Hey all, girl (ex-gf) question in here

[jblaze22]

I don't get a chance to post much, but hopefully you all can help...

The situation is, me and this girl broke up about 8-9 months ago (was a long distance relationship, lasted about 2 years) she was a virgin, I had been with one other girl at the time (i was 19, she was 17) but continued to talk up until the summer time, when I decided it was time to take a break. She is gorgeous, and everything I could possibly desire in a girl - she respects herself, has a good head on her shoulders, is dedicated and just downright beautiful and sweet and funny to top it all off. We never cheated on each other, and we had our issues (looking back alot of it was immaturity on my part) but who doesn't i suppose. At the time I didn't want to believe that I actually loved this girl, but recently feelings have resurfaced that were probably there all along to the contrary, and i miss her more than I would like to admit.

I made my way around in the single life and dated 3 or 4 girls and ending up sleeping with them to try and get past the whole scenario, but i always secretly wanted it to be my ex, which is when i knew i had no future with these girls. I've never felt so comfortable and so close and connected and happy with someone as I did with her. I have never been happier in my life as I was with her, even when the worst of times came she made me remember I had alot to be thankful for, she was my lifeline, I woke up every day happy because she was mine, but she never knew it. I loved her so very much but i was stupid and immature at the time and never told her how I felt, and she became distraught. I have never been happier in my life as I was with her, even when the worst of times came she made me remember I had alot to be thankful for. But I truly have grown alot in the past year in many ways.

Then a funny thing happened, I've changed my ways alot and talked to my ex to try and reconcile and at least be friends. Since i did that we talk every couple of days, but when we do she talks about when we dated alot, gets upset about other girls (understandable), i actually asked her what a good gift would be to a girl that i was strictly friends with and like i said, she didn't get mad but you could tell it bothered her, how she is the "old her" and how i would "like her alot" at this point and finally how she "gives up" on guys or whatnot.

She then just recently asked me when we were going on a trip together, and also to visit her when i'm in the area next to have dinner and such. I'm trying to figure if she is hinting that she may want to rekindle what we had, or is it just a friendly gesture?

I'm very much confused at this point in time because I'm not exactly sure about how to handle the situation, alot of stuff happened between us but nothing so bad that I would even hesitate to date her again, and I feel I have so much more to offer at this point. Any help you guys can give would be great, even if it's just "stay away" or whatever.

Thanks for reading this whole post, I've been wanting to get this off my chest, but not many people understand.

This is her:

 

[jblaze22]

Oh and this is me (no nudes, sorry :lol Oh and to avoid any confusion, I am the guy. haha

*Edited cause jmh80 won't stop asking me to date him*

 

[TURUGBY]

you gotta do what you feel is right. Try to get back with her, tell her how you feel about her now and apologize for the past. Good luck.

 

[jmh80]

Dude - you are one ugly ****!

:rofl:

 

[jdubz]

Its a rough situation. I know because I'm currently in the same boat and I'm in the same age group. I dated this girl a little bit during high school but then was a total dick for no reason (same thing as you, immature). We didn't talk for two years but now we are talking again. During this time I started to talk to different girls and one of them is one of her friends. Talk about playing with fire... This whole situation has made me realize though that if a girl has a good head on her shoulders and is attractive then she is a keeper. Seems like all my friends get attractive airheads. That is the last thing you want to be stuck with the rest of your life. I would just explain to her that your sorry that you were so immature. I did this and my girl totally understood because she could tell that I had grown considerably since our teen years. If she wants you to go on a trip with her then I would say its more than just a friendly gesture. As someone once told me, If you hang around a girl a bunch and both of you have fun, you are bound to become more than just friends.

 

[jblaze22]

Dude - you are one ugly ****!

