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Top 10 Tips on How to Be the Best Dad
Being a dad is no easy task. It's one that requires men to be made of steel and velvet so they can be both strong and nurturing. Psychologist Randall Flanery, who is an associate professor of community and family medicine at Saint Louis University and the father of 10 children, has devised a top 10 list on how to be a great dad.
Dr. Flanery says, tongue-in-cheek, that his tips worked great on seven of his kids. In other words, when it comes to parenting, there are no guarantees!
Top 10 tips on how to be a great dad:
1. Run a benevolent dictatorship.
"Some parents find it hard to assert their authority. They try to appeal to reason when sometimes what the situation calls for is 'No,'" he says.
2. Be friendly, but not a friend.
Parenting requires a higher standard of behavior than being a friend. Dads need to be concerned about what is good for their children, not just what they want.
3. Admit when you're wrong.
It sends out the right signal that Dad is big enough to acknowledge his mistakes and move along.
4. Remain firmly flexible.
Your children are growing and changing all the time. While your family values should remain consistent, a 5-year old needs different limits than a 10-year old.
5. Stick around, even when they don't want you to.
One of the jobs of adolescents is to pull away as they struggle to become more adult. One of the challenges of being a parent is to love them in spite of it.
6. Ask questions.
"But don't expect to always get answers," Flanery says. "Just asking the question is enough to start children thinking."
7. Don't take it personally if they express unhappiness.
Children are likely to complain if they don't get their way. Shrug it off.
8. Know that parenting is 24/7, and then some.
"Being a parent is unrelenting. There's no time off; you don't get to check out."
9. Keep in mind that who you are is more important than what you buy them.
"Who you are seeps into their pores and goes away with them long after they've forgotten whether or not you've taken them to McDonalds," Flanery explains.
10. Laugh.
When they're little, they'll break your back. When they're bigger, they sometimes break your heart. So learn to take the bitter with the better, and laugh.
Being a dad is no easy task. It's one that requires men to be made of steel and velvet so they can be both strong and nurturing. Psychologist Randall Flanery, who is an associate professor of community and family medicine at Saint Louis University and the father of 10 children, has devised a top 10 list on how to be a great dad.
Dr. Flanery says, tongue-in-cheek, that his tips worked great on seven of his kids. In other words, when it comes to parenting, there are no guarantees!
Top 10 tips on how to be a great dad:
1. Run a benevolent dictatorship.
"Some parents find it hard to assert their authority. They try to appeal to reason when sometimes what the situation calls for is 'No,'" he says.
2. Be friendly, but not a friend.
Parenting requires a higher standard of behavior than being a friend. Dads need to be concerned about what is good for their children, not just what they want.
3. Admit when you're wrong.
It sends out the right signal that Dad is big enough to acknowledge his mistakes and move along.
4. Remain firmly flexible.
Your children are growing and changing all the time. While your family values should remain consistent, a 5-year old needs different limits than a 10-year old.
5. Stick around, even when they don't want you to.
One of the jobs of adolescents is to pull away as they struggle to become more adult. One of the challenges of being a parent is to love them in spite of it.
6. Ask questions.
"But don't expect to always get answers," Flanery says. "Just asking the question is enough to start children thinking."
7. Don't take it personally if they express unhappiness.
Children are likely to complain if they don't get their way. Shrug it off.
8. Know that parenting is 24/7, and then some.
"Being a parent is unrelenting. There's no time off; you don't get to check out."
9. Keep in mind that who you are is more important than what you buy them.
"Who you are seeps into their pores and goes away with them long after they've forgotten whether or not you've taken them to McDonalds," Flanery explains.
10. Laugh.
When they're little, they'll break your back. When they're bigger, they sometimes break your heart. So learn to take the bitter with the better, and laugh.
