Cuffs' Road To Recovery...Let The Healing Begin!

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  1. Quote Originally Posted by joecski
    Just be careful, the meeting with the attorney might kill your libido!

    Best of luck to you Cuffs, have a great time, you deserve it !
    LOL...I know what you mean there. Actually, she is a prosecutor for the District Attorney's office in the county I work in. She's not a wild chick at all. Just nice, quiet, intelligent, very conservative. The kind of lady you'd bring home to mom. It may be nice just to go out and have dinner and a movie type of date. Just to hang out, talk, and get to know one another. Although, she may be the type who is looking for more down the road.


  2. Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    Although, she may be the type who is looking for more down the road.
    And as a prosecutor she is probably working 80 hours a week for $40,000/yr. Down the road she will be working 30 hours a week for $250/hr. I think I would probably go to dinner with her too and walk down that road!

    Then after dinner I would hook up with the 24 yr old to make a stop on that road!
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  3. Quote Originally Posted by joecski
    And as a prosecutor she is probably working 80 hours a week for $40,000/yr. Down the road she will be working 30 hours a week for $250/hr. I think I would probably go to dinner with her too and walk down that road!

    Then after dinner I would hook up with the 24 yr old to make a stop on that road!

  4. Quote Originally Posted by joecski
    And as a prosecutor she is probably working 80 hours a week for $40,000/yr. Down the road she will be working 30 hours a week for $250/hr. I think I would probably go to dinner with her too and walk down that road!

    Then after dinner I would hook up with the 24 yr old to make a stop on that road!
    Great minds think alike...LOL!

  5. Okay dudes. I'm posting up a pic of the 24 year old who has been talking to me. Am I bragging...maybe a bit. Had some phone sex with her last night. Kinda different for me. This girl is a pretty wild party chick. Anyways, she's the chick in the black and white stripe shirt. The others are her some of her friends she wants to hook me up with as well. A couple of them are cute. But, who the hell cares if it's 3 on 1??? Damn, this is going to be hard to resist. WG...please don't think any less of me...
    Last edited by Cuffs; 09-30-2005 at 07:19 PM.
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  6. Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    Okay dudes. I'm posting up a pic of the 24 year old who has been talking to me. Am I bragging...maybe a bit. Had some phone sex with her last night. Kinda different for me. This girl is a pretty wild party chick. Anyways, she's the chick in the black and white stripe shirt. The others are her some of her friends she wants to hook me up with as well. A couple of them are cute. But, who the hell cares if it's 3 on 1??? Damn, this is going to be hard to resist. WG...please don't think any less of me...
    BWaaqahahahahahahah........... .......YES. Give in to the dark side, Cuffs!

    MmmMMMMm is all I've got to say. Do you get to take all of them?

    I'm so very excited that you're recognizing the power and greatness of the dark side of the force, Cuffs

  7. Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    Yeah, I just found out my wife is dating a person from her work
    Wanted to stop you there Cuffs. That's a "slip of the tongue" and it's a dangerous one.

    As of a few days ago, any sentence like that you need to use "ex-wife" or "soon to be ex-wife". Yes, I know divorce has not yet happened, etc. but even though it sounds like you really have got your stuff together you need to keep your head straight and keep walking that tightrope. You need to see it as "done". Helps with you moving forward, insulates you some from any possible heartache.

    So, keeping with it the next thought to yourself is: "Why should that person's dating bother you? She's not part of your life now..."

    That mentality is what kept me sane. I hope this message doesn't come off as high-handed or something, there really was power in this (for me and a couple of friends who went through similar stuff).

    It sounds like you've already got that together based upon your posts but your subconscious needs a LOT to get itself programmed and small stuff adds up in it. The wrong words reinforce what you don't want, the right ones slowly reinforce what you do want.

    ...Not anything to lose my job over.
    Damn right.

    P.S. nice pic...lol now us married dudes will live vicariously through you!! But you might want to reconsider posting it. Your (and her) anonymity is lessened and you may find later that you wish it were not.

  8. Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    Oh well, just working on me now.
    Best advice for yourself yet. And Cuffs.....dump the Ex.

