Giving the UK one last chance!

[UK Guy]

Oh well, it doesnt look like theres much left me here now. I have a **** job thats going no-where but the best one i can get, my girlfriend of 7 years just left me 6 weeks ago, plus a load of other **** some big some small, i dont have anyone i can talk to about how crap i feel because no-one i know really cares.
So enough of the suicide talk im going mad over the next few weeks or months to see if theres any point me staying here in this country, picking myself up and trying to have a ball.

Im gonna try and see if i can do a "Cuffs" and just get on with it, maybe meet someone special to put a bit of meaning back into my life BUT if things are the same im thinking of boxing my **** up, putting it in dry storage (because ive got some nice furniture, well i think its nice) and buggering off to America maybe.

Now here comes the question, how easy do you think it would be to go over to America, get a job and a little place and where should i avoid, (i havent a clue about the place really), and basically start over.

Sorry if this thread makes me come across as a complete twat but im a really nice honest guy, and unfortunately that has been my undoing, i just dont have 3 months to explain in detail my situation or who i am, i just know there are people on this forum who have gone through some bad **** and the advice i have seen some people give has been inspireing so i know that lots of people on this forum are educated
So er, feel free to help or rip the piss or whatever, i just thought id put this up and hear what other people have to say.

Thanks for reading

 

[bioman]

I maybe biased but I would shy away from LA and New York City because the cost of living is outrageous despite all the fun things to do there. Other cities in the West like Denver, Phoenix, Tucson and Albequerque are experiencing record growth so jobs should not be a problem.

The Southeastern US also has strong growth and lots of affordable housing. North and South Carolina are beautiful, growing strong and seem to have a young-person oriented lifestyle. Texas..despite what you might think is pretty cool. Ignore the fact that GW pretends to be from there (his family is from Massechusets) and you've got a very pretty place to live with affordable land and houses...and LOTS of hot chicks that rival even Southern California, IMO.

You might as well forego all visas and documentation since our government is basically letting 12 million illegals squat in our country. One more limey shouldn't make a difference :thumbsup:

J/K..a work visa is not all that hard to get and will give you greater opportunity job-wise.

 

[UK Guy]

Hey thanks, some useful info there.

 

[GRosk1234]

Yeah this is going to sound a little ironic but I would figure out what kind of weather you like and what sort of needs you have (I should take my own advice). Do you have to live in a big city or can it be small? Do you like all four seasons?

Check out

http://www.aier.org/colcalc.html

http://www.findyourspot.com/

http://money.cnn.com/best/bplive/

If you need more resources on finding apartments/housing/jobs, let me know I can direct you to more links. This type of thing was in my practicum in Grad School so feel free to ask for more info.

 

[UK Guy]

Thats really helpful thanks. I think about leaving work every day (about 10 times at least) and just buggering off but i have to be realistic, i do want to stay here but i dont think ive got more than a few more months of this left in me before i decide to do it so this is all useful information and boosting my confidence to know it would be a realistic move and things wouldnt get too out of hand. If things dont change that is.

 

[refrieddreams]

bestplaces.net

This site rocks!

 

[Beowulf]

Hey man, I'm sorry to hear about the deluge of bad luck. I live in Boston, MA, and I love it here, but the cost of living is so astronomical that I would be gone in a flash if I didn't have such a tight family. I don't know where in the UK you are from, but the Irish community here is enormous.

NYC is cool, but idiotically expensive. I really love that city, but everyone I know who lives there is either crippled financially, or working themselves to death. That being said, many parts of Brooklyn are getting better and remain reasonable. Say what you want about NYC, but there is not a place on earth like it.

If I were to move, I would go to Florida (coast) or Arizona. I think I'd lean toward Arizona. The climate is truly antithetical to that of the UK, but I love it.

 

[Weezy06]

Don't move to the Detroit area. The majority of the good jobs in this area are auto-industry related, and most of those people are getting laid off. Atlanta has a booming economy, warm weather. If I were to move I'd go to Florida (warm weather year round, beaches, relatively low cost of living.)

