I did a stupid thing with a close thing.
- 10-09-2006, 08:14 PM
I did a stupid thing with a close thing.
Ok, i know this girl for a while now. first she was my class mate, then we baecame friends. I asked here for a date onse and she said yes. After that date she avoided me for a while, then started to be friendly. I like this girl alot, but she kinda gave me a sign that she wants only to stay as friends. Problem is i see this girl every where, we share a project at school, we work at same job, and we have common frineds. And recently i was assigned to trin here, so i cant avoid seeing here.
Recently i was kinda pushy, and told here straight that i love here, and siad that that some stuff that made me look like a fool. She said again that she just want to be friends, but now i feel kinda embarssed. I want to forget about here but i cant..i see here every where i go, plus after what i told here that i like here, i feel realy strange when i talk to here. I feel realy jelouse when she talks to other guys also. what should i do!!!
i was in similar situation before, but i moved on, because i was able to avoid the person, but now i cant. I dont want to loose here as a friend, but i want to move on to other things
here Birthday is comming soon, and i want to buy here a present, but i feel kinda awkward. Should i or shouldnt i buy here i gift.
- 10-09-2006, 08:18 PM
10-09-2006, 08:22 PM
uh, i wish that was that easy....i cant forget here, she is in my face all the time.Originally Posted by Ziricote
10-09-2006, 08:27 PM
10-09-2006, 09:52 PM
Dude - I wouldn't be all that friendly. Reason why is that I bet you being friendly to her (even in a "non-dating" or "non-sexual" way) means coming on to her in her mind.
I'd avoid her - not be cold or whatever, just not talk to her all that much.
In the end - I'd move on out of the situation of being around her as soon as possible (new job?) - because it sounds like it's really screwing with your mind.
10-09-2006, 09:57 PM
Originally Posted by Ziricote
Amen ... I've been there before. I know it's hard but you just gotta do it.
10-09-2006, 10:40 PM
Xmuscle, you posted the same thread months ago, people gave you tons of advice and you didn't listen to anybody. And now you are asking for more advice?
C'mon, dude, move on. And learn how to spell. how old are you, 15?
Here is the thread, btw.
10-09-2006, 11:11 PM
10-09-2006, 11:53 PM
10-10-2006, 01:35 AM
Originally Posted by DmitryWI
Sorry bro.....i know this sounds immature, i been in situation like that for so longÖÖ. I feel this **** is missing up my head. Im seriously thinking of getting a new job now, which I donít want toÖ..uh. im not a weak person or anything, but I always feel like a little girl when im around this chick.
**** ...... anyways, this board is the only place i can get some advice from.
i will just hit the gym hard and try to mve on i guess
10-10-2006, 01:48 AM
You might see if your school has a counseling office. Someone there might be able to help you sort out your feelings and develop effective coping strategies.
As for now, no present. Treat her witht he common courtesies that you'd treat any other aquaintence but she's ade it clear that any other level of attention is unwanted.
10-10-2006, 01:55 AM
Thanx bro, for some reason i feel better after reading this thread......... She told me that here birthday is comming before i said the stupid stuff, i just dont want be rude and completly ignore her, i may just call and say happy birthday, and that it.Originally Posted by yeahright
10-10-2006, 02:22 AM
The first step is wanting help, and it's clear all you want is to get with this chick.
News flash, it isn't happening.
10-10-2006, 07:15 AM
If you can control your emotions and come to the conclusion that a dating relationship between the two of you will never be, then I say keep her around as a friend. She may be a good source to get you hooked up with other chicks. However, if you are stuck on her and continually think you have a chance at being with this chick, then I say cut her loose. All it will do is drive you crazy and cause you to do some psycho crap that you will regret in the long run. Not to mention probably get you locked up for stalking or worse.
10-10-2006, 08:48 AM
10-10-2006, 08:50 AM
10-10-2006, 03:17 PM
Sounds like you have a tendancy to crush and obsess.
I'd be willing to wager money that you probably don't really know this girl deep down all that well. I'm also betting that if you would just step back, you'd see that this wasn't love it was infatuation. UNfortunately, it's also likely you won't realise it until you get yourself a relationship that lasts and you can really find out what love is.
The reason I say this is because it sounds like how I was in highschool. I'd see a girl I liked and I'd get infatuated and it would grow into obsession. I'd whip out the 4 letter "L" word when I had no right to nor was it even remotely appropriate or true (but I didn't realise it). All it caused was a lot of alienation and awkwardness.
Take this advice: if she is saying she only wants to be friends, that's just to be nice. She does NOT want to be friends. She doesn't want to have anything to do with you because when you said you loved her that creeped her the #### out. TRUST ME.
I know it hurts, but you need to seriously step back and think about this logically. AND STOP OBSESSING. First step to stopping an obsession is to stop having little fantasies and daydreams about scenarios between you and her. Don't deny it, I know you do. Stop having those.