  9. Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    Okay dudes. I'm posting up a pic of the 24 year old who has been talking to me. Am I bragging...maybe a bit. Had some phone sex with her last night. Kinda different for me. This girl is a pretty wild party chick. Anyways, she's the chick in the black and white stripe shirt. The others are her some of her friends she wants to hook me up with as well. A couple of them are cute. But, who the hell cares if it's 3 on 1??? Damn, this is going to be hard to resist. WG...please don't think any less of me...
    Bro', you seem like a pretty decent guy, so here's advice from another arm-chair observer -just frickin' do it!!! Forget all the B.S philosophy about whether you should or you shouldn't and and enjoy frickin' life!!! I'm saying this as one of the OLDER guys on this board (older than 45, but younger than 60!) What's wrong with just being a decent, red-blooded male who enjoys consensual sex with an adult female (or females, as the case may be) whom he finds intriguing and attractive? I mean, am I missing something here? If you are truly too mentally and emotionally f'ed up to do so, then you should seek professional help rather than the opinion of people on this BB (like MYSELF, LOL!). As far as I know, you are a healthy, hetero, American male who enjoys female companionship - duh! That female companionship need not be the next love-of-your-life - she can simply be someone that you enjoy sharing sex, conversation, ****-talking, or whatever with in the here and now. However, if it somehow turns out that way, that's cool too. And as an aside, the comments about one woman's suitablity (or lack thereof)for introducing to family as oppopsed to another woman's is not only premature, but it's immature. Until you've spent time with a person and engaged them in more than just casual conversation or observed them through more than casual observation, you can't even begin to guess at this! It's that old, male double standard in your own head that causes you to categorize these women as lady or not-a-lady based on your perception of each one's sexual attitude, number of past partners, etc...which may or may not translate into how each one will behave in a steady relationship (see your Ex for a reference point). As you know, everyone is multidimensional, and what each individual chooses to present to another is often determined by what they perceive about that particular person, and not necessarily "what they are all about."

    It really seems like your confidence has been shaken by the soon-to-be-ex and the "revelation" that she's seeing/involved with someone else, which is pretty normal, BUT... you've got to get past that and focus on YOUR NEEDS. You're making a straightforward proposition by the 24 y/o into something that is wayyy too complicated. If there is a mutual physical attraction, AND both parties are being upfront about the "hey, this is just sex thing," then just frickin' do it. Otherwise, YOU are the one jerkin' the 24 y/o around because you are simple using her interest to pump up your ego and confidence by engaging her in talk, but not following up with action!!!

    Keep it simple, don't lie, don't lead people on. and enjoy your health and good looks the way that any normal male would. Finally, you don't need to try to impress anyone else (yes, that includes all of us on this BB) with how desirable various women find you (and about one gazillion other men - duh!)- you simply need to be honest with yourself about what you can or cannot handle, what you desire or you don't, on a day-to-day basis and stop behaving as if any and every encounter with an attractive woman has to lead to your next "permanent" relationship!

    Roger willco, over and out...

  10. Quote Originally Posted by the Cardinal
    Bro', you seem like a pretty decent guy, so here's advice from another arm-chair observer -just frickin' do it!!! Forget all the B.S philosophy about whether you should or you shouldn't and and enjoy frickin' life!!! I'm saying this as one of the OLDER guys on this board (older than 45, but younger than 60!) What's wrong with just being a decent, red-blooded male who enjoys consensual sex with an adult female (or females, as the case may be) whom he finds intriguing and attractive? I mean, am I missing something here? If you are truly too mentally and emotionally f'ed up to do so, then you should seek professional help rather than the opinion of people on this BB (like MYSELF, LOL!). As far as I know, you are a healthy, hetero, American male who enjoys female companionship - duh! That female companionship need not be the next love-of-your-life - she can simply be someone that you enjoy sharing sex, conversation, ****-talking, or whatever with in the here and now. However, if it somehow turns out that way, that's cool too. And as an aside, the comments about one woman's suitablity (or lack thereof)for introducing to family as oppopsed to another woman's is not only premature, but it's immature. Until you've spent time with a person and engaged them in more than just casual conversation or observed them through more than casual observation, you can't even begin to guess at this! It's that old, male double standard in your own head that causes you to categorize these women as lady or not-a-lady based on your perception of each one's sexual attitude, number of past partners, etc...which may or may not translate into how each one will behave in a steady relationship (see your Ex for a reference point). As you know, everyone is multidimensional, and what each individual chooses to present to another is often determined by what they perceive about that particular person, and not necessarily "what they are all about."