 

[Grassroots082]

Hey man, I'm sorry to hear about the deluge of bad luck. I live in Boston, MA, and I love it here, but the cost of living is so astronomical that I would be gone in a flash if I didn't have such a tight family. I don't know where in the UK you are from, but the Irish community here is enormous.

NYC is cool, but idiotically expensive. I really love that city, but everyone I know who lives there is either crippled financially, or working themselves to death. That being said, many parts of Brooklyn are getting better and remain reasonable. Say what you want about NYC, but there is not a place on earth like it.

If I were to move, I would go to Florida (coast) or Arizona. I think I'd lean toward Arizona. The climate is truly antithetical to that of the UK, but I love it.

I think I would go with Arizona as well. I live in NC and it is a nice place to live. Check out Charlotte, NC, place is growing like crazy.

 

[LCSULLA]

Hell, I would kill to live in London. But if your thinking about coming stateside then I would go with Bio and do Denver or Boulder. Tons of hot chicks there and less expensive then either coast.
Stay away from LA if you don't have a car. New York is cool, so is Boston, Washington DC, and Miami. But all are really expensive. A house in the DC metro area that costs $500,000 is usually in a suspect area, if you can believe that.

 

[bioman]

Arizona is pretty cool but it is starting to get expensive here. Phoenix home prices are not too bad yet, but anywhere scenic like northern AZ is rather expensive. Here in Flagstaff, a run down 1600 sq foot house averages about $335K.

Of course, since the US dollar is tanking he might make out pretty well cashing in his Euros, lol.

 

[CDB]

I maybe biased but I would shy away from LA and New York City because the cost of living is outrageous despite all the fun things to do there. Other cities in the West like Denver, Phoenix, Tucson and Albequerque are experiencing record growth so jobs should not be a problem.

Seconded. Your wallet will be raped in California and New York.

 

[UK Guy]

Hell, I would kill to live in London.

I live far (for england anyway) up north, but ive been to London before, its not bad, expensive but an interesting place but i wouldnt want to live there. Besides its not nesscesarily the country i am trying to get away from i just want to get VERY FAR away from everything thats here. The situation im in and the person i have accidentally become just needs to be totally left behind. Im a little ****ed in the head at the mo and quiet upset about things i feel for certain people that i shouldnt so once i wrap that all up by seeing a therapist or something i can probably couple my change of heart and mind with a change of scenery and go where i can start again because where i am and the people i know are very unforgiving and only remember the bad **** (not that ive done anything bad but just crap things, hard to explain) that people have done and never see you as changed.
I have no respect here because i have allowed myself to get walked over and passed up opportunities that i should have taken hold of by the throat and just done them when i didnt and things, i feel, will always be the same here. But as the thread says im giving it one last chance, once my head is sorted we will see how people react to me and treat me and if its the same or that past cannot be forgotton then **** them all, i will try to earn respect somewhere else more deserving of such a great guy as myself

Sorry if im being a bit elusive about the bulk of my problems but i find it difficult to type about them. Maybe over the course of the thread i will let a few things out. Its nice to vent once in a while

 

[Beowulf]

I think I would go with Arizona as well. I live in NC and it is a nice place to live. Check out Charlotte, NC, place is growing like crazy.

One of my buddies moved to NC a while back (after being a ski bum in CO). I think he lives in/around Charlotte.

 

[Beowulf]

UK Guy, just a thought, but moving to another country when so mentally distraught may not be the best idea. The culture here is very different, and you will have an incredible amount to get used to.

But the Euro will take you much further here, so if you're gonna do it, you should save a few G's. To get a sense of the difference, my Irish cousin and her friends flew to NYC for the weekend to go shopping :blink:

 

[UK Guy]

Ive already started saving. Plus i may cut down on things like the net sooner to the time if i am going to boost the cash a little more.

