My brother is sick

[refrieddreams]

I know I am not too well known on this board, but I ask for any positive thoughts for my brother.

He is 33 and has brain cancer, he been dealing with it for about a year now and I just got a call that today may be his last, please send some positive thoughts to Jay and his little girl.

Thanks

 

[CEDeoudes59]

im so sorry man. I had a brother who died of cancer - I understand what you are dealing with. My prayers are with you family. Hang in there and if you ever simply want to talk about how you're feeling PM me or post it here, people will listen.

 

[DieTrying]

You and your family are certainly in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[t_dot_porkchop]

i hope he pulls through....he will be in my prayers.

 

[Malek256]

EDIT: I am so very sorry, I misread/misunderstood your original message. I guess I just wanted to think there was something I could do. I will leave the original message below in case it can be of any use to anyone else.


Refried, I lost a good friend of mine to brain cancer. Afterward I came across a pile of references that THC in large doses (yes Marijuana) has a very strong brain-cancer killing property!!

Has he been in contact with Stanislaw? Check here! http://www.dontevergiveup.com/

 

[BLANE]

sorry about your bro, my grandmother passed away from a long battle with brain cancer. I will say a prayer for him tonight

 

[JonesersRX7]

Sorry to hear this Refried.

I'm not a religious man but I will be thinking of him and your family for what it counts.

 

[refrieddreams]

THANKS fellas, he's still hanging on, they took him off all meds, so now we are just waiting. His breathing has slowed to 6 breaths per minute. I just want him to go peacfully.

 

[CEDeoudes59]

we got your back

 

[Apowerz6]

AM love

yes it is hard to see the ones you love fade away not knowing what to do and wanting to do everything for them so you can have them forever. Just know thoughts, prayers,actions, and great memories keep him alive in spirit. God bless, and i will be praying for your family.:thumbsup:

 

[wranglergirl]

My thoughts are with you and your family at this hard time....Please feel free to email me if you wish to talk....I lost a sister, althought it was different circumstances I can relate to the loss part.......

(((((HUGZ))))) be strong....

 

[Y2Jversion1]

Thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones buddy.

 

[cable626]

I urge everyone who is religious to pray for refried's brother, I know I will be. The power of prayer is very strong. I've had a very similar situation so I take this to heart.
Be strong refried.

 

[refrieddreams]

Wow thanks guys...and GAL I git some sleep lastnight,finally and I am about to make a call for an update...fingers crossed.

 

[refrieddreams]

Talked to my old man, and he is still just laying there asleep, breathing 3 to 4 time a minute. I will go out there as soon as I get out of work, or if I here any news.

 

[wranglergirl]

((((HUGZ))))) your in my thoughts

 

[refrieddreams]

Thanks again WG, I have been through a lot this week, and this does suck. I tried to email you but got denied... Just really want to say thanks...

[email protected]

 

[Nate Dawg]

Is he a Christian? If not, now would be a good time to talk to him about it, probably not the easiest time to talk about it due to his condition though....just had to recommend that. He's in our prayers.

 

[kwyckemynd00]

I'm sorry to hear that These sort of things just kill me to hear...

I don't know what to say other than your brother, you, and your family (especially your niece) are in my thoughts and I'm extending my best wishes. :sad:

 

[RipdnTxs2]

I really feel for u, I went through something similiar with my dad a short time ago. Keep your head up and try an go on like your brother would want u too. I know everyone hears this alot but, TELL people close to u how u really feel about them, u may not get the chance later.U and your family are in my thoughts.......

 

[refrieddreams]

Is he a Christian? If not, now would be a good time to talk to him about it, .

No he isn't he is kinda of hippy type, very very giving really sweet guy. Good with his hands, can build anything, can fix anything. My mom however is a chritian pastor, so it's a wierd situation.

Thanks for your concern NATE.

