I have been dating a heavier set female...
- 09-29-2006, 04:46 PM
I have been dating a heavier set female...
Guys.....I have been dating a heavier set female for the past 10 months and we are very happy. She is not ready to get fit so I do not pressure her. We love spending time together and love and respect one another. However, my guy friends always give me **** for dating a heavier set female. They always remind me that they look down on me for it and that I should be looking for something better b/c I work out and take good care of myself. I do not give in to their bs anymore b/c it really is lame. My buddy was giving me **** earlier today like "dude I wonder what the guys on the forum would think if they saw a pic of you and you girl" So I am asking to all of you honestly: Should I not be happy just because I am into fitness and she is not?
- 09-29-2006, 05:04 PM
If you happy go for it. Looks don't last, its better to have a woman you enjoy then a sexy woman that ends up driving you crazy.
- 09-29-2006, 06:40 PM
Bro if she makes you happy thats all that matters. Happyness is in the eye of the beholder man. If ur bros/friends dont dig ur chick tell em to suck it up. While they may not be jealous of her looks im sure there jealous of how well she/you treat eachother, get along, etc.
Looks arent everything man and if ur happy, stay that way!E-Pharm Rep... PM me with any questions or concerns
09-29-2006, 07:03 PM
If you workout and have achieved a great body I don't think you should have to put up with a less than ideal womans body.
09-29-2006, 07:11 PM
amen to that.Originally Posted by badbart
09-29-2006, 07:38 PM
I agreeOriginally Posted by badbart
09-29-2006, 07:43 PM
Originally Posted by jamesf
....And you call them friends?
09-29-2006, 07:52 PM
Been there. Friends were saying similar things. That I could do better etc... OH well she cheated on me anyways with someone better suited (ugly) to her anyways. I was happy that he was scared of me howeverOriginally Posted by jamesf
09-29-2006, 08:01 PM
Sounds like a bad situation all around. Moral of the story make sure you match up well with your lady.Originally Posted by Rivet
09-29-2006, 08:05 PM
take this from an older guy whos been thru this, if shes not ready to get fit yet -she never will.staying fit is a matter of respect and pride.If you can deal with her being like that forever then its your choice.:donut:
09-29-2006, 08:07 PM
I dated a girl that most would think was pudgy and I was definitely in love with her. I didnt care what my friends thought and they had enough respect to know that I chose to be her. Like it has been said before, it is MUCH better to be genuinely happy with someone than to just be infatuated with someone's physique.
Best of luck to you and if your friends still give you **** for your decision, then I don't think taht they are truly your "friends".
09-29-2006, 08:34 PM
Amen to you for being mature enough to see beyond the appearance.
Looking back, I was the biggest jerk in high school, I literally would not even talk to a girl unless she was a perfect 10. I only dated a handful of girls because my standards were so high. Looking back at it, most of them were *****es, and if I had even lowered my standards to a girl who was a "9.5 out of 10", I would have found some very nice girls, and who knows...history could have been different.
Nowadays I admit I still want to date a girl who is pleasing to the eye, but personality matters so much more. My current girlfriend/fiance is the perfect woman for me, she is very good looking and actually goes to the gym more than I do, plus she can fix/ride/drive any motorcycle or car, shoot any gun, and enjoys everything I do. But she's no perfect 10, and I don't want her to be, I love her as she is!
09-29-2006, 08:36 PM
Too high maintenance anywaysOriginally Posted by methusaleh
09-29-2006, 08:40 PM
Just do whatever makes you happy. I for one would not judge you negatively for it, and your friends shouldn't either. Just because you are hardcore into fitness and keeping in good shape does not mean that you need to be into bodybuilder chicks.
skinny model types, muscled, average, curvy, plus size, whatever everyone has their own preferences so don't worry about what yours is. Personally, I am quite fond of a Playboy bunny-esque look, but I would never say someone is less of a person because they have a couple extra pounds (I mean, we are not talking obese here right!?). Like you said, maybe her body is not in your normal preference range but you found something really appealing about her, and that's great! With all the stupid people running around out in the world be happy you found someone that can make you happy :-)
If her not working out is going to bother you then you might want to soul search a bit harder, but if it will not bother you don't stress over her size.
09-29-2006, 08:45 PM
If she makes your happy then more power to ya!
09-29-2006, 08:56 PM
Real friends accept your choices and should be happy of the fact that your happy. If they bring it up all the time its cause theyre jealous of your happiness that they havent been able to find with their chioce of women. I also believe that how you look can reflect who you are on the out side, theres a huge difference between a "heavy set girl" and a huge lazy slob. Genetics, thyroid and upbringing contribute largely to a females looks. Is it so wrong for a girl to go about life in a respectable manner hoping that there is a decent man out there who will love her for who she is. Afterall if you were in a terrible accident or had become ill, wouldnt you rather have a life long partner to care for you when your not looking good, or a vain, slim, drama queen wholl drop you when you dont meet her physical standards any more.
09-29-2006, 09:09 PM
When you pick out a dog, for example, you pick out the one that's healthy and loves you. It shouldn't be any diffent when picking out a wife.
Stupid chivalry is bad. Don't try and fix anybody. Accept them for who they are. Don't stay with somebody defective, because you think that you're going to fix them. If you want a fat wife, who will develop health problems and die young, then okay. Otherwise, pick out the healthy one that loves you, and you'll be much happier in the long run. There are many fish in the sea. Don't box yourself in. I don't know of any old fat people. Do you?
09-29-2006, 09:12 PM
this is all wrong, its about preservation of the fittest.athleats and workout types are a cut above the rest.if you stay with this chick her bad habbits will rub off on you--soon you will stop workin out and take up smokin--within a year you will be 300lbs.:donut:
09-29-2006, 09:17 PM
I agree with all except the dog part-- pick out the biggest meanest s.o.b. of the bunchOriginally Posted by TINYTOAD
09-29-2006, 09:51 PM
One day in life you will have the humility to consider whether you are a REAL catch yourself.
