Cuffs' Road To Recovery...Let The Healing Begin!

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    Cuffs' Road To Recovery...Let The Healing Begin!


    Okay AM dudes and chicks. I am starting this thread so I can get advice from all you experienced and knowledegable folks. As most of you know from my "My World Is Crashing Around Me" thread, I have been going through a tough time. The thread turned out to be one of the, if not the, largest threads here on AM. I am ready to get my **** together and recover. Time to feel good about myself and be happy.

    I am going to continue with my counseling. It has been helping me a great deal, and I want to be a better person for when I do find that special lady once again.

    Now, here's my dilemma. I haven't really dated in 20 or so years. Well, last time I 'played the field' was during my separation in my first marriage. So, it's been like 13 or so years. That was only for a short time though. I'm not out looking for anything serious for quit some time. But, I'm going to need the booty calls, and the dating experiences. I don't want to get tied down too quickly. One thing I have lacked for sometime is self esteem and confidence. Also, I can not read ladies for the life of me.

    So, I'm asking once again for some help from the great peeps of this board to help get me up and going in my new chapter in life. of course I'm wanting to go full steam ahead, but I know I need to slow my roll so as to not get all caught up in any drama.

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    If it's booty you want.. get a hooker until you're ready to get fully back in the game lol

    No hassle for you that way. lol
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    Good to hear this Cuffs! All I can say is you definitely want to be confident and you shouldn't have a reason to have low self esteem my friend. It sounds like you are a good guy that has many quality features, focus on the good things about you. Just be your self, have fun, and look for chicks who have a good head on their shoulders and you'll be okay
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    Well, let me start off with an experience I have been having with one chick. This girl is really cool, 24 years, and a looker. Anyways, she invites me out last Tuesday and we have a few beers and talk. She starts telling me she would be one of my booty call girls and that she has a lot of friends she can introduce me to. She gives me a kiss goodnite and we had to take off separately for reasons beyond our control. She has been text messaging me and we've been talking on the phone often.

    Yesterday, we were supposed to hook up and go to a downtown event, but she had too much homework to finish. So, we played around with text messaging and phone calls, plus I had to work late. Now, this girl is pretty freaky when it comes to sex. At least this is what I heard, and I usually don't listen to rumors. But, the info received was from reliable sources. She starts talking very sexually with me, asking about preferences and such. She then asks me to send her a picture of my aroused package via the cell phone. I knew I was getting set up for sure. So, I told her to send me one, then I'd send her one. I never thought she'd send me one. I quickley receive a picture of her pierced nipple. ****, now I have to come through or I look like an ass. She tells me once I got home to give her a call and she would talk dirty to help me out. So, I did just that, took the pic and sent it away. When I hit the send button I thought, WTF am I doing? Well, it must have impressed her because next thing I know she's calling me back and we're on the phone for over 2 hours talking about all types of sex stuff. She's telling me she has friends who are into 3-ways and she will arrange it for me, and she will help me out whenever I need to just 'get off'. Holly ****, I only heard about these girls. Didn't know they actually existed. If you see this girl, you'd never think it of her either.

    Hmmm...when I do the age math, I begin to think what a fckin pervert I must be. But, then I think of when this opportunity would ever present itself again in my life. Seize the moment I guess.

    I just don't want to become a pig, and treat ladies differently. I will also seek ladies to take out on real dates, but have this deal on the side.
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    damn, do it while you can bro. remember, this wasn't your idea. she's suggesting it. 24y/o is plenty of old enough to make her own decisions.

    take advantage IMO.
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    you are NOT a perv and you are NOT doing anything wrong considering this is ALL her idea .. first off 24 is plenty old .. hell its older than i am haha

    but you probably should stay FAR AWAY from this chick and for your own good .. PM me her number .. i'm only looking out for you buddy
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    Quote Originally Posted by glenihan
    you are NOT a perv and you are NOT doing anything wrong considering this is ALL her idea .. first off 24 is plenty old .. hell its older than i am haha

    but you probably should stay FAR AWAY from this chick and for your own good .. PM me her number .. i'm only looking out for you buddy
    no luck bro, she only digs guys taller than her.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beelzebub
    no luck bro, she only digs guys taller than her.
    No luck for your either I understand. She likes guy with bigger calves than her

    OWNED!

    heheh
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    or canadians. she likes guns.
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    heh
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    You're killing me McFly.

