help me im going mental

[1ad man]

okay i need help i proposed to my girlfriend twice she said i dont know im rushing i need more time. i told her it is times to part ways she started crying i dont wanna break up i dont know why she said that she said she likes me but i dont know why she is doing this. im the one who broke up and ended it on bad note it has been 5 days since i called her or she has called me 5 days.

im going mental but there is something called pride now her birthday is coming up in 4 days and should i send her flowers i dont wanna look desperate but i could always send them as a friend help confused should i send her flowers or what should i do help me.

 

[Matthew D]

I think you had another thread where you were told what to do about this relationship
but just walk away and give it TIME...

 

[max-rot98]

man you are thinking way too hard. Give her time alone. She sounds interested in her ex still and you are the one that is standing to take a hit. Just let her be. Flowers although a nice gesture could complicate things in her mind, and leave you 20 bucks short when it doesn't work out. IF things eventually work out, which the probably won't, then take her out for a nice dinner to make up for her b-day.

If you have pride and self respect you will walk away. You have made your point of how you feel towards her by proposing twice. If I proposed twice to a chick and was told no each time it would be gameover. Move along. There are plenty more chicks out there.

For the sake of the rest of our minds please use comma's, that is this ---> ,

 

[Cuffs]

I'm getting a preminition here.:think: Something to do with a news story on a murder-suicide involving ex-lovers. Dude, leave it be and go get some counseling.

 

[Spartan117]

does he really have -758 points...how'd you that?!

 

[1ad man]

max rot thanks alot really i mean i appreciate i guess people on this board are great . Really you have all treated me well im gonna stop being idiot on this site. Thank you all im really going through a bad time. The thing is twice i proposed to her and she said i dont know . I realize she needs time alone another question i have is what if she calls should i pick up the phone or play the hangup game for a while .

help me i really like her and 11 months she says all is good except im rushing . This is the second time i extended the time and 2nd time i proposed . IM pissed off she probably used me for sex 11 months can u belive help.

 

[1ad man]

By the way her ex have remarried but it seems that she is waiting for him to break up with his wife so she can get him back that is what up assuming she is giving him one year i think. so im not sure but im guessing . This chicks says she doesnt wanna break up and start crying yet i proposed twice and she said need more time im not sure help.

 

[WittyName]

Trust me in one year you will look back on this and laugh. I promise everything will be ok. Take care and try to remember tommorow is another day.

 

[Cuffs]

she said she likes me but i dont know why she is doing this

Key word here...LIKES. Notice she didn't say loves you.

if she calls should i pick up the phone or play the hangup game for a while .

Either don't answer, or talk to her like an adult. Just don't go crazy on her.

she says all is good except im rushing

Give her the space she needs. Stop giving her ultimatums. That would turn anyone away.

This is the second time i extended the time and 2nd time i proposed

My advice would be to stop proposing.

IM pissed off she probably used me for sex 11 months can u belive

And this is a bad thing??? LOL.

 

[karategirl]

I have given you my opinion once, I will do it only one more time, listen if you like, ignore it if you want.
You are rushing her, you can not force a person to marry you.
11 months is not a very long time, especially if you don't see each other every day.
Marriage is for the rest of your life, so why the hurry, if you are going to be together forever anyway then why rush to get what is technically only a piece of paper.
You being together for the next 50 years and married for 48 of them or married for 40 of them still means that you are together.
If she has been burned before, then she is being sensible by not rushing into marriage again, she may not want to make the same mistakes as last time and thus is choosing not to make a rash decision.
If you really seriously love her and want to be with her, then take time to listen to her opinions. If she says you are rushing her, then take time to think about it and see if you are rushing things.
Talking like adults is not the same as being desperate.
If you want to be with her, then write it down in a letter, explain why you want to spend the rest of your life with her, and how important she is to you. Tell her that you love her, and that she is the most important thing in your life.
Then, now this is the hard part, let her respond to that letter.
Let her tell you why she does not want to get married right now, she probably has some good reasons which you may not have heard before because you got so angry.
If you want to be with her, you need to make the effort to listen to what she wants and be patient.
However if marriage is more important to you than making the person happy, then go somewhere else because it is never going to last anyway.
The foundation for a good relationship is talking to each other and more importantly listening to each other.
Putting pressure on somebody and forcing them to do something to make you happy is not going to make for an easy relationship.
Chill, take a step back and realise that getting married is not the most important thing in the world compared to being with somebody that you love and that makes you happy.
If you don't want to be with her anymore, then walk away. Don't make a big fuss about it, don't threaten to kill her with your bare hands, be a mature adult, realise that this relationship is not going anywhere and walk away.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, I am sure you could catch another one.

 

[Cuffs]

I'm really diggin' KG! Where you been all my life girl? LOL. Good advice. Nice to see a female perpective on things.

 

[karategirl]

Thanks
Just trying to help out thats all.

 

[Mrs. Gimpy!]

two "no's" to proposals.....usually means no....im sorry 1ad but, the entire story/senario is just bad.... things arent meant to be. listen to cuffs... great advice in that post. there are millions of peopl out there....theres a great chance there is someone better for you. you also have to look at yourself, not to bag on you or anything, but reallly look at yourself, are you happy with yourself? do you need to work on some things. to make great relationships, both members of the couple need to be mentally stable people. i wish you the best of luck and am sorry that this is hurting you so much. heads up though.

