turned into a pacifist after the war and the TV show was the result. The reason he always wore long sleeves? He has 2 full tattoo sleeves. And Chuck Norris owns mothra, wool sweater or not!

Jason
 
prld2gr8ns

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Chuck Norris owns this universe and any other universe. He is always the last and first man standing. What a ridiculous question. Whoever asked this question is going to get roundhouse kicked in the face. Guaranteed.
:icon_lol: :rofl:
 
thesinner

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Ok, so here's my prediction:

With intent to sell more Total Gym's Christie Brinkley convincesChuck Norris to shave off his beard; accidentally nullifying his supernatural Chuck Norrisness, similar to the downfall of the biblical character of Samson. You can argue against me all you want, but deep down inside you know that a Chuck Norris without a beard is like a like a stripper without tits: worthless.

Mothra is the first to make a move. With its sites set on eliminating MegaZord, Mothra makes a sky dive towards MegaZord, spearing it in the chest. MegaZord gets knocked to the ground, landing on poor Chuck Norris, who's the first to be eliminated before he's even given a chance to fight.

MegaZord gets back up, and prepares for Mothra's second air-attack. Meanwhile, Stegosaurus is seen eating the leaves off a tree in a nearby park. As Mothra takes it's second swing at MegaZord, he is sliced in two by a brandished MegaZord Saber.

Inside the MegaZord, Kimberly finds out that Jason has been cheating on her with Zach, who at the time was seeing Trini, who was this whole time been having an affair with Alpha 5, and it was somehow brought to Billy's attention that his real parents where Zordon and a Las Vegas stripper named Persephone. (You know, typical high school drama). Anyhow, this causes a huge uproar and a scuffle amidst the MegaZord cockpit, where the emergency self-destruct button is accidentally pushed when Kimberly ***** slaps Zach, who sucker punches Billy, who tries to slip Trini the tongue; only to get kicked between the legs, causing him to back into Jason, who slips and accidentally presses emergency self-destruct in an attempt to regain his balance. Three ticks later, the MegaZord is a pile of molten metal, leaving the victorious, yet pacifist, Stegosaurus to continue eating leaves off of a local park tree.
 
Last edited:
Ubiquitous

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either Skeletor or Cobra Commander w/Destro would come in and put and end to that pussy sh1t quicklike.
 
xxtruxx1

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I think Ubi would kill all those posers by sending them nude pics of himself, much like that in his avatar. The pics would make them pass out, cause of the gayness.
 
Ubiquitous

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I think Ubi would kill all those posers by sending them nude pics of himself, much like that in his avatar. The pics would make them pass out, cause of the gayness.

We call that "wishful thinking" around here. I'm wearing pajamas in my Avy by the way. It's like your Avy, but more masculine... :D
 
somewhatgifted

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Id vote for "powdered toast man"........ "quick man cling tenaciously to my buttocks"
 
Mach .78

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If a Mirko LHK and Chuck Norris Roundhouse connected with each other would it end all life as we know it?
Can you imagine? Like Godzilla against Ultraman. Lasers and helicopters and tiny little Japanese soldiers running around. If those guys met and were that big and then connected to top it off?

We'd just be tiny pieces of pink bubble gum smashed on the sidewalk.

Cougar understands. You people just don't know! Now run far from this place and don't look back!
 
motiv8er

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We call that "wishful thinking" around here. I'm wearing pajamas in my Avy by the way. It's like your Avy, but more masculine... :D
A sock on your pocket puppet doesnt constitute a PJ Holmes, thats a BJ!
 
not_big_enuf

not_big_enuf

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Chuck Norris would kill Godzilla. He'd roundhouse kick that big b1tch about 300 times in a second and it'd be over. Chuck Norris would then go to sleep until he decided to start another World War.
 
not_big_enuf

not_big_enuf

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Ok, so here's my prediction:

With intent to sell more Total Gym's Christie Brinkley convincesChuck Norris to shave off his beard; accidentally nullifying his supernatural Chuck Norrisness, similar to the downfall of the biblical character of Samson. You can argue against me all you want, but deep down inside you know that a Chuck Norris without a beard is like a like a stripper without tits: worthless.

Mothra is the first to make a move. With its sites set on eliminating MegaZord, Mothra makes a sky dive towards MegaZord, spearing it in the chest. MegaZord gets knocked to the ground, landing on poor Chuck Norris, who's the first to be eliminated before he's even given a chance to fight.