:rofl:

I know im sexy, but try and control yourself, there's plenty of me for everyone :burger:

 

[jblaze22]

Its a rough situation. I know because I'm currently in the same boat and I'm in the same age group. I dated this girl a little bit during high school but then was a total dick for no reason (same thing as you, immature). We didn't talk for two years but now we are talking again. During this time I started to talk to different girls and one of them is one of her friends. Talk about playing with fire... This whole situation has made me realize though that if a girl has a good head on her shoulders and is attractive then she is a keeper. Seems like all my friends get attractive airheads. That is the last thing you want to be stuck with the rest of your life. I would just explain to her that your sorry that you were so immature. I did this and my girl totally understood because she could tell that I had grown considerably since our teen years. If she wants you to go on a trip with her then I would say its more than just a friendly gesture. As someone once told me, If you hang around a girl a bunch and both of you have fun, you are bound to become more than just friends.

Yeah that's what i was hoping, thanks for the input man, glad to see i'm not the only one.

 

[Atlas]

Hey you are an ugly **** (lol) but seriously man....tell her how you feel and apologize for you immature days....and be sincere......life is a very short ride and you only got one ticket on it man. Make of it what you can.....you may be talking to her tonight and god forbid you or her may not be here tomorrow, so make of your situation what YOU CAN. Love is a beautiful thing and shouldn't be kept in. If she doesn't feel comfortable hooking back up then respect her and give her her space. If things are meant to be then they will fall into place, but she has to know how you feel about her man.

 

[snakebyte05]

I agree with everything said above. Tell her and tell her as soon as possible. Let her know you really mean it and that you realize all the things you did wrong. Let all the feelings out and get it all out. She will let you know whats going to happen. SHe may even need some time to think about it and if she does, be sure not to nag her and give her her time. Good luck on it.

 

[jblaze22]

Hey you are an ugly **** (lol)

It's ok, I still love you sweetheart :lol:

But yeah, thanks for the advice, I pretty much knew that was the right way to go about it, but it's always nice to hear it from another.

 

[jblaze22]

I agree with everything said above. Tell her and tell her as soon as possible. Let her know you really mean it and that you realize all the things you did wrong. Let all the feelings out and get it all out. She will let you know whats going to happen. SHe may even need some time to think about it and if she does, be sure not to nag her and give her her time. Good luck on it.

Thanks again!

Good bunch of guys on this forum, keeps me coming back. The knowledge of the subject matter is a plus too

 

[3clipseGT]

You just have to let her know how you feel bro. Very attractive girl, and if shes got a good head on her shoulders, respects herself, i mean what more could ya want? Ya know? Let her know that what happened before was ur fault and that uve rectified things and hav matured in many ways. I think shes trying to hint that she wants to sew things back togethor, so i say go for it bro!

Good luck!

 

[jblaze22]

Thanks bud... and here's a random picture for you all, just cause im bored as all hell

 

[snakebyte05]

One thing to tell her besides how you feel, tell her the things you told us about how she is attractive and smart. Girls love to hear those kind of things and make sure to add the smart part, many girls hear they are good looking, but it is even better when they are good looking and smart, many dont hear that often, also shows her that you dont just care for her looks, that you care for all of her, personality, looks, body, mind.

 

[xxtruxx1]

I'm in a similar situation except reversed. My ex is the one that was immature so I ended things with her. We had done long distance while I was up here at UF (in Gainesville, FL) & she was in Miami. Luckily it was only a 4 hour drive (literally takes around 6 but I'm just that good lol). Now she's in Chicago & we're picking things back up from the ground & seeing what happens...

Best advice I can give you is, if you fucked it up, it's in your hands buddy. I never waited for my ex b/c I don't believe I should've had to although I did love her very much. All the time in between where we weren't speaking & I was with other people, all I prayed & hoped for was that she'd grow up & realize things. Now that she's starting to/has I'm very happy about it.

In other words, you're on the right track. You matured & grew & saw what you had & that it was something special. Now, just saying this doesn't mean **** (sorry for the harshness but this topic gets me fired up). You have to act upon it. Show her. If she really does love you, she'd be more than willing & happy to take you back. I know I would be, being in her shoes but in my own pseudo-relationship thing.

Life is a roller coaster. You can't spend it thinking about how long you were in line for or what you're going to do once the ride is done. You have to enjoy the ride. That's what life is all about, the ride. Throw your hands up & enjoy every second of it, every turn & twist, cause it doesn't get much better than that.