Love, respect, happiness, compatability are all internal things that you share regardless. Be who you are on the inside rather than what you appear to be on the outside. Don't give her a pitty relationship. If you truely feel like you guys are what you say for eachother. Cherish it. She may come around to fitness one day and you may not be as fit one day yourself.
If she means that much to you than stay with her. If her weight issues is really an issue TO YOU than move on. Your critical friends don't lie next to you on your bed looking you in the eye and tell you all their hopes and dreams and how much they missed you since the last time you were together. Intimacy and (com)passion does.
Don't mind me too much. I have a gorgeous, 18yo blonde, blue-eyed, cheerleader daughter away at her freshman year of college. I have another 5yo gorgeous, brown haired, brown eyed daughter who is in her freshman year of kindergarten. My greatest fear is what will be drawn to them is drawn to them by their appearance rather than their substance of character.
09-29-2006, 11:10 PM
Of coarse your freinds are giving you sh!t. Thats what freinds do.lol. I don't know why you let it bother you though. Me and my freinds clown on each others girls all the time and its no big deal. I wouldn't care if a chick is thick if she is the one. Apperances are going to fade eventually anyway. It seems some people need to date the hottest girl they can have to boost their self esteem even if she is a complete *****.
09-29-2006, 11:11 PM
I guess I'm not sure where you're coming from... Everybody is flawed. What's your conclusion: because I'm flawed, I should go out of my way to look for an equally flawed wife? My nephew just got divorced from a drug addicted wife, and I'm happy for him. I'm just sorry that he married her in the first place. He's a police officer, and her being arrested multiple times was a real embaresment for him. I guess when they got married, he felt sorry for her, and thought he could make her right. It just didn't work. Stupid chivalry.
Here are 10 stupid things men do to screw up their life....
by getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flakey, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save / transform her.
Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excess of work, play, drink, drugs, porn and meaningless sex.
Unable to comfortably and profoundly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to false idols of money, toys, power, and status.
Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vunerable, uselses, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-agressiveness to regain control.
Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign" you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms.
Lacking a mature sense of purpose, meaning, or value, of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reason, and feel helpless to "fix it."
Thinking that marriage is the honerable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything.
Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug.
Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy.
Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.
If you want details, go buy Dr. Laura's book. It's a good investment.
Pick out the healthy puppy, not the sick one.... You'll be much happier in the long run. You can't fix anybody... Don't even think that you can. If you're happy with what you have, fine, but don't think for a second, that you'll fix anybody.
Last edited by TINYTOAD; 09-30-2006 at 12:02 AM.
09-29-2006, 11:15 PM
I'm curious what some of you would do if your wife got disfigured in an accident. It sounds like alot of you would file a divorce on grounds of being unattractive.lol harsh!
09-29-2006, 11:20 PM
Withold that whole 'until death do us part' thing... Have you no honor?Originally Posted by Jstrong20
09-29-2006, 11:22 PM
I agree, fixer uppers may be easier to come by... But, they're not worth it. Go for the challenging one. Get the one that's not easy. Get the one that's worth chasing.
09-29-2006, 11:58 PM
You're hanging out with the wrong crowd.
09-30-2006, 06:45 AM
09-30-2006, 07:45 AM
theres a big difference between a woman who is vain and a woman who stays fit[takes good care of her self]sure looks fade but a healthy fit lifestyle shows disiplin and character and that carries on into other asspects of life.
09-30-2006, 07:51 AM
Bottom line here, be happy, the only reason you should ever bring her size up (again depending on what were talking about here) is for health reasons. Vanity is not a good reason.
09-30-2006, 08:07 AM
One good thing is that heavier chicks are more likely to do things in the sack that the fit ones won't...lol.
Dude, if she makes you happy, then you have found a good lady. Don't let your "friends" ruin what you have. It's hard enough to find that one that does it for you.
09-30-2006, 12:26 PM
Originally Posted by jamesf
If you make each other happy then F what anybody else thinks! When it comes down to it, if you are not happy then everything else doesn't matter.
How does the old saying go?........."If your friends are dumping on your happiness....then are they truly your friends?"...something like that.....
09-30-2006, 12:41 PM
Life's too short to live it for other people. Do what makes you happy.
**** 3 month Transformation contest:
09-30-2006, 12:54 PM
All I gotta add is that you're only going to live once so live happy. If this girl makes you happy then stick with her, if you aren't fully satisfied then go look for other girls. If you live your life to please others then you'll never be happy because you can't make everyone happy no matter what you do.
09-30-2006, 01:05 PM
If you want her to get in shape, tell her about the health benefits, not that she would be more attractive.
09-30-2006, 04:26 PM
Well yeah, that is a good point. Happiness is paramount.
09-30-2006, 04:41 PM
Originally Posted by CallmeClark
Did you actually just refer to a fellow human being as a "fixer upper"?
09-30-2006, 04:44 PM
Heh, maybe I did. lol But, I think that I was referring to that human being's situation moreso than the actual human being. But, in retrospect I can appreciate how it may be taken that way. Well, ya gotta like that. lol Double meanings by accident.
09-30-2006, 04:46 PM
As long as you are happy with her the way she is then stick with her and friends don't make fun of other friends wives and GF. We can make fun of the girls they pick up on but not the keepers.
09-30-2006, 05:50 PM
This is void during parties however and must be done to the persons faceOriginally Posted by mp5man1
09-30-2006, 06:11 PM
That’s all that matters… plus like cuffs said… they tend to be more willing to pleaseOriginally Posted by jamesf
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