    Cuffs' Road To Recovery...Let The Healing Begin!

    I am ready to get my **** together and recover. Time to feel good about myself and be happy.

    I am going to continue with my counseling. It has been helping me a great deal, and I want to be a better person
    Some injuries never heal because we never give them the proper and complete treatment they need to let them heal fully. The pain goes away and we think it is healed.

    It is just when the pain goes away that the healing is just begun to have the opportunity to start.

    Performing with injured parts is likely to cause greater injury if used before completely healed. Stop using the part, imobilization, cast, splint, treatment and therapy are in order...not cautious use.

    This is the opprotunity of a lifetime. DON'T MISS IT!!!

    The female species will not become extinct in the meantime.

    Buddies tell you what you want to hear, friends tell you what you don't.

    Be wise and well my friend.
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    I knew I could count on your words B5150. Such a wise dude. I need to do some serious soul searching here and make sure I'm not going to get in over my head. I also need to keep my options open.

    And Glen...yeah, she only likes guys taller than her. She's around 5-8 or 5-9. But thanks for the being willing to take one for the team.
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    ... i hate you guys

    ... i could wear my cowboy boots .. they make me 5'10!
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    yeah but then she'd wear heels and you'd still be ****ed.
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    damn you houseman ... you too beelze .. and cuffs you're my hero
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    Quote Originally Posted by glenihan
    damn you houseman ... you too beelze .. and cuffs you're my hero
    and you're welcome.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beelzebub
    damn, do it while you can bro. remember, this wasn't your idea. she's suggesting it. 24y/o is plenty of old enough to make her own decisions.

    take advantage IMO.
    Bingo....do the three some ASAP. Have some fun. This is probably your last chance

    Damn....somebody upstairs must like you. I mean, now you must know why all this happened...you're gonna get yer ****in' **** rocked off
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    Cuffs, you're really moving! See how things can change in a week or 2? You should have some fun, help you heal for sure. And this whole thing has blown up into a really good discussion of life sh!t we all go through from time to time, so thanks for opening up the worm-can!
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    Not to bring up old wounds...

    But next time you're talking to your wife and she askes how you are doing you should reply with:

    "Just great actually. This separation/divorse was a great idea now I've had sometime to adjust and think. Finally got that 3-some I've always fantasized about".

    I kow I know. I'm an evil, evil man
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    LOL...I'd do it, too, bro. And, I wouldn't feel one damn bit bad about it
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    Quote Originally Posted by houseman
    Not to bring up old wounds...

    But next time you're talking to your wife and she askes how you are doing you should reply with:

    "Just great actually. This separation/divorse was a great idea now I've had sometime to adjust and think. Finally got that 3-some I've always fantasized about".

    I kow I know. I'm an evil, evil man
    nicely done houseman.
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    me either man. me ****in either.

    Mess with the bull you get the horns!
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    One day you'll be married to the one meant for you. You will be permanently attached. You will look back at this moment and say...

    1. DAMN that was GREAT
    - or -
    2. DAMN why didn't I DO IT????????

    I vote for option #1. But remember, if you put your meat into the communal fridge, wrap it carefully or it will spoil.
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    Carpe Diem brother...and houseman, "I'm lovin' it" ...I would rub the **** all up in my ex's face too...
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    Well, if I do start seeing other people, or going to booty calls, I'm not going to rub it in her face. I'm just not that way. I'm not looking to be vindictive or hurtful. What's done is done and there is no changing it. I still want to remain cordial with her. Hell, we spent almost 8 years together and I will always love her. She is the first person I can honestly say that I truely love. Also, what good would it do me by rubbing it in her face? All she would have to do is say she has been having 3-somes with two dudes, then who feels hurt?

    My wife has called me a few times today, out of the blue. She was even at the house and found a box of condoms in my night stand. She asked me about them and I told her I bought them for us, which I did.

    I ran into the chick who I sent that pic to just a short time ago. She works at an office I visit during my workday. Anyways, she pulled me to the side and said "very impressive", and how she liked the pic. Made me feel good in a way. She then told me if I was ever home alone and needed to just get off, I could call her and the least she would do is talk dirty to me on the phone so I could enjoy. Hmmmm...this is getting interesting.

    I left her office and began to think if I'm doing the right thing. Then I remembered what B5150 posted about, and I know he is right. I think I'm basically looking for someone to give me some form of comfort at this time. Someone to help the pain go away. That can be dangerous. I started thinking, if this chick is all over me this quickly, then she will be there in the near future as well. Especially if I play the hard to get, or not so interested roll. She seems to be the type who likes to conquer her prey, and hates to be told she can't have. I'm still going to keep my options open. If the 3-way thing happens, then I hope it happens a few times, as long as it is good. And yes...I will brag about it. But, I will post it in the Adult Section with a thread attachment for this one, as I don't wish to offend any members here.
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    don't do it, Cuffs -

    I really *DO* understand the temptation, but you've been seriously jerked around, and this woman isn't going to help you over that...and as generous as her 'offers' no doubt feel, there are regrets down that road that you may not want - and you don't need - to bear.

    You have poured yourself out in the name of love; to heal, you need to fill yourself back up again - you need to remember how to be happy being yourself. Give yourself a year, I'd say, before you start letting females pull at you. Your strength and your heart need it, and need you to be a warrior in your own cause. Be a friend, be a brother, be a father - but be yourself, in your own way and at your own speed. Strong and clear boundaries can be your best friends now. You will be kinder and more nurturing to yourself now than she or her friends, and you need what they would take from you

    When you're where you need to be in heart and mind, you'll have no trouble finding a better, truer her.

    I wanted so much to get in on the other thread...but it was too personal: our lives are very parallel right now, and we seem to be similar in how we're holding it all, too. I got the final word from my wife this week, too; and I have had the freakazoid hottie 15 years younger make offers I could hardly believe, too (not this week); and already had some of that play out and paid some on the cost; and I am doing my best to stay centered, stay focused, and stay strong for myself and my daughter. not trying to climb on board here, just saying that we're not so far apart.

    anyway, I have total confidence that you can do this - just keep an eye on the long view, forgive yourself for all the might-have-beens, and keep breathing...let yourself grieve. Brian is SO right - there's so much wisdom in every word he posted. let it happen, stay with it!

    be well, my brother.
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    Wow Brian, you're a pretty wise man "Buddies tell you what you want to hear, friends tell you what you don't" BUT maybe Cuffs just needs to satisfy his needs. I know I do from time to time and it makes me feel great. Do what's best for you Cuffs. That 3 some sounds very juicy.
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    This is where the age gap comes in. You hear the older gentleman saying don't be hasty and take your time while us younger guys would go out and hit this chick off along with her freaky ass friends. In the end it comes down to you and where your priorities lie. Obviously you shouldn't expect any sort of a long term relationship with this woman. And who knows what kind of diseases she might possibly have. Then again when are you going to have the chance to participate in a threesome. A dilemma indeed. Sounds corny, but follow your heart. I'm sure you'll do the right thing.
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    The age gap plays a large role in this. If I was younger, I wouldn't have thought twice and already made the arrangements to hit it. ****, the chick tells me there may even be a 4-some, that 3 of her girls may be interested. Also, she has an attorney who is interested in going out with me. As far as I know she is clean, but who can say for sure. She stressed the fact that she gets physicals every 6 months, and has always had a clean bill of health, always uses condoms. Oh yeah, and she said she swallows.