(especially your niece) are in my thoughts and I'm extending my best wishes. :sad:

Yeah thats the tough one for me, she's 5 and my family is not letting her see him. He went to the farmers market (remember he's a nature guy) with her last week, and she had a good time, they want that to be her final memory of him. His EX wife on the other hand is a POS in my book, and we WILL have words here after this crap is over. I am writting a song (a small hobby of mine) called "Murder 1" even though she didn't pull a trigger, her actions are what led his body to shut down and his amune system not strong enough to fight away **** we are attacked with on a daily basis. I truly believe without her actions, this thing would of bounced right off him and he would of never known about it. As my dad says, "When you have been eating a **** sandwitch for a year, your body just become numb and weak."


RippedinTX, I apreciate your thoughts, and my family 4 brothers and 1 sister are really getting a lot closer.

 

[Malek256]

I really feel for u, I went through something similiar with my dad a short time ago. Keep your head up and try an go on like your brother would want u too. I know everyone hears this alot but, TELL people close to u how u really feel about them, u may not get the chance later.U and your family are in my thoughts.......

Damn right. Tomorrow makes one year to the day when I lost my mom to a sudden heart attack without warning. I have the consolation that I told her I was proud of her and love her even though it felt awkward and made time to talk with her on the phone, invite her to my place and just try to be there with her day to day. And I went out on a limb one day and bought my mom pearls for earrings and a necklace just because she'd done so damn much for us and I wanted to do something good in return.

Not because I had any idea it was coming, just because dammit people should know they matter and are special.

So don't think "I'll do it soon" do something today and now. People don't last forever.

 

[refrieddreams]

Very cool bro.

 

[DmitryWI]

I prayed for your brother, GOD will take care of him

 

[wranglergirl]

Damn right. Tomorrow makes one year to the day when I lost my mom to a sudden heart attack without warning. I have the consolation that I told her I was proud of her and love her even though it felt awkward and made time to talk with her on the phone, invite her to my place and just try to be there with her day to day. And I went out on a limb one day and bought my mom pearls for earrings and a necklace just because she'd done so damn much for us and I wanted to do something good in return.

Not because I had any idea it was coming, just because dammit people should know they matter and are special.

So don't think "I'll do it soon" do something today and now. People don't last forever.

I agree, i never got to say goodbye to my sister, she was murdered and i have to live with that.....I have changed in that i say what i feel when i feel it, people close to me know because i tell them ......life is to short, say what you mean and mean what you say......

 

[BigVrunga]

My heart goes out to you and yours bro, I wish only the best for you and your family.

BV

 

[refrieddreams]

Thanks again, today update...still hanging on.

 

[refrieddreams]

Thanks again, today update...still hanging on.

Here is a "Form letter" written from my mom to all our family and friends, this is from Monday I think. Kelly is my sister BTW.

Hi Everyone,

This is mom. Kelly is a trooper but not quite up to writing today. I thought that an update was in order.

I just wanted everyone to know that your prayers, good wishes and thought are greatly appreciated. Jay took a turn for the worse this weekend. He was in a great deal of pain which has been stabilized by the Hospice nurse. They truly are God's special angels. Jay is currently semi-comotose and in the process of dying. His body is shutting down but he is at peace and not in pain. Hospice has told us that the process could take hours, days or even a week. He is not eating or drinking so I pray that it will be quick rather than drawn out.

If you are a praying person, please pray for a quick an painless passing and for his brothers, Tim and especially his sister, Kelly, who is having a really hard time that would be wonderful.

His friends Mark and Geoff have flown in from around the country. They and his local friends had a party in his room yesterday, reminising about old times and playing the music he loved to listen to. Laughing about the fact that Jay's room was always party central from the time we moved to California and they became friends, fourteen years ago. Every once in a while Jay would smile and talk to them. It was truly a moment closest to Christ for me.

Jay is a special person and to see him surrounded by so many people who love him is making the process easier. We are all reachable by cell phones and are all camped at Jay's house until the time comes for him to pass on.

Thank you all for your love and support. Many of you I don't know but you know Jay. We have been told that hearing is one of the last things to go, so we continuously talk to him. If you would like to send a message to him. Please do it to Kelly's email address or to mine ******** and we will read them to him.

 

[jblaze22]

I don't post a whole lot... but my thoughts are with you and your family in these difficult times... i wish you and yours the best

Here is a "Form letter" written from my mom to all our family and friends, this is from Monday I think. Kelly is my sister BTW.

