I have been dating a heavier set female...

Page 1 of 5 123 ... Last
  1. Registered User
    jamesf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Age
    37
    Posts
    29
    Rep Power
    120

    Unhappy I have been dating a heavier set female...


    Guys.....I have been dating a heavier set female for the past 10 months and we are very happy. She is not ready to get fit so I do not pressure her. We love spending time together and love and respect one another. However, my guy friends always give me **** for dating a heavier set female. They always remind me that they look down on me for it and that I should be looking for something better b/c I work out and take good care of myself. I do not give in to their bs anymore b/c it really is lame. My buddy was giving me **** earlier today like "dude I wonder what the guys on the forum would think if they saw a pic of you and you girl" So I am asking to all of you honestly: Should I not be happy just because I am into fitness and she is not?

  2. Registered User
    badbart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Age
    41
    Posts
    550
    Rep Power
    418

    If you happy go for it. Looks don't last, its better to have a woman you enjoy then a sexy woman that ends up driving you crazy.
  3. On my grind
    Board Sponsor
    3clipseGT's Avatar
    Stats
    5'8"  182 lbs.
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Hell
    Posts
    9,942
    Rep Power
    1140844

    Bro if she makes you happy thats all that matters. Happyness is in the eye of the beholder man. If ur bros/friends dont dig ur chick tell em to suck it up. While they may not be jealous of her looks im sure there jealous of how well she/you treat eachother, get along, etc.

    Looks arent everything man and if ur happy, stay that way!
    E-Pharm Rep... PM me with any questions or concerns
    •   
       

  4. B4n3 0n3
    Guest
    B4n3 0n3's Avatar

    If you workout and have achieved a great body I don't think you should have to put up with a less than ideal womans body.
  5. Registered User
    Kristofer68SS's Avatar
    Stats
    5'10"  180 lbs.
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    misery
    Age
    41
    Posts
    5,599
    Rep Power
    13729

    Quote Originally Posted by badbart
    If you happy go for it. Looks don't last, its better to have a woman you enjoy then a sexy woman that ends up driving you crazy.
    amen to that.
  6. I know nothing...
    DmitryWI's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Rose City
    Age
    35
    Posts
    2,534
    Rep Power
    1410

    Quote Originally Posted by badbart
    If you happy go for it. Looks don't last, its better to have a woman you enjoy then a sexy woman that ends up driving you crazy.
    I agree
  7. Registered User
    NO HYPE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Rhode Island
    Age
    38
    Posts
    585
    Rep Power
    392

    Quote Originally Posted by jamesf
    "Guys.....I have been dating a heavier set female for the past 10 months and we are very happy."

    "However, my guy friends always give me **** for dating a heavier set female."

    ....And you call them friends?
  8. Gold Member
    Rivet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,700
    Rep Power
    964

    Quote Originally Posted by jamesf
    Guys.....I have been dating a heavier set female for the past 10 months and we are very happy. She is not ready to get fit so I do not pressure her.
    Been there. Friends were saying similar things. That I could do better etc... OH well she cheated on me anyways with someone better suited (ugly) to her anyways. I was happy that he was scared of me however
  9. B4n3 0n3
    Guest
    B4n3 0n3's Avatar

    Quote Originally Posted by Rivet
    Been there. Friends were saying similar things. That I could do better etc... OH well she cheated on me anyways with someone better suited (ugly) to her anyways. I was happy that he was scared of me however
    Sounds like a bad situation all around. Moral of the story make sure you match up well with your lady.
  10. Registered User
    skull's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    ct
    Age
    49
    Posts
    829
    Rep Power
    559

    take this from an older guy whos been thru this, if shes not ready to get fit yet -she never will.staying fit is a matter of respect and pride.If you can deal with her being like that forever then its your choice.:donut:
  11. Running with the Big Boys
    Board Sponsor
    Rodja's Avatar
    Stats
    5'10"  220 lbs.
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Age
    30
    Posts
    23,071
    Rep Power
    917996

    I dated a girl that most would think was pudgy and I was definitely in love with her. I didnt care what my friends thought and they had enough respect to know that I chose to be her. Like it has been said before, it is MUCH better to be genuinely happy with someone than to just be infatuated with someone's physique.

    Best of luck to you and if your friends still give you **** for your decision, then I don't think taht they are truly your "friends".
  12. Board Supporter
    methusaleh's Avatar
    Stats
    5'11"  190 lbs.
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    New England
    Age
    37
    Posts
    827
    Rep Power
    57609

    Amen to you for being mature enough to see beyond the appearance.

    Looking back, I was the biggest jerk in high school, I literally would not even talk to a girl unless she was a perfect 10. I only dated a handful of girls because my standards were so high. Looking back at it, most of them were *****es, and if I had even lowered my standards to a girl who was a "9.5 out of 10", I would have found some very nice girls, and who knows...history could have been different.