    I'm leaning towards backing off a bit, and maybe just keeping he flirting going on a tad longer. My wife is confusing th **** out of me. She leaves me a note saying she misses me, but it may be because she is out of her comfort zone. She tells me she loves me, calls me and text messages me all the time. She also says we don' know what the future holds and we may get back together, but she doesn't want to give me false hopes. ****, just when I thought I was moving on, I'm crying once again. That's why I need to hold off on things a bit. The sex, or orgy if you may, would be only a temporary fix for my problem. Basically a bandaid on a broken leg. Thanks for the advice Brian (B5150). We'll see were this all takes me. I don't know if I will have the will power to say no to the orgy though. I do have some viagra laying around too.
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    Stay away from the crazy wife....she's nuts. Forget her ****in' notes. I believe many of us (or at least me) said she'd be doing weird **** like this. NEXT it gets ugly. I'm sorry, but it will, and that's regardless of how nice you are to her. She is no longer the puppeteer and she is gonna get pissed. Look at my age, disregard my info for that fact, but I'm pretty damn positive in this.

    Screw the viagra...get some cialis and make a weekend out of the orgy on one dose
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    Quote Originally Posted by kwyckemynd00
    Stay away from the crazy wife....she's nuts. Forget her ****in' notes. I believe many of us (or at least me) said she'd be doing weird **** like this. NEXT it gets ugly. I'm sorry, but it will, and that's regardless of how nice you are to her. She is no longer the puppeteer and she is gonna get pissed. Look at my age, disregard my info for that fact, but I'm pretty damn positive in this.

    Screw the viagra...get some cialis and make a weekend out of the orgy on one dose
    If you were the vindicative type you could have some real fun with the ex right now...Just a thought
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    I say you go for it brother. Whats the worst thing that can happen? Like you said, as long as you both understand that its not going to turn into anything serious, than theres no pressure. Have some fun man. You deserve it!

    Either way, best of luck to ya!
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    Quote Originally Posted by DieTrying
    I say you go for it brother. Whats the worst thing that can happen? Like you said, as long as you both understand that its not going to turn into anything serious, than theres no pressure. Have some fun man. You deserve it!

    Either way, best of luck to ya!
    I agree...you're officially 20 something again for a few months Live it up!
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    have fun, start having fun again!!!
    My Little Site about Hair Loss & Anabolics-
    hair loss from steroids dot com
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    The sex, or orgy if you may, would be only a temporary fix for my problem. Basically a bandaid on a broken leg. Thanks for the advice Brian (B5150). We'll see were this all takes me. I don't know if I will have the will power to say no to the orgy though.
    Perfect analogy. B5150's advice is sound. As far as the orgy, you just need to to decide if you want to live a life that revolves around external pleasures and fleeting happiness or are you looking for something a little more permanent and fulfilling. It's tough to deny the flesh, but that's character building for ya. I still stand by my advice in your last thread. Do that first and you will find that decisions like these become no-brainers. I am not saying you wouldn't chose the orgy; just different motives behind the decision. Need or " for free & for fun". It currently sounds more like the need @ this moment, but that's IMHO.

    Try some reading, "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz is a good place to start. I figure you already have the book I was talking about in your other thread.
    peace
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    The age gap plays a large role in this. If I was younger, I wouldn't have thought twice and already made the arrangements to hit it. ****, the chick tells me there may even be a 4-some, that 3 of her girls may be interested. Also, she has an attorney who is interested in going out with me. As far as I know she is clean, but who can say for sure. She stressed the fact that she gets physicals every 6 months, and has always had a clean bill of health, always uses condoms. Oh yeah, and she said she swallows.

    I'm leaning towards backing off a bit, and maybe just keeping he flirting going on a tad longer. My wife is confusing th **** out of me. She leaves me a note saying she misses me, but it may be because she is out of her comfort zone. She tells me she loves me, calls me and text messages me all the time. She also says we don' know what the future holds and we may get back together, but she doesn't want to give me false hopes. ****, just when I thought I was moving on, I'm crying once again. That's why I need to hold off on things a bit. The sex, or orgy if you may, would be only a temporary fix for my problem. Basically a bandaid on a broken leg. Thanks for the advice Brian (B5150). We'll see were this all takes me. I don't know if I will have the will power to say no to the orgy though. I do have some viagra laying around too.
    for your own sanity....i would not accept phone calls from your wife, move on..she is mentally messing with you........Not ok......

    it's like "dont want the toy in the sandbox until another kid is playing with it"......sadly your the toy.....