Hi Everyone,

This is mom. Kelly is a trooper but not quite up to writing today. I thought that an update was in order.

I just wanted everyone to know that your prayers, good wishes and thought are greatly appreciated. Jay took a turn for the worse this weekend. He was in a great deal of pain which has been stabilized by the Hospice nurse. They truly are God's special angels. Jay is currently semi-comotose and in the process of dying. His body is shutting down but he is at peace and not in pain. Hospice has told us that the process could take hours, days or even a week. He is not eating or drinking so I pray that it will be quick rather than drawn out.

If you are a praying person, please pray for a quick an painless passing and for his brothers, Tim and especially his sister, Kelly, who is having a really hard time that would be wonderful.

His friends Mark and Geoff have flown in from around the country. They and his local friends had a party in his room yesterday, reminising about old times and playing the music he loved to listen to. Laughing about the fact that Jay's room was always party central from the time we moved to California and they became friends, fourteen years ago. Every once in a while Jay would smile and talk to them. It was truly a moment closest to Christ for me.

Jay is a special person and to see him surrounded by so many people who love him is making the process easier. We are all reachable by cell phones and are all camped at Jay's house until the time comes for him to pass on.

Thank you all for your love and support. Many of you I don't know but you know Jay. We have been told that hearing is one of the last things to go, so we continuously talk to him. If you would like to send a message to him. Please do it to Kelly's email address or to mine ******** and we will read them to him.

 

[CEDeoudes59]

His friends Mark and Geoff have flown in from around the country. They and his local friends had a party in his room yesterday, reminising about old times and playing the music he loved to listen to. Laughing about the fact that Jay's room was always party central from the time we moved to California and they became friends, fourteen years ago. Every once in a while Jay would smile and talk to them. It was truly a moment closest to Christ for me.

that's pretty deep, we're praying for you guys.

 

[refrieddreams]

WOW...where do I start? Must get a drink first...be right back...

Ok, surprisingly the diet isn't TOO much in the shitter, but defiantly not as dialed as it's been.

 

[refrieddreams]

Last night at 9:05 I got a call on my way out to do more cardio (big surprise). It was one of my brothers, he said "I just made my peace with JAY, and I don't give him more than an hour, if you made peace already don't bother going out there, as he is pretty much gone already." Well I had made my peace I will be damned if goes without me being next to him.


Soo..

I get in my freaking gas hog Durango and drove my fat ass up there, normally 25 mins, made it in about 15. I arrive at 9:20 or so, and walk straight to the back yard to talk to my lil bro, we chat about JAYS condition for about a minute and then we all get word that this is it, he just said it's time. We get swooped into his bedroom, and talk with him, his eyes were shut, barley breathing. ME, my sister, my brother, mom, dad, and various friends were there. He opened his eyes, looke right into my sisters eyes and died.

We stayed in there for 10 mins or so, telling stories, I mentioned how he has all the answers now and looking down at me saying..."You're doing it all wrong!!! It all makes sence now!!!" as I have gone through a lot of **** as of late, and can use any help from above.

Soo..

Now my sister changed him, putting him in DOC Martins, a silver dress shirt, black jeans, and sunglasses that He had just bought for my lil bro's BDAY (AUG 16). He looked awesome. He was holding a framed picture of his daughter, and in his shirt pocket had a picture of my daughter, and nephews.

NOW..

This is tough, taking me forever to type, so please bare with me.

We all hang out, some in the room, some out back, my family partook of various mind altering "vitamins"...I had a jack and coke or 12. The people came to take him away, (really morbid job IMO) it was tough to let him go. They put him in a green van and took him away to harvest his brain, so they can learn about his sickness, as he is one of the most caring guys in the world, that is what he wanted.

We hung out for quite sometime, just talking and reminissing. We went through emails from people he knows thru the net on a music trading site. These people are all hippies, and very funny. Some pretty deranged, but overall very sweet. All of a sudden it was 2am and I went out to my car and slept, puked on the street, Jack has not been apart of my diet as of late he didn't sit too well, then I slept more.

In the morning I drove my mom to her car, and asked her to teach me forgivness.

