delta314
Registered User
:welcome:
The rules of Duval::study:
1. You must learn to say the city name correctly. It
is referred to as "Jax".
2. You must be a Jaguar fan. It is a requirement for
citizenship. Also, you are either a Gator or a Nole.
There are no other schools.
3. Forget the traffic rules you learned. No one pays
attention to them here. Merging, yielding, and
right-of-way are completely foreign terms.
4. To find anything in Jax it is required that you
know where Tinseltown is. It is the Alpha and the
Omega. The beginning and the end.
5. Directions to anywhere may, and usually do, make a
reference to "the old Pic and Save".
6. The morning rush hour is from 6am to 10am. The
evening rush hour is from 3pm to 7pm. Friday's rush
hour starts Thursday morning.
7. If you stop at a yellow light, you will be
rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
8. East Rd. meets West Rd. on Beach Blvd, but hey both
run North and South.
9. Normandy Boulevard, State Road 228, Cecil Field
Road, Maxville Road, and Post Street are all
the same road.
10. Hartley Road,Shad Road, and Hood Road are all the
same road. Hartley Road is the western part of the
road, and Shad Road is the eastern part of the road.
Now don't be confused about this Hood Road. This is
the West-East part that is in between Hartley and
Shad, not the North-South part that starts out as Old
Kings Road South, changes into Hood Road South, and
ends at Losco Road.
11. Construction is a permanent fixture in Jax. The
barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to
make the next day's driving more exciting.
12. Watch for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs,
barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces
of other cars, single shoes, truck tires, raccoons,
squirrels, rabbits, crows or vultures feeding on any
of these items.
13. The minimum acceptable speed on JTB is 75 mph.
Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is
Jacksonville's version of NASCAR.
14. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.
15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in
a 55 zone, you are considered a road hazard and will
be "flipped off" accordingly.
16. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is
recommended for city driving.
17. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next
weekend.
18. There are only two seasons: Summer and January.
19. There is a Westside high school that has a
confederate flag as its school flag, an image of a
slave plantation owner as its mascot, and Dixie as its
school song. Just accept it.
20. Ponte Vedra is to Middleburg as oceanfront is to
double-wide.
21. If you choose to live in Orange Park, or, God
forbid, Middleburg, plan to leave for work at 4am and
return home around 11pm. Otherwise you may get caught
in what can only be described as "the world's longest
left-turn lane".
22. Don't get here late and expect something to eat.
After 9pm, your choices are Famous Amos and
Village Inn.
23. You can buy a million-dollar condo downtown on
the river, but you have to drive 10 miles for a loaf
of bread, and never after dark.
4. The Landing is an interesting place. Every time you
visit, there will be a whole new set of restaurants,
fewer stores, and less parking. Hooters, however, is a
permanent fixture.
25. All city council decisions must be signed off on
by First Baptist Church.
26. You can't drink alcohol and see topless girls at
the same time. But, if you agree to drink Diet Coke,
you can see them fully nude.
27. North Philips highway. Don't go there. Unless you
are looking for motels that charge by the hour.
28. Learn all of the lyrics to every Lynyrd Skynyrd
song.
29. If you like southern-style barbecue, there's a
restaurant on every corner. But they all close at 9pm.
30. Convenience stores are EVERYWHERE, unless you live
in a million-dollar condo downtown:think:
The rules of Duval::study:
1. You must learn to say the city name correctly. It
is referred to as "Jax".
2. You must be a Jaguar fan. It is a requirement for
citizenship. Also, you are either a Gator or a Nole.
There are no other schools.
3. Forget the traffic rules you learned. No one pays
attention to them here. Merging, yielding, and
right-of-way are completely foreign terms.
4. To find anything in Jax it is required that you
know where Tinseltown is. It is the Alpha and the
Omega. The beginning and the end.
5. Directions to anywhere may, and usually do, make a
reference to "the old Pic and Save".
6. The morning rush hour is from 6am to 10am. The
evening rush hour is from 3pm to 7pm. Friday's rush
hour starts Thursday morning.
7. If you stop at a yellow light, you will be
rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
8. East Rd. meets West Rd. on Beach Blvd, but hey both
run North and South.
9. Normandy Boulevard, State Road 228, Cecil Field
Road, Maxville Road, and Post Street are all
the same road.
10. Hartley Road,Shad Road, and Hood Road are all the
same road. Hartley Road is the western part of the
road, and Shad Road is the eastern part of the road.
Now don't be confused about this Hood Road. This is
the West-East part that is in between Hartley and
Shad, not the North-South part that starts out as Old
Kings Road South, changes into Hood Road South, and
ends at Losco Road.
11. Construction is a permanent fixture in Jax. The
barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to
make the next day's driving more exciting.
12. Watch for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs,
barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces
of other cars, single shoes, truck tires, raccoons,
squirrels, rabbits, crows or vultures feeding on any
of these items.
13. The minimum acceptable speed on JTB is 75 mph.
Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is
Jacksonville's version of NASCAR.
14. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.
15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in
a 55 zone, you are considered a road hazard and will
be "flipped off" accordingly.
16. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is
recommended for city driving.
17. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next
weekend.
18. There are only two seasons: Summer and January.
19. There is a Westside high school that has a
confederate flag as its school flag, an image of a
slave plantation owner as its mascot, and Dixie as its
school song. Just accept it.
20. Ponte Vedra is to Middleburg as oceanfront is to
double-wide.
21. If you choose to live in Orange Park, or, God
forbid, Middleburg, plan to leave for work at 4am and
return home around 11pm. Otherwise you may get caught
in what can only be described as "the world's longest
left-turn lane".
22. Don't get here late and expect something to eat.
After 9pm, your choices are Famous Amos and
Village Inn.
23. You can buy a million-dollar condo downtown on
the river, but you have to drive 10 miles for a loaf
of bread, and never after dark.
4. The Landing is an interesting place. Every time you
visit, there will be a whole new set of restaurants,
fewer stores, and less parking. Hooters, however, is a
permanent fixture.
25. All city council decisions must be signed off on
by First Baptist Church.
26. You can't drink alcohol and see topless girls at
the same time. But, if you agree to drink Diet Coke,
you can see them fully nude.
27. North Philips highway. Don't go there. Unless you
are looking for motels that charge by the hour.
28. Learn all of the lyrics to every Lynyrd Skynyrd
song.
29. If you like southern-style barbecue, there's a
restaurant on every corner. But they all close at 9pm.
30. Convenience stores are EVERYWHERE, unless you live
in a million-dollar condo downtown:think: