LEARNING TO SPELL WITH DARNELL

  1. Unbreakable
    David Dunn's Avatar

    Talking LEARNING TO SPELL WITH DARNELL


    This is "Learning to Spell with Darnell." I be Darnell Jackson,and today we're gonna spell the word __________. Spell it with me now, ____________. Now let's use it in a sentence.

    Fortify:
    "I asked this trick down on 6 Mile-How much? She said fortify dollars, honey."

    Formaldehyde:
    "The police came to my door looking for my cousin Melvin, I told them there ain't no place formaldehyde in the house, it be too small."

    Foreclose:
    "If I don't pay my alimony this month, I'll have more money foreclose."

    Fascinate:
    "My sister Wolanda bought a sweater with ten buttons on it, but her tits are so big, she can only fascinate."

    Disappointment:
    "My parole officer told me, if I miss disappointment, he's going to send me back to the big house."

    Dimension:
    "A lot of you ladies been calling in wondering what Darnel look like. Well, he's tall, dark, handsome, not dimension hung like a horse."

    Derange:
    "Derange is where the deer and the antelope play."

    Decide:
    "My favorite girls are Wanda and Yolanda, but I like to keep a couple on decide."

    Data:
    "At my basketball game the other night, I score a triple double and my coach said data boy Darnell."

    Copulate:
    "I called 911 and an hour later when they showed up, I said copulate."

    Connoisseur:
    "I says to my friend Ramone, man you really stink today, what connoisseur did you crawl out of?"

    Coatroom:
    "The judge said, one more outburst like that and I'll have the bailiff clear the coatroom."

    Clothesline:
    "When I came home late again, I found my clothesline on the porch."

    Catacomb:
    "I went to the Douglas/Hollyfield fight and sat next to Don King: man, someone oughta get that catacomb."

    Button:
    "My girlfriend Juanita bought some leopard skin stretch pants. I said girl, you won't get you button 'em."

    Beware:
    "I asked the man at the employment office, is this beware I find me a job?"

    Battery:
    "The coach told my cousin Reggie he better start swinging the battery won't be in the line up tomorrow."

    Bagdad:
    "I always wondered what was in the Bagdad use to drink out of when he was sitting on the front porch."

    Assert:
    "On the way home from work, I always take assert so my old lady don't smell liquor on my breath."

    Anus:
    "The policeman told me and my friend Jerome they be looking for the two guys that held up the liquor store and we said---anus."

    Afford:
    "I wanted to buy a Cadillac, but then had to settle for afford."
    Life is a terminal condition.

    She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway.

  2. Unbreakable
    David Dunn's Avatar

    Actually Darnell is an old character. I got a kick out of "The Red Neck Dictionary" when I was watching Blue Collar TV with my son. That reminded me of old school Dranell Jackson.

    "The Red Neck Dictionary"

    composure:
    Alright everyone composure self over here so we can get a family picture.

    parade:
    The night my granddaddy was sick my ma and pa parade and parade that he would get well.
    Life is a terminal condition.

    She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway.
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  3. Yes, it reminded me of Jeff Foxworhty. That tour of his and Larry the Cable guy are hilarious.

  4. Unbreakable
    David Dunn's Avatar

    The police officer informed me that I did have the right to remain silent. The problem was I did not possess the ability
    Life is a terminal condition.

    She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway.

  5. Never hear of of B5150, but that's some funny **** LMAO @ Disappointment: "My parole officer told me, if I miss disappointment, he's going to send me back to the big house."
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  6. Unbreakable
    David Dunn's Avatar

    Good one

    urinate

    My girlfriend told me that her old boyfriend didn't think much of her appearance. So to make her feel better about herself I said "honey...urinate in my book for sure!"
    Life is a terminal condition.

    She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway.

  7. Mayonaisse:
    Mayonaisse some funny ones in your first post

    Initiate:
    My fat ass Girlfriend at a whole pizza by herself. Initiate a bag of chips, initiate a bowl of ice-cream.
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    David Dunn's Avatar

    compared

    When at the plastic surgeon to get implants for my wife, the surgeon asked if we had any questions. I spoke up and asked did they compared or could I get them one at a time.

    sensuous

    My wife got up from the couch in the middle of the ball game. I said honey sensuous up would you get me a beer.

    officiate

    My buddy Cletus thinks he got food poisoning from officiate.
    Life is a terminal condition.

    She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway.

  9. "Muh sister is covered in moles."
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    David Dunn's Avatar

    parental:

    Whenever me and my sister go bowling we always need to get a parental shoes.
    Life is a terminal condition.

    She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway.
  11. Unbreakable
    David Dunn's Avatar

    discerning:

    Ireally don't like my job here at the sausage packing plant but I have to remember discerning me my drinking money.
    Life is a terminal condition.

    She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway.
  12. Unbreakable
    David Dunn's Avatar

    rapture:

    I can't recall anything about last night except that you rapture car around that telephone pole coming out of the bar's parking lot.
    Life is a terminal condition.

    She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway.
  13. Unbreakable
    David Dunn's Avatar

    infatuate:

    Lets break down your diet to see how much protein, carbs infatuate.
    Life is a terminal condition.

    She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway.
  14. Unbreakable
    David Dunn's Avatar

    catastrophe

    I entered my cat into a best ass contest. She brought home a catastrophe.
    Life is a terminal condition.

    She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway.
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