That being said, do what you feel.

One more thing, don't worry. Worrying is like a rocking chair, you go back & forth but don't get anywhere.

 

[jblaze22]

I'm in a similar situation except reversed. My ex is the one that was immature so I ended things with her. We had done long distance while I was up here at UF (in Gainesville, FL) & she was in Miami. Luckily it was only a 4 hour drive (literally takes around 6 but I'm just that good lol). Now she's in Chicago & we're picking things back up from the ground & seeing what happens...

Best advice I can give you is, if you fucked it up, it's in your hands buddy. I never waited for my ex b/c I don't believe I should've had to although I did love her very much. All the time in between where we weren't speaking & I was with other people, all I prayed & hoped for was that she'd grow up & realize things. Now that she's starting to/has I'm very happy about it.

In other words, you're on the right track. You matured & grew & saw what you had & that it was something special. Now, just saying this doesn't mean **** (sorry for the harshness but this topic gets me fired up). You have to act upon it. Show her. If she really does love you, she'd be more than willing & happy to take you back. I know I would be, being in her shoes but in my own pseudo-relationship thing.

Life is a roller coaster. You can't spend it thinking about how long you were in line for or what you're going to do once the ride is done. You have to enjoy the ride. That's what life is all about, the ride. Throw your hands up & enjoy every second of it, every turn & twist, cause it doesn't get much better than that.

That being said, do what you feel.

One more thing, don't worry. Worrying is like a rocking chair, you go back & forth but don't get anywhere.

Good advice, yeah I will probably regret it for a long time if I don't at least speak my mind.

 

[kwyckemynd00]

Well, by reading all of the posts, I guess the answer to your question is: you're an ugly ****...Oh wait? You didn't ask that did you? haha....

J/K...You're good enough to turn a straight man gay...wait, did I say that...uh oh

On a more serious note, if you like her still, I don't see the problem with trying to hook it up again.

Just Do It--Nike :lol:

 

[Atlas]

DOn't feel bad JBLAZE, I still love you too hot buns....plus that is a pic of Kwyk in his avatar during his recent bulk! If you guys want to be adored by women everywhere, you gotta grow a 'fro like me.

 

[jblaze22]

<3

*cue gratuitous anchorman quote*

I think when this is all said and done we should get an apartment together.

*end quote*

Well, by reading all of the posts, I guess the answer to your question is: you're an ugly ****...Oh wait? You didn't ask that did you? haha....

J/K...You're good enough to turn a straight man gay...wait, did I say that...uh oh

On a more serious note, if you like her still, I don't see the problem with trying to hook it up again.

Just Do It--Nike :lol:

 

[Mrs. Gimpy!]

b y the way things sound....go for it. whats the worst that can happen?

 

[3clipseGT]

Yea exactly, the worst that can happen im sure has already happened to you so take a stab bro.

Kwyck, bro you need to chill on those burgers. Bulking the way you are is going a little overboard! :run:
:lol: jk man jk!

 

[Atlas]

Did I mention, as is obvious by the pic, Kwyk is related to beatle juice from the Howard Stern show! Which I hope to be there at his last show tomorrow at KROCK!!!

 

[Whiskey Steve]

jayblaze,

She definitely wants you. And i bet you talking about other girls really really hurts her; yet she stays around "being friends" because she is hoping you will come back. I say give her a merry Christmas.

And I feel the same way about every girl i have dated. I always become so attached and never want to let go.
Looks really dont matter; its their personality that you fall in love with. I have become friends with girls that are "below" my ideal for looks and then started dating and gotten hooked. A girl with a beautiful personality will become physically beautiful to you in a very short amount of time. These girls would seriously become the most beautiful thing i had ever seen (in my eyes). But i really could not see their physical flaws after that....or i just didnt care.

But if you've got the full package beggin to take you back then you would be a damn fool not too.

 

[yeahright]

Sigh. Tell her how you feel.

Believe me, the worse that can happen is that she'll tell you to go jump in a lake.

If you don't tell her, you'll wonder the rest of your life what would have happened.

Seize control of your own destiny and talk to her.