    Nowadays I admit I still want to date a girl who is pleasing to the eye, but personality matters so much more. My current girlfriend/fiance is the perfect woman for me, she is very good looking and actually goes to the gym more than I do, plus she can fix/ride/drive any motorcycle or car, shoot any gun, and enjoys everything I do. But she's no perfect 10, and I don't want her to be, I love her as she is!
  13. Gold Member
    Rivet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,700
    Rep Power
    964

    Quote Originally Posted by methusaleh
    But she's no perfect 10, and I don't want her to be, I love her as she is!
    Too high maintenance anyways
  14. Registered User
    BigCasino's Avatar
    Stats
    6'0"  223 lbs.
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    USA
    Age
    29
    Posts
    581
    Rep Power
    415

    Just do whatever makes you happy. I for one would not judge you negatively for it, and your friends shouldn't either. Just because you are hardcore into fitness and keeping in good shape does not mean that you need to be into bodybuilder chicks.

    skinny model types, muscled, average, curvy, plus size, whatever everyone has their own preferences so don't worry about what yours is. Personally, I am quite fond of a Playboy bunny-esque look, but I would never say someone is less of a person because they have a couple extra pounds (I mean, we are not talking obese here right!?). Like you said, maybe her body is not in your normal preference range but you found something really appealing about her, and that's great! With all the stupid people running around out in the world be happy you found someone that can make you happy :-)

    If her not working out is going to bother you then you might want to soul search a bit harder, but if it will not bother you don't stress over her size.
  15. Registered User
    CHAPS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Age
    28
    Posts
    4,382
    Rep Power
    2867

    If she makes your happy then more power to ya!
  16. Registered User
    somewhatgifted's Avatar
    Stats
    6'2"  210 lbs.
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    4,392
    Rep Power
    2334

    Real friends accept your choices and should be happy of the fact that your happy. If they bring it up all the time its cause theyre jealous of your happiness that they havent been able to find with their chioce of women. I also believe that how you look can reflect who you are on the out side, theres a huge difference between a "heavy set girl" and a huge lazy slob. Genetics, thyroid and upbringing contribute largely to a females looks. Is it so wrong for a girl to go about life in a respectable manner hoping that there is a decent man out there who will love her for who she is. Afterall if you were in a terrible accident or had become ill, wouldnt you rather have a life long partner to care for you when your not looking good, or a vain, slim, drama queen wholl drop you when you dont meet her physical standards any more.
  17. Registered User
    TINYTOAD's Avatar
    Stats
    6'3"   lbs.
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Estados Unidos de América
    Age
    49
    Posts
    502
    Rep Power
    643

    When you pick out a dog, for example, you pick out the one that's healthy and loves you. It shouldn't be any diffent when picking out a wife.

    Stupid chivalry is bad. Don't try and fix anybody. Accept them for who they are. Don't stay with somebody defective, because you think that you're going to fix them. If you want a fat wife, who will develop health problems and die young, then okay. Otherwise, pick out the healthy one that loves you, and you'll be much happier in the long run. There are many fish in the sea. Don't box yourself in. I don't know of any old fat people. Do you?

    -TT
  18. Registered User
    skull's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    ct
    Age
    49
    Posts
    829
    Rep Power
    559

    this is all wrong, its about preservation of the fittest.athleats and workout types are a cut above the rest.if you stay with this chick her bad habbits will rub off on you--soon you will stop workin out and take up smokin--within a year you will be 300lbs.:donut:
  19. Registered User
    skull's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    ct
    Age
    49
    Posts
    829
    Rep Power
    559

    Quote Originally Posted by TINYTOAD
    When you pick out a dog, for example, you pick out the one that's healthy and loves you. It shouldn't be any diffent when picking out a wife.

    Stupid chivalry is bad. Don't try and fix anybody. Accept them for who they are. Don't stay with somebody defective, because you think that you're going to fix them. If you want a fat wife, who will develop health problems and die young, then okay. Otherwise, pick out the healthy one that loves you, and you'll be much happier in the long run. There are many fish in the sea. Don't box yourself in. I don't know of any old fat people. Do you?

    -TT
    I agree with all except the dog part-- pick out the biggest meanest s.o.b. of the bunch
  20. Unbreakable
    Board Moderator
    David Dunn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Age
    49
    Posts
    11,723
    Rep Power
    949536

    One day in life you will have the humility to consider whether you are a REAL catch yourself.

    Love, respect, happiness, compatability are all internal things that you share regardless. Be who you are on the inside rather than what you appear to be on the outside. Don't give her a pitty relationship. If you truely feel like you guys are what you say for eachother. Cherish it. She may come around to fitness one day and you may not be as fit one day yourself.

    If she means that much to you than stay with her. If her weight issues is really an issue TO YOU than move on. Your critical friends don't lie next to you on your bed looking you in the eye and tell you all their hopes and dreams and how much they missed you since the last time you were together. Intimacy and (com)passion does.