My brothers wife fucked around on him with my other brothers best friend, got knocked up, and divorced him. On the day of his divorce he went to the the DR for his headaches as his insurance was going to be gone after the divorce. Well thats the day he found out about the tumor, and she gave birth to the new kid....So I am still a little bitter.

My mom gives me a talk about how people do things yada yada yada. She is very good, but if the POS shows up tommorow we WILL have words...<noooo Refrieddreams count to 10.....ok, I will be very kind and polite....:blink: > although she did kill him, not with a gun but with a broken heart, weakened imune system and then cancer.

Soo

I drop off my mom and went to pick up my daughter SATURDAY is a good day for me We went to old stomping grounds trying to spread the news to old friends about my brothers passing, and to let them know about his party tommorow.

We are having a get together at a local park known for frisbee golf (remember hippy) share a case of Sierra Nevada, and then go to a local club to celebrate.

Ok...I will leave you with a few things....

There was a dry erase board in my sisters kitchen that had his "cycle" 44 pills, chemo, supositories, yada yada she gave him on a daily basis for 11 months, when I got there last night it was erased...**** this is making me cry...ok, here is what it looks like now..
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid189/p777bab40adb946f40391cac22413b898/f20efd22.jpg

This is the picture he took with him, our 2 lil angels...

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid189/p6b0561df51613782bd8bf5b0204f2a55/f20efd1b.jpg

This is a board I found that knows my bro, I posted on the bottom...

http://db.etree.org/messageboards/read.php?f=2&i=30306&t=30306


Thanks for being supportive guys. It's funny, after he died I had no desire to speak to my x and the mom of my baby, but someone else.

The internet is a cool place huh?

Thanks again, I will update again after the celebration tommorow.

YALL rock!

 

[JonesersRX7]

I don't know really what to say but I will say I think celebrating is the best thing.... I would want people to through a party...

You know that we are all here for your support... Your AM bro's

 

[Nabeshin]

I wish I knew what to say. Your account of your brother's passing has moved me. I believe that you honor his memory through the sincerity of your expression. I second Joneser in that I'd like a party when I go as well.

I wish you and yours all the best.

 

[Malek256]

There can be no doubt he understood how much he is loved. That is the greatest gift any of us can receive.

 

[wranglergirl]

My heart goes out to you....time really does help...it heals.....(((HUGZ)))) you, your family and your brother are in my thoughts....

 

[RipdnTxs2]

I think that talking about the person, and remembering all the good times is a great tribute to those who have passed... Be strong for your family, and take care of yourself.

 

[refrieddreams]

thanks..I dont have time to post but I am going through highs and lows right now.
I do have an awesome picture of his daughter releasing a baloon with a note she wrote on it...will put up tommorow, and explain my feeling in better detail. Anyways, YALL rock...

 

[Apowerz6]

All i can say is that God is with all yall always, and your Brother lives on through his daughter, and through your familiy's memories. God bless and keep up the memory.

 

[refrieddreams]

Well, it went well. Awesome weather, awesome "service". I got a hold of some old friends that showed up, it was really cool. I had "issues" with my babys mommy... but, I'm over it.


Overall, it was cool, I lost it when we showed up at the party, and my daughter looked at me and said "NOW, can we see uncle JAY??" but when you ask her if Uncle Jay is sick, she says "Not anymore!!!" shes only 2 so it is really sweet.

Here is Jays daughter releasing her balloon...it was really cool.

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid189/p4c568bfadeaf6729d371d034d2e20bd7/f2091ec1.jpg

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid189/p4c568bfadeaf6729d371d034d2e20bd7/f2091ec1.jpg

 

[refrieddreams]

damn imagestation....

 

[refrieddreams]

damn imagestation....

 

[refrieddreams]

damn webshots....

 

[refrieddreams]

Thanks AM

 

[Apowerz6]

No, thank you for allowing us to share, offer positivity, prayer, and kind words during this tough time.

 

[az2u]

My condolences to you and everyone that loved your brother. R.I.P. Jay.

 

[cable626]

What a beautiful picture. Happy and sad thoughts must be overwhelming you right now. stay strong.