MegaZord gets back up, and prepares for Mothra's second air-attack. Meanwhile, Stegosaurus is seen eating the leaves off a tree in a nearby park. As Mothra takes it's second swing at MegaZord, he is sliced in two by a brandished MegaZord Saber.

Inside the MegaZord, Kimberly finds out that Jason has been cheating on her with Zach, who at the time was seeing Trini, who was this whole time been having an affair with Alpha 5, and it was somehow brought to Billy's attention that his real parents where Zordon and a Las Vegas stripper named Persephone. (You know, typical high school drama). Anyhow, this causes a huge uproar and a scuffle amidst the MegaZord cockpit, where the emergency self-destruct button is accidentally pushed when Kimberly ***** slaps Zach, who sucker punches Billy, who tries to slip Trini the tongue; only to get kicked between the legs, causing him to back into Jason, who slips and accidentally presses emergency self-destruct in an attempt to regain his balance. Three ticks later, the MegaZord is a pile of molten metal, leaving the victorious, yet pacifist, Stegosaurus to continue eating leaves off of a local park tree.
Nice thought, but the problem is that Chuck Norris' beard can not be shaved. It's been attempted even by Chuck himself. Even he can not shave his own beard. He was born with that beard and it won't come off. It's impossible. If someone could possibly get one strand of hair off of his beard that would end this world as we know it. It would be cloned and life everywhere as we know it would end.

Everything else seems plausible in your theory though. Ultimately though, Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick Stegosaurus in the throat and that would be that. ANy other outcome would just be..............ridiculous.
 
thesinner

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Nice thought, but the problem is that Chuck Norris' beard can not be shaved. It's been attempted even by Chuck himself. Even he can not shave his own beard. He was born with that beard and it won't come off. It's impossible. If someone could possibly get one strand of hair off of his beard that would end this world as we know it. It would be cloned and life everywhere as we know it would end.

Everything else seems plausible in your theory though. Ultimately though, Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick Stegosaurus in the throat and that would be that. ANy other outcome would just be..............ridiculous.

So you're saying that when megazord gets up off of Chuck Norris, Chuck and his beard are both unscathed by its crushing force. The idea crossed my mind, but sometimes I think my affinity for the underdog affects the accuracy of my predictions.
 
not_big_enuf

not_big_enuf

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So you're saying that when megazord gets up off of Chuck Norris, Chuck and his beard are both unscathed by its crushing force. The idea crossed my mind, but sometimes I think my affinity for the underdog affects the accuracy of my predictions.
I too want to root for the underdog with ALMOST every fiber of my being. However, when the underdog is facing Chuck Norris... well, it's just absurd to think he has any chance unfortunately. Chuck Norris, in all his omnipotence, is simply undefeatable. We should both get roundhouse kicked in the face for even having passing thoughts of any other outcome.
 
thesinner

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I too want to root for the underdog with ALMOST every fiber of my being. However, when the underdog is facing Chuck Norris... well, it's just absurd to think he has any chance unfortunately. Chuck Norris, in all his omnipotence, is simply undefeatable. We should both get roundhouse kicked in the face for even having passing thoughts of any other outcome.

Since Chuck Norris is omnipotent, wouldn't he wield the necessary power to remove his beard?
 
not_big_enuf

not_big_enuf

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Since Chuck Norris is omnipotent, wouldn't he wield the necessary power to remove his beard?
One would think. Perhaps his beard and Chuck Norris are BOTH omnipotent, hmmm? Actually, I think his beard is more like a birth mark, something that is just there and can not be removed.
 
Ubiquitous

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I renege on my Destro/Cobra Commander/Skeletor post and confidently insert Kwai Chang Caine from Kung Fu as the ultimate warrior in this match.
 
Mach .78

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One would think. Perhaps his beard and Chuck Norris are BOTH omnipotent, hmmm? Actually, I think his beard is more like a birth mark, something that is just there and can not be removed.
Regarding the beard.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

I hope this helps.
 
Mega NRG Man

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Send Big Boss(or Snake, whichever you prefer) in. Then it's a fair fight.

 
somewhatgifted

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Tony jaa in a trio with the three titty lady and quato from total recall. tony for his physical skills, quato for his psychic skills, and damn man three titties!!!
 
Mach .78

Mach .78

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Tony jaa in a trio with the three titty lady and quato from total recall. tony for his physical skills, quato for his psychic skills, and damn man three titties!!!
Send in your girl and her friend in with them, and you've got more attitude and 7 titties. Call it "Total Distraction". Yes, I rule.
 

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