    Don't mind me too much. I have a gorgeous, 18yo blonde, blue-eyed, cheerleader daughter away at her freshman year of college. I have another 5yo gorgeous, brown haired, brown eyed daughter who is in her freshman year of kindergarten. My greatest fear is what will be drawn to them is drawn to them by their appearance rather than their substance of character.
  21. Registered User
    Jstrong20's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    1,354
    Rep Power
    48202

    Of coarse your freinds are giving you sh!t. Thats what freinds do.lol. I don't know why you let it bother you though. Me and my freinds clown on each others girls all the time and its no big deal. I wouldn't care if a chick is thick if she is the one. Apperances are going to fade eventually anyway. It seems some people need to date the hottest girl they can have to boost their self esteem even if she is a complete *****.
  22. Registered User
    TINYTOAD's Avatar
    Stats
    6'3"   lbs.
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Estados Unidos de América
    Age
    49
    Posts
    502
    Rep Power
    643

    I guess I'm not sure where you're coming from... Everybody is flawed. What's your conclusion: because I'm flawed, I should go out of my way to look for an equally flawed wife? My nephew just got divorced from a drug addicted wife, and I'm happy for him. I'm just sorry that he married her in the first place. He's a police officer, and her being arrested multiple times was a real embaresment for him. I guess when they got married, he felt sorry for her, and thought he could make her right. It just didn't work. Stupid chivalry.

    Here are 10 stupid things men do to screw up their life....

    Stupid Chivalry.
    by getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flakey, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save / transform her.

    Stupid Independence.
    Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excess of work, play, drink, drugs, porn and meaningless sex.

    Stupid Ambition.
    Unable to comfortably and profoundly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to false idols of money, toys, power, and status.

    Stupid Strength.
    Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vunerable, uselses, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-agressiveness to regain control.

    Stupid Sex.
    Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign" you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms.

    Stupid Matrimony.
    Lacking a mature sense of purpose, meaning, or value, of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reason, and feel helpless to "fix it."

    Stupid Husbanding.
    Thinking that marriage is the honerable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything.

    Stupid Parenting.
    Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug.

    Stupid Boyishness.
    Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy.

    Stupid Machismo.
    Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.

    If you want details, go buy Dr. Laura's book. It's a good investment.

    Pick out the healthy puppy, not the sick one.... You'll be much happier in the long run. You can't fix anybody... Don't even think that you can. If you're happy with what you have, fine, but don't think for a second, that you'll fix anybody.

    -TT
    Last edited by TINYTOAD; 09-29-2006 at 11:02 PM.
  23. Registered User
    Jstrong20's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    1,354
    Rep Power
    48202

    I'm curious what some of you would do if your wife got disfigured in an accident. It sounds like alot of you would file a divorce on grounds of being unattractive.lol harsh!
  24. Registered User
    TINYTOAD's Avatar
    Stats
    6'3"   lbs.
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Estados Unidos de América
    Age
    49
    Posts
    502
    Rep Power
    643

    Quote Originally Posted by Jstrong20
    I'm curious what some of you would do if your wife got disfigured in an accident. It sounds like alot of you would file a divorce on grounds of being unattractive.lol harsh!
    Withold that whole 'until death do us part' thing... Have you no honor?

    -TT
  25. Registered User
    CallmeClark's Avatar
    Stats
    5'8"  203 lbs.
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Middle Tn.
    Posts
    301
    Rep Power
    248

    I agree, fixer uppers may be easier to come by... But, they're not worth it. Go for the challenging one. Get the one that's not easy. Get the one that's worth chasing.
  26. Registered User
    Zero Tolerance's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Age
    42
    Posts
    1,328
    Rep Power
    786

    You're hanging out with the wrong crowd.
  27. Registered User
    NO HYPE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Rhode Island
    Age
    38
    Posts
    585
    Rep Power
    392

    Quote Originally Posted by TINYTOAD
    "Stupid Sex."

    ....
  28. Registered User
    skull's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    ct
    Age
    49
    Posts
    829
    Rep Power
    559

    theres a big difference between a woman who is vain and a woman who stays fit[takes good care of her self]sure looks fade but a healthy fit lifestyle shows disiplin and character and that carries on into other asspects of life.
  29. Gate Keeper
    jminis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    MOD island
    Posts
    4,023
    Rep Power
    2186

    Bottom line here, be happy, the only reason you should ever bring her size up (again depending on what were talking about here) is for health reasons. Vanity is not a good reason.
  30. Registered User
    Cuffs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Living in Sin!
    Posts
    2,193
    Rep Power
    1229

    One good thing is that heavier chicks are more likely to do things in the sack that the fit ones won't...lol.

    Dude, if she makes you happy, then you have found a good lady. Don't let your "friends" ruin what you have. It's hard enough to find that one that does it for you.
  •   

      
     

Similar Forum Threads

  1. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-23-2005, 10:55 PM
  2. PM's have been disabled
    By Dwight Schrute in forum General Chat
    Replies: 114
    Last Post: 01-19-2005, 10:28 AM
  3. 5-6 Week M1-T cycles have been fine for me
    By rocckky in forum Anabolics
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-01-2004, 01:35 AM
  4. i have been out of the gym for 3 months
    By hogiejoe in forum General Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 09-09-2004, 01:08 AM
  5. WHere I have Been & where im going...
    By txwakeskater in forum General Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-25-2003, 11:06 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Log in

Log in