Ok folks, berate me and call me names to inspire me.

PastorofMuppets

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Long story short, I have been neglecting my gym time due to serious work hours.

For example I totalled up my hours for the past ten days and I got up to 130 hours.

So, I have some potential free time coming up...hit me with some inspirational insults!

BRING IT!!! :)
 
Jayhawkk

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You're so fat if you cut your arm you would bleed rocky road...


Does that count?
 
Beowulf

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Let's just say that until you lose that blubber you aren't getting your hands anywhere near the trout!
 
bioman

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Right now, there is a troop of Girl Scouts out there somewhere talking about your weak-ass bench.
 
bioman

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Because obviously, you can't resist the cookies.:trout:
 

dsl

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You asked for it, you got it.


You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would just die.

You're a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.


You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, Byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good
word!!!!! that's it, that's all i've got!!!!
 
Beowulf

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Damn, when he said inspire, I think he meant to bust his ass in the gym, not inspire him to commit suicide :D
 

delta314

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Damn RD, tell em how you really feel:toofunny:
 
jmh80

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"Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you!"

"Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal, food trough wiper!"
 
Bionic

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:rasp: That's all I've got! LMAO! RD hit ya with every negative adjective in the English language. Damn. That post has me feeling bad. LOL
 
jarhead

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"Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you!"

"Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal, food trough wiper!"
"I fart in your general direction!"
 
jmh80

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I forgot about that one Jar. So, to make up for it:
/Puppets running away as we throw cows, ducks, hampsters, and generally beat him about the head and shoulders.
 
Iron Warrior

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Here it goes POM, some tough love:
You're so fat that if I stabbed you with a Rambo knife a bunch of fvcking lard would ooze out of your stretch mark scarred alien gut.

You fat fvcking slob. You're so fat that you're going to be doing a prison sentence on the treadmill.

You're getting so ridiculously fat that you're going to be carpooling by yourself pretty soon you disgusting junk food junkie.

Hope you're better now :D
 

PastorofMuppets

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Er....thanks all! :)

Too bad I have been too sick to actually go. I tried going for a run and coughed up some major lung butter...nasty. :p
 
Pioneer

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you have a small penis...

go to the gym, sick man.
 
spatch

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If you get into a fight with someone, there going to call the FDA and report a sighting of mad cow.
 

ironviking

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Really I'm glad your going back to the gym cause I'm tired of your woman coming to my house cause she needs a real man.
 

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