    ((((HUGZ))))) time to move on.......for your own sanity
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    The age gap plays a large role in this. If I was younger, I wouldn't have thought twice and already made the arrangements to hit it. ****, the chick tells me there may even be a 4-some, that 3 of her girls may be interested. Also, she has an attorney who is interested in going out with me. As far as I know she is clean, but who can say for sure. She stressed the fact that she gets physicals every 6 months, and has always had a clean bill of health, always uses condoms. Oh yeah, and she said she swallows.

    I'm leaning towards backing off a bit, and maybe just keeping he flirting going on a tad longer. My wife is confusing th **** out of me. She leaves me a note saying she misses me, but it may be because she is out of her comfort zone. She tells me she loves me, calls me and text messages me all the time. She also says we don' know what the future holds and we may get back together, but she doesn't want to give me false hopes. ****, just when I thought I was moving on, I'm crying once again. That's why I need to hold off on things a bit. The sex, or orgy if you may, would be only a temporary fix for my problem. Basically a bandaid on a broken leg. Thanks for the advice Brian (B5150). We'll see were this all takes me. I don't know if I will have the will power to say no to the orgy though. I do have some viagra laying around too.

    Look Cuffs you need to drop your ex. She's just ****ing with your head at this point. And why would you want to be with someone that makes you miserable? If you keep the 24yr old around.. She's a booty call nothing more. Make sure you keep that distiction. She's a little to "free" with her goods to make a long term, meaningful realtionship with her.
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    I hope your ex doesn't have a PI filming your reverse gangbang.
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    Quote Originally Posted by LCSULLA
    Look Cuffs you need to drop your ex. She's just ****ing with your head at this point. And why would you want to be with someone that makes you miserable? If you keep the 24yr old around.. She's a booty call nothing more. Make sure you keep that distiction. She's a little to "free" with her goods to make a long term, meaningful realtionship with her.
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    Quote Originally Posted by B5150
    I am ready to get my **** together and recover. Time to feel good about myself and be happy.

    I am going to continue with my counseling. It has been helping me a great deal, and I want to be a better person
    This is the opportunity of a lifetime. DON'T MISS IT!!!
    I want to make a point clear. I'm not saying that banging 3-4 chicks ain't going to be a freak show and a blast. But what will it accomplish in you reaching or achieving what you want to be as a person. You make statements like the ones I quoted, but yet your thinking gets distracted by the other carnal issues. You are struggling with double mindedness that will really mess you up if you are not careful. If you truely desire to become the person you profess to want to become then you need to walk a path that will lead you to the tools and growth opportunities that will elevate you to becoming that person. Hanging and banging with loose and promiscuous people are not the opportunities that will afford you this growth.

    Again, don't get me wrong, I am not, in this case, judging being a man-whore by any means. If that is what you desire to be than the associations that you have been keeping will surely aide in your success.

    But if you desire to recover, become a man of greater character and integrity, greater self respect and pride, you may need to reconsider your playmates.

    Pursue the people places and things that will support and encourage you to become who you want to become. Avoid those things that will be unproductive or destructive to you achieving your goals.

    You cannot walk two paths. Choose the path that you want to follow, get on it, and stay on it. Don't look back. It would be better to be sitting still, stuck and stalled, on the right path, than to be making good time on the wrong path.

    You plan cycles, you plan diets, you plan your training. You acquire the (insert AAS or not), you acquire the food and you acquire or utilize the equipment. Without the correct choices and application of the above you will not succede at achieving your goal. Your life is not different. Without the correct choices and applications and tools you will not succede at achieving your goals.

    It's your life. Plan your work and work your plan.

    If we stay in the middle of the road too long the odds increase that sooner or later we will get hit by a bus.

    My prayer for you my friend is that the Holy Spirit will knock you so hard, off to the right side of the fence you are sitting on, that you will be unable to find your way back to straddle it again.

    There are many different views and opinions that people can and will share. Mine is not necessarily the right or best one...just mine. I have some life experience, but that experince is worthless if I have not gained some wisdom, and useless if I did not share it. So I share it with you, humbly and grateful for your consideration.
    Last edited by David Dunn; 08-13-2005 at 01:57 PM. Reason: spelling
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