I understand what your saying about not being mentally fit enough to up and move but to be honest some things i adapt to quiet well, however on the other side i havent lived outside of where i am now ever. Its certainly something to consider but i just want to get away from it all and suicide is not an option, i havent got the balls. Sorry if that last line is misunderstood by people, i mean it inoffensively.

All this info is being bookmarked and will come in very handy if the time comes, i have already completed that find your spot quiz, so bloody good that is, really useful i tell you. So a big thanks to everyone so far. Thank you

 

[somewhatgifted]

Sounds like you need to start treating yourself like the most important man in the world. Because you are, you are the only one that matters, so fvck their negative opinions, fvuck your ex, fvuck your job and pretty much anything you dont like. You CAN and WILL do anything you truly want to, now dont quit your job for the sake of quitting, dont move for the sake of moving. Spend some time remembering when you were happy and why, times when it was just you and the simplicity of youth made you a dreamer. Remember when you couldnt wait to grow up remember when you got a new bike. Happiness is individual, relearn what makes you happy and act on it. Rushing of to another country wont solve your problems but standing up to people and voicing your respectful opinion will. If they cant handle it then you dont have to endure them anymore. Suicide is something that has crossed my mind and since youve mentioned it a few times as if it were an option, lets talk about it. IMO suicide is what you think about when you think you have no control over your life, you feel like your spinning out of control and you want to assert control. THis is my life and im goona do what i want to, its my party and ill cry if i want to. Know you only live once ( i think) and you are the only person who can make YOU happy. And death does not make anyone happy it makes you dead. I think suicide is selfish and the cowards way out, your family would be crushed your friends would be guilty and you do not need to die to prove anyhting to anyone. Take life by the horns smile, walk in the sun, eat ice cream, climb a mountain. This is the greatest game ever played and im not going home early. SO, find out who you truly are, once you know who you are you will know where your going. You dont know where your going if you dont know where youve been. Well im trying to be motivating hope it helps. heres to the best years of your life, time to start living.

 

[bioman]

As one who has also been to the edge, Somewhat's advice is a good thought.

This point in time, as shoddy as it may be for you, is just that..one point in time. Things are going to get better because that is your current focus. I do think a new start in a new place is sometimes warranted, but like others have said..moving into another culture is a big step. Make sure you are truly open to the experience, otherwise it may make matters worse.

All in all though, us yanks and you limeys are not too terribly different.

 

[DL king]

But the Euro will take you much further here

I hear the british pound goes even further

We havent switched to the Euro yet mate.

 

[Beowulf]

I hear the british pound goes even further

We havent switched to the Euro yet mate.

My bad, i forgot that England was holding out. I think last time I was in Ireland I was already using the Euro.

 

[UK Guy]

Well said somewhatgifted, i guess i cant argue with that That was fantastically put and very inspiring thank you.

I think my main problem is that ive changed who i am to "fit in" so many times and am still left misunderstood because people just dont forget who you were and dont give you respect no matter what you do. The good things i have done in the past is always well and truely forgotton but everything else is what people judge you on. I wouldnt be bothered what people think only it does affect your life physically when your in my situation.

For example, i have known a friend for 20 years who is now also my boss. I helped him set the company up and without me it would be nothing but i became very very ill with colitis because of a lot of stress at home and with very violently agressive ignorant neighbours and other things (like saving up for a car for 3 years and making do without anything so i could buy this car and being left broke but proud after it to find someone pours nitro moors over it and ****s up the paintwork and i had no money to repair it and couldnt claim of the insurance cause if you do you cant afford to insure your car the next year.) just tons and tons of little things like that. Anyway the business wasnt going so well at first and although i was promised i would be looked after i sometimes came away with barely enough food to eat plus my colitis got so bad i ended up in hospital.