 

[toughchick401]

I have given you my opinion once, I will do it only one more time, listen if you like, ignore it if you want.
You are rushing her, you can not force a person to marry you.
11 months is not a very long time, especially if you don't see each other every day.
Marriage is for the rest of your life, so why the hurry, if you are going to be together forever anyway then why rush to get what is technically only a piece of paper.
You being together for the next 50 years and married for 48 of them or married for 40 of them still means that you are together.
If she has been burned before, then she is being sensible by not rushing into marriage again, she may not want to make the same mistakes as last time and thus is choosing not to make a rash decision.
If you really seriously love her and want to be with her, then take time to listen to her opinions. If she says you are rushing her, then take time to think about it and see if you are rushing things.
Talking like adults is not the same as being desperate.
If you want to be with her, then write it down in a letter, explain why you want to spend the rest of your life with her, and how important she is to you. Tell her that you love her, and that she is the most important thing in your life.
Then, now this is the hard part, let her respond to that letter.
Let her tell you why she does not want to get married right now, she probably has some good reasons which you may not have heard before because you got so angry.
If you want to be with her, you need to make the effort to listen to what she wants and be patient.
However if marriage is more important to you than making the person happy, then go somewhere else because it is never going to last anyway.
The foundation for a good relationship is talking to each other and more importantly listening to each other.
Putting pressure on somebody and forcing them to do something to make you happy is not going to make for an easy relationship.
Chill, take a step back and realise that getting married is not the most important thing in the world compared to being with somebody that you love and that makes you happy.
If you don't want to be with her anymore, then walk away. Don't make a big fuss about it, don't threaten to kill her with your bare hands, be a mature adult, realise that this relationship is not going anywhere and walk away.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, I am sure you could catch another one.

:clap2: good post.....

 

[1ad man]

great advice karate girl tell u the truth i aplaud you thanks alot to that girl that wrote 2 no s well she said neither yes or no.

and to all the people on this board thanks im talking to her again on and off and she says she likes me and she just doesnt wanna rush. And i just read karate girls great advice and i think im gonna follow it uiltmateums dont work but i do wanna eventually get married karate girl i just dont wanna be boyfriend and girlfriend all my life you know so i was keen on what more great advice would u give

im 31 you know and every guy has a dream to walk on that corner and say i do . so please help karate girl great advice thanks

 

[Chewster]

I say screw em' who cares. I know its hard but get over her surround yourself by your friends, the gym, whatever hobbies you may have and of course the number one thing other women. It will be difficult at first but all it takes is time. Hell maybe she'll come back who cares. But the important thing to do is just forget about her at the moment. Focus on you!

 

[karategirl]

I think in the last week you have managed to chill out enough to stop being so angry.
Spend this time just talking to her, I am not saying that you will last forever, but if she says no to marriage, find out why. If she says you are rushing, then dont rush.
Only you willknow if she is still into you or not.

 

[1ad man]

well thanks youre right i am more relaxed i was stressed out i met her today we talked directly i feel she is just not into me she likes me but the sad part is i think she still loves her ex . IM pretty sure she likes me as a person and a human being and says im good looking and great heart and nice guy but she is confused in life she doesnt know what to do. I really feel she is not over her ex and says im rushing and she said i have to say no because your rushing me that is the only reason.

I listened to you and said i give you all the time in the world and i aint pressuring you any more . She goes to me she dont know if she ever wanna get married again she is scared of marriage she had a bad experience. She goes im fine that she is the problem and needs time to explore her feelings and maybe meet some other people or guys and not just marry the guy that first comes along .

She was previously hurt in marriage badly i really like her but like a man i told her that im not gonna call her and pressure her and it all up to you. YOu call me and if not the best in life the funny thing is we laughed it off. I said happy birthday but a part of me felt that she was just depressed and didnt really miss me for the week . She goes to me why did i call her back she needs more time to herself so i said you have the rest of your life and if your heart says call me call me if not the best in life.

I just got the feeling she is probably never gonna get married again because she still loves her ex when ever i talk marriage she gets stressed out.

So me and her have decided to take a break and explore new things and she goes if destiny has us to marry it will happen if not the best of luck in life so i dont know what is going on it is up in the air.

Need advice thanks for the great kind posts i think i have finally accepted what has happened and life goes on the biggest reason is i think she just doesnt love me but her ex and i want a person that loves me not her ex and there is only gonna be problems and if destiny has us getting married it will happen she believes in god and so do i

need advice im gonna miss her help what should i do im not pursuing her anymore i told her now is your turn it is in your hands

 

[max-rot98]

First off bro, if you talk like you type I would go back to school. I would love to help you and so would the other kind members here, I'm sure. The thing is your sentences are so incomplete and you use no punctuation whatsoever. Don't take it as me being a ****. It just hurts my head to read your posts.

IMO I would now just go about life like she isn't there. Look around bro there are many other girls out there. Honestly it sounds like this girl is just not good for you or anyone. She is very hung up on her ex and it seems whoever she is with will always take a backseat to her ex-husband in her mind.

 

[karategirl]

Wow! Well done for being so adult about this.
Ok, well I think you have made the right decision, now you have had time to talk you see that you want different things in life.
I think its time to move on, and look for somebody new.
But this time you will know that the break up is not because she does not care for you, she does. Just that you are in different places right now and want different things from life.
Go out, be free and meet new girls.
Well done 1ad man.

 

[1ad man]

thanks alot karate girl thanks i really think she is a bit hung up on her ex and it is time i meet other girls but where how do i pick up these chicks i met her by mutal family friend.

IM to shy to ask girls out help . thanks alot

 

[karategirl]

Rule number 1 - don't go out looking right now, you are on the rebound and your mind is not straight.
If you are looking for someone, what about any hobbies that you have, is there someone at the gym?
Online match dating might work if you are more comfortable with chatting to them online first.
Its not easy

 

[davhern]

Get yourself straightened out. Get in the gym and get your confidence up. I had to do it a few years ago when me and an ex split.

And karategirl gives good advice. Try the online stuff if you aren't really comfortable.