    It really seems like your confidence has been shaken by the soon-to-be-ex and the "revelation" that she's seeing/involved with someone else, which is pretty normal, BUT... you've got to get past that and focus on YOUR NEEDS. You're making a straightforward proposition by the 24 y/o into something that is wayyy too complicated. If there is a mutual physical attraction, AND both parties are being upfront about the "hey, this is just sex thing," then just frickin' do it. Otherwise, YOU are the one jerkin' the 24 y/o around because you are simple using her interest to pump up your ego and confidence by engaging her in talk, but not following up with action!!!

    Keep it simple, don't lie, don't lead people on. and enjoy your health and good looks the way that any normal male would. Finally, you don't need to try to impress anyone else (yes, that includes all of us on this BB) with how desirable various women find you (and about one gazillion other men - duh!)- you simply need to be honest with yourself about what you can or cannot handle, what you desire or you don't, on a day-to-day basis and stop behaving as if any and every encounter with an attractive woman has to lead to your next "permanent" relationship!

    Roger willco, over and out...
    word

  11. Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    True, but those are the things I missing right now. I believe what the others were trying to say with their messages was, don't get caught up and **** up your emotions more than they already are. If I start to think the love is in the booty call sex, or clinging to the first thing I hook up with, then I'm on the path to failure. I know to not do this, but human emotions are nothing to screw with. The threeway???...well, I will not pass that up again. Unless the chicks turn out to be baggers, or something I need to drink pretty. I don't mean to sound shallow WG, so don't please don't think any less of me. I'm just going to be picky who I am with. I do have some standards.
    I won't..... just be careful, sometimes in our pain we do things we regret later.......((((HUGZ))))

  12. Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    Okay dudes. I'm posting up a pic of the 24 year old who has been talking to me. Am I bragging...maybe a bit. Had some phone sex with her last night. Kinda different for me. This girl is a pretty wild party chick. Anyways, she's the chick in the black and white stripe shirt. The others are her some of her friends she wants to hook me up with as well. A couple of them are cute. But, who the hell cares if it's 3 on 1??? Damn, this is going to be hard to resist. WG...please don't think any less of me...
    Empty meaningless sex... couldnt hurt I suppose.

    Btw... she looks like she will eat you alive....hehe

  13. Do what you want to fill the void you feel... it`s your choice... just remember no matter where you go... you can`t run away from yourself...

    and in time you will need to deal with "Life on Lifes terms."

  14. Quote Originally Posted by EEmain
    Do what you want to fill the void you feel... it`s your choice... just remember no matter where you go... you can`t run away from yourself...

    and in time you will need to deal with "Life on Lifes terms."

  15. Quote Originally Posted by EEmain
    Do what you want to fill the void you feel... it`s your choice... just remember no matter where you go... you can`t run away from yourself...

    and in time you will need to deal with "Life on Lifes terms."
    I totally hear you E. I haven't made up my mind with what I'm going to do. It's just weird getting these proposals all of a sudden. I'll be sure to be responsible with whatever my decision is.

    I contacted my cousin today. She is a principal at an elemtary school. I told her about my ordeal and she said there were a few cute teachers she knows of who are looking to date a nice dude. These are good ladies who you would be proud to take home to mom. I may start the slow dating thing to pass the time, get to know different people, and have new experiences, while I continue to heal myself. Not rush into anything.

  16. aww cuffs im soo glad ur moving on.....about the casual sex thing, do it!!! nothing wrong with it as long as ur careful and hurting anyone. besides ur only single for so long usually. oh and that girls' cute

    ur wife, yes shes what makes me ill, women who mess with nice guys make me "upset".......

  17. Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Gimpy
    aww cuffs im soo glad ur moving on.....about the casual sex thing, do it!!! nothing wrong with it as long as ur careful and hurting anyone. besides ur only single for so long usually. oh and that girls' cute

    ur wife, yes shes what makes me ill, women who mess with nice guys make me "upset".......
    Its official...you've got Mrs. Gimpy tellin' you to bone that 24 yr old....you've gotta do it

  18. Okay, so I'm working late last night and I get invited over to a house to have a couple of beers. While I'm there, my phone rings. It's my wife. As we're talking, a couple of girls at this house start saying their going to talk **** to make my wife jealous. I looked at them and shook my head no, to just leave it be. Well, they began saying some **** and I had to hang up quickly. My wife tried calling me back, but I would not answer. I spoke to her the following day and she is upset that I'm with these girls, saying I had them lined up all along, and how I couldn't wait for her to leave me before moving on. ****...give me a ****ing break here. I tried to explain, but it didn't help. Anyways, then she tells me it's none of her business, and how she is dating this guy now and going out of town with him. She then starts to question me on who the girls were, where I was, what we did, and so on. She then tells me she's filing for divorce come Monday.