They told me if they cant clear it up soon ill be ****ting through a plastic bag for the rest of my life, i was only 23 years old. Anyway i asked for help from my boss/friend, just a little more cash to get me out of that ****hole of a flat and away from that bad area in general and i happen to like money a lot, it makes me happy when i dont have to worry about bills or can buy stuff without fear that i cant afford it. But alas i was rejected, i made a threatening ultimatum that i would quit work if my "demands" werent met, i was only asking for a little bit more and the company was doing very well by this stage, the only person who saw the benefits were my boss. Anyway i dont know whether he was testing me or didnt care or whatever but i quit and ended up getting a little worse.
Now the deal i was on was **** at the time but the company started to do really well because he basically whipped his missus into doing loads of work for him saying that if she wants kids the company has to be doing well enough, well it worked and the company grew, that deal would save my life now as i would be on a ****load of cash and very happy, happy enough so my ex wouldnt have left me thats for sure. A few years later i returned to that same job but i am on a reasonable smallish set wage with no hope of getting any more money or working my way up any ladders for the future, however its the best job i can get, but you see because of my stupid mistakes (which i dont think are all my fault) i dont have the respect and have lost so much.

This is just one of my problems, i haven even told you the one about falling in love with the wrong woman yet, that ****ed things up a bit, but the thread is long and boring and i am sorry but i hope this may have helped me vent a little and i appreciate the option to do so in front of so many helpful intelligent people.

Many thanks.

 

[somewhatgifted]

Well, i think you need to quit blaming. period. shiet happens and if you dwell on whos fault it is how can you possibly get over it, or find away to fix it. You have been through alot and have have some unfortunate decisions to make, but dont let that hold you down. Keep your head up, although i cannot contend with your problems, the most successful people in the world have amazing hardships to endure on the road to fame and fortune. To me wealth is not what you have its who you are, its an attitude. Wealth is saying "I am the most important man in the world". Life is a journey and each twist and turn, each fall and every time you get up your a different man, but this doesnt mean you should forget who you are. Yes youve fallen now get up dont lie there, and dont spend your time thinking about the fall, simply enjoy the beautiful scenery this wonderful journey has to offer. You have got some stuff of your chest and that can only help, "In life we make mistakes, those of us find true success arent making the same mistakes over and over again" some one smart probably said this but its my version. Hope you have the strength to stay true on a path of hapiness.

 

[okboy63]

Are there any former americans around where you live ? How difficult would it be for an american to go to the UK and work(and say your not highly skilled) ?

I remember looking into working in dublin Ireland prior to y2k and you almost had to be kin someone to work over there or have a very needed skill set.

 

[brandozzz]

Don't move to the Detroit area. The majority of the good jobs in this area are auto-industry related, and most of those people are getting laid off. Atlanta has a booming economy, warm weather. If I were to move I'd go to Florida (warm weather year round, beaches, relatively low cost of living.)

dont come to orlando
PLEASE :trout: hahhahahahaha

 

[karategirl]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it is not easy to get a work visa for the USA.
I moved from Manchester (UK) to New Jersey, and now Minneapolis (USA) and to get my work visa, I have a Ph.D. in Engineering and some pretty specialised experience which is how I have a work visa (sponsored by a company).
They have a quota of 65000 work visa's issued a year for all foreign people, which in my opinion is not many at all.
The basic requirement is that you have a bachelors degree, but realistically you need more than that.
Unless you have a special skill, a ton of money to set up a business or marry a US citizen, then I would not worrk about where to live, but who could give you a visa.
I can give you more info if you need it.
KG

 

[UK Guy]

Thanks for the advice, i did not think it would be easy to get one. Im sure i will figure something out come the time if i am that desperate (im quite a resourceful person when i need to be i guess). In the meantime im still going out and trying to have a laugh, thats what i think is important at the mo and its working
If the time comes i think i will pm a few people on here that have offered advice and take it up further but for now i dont want to waste anyones time yet do appreciate the help. Many thanks all

 

[UK Guy]

Oh and i dont really understand the concept of these rep point things (well only a bit) but whoever posted that comment, thanks, it made me smile

 

[somewhatgifted]

no problem mang