 

[Meerschaum]

(keeping in mind I am fucking wasted on a bottle of chopin and loved up on my g/f right now)


I would say go for it man, get back with the chick and have fun with it, you broke it (pun intended) now put it back together, have fun with it man. Keep in mind you have unlimited options and dont EVER get too attached it hurts to ditch one and move onto the next.

 

[jblaze22]

hey all, just to update, i spilled my guts today and it didn't exactly turn out how i wanted.

These are from a couple weeks back, actually a week at the most, 1 day apart, which lead me to this..

Her. (9:21:21 PM): im going on a cruzzz
Her. (9:21:24 PM): finally YAY!!
Her. (9:21:30 PM): we going to italy or what
mpov22 (9:21:50 PM): your cruising to italy?
Her. (9:22:12 PM): no lol
Me (9:22:21 PM): ohhh
Me (9:22:23 PM): i get it
Me (9:22:27 PM): yeah dude, you know im down
Her. (9:22:27 PM): im going ona cruise to southern carribean - and asking when WE were going to italy
Her. (9:22:40 PM) I AM SOO DOWN

Her (11:50:01 PM): im old me again- but i feel so much more grown up

Her (8:04:45 PM): please - if you come up here you best make an appearance we need to go out to dinner or something
Me, (8:05:00 PM): define "we"
Her. (8:05:05 PM): me and you

These are from today, she was mean about it even..

Her. (2:50:28 PM):since you were in teh area i didt mind going out to dinner with you and im not saying i Dislike you gees we can get along but im just sayign we arent meant to be "together"
Her. (2:46:04 PM):its called growing up sooo- naturally i am different
Her. (2:46:09 PM):then who i was then

Me (4:25:31 PM):i just said i value you as a person, i tried to get what would've made me happiest and it didn't work out that way, and all i asked was asking why, if you didn't want to see me would you want to go on a trip with me
Her (4:25:54 PM):ok
Her(4:26:02 PM):we aren going on a trip together



So now im back to square one again and momentarily devastated, but it was a risk i ran by doing this and knew it was a possibility, but i wanna thank you all from the bottom of my heart, and i hope you all have a great holiday.

 

[xxtruxx1]

Aol is the worst place to talk about stuff like that.

If you know her, maybe she was putting up a front? Kind of like a wall so that she doesn't get hurt again. Maybe she was on the defensive & thinking more about her feelings than what you said. If she's being a hardass..then let her be.

Now if she's a a very straightfoward, no bs type of person who doesn't play games & **** around..take what she said at face value.

Only you know her, or should by now, so it's entirely your call.

 

[jblaze22]

yeah i know i wouldve preferred it on the phone but she has been working constantly so i took waht i could get.

So needless to say she rocked me pretty hardcore.

As far as the straightforward thing, i don't really know anymore, i just know that see seems to change her mind on things all the time, as you can see by the condesending nature of her responses vs. only a week ago.

Oh well, life goes on:burger:

 

[yeahright]

yeah i know i wouldve preferred it on the phone but she has been working constantly so i took waht i could get.

So needless to say she rocked me pretty hardcore.

As far as the straightforward thing, i don't really know anymore, i just know that see seems to change her mind on things all the time, as you can see by the condesending nature of her responses vs. only a week ago.

Oh well, life goes on:burger:

It hurst now but that's much better than wondering about it the rest of your life.

 

[xxtruxx1]

Dude..seriously just punch her in the head.

emotionally..lol

 

[Mrs. Gimpy!]

flushher....

i dont play games....period....and i think people that do are..... yeah....

 

[jblaze22]

flushher....

i dont play games....period....and i think people that do are..... yeah....

heh yeah, it was kind of rough, but i will keep searching even if it takes awhile, i come from a line of family that all married young, so i just wanna make the right decision and never regret a thing.

"**** it all, and fucking no regrets."

 

[Mrs. Gimpy!]

im sorry all that happened....

something better will come along and its better to know what happened then to always wonder what could have happened

 

[jblaze22]

thanks very much, its made me a better person through it so I can't say it's all bad, just one of those thing's, but life goes on