    And the weird part of this whole deal...I'm not all that upset. I kinda feel a little crappy, but I think I'm about over the hump on this.

    I'll fill you all in on what took place last night with me. Let's just say, I'm a bit dehydrated today.

  19. Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    . My wife tried calling me back, but I would not answer.
    This is definitely the right move. Let the old voicemail pick it up. If it's important, you can call right back. Most of the time it's not important.

    Glad to hear things are moving right along Cuffs! Can't wait to hear the story!

  20. Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    Okay, so I'm working late last night and I get invited over to a house to have a couple of beers. While I'm there, my phone rings. It's my wife. As we're talking, a couple of girls at this house start saying their going to talk **** to make my wife jealous. I looked at them and shook my head no, to just leave it be. Well, they began saying some **** and I had to hang up quickly. My wife tried calling me back, but I would not answer. I spoke to her the following day and she is upset that I'm with these girls, saying I had them lined up all along, and how I couldn't wait for her to leave me before moving on. ****...give me a ****ing break here. I tried to explain, but it didn't help. Anyways, then she tells me it's none of her business, and how she is dating this guy now and going out of town with him. She then starts to question me on who the girls were, where I was, what we did, and so on. She then tells me she's filing for divorce come Monday.

    And the weird part of this whole deal...I'm not all that upset. I kinda feel a little crappy, but I think I'm about over the hump on this.

    I'll fill you all in on what took place last night with me. Let's just say, I'm a bit dehydrated today.
    Sorry for your troubles Bro You know I told you things sounded like they would work out but we never know what the other is thinking... have to go with the others here man... you do not need her ****ing with your head... move on so YOU can heal and put this behind you

  21. Quote Originally Posted by EEmain
    Sorry for your troubles Bro You know I told you things sounded like they would work out but we never know what the other is thinking... have to go with the others here man... you do not need her ****ing with your head... move on so YOU can heal and put this behind you
    Get this, as I'm talking to her on the phone a few ago, I get a text message from her saying "I'm talking to the ****head right now." I hit her up about it. Obviously she sent it to the wrong person. She ment to send it to her new boyfriend. She began apologizing and I made her feel like ****. I have never said a bad word about her to anyone. I still won't stoop to that level, but this helps me to get over her, and to finally become a bit angry.

    I have my next counseling session tonight. Thank God!

    On a good note, I did get laid a couple times early this morning. I'll fill in later, via a link from the adult section. I don't wish to offend anyone.

  22. Sad / glad you got to / have to see the person on the inside coming out.

    I still don't believe her that she didn't have anything going on previously. Crazy woman

  23. Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    "I'm talking to the ****head right now."

    .
    look on the bright side, at least u discovered that she was alittle crazy before u were 80 and couldnt find anyone else

  24. Quote Originally Posted by Cuffs
    Get this, as I'm talking to her on the phone a few ago, I get a text message from her saying "I'm talking to the ****head right now." I hit her up about it. Obviously she sent it to the wrong person. She ment to send it to her new boyfriend. She began apologizing and I made her feel like ****. I have never said a bad word about her to anyone. I still won't stoop to that level, but this helps me to get over her, and to finally become a bit angry.

    I have my next counseling session tonight. Thank God!
    So much for never

  25. Had my counseling session and told my therapist everything. Even about the night of wild sex. I told her that I almost feel a bit guilty for the sex. She told me that was normal, but I'm a healthy male who is looking for sex and companionship. As long as there is an understanding between both, then there's nothing to feel guilty or worry about. Then she dove into how these are new days and condoms are important...lalala. LOL. She said she supports what I am doing, andit seems I'm finally coming out. She's glad I'm starting to get angry as it's the next step I needed to get to.

    I feel much better after this last session.

    Now...off to the adult side to talk about my coming out. I'll post a link here when it's finished.
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