You know what you really need? A crappy relationship. A relationship that YOU end. You need to date a girl and find out you don't like her. That's the real therapy you need. Find a hot chick who is a stuck up b!tch and date her. When you get so sick of her you can't stand her anymore, dump her and then you'll realise how silly you were for being infatuated with those other girls.
10-10-2006, 03:30 PM
10-10-2006, 08:00 PM
Originally Posted by Nullifidian
I just stepped in room, and she was there; I stepped out without saying hi. I thought that was rude, but after reading your post i think that i made the right decision.
I think you may be right I was kinda obsessing, I hope I didnít creep her out, since I must work with her, well atleast for now. But today I found myself trying to flert with other girls, something I didnít try in a while.
10-10-2006, 09:56 PM
Good man!Originally Posted by x_muscle
I know it's tough. It can be so hard to recognize it in yourself. It's definitely one of those thiungs that tends to be unable to change until you experience the right life experiences first. But you're definitely taking the right steps by flirting with other girls AND especially by avoiding your former obsession.
10-11-2006, 07:16 PM
Nullifidian, man I think I am in a relationship like you described earlier. I started dating a ***** I never thought I had a chance with. she was cool, not a slut, but beautiful and not plastic beautiful. Now we have been together for like 7 months and I dont think I feel the same way she feels torwards me. Shes obsessed with me and has to know every thing I do and even starting working out because I told her if she didnt let me work out we were over. She does every thing I ask her to do but I dont know if i truly love her. I tell her I do and I think I do but im not completely sure. I have never broked up with a girl before I always acted like an ass hole and waited for the girls to break up with me. I really care for this girl and I my life would change drastically if we werent together but I really dont know if I love her. My biggest issue is that she has kept me away from using (drugs) for the past 10 months and I love her for it. Not to say that I cant on my own, but it would be that much harder. All of my friends are getting sucked inhto really bad **** and if I break up with my girl which I have come really close to I think I would get sucked into the drugs as well. I dont know what I should do... Do you have any advice for someone in my situation.?
10-11-2006, 08:59 PM
Originally Posted by x_muscle
IGNORE HER, if you MUST send something for her birthday send a txt message, and than move on...I say dont but having been there, easier said than done right????!!!
Plenty of girls out there, work on YOU now, date, be single and realize that no one should have such power over you,...
RIP Ryan, :(
10-11-2006, 10:23 PM
If it keeps you away from drugs, I guess I'd say stay in the relationship.
But - I'd at least TALK to her about the situation. Be upfront. If she decides she doesn't want to date you - then just be good friends with her.
10-11-2006, 10:24 PM
Originally Posted by swangswang
Sometimes you don't realize what you have untill you lose it.. or her.
As your friends... If you don't know what to do in this situation, then... I don't know what tell you.
10-11-2006, 10:42 PM
Originally Posted by swangswang
Personally, to me it just sounds like you've got typical commitment issues. Whenever you're in a relationship, there is always a period of time right in the beginning that is extremely exciting. Where every kiss is a thrill and just the sight of your girl turns you on. Everything is new during this time.
After that period is over, things get less exciting. Some foolishly interpret this as no longer liking the person they are with. That's a big mistake. Once that period is over is when you really start to know someone. It's also where relationships from then on require some effort to maintain. It WILL stagnate if you do nothing about it, but believe me it sounds like you have found someone who supports you and loves you. You need to step back and think about the things she has done for you and the type of person she is. Think about how others have treated you, and then conversely how she treats you.
For me personally, the most important part of a relationship is she support me, love me, and not be combative or *****y about stuff. Most important of all, she doesn't judge me. That's just me personally, but I found that's more important than anything else for me. I was extremely lucky and I found a woman who not only fits that description perfectly, she's extremely hot too So I married her.
If you had a drug problem, and this girl not only didn't judge you for it, but helped you kick it, that is not something to throw away. I really think it sounds like you just need to step back and look at who this girl is, and find all the things about her you love; and focus on those things.
Btw, the bad relationships I was referring to are the kind where she is a total b!tch, never supports you, abuses you, and is an all around piece of crap, but she's hot. You know, kinda like how it is to date 95% of the strippers out there (I have several friends who have dated strippers and every single one has been the same; I swear it seems like they all are psycho).
10-11-2006, 10:44 PM
10-12-2006, 12:36 AM
Nulifidian... man... that just made me realize maybe I have found the one and maybe its my fault things are getting boring. May be because she has done so much for me I need to step it up and start realizing I need to get past this whole partying thing and banging other chicks because I will most likely never find a girl with all the combined things she has to offer me. I think I am probably just being selfish wanting something that is better than what she has to offer (which is completely bull **** to think because I know I could never find a girl with more to offer). As for the drugs... besides my girl and my family, every one Ive known has always just wanted to get me high. I used to be the one who would snort ridiculous amounts of coke and crystal meth, ever since Ive had my girl (even after rehab) my girl and working out has been the only thing that have truly made me want to stay clean.
I have to say thank you so much for making me step out of the light I have been looking at my girl in for so long... You have made me apreciate all the blessings God has given me... props for you...
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