LEARNING TO SPELL WITH DARNELL

[B5150]

This is "Learning to Spell with Darnell." I be Darnell Jackson,and today we're gonna spell the word __________. Spell it with me now, ____________. Now let's use it in a sentence.

Fortify:
"I asked this trick down on 6 Mile-How much? She said fortify dollars, honey."

Formaldehyde:
"The police came to my door looking for my cousin Melvin, I told them there ain't no place formaldehyde in the house, it be too small."

Foreclose:
"If I don't pay my alimony this month, I'll have more money foreclose."

Fascinate:
"My sister Wolanda bought a sweater with ten buttons on it, but her tits are so big, she can only fascinate."

Disappointment:
"My parole officer told me, if I miss disappointment, he's going to send me back to the big house."

Dimension:
"A lot of you ladies been calling in wondering what Darnel look like. Well, he's tall, dark, handsome, not dimension hung like a horse."

Derange:
"Derange is where the deer and the antelope play."

Decide:
"My favorite girls are Wanda and Yolanda, but I like to keep a couple on decide."

Data:
"At my basketball game the other night, I score a triple double and my coach said data boy Darnell."

Copulate:
"I called 911 and an hour later when they showed up, I said copulate."

Connoisseur:
"I says to my friend Ramone, man you really stink today, what connoisseur did you crawl out of?"

Coatroom:
"The judge said, one more outburst like that and I'll have the bailiff clear the coatroom."

Clothesline:
"When I came home late again, I found my clothesline on the porch."

Catacomb:
"I went to the Douglas/Hollyfield fight and sat next to Don King: man, someone oughta get that catacomb."

Button:
"My girlfriend Juanita bought some leopard skin stretch pants. I said girl, you won't get you button 'em."

Beware:
"I asked the man at the employment office, is this beware I find me a job?"

Battery:
"The coach told my cousin Reggie he better start swinging the battery won't be in the line up tomorrow."

Bagdad:
"I always wondered what was in the Bagdad use to drink out of when he was sitting on the front porch."

Assert:
"On the way home from work, I always take assert so my old lady don't smell liquor on my breath."

Anus:
"The policeman told me and my friend Jerome they be looking for the two guys that held up the liquor store and we said---anus."

Afford:
"I wanted to buy a Cadillac, but then had to settle for afford."

 

[B5150]

Actually Darnell is an old character. I got a kick out of "The Red Neck Dictionary" when I was watching Blue Collar TV with my son. That reminded me of old school Dranell Jackson.

"The Red Neck Dictionary"

composure:
Alright everyone composure self over here so we can get a family picture.

parade:
The night my granddaddy was sick my ma and pa parade and parade that he would get well.

 

[ryansm]

Yes, it reminded me of Jeff Foxworhty. That tour of his and Larry the Cable guy are hilarious.

 

[B5150]

The police officer informed me that I did have the right to remain silent. The problem was I did not possess the ability :drunk:

 

[Iron Warrior]

Never hear of of B5150, but that's some funny **** LMAO @ Disappointment: "My parole officer told me, if I miss disappointment, he's going to send me back to the big house."

 

[B5150]

Good one :thumbsup:

urinate

My girlfriend told me that her old boyfriend didn't think much of her appearance. So to make her feel better about herself I said "honey...urinate in my book for sure!"

 

[SJA]

Mayonaisse:
Mayonaisse some funny ones in your first post

Initiate:
My fat ass Girlfriend at a whole pizza by herself. Initiate a bag of chips, initiate a bowl of ice-cream.

 

[B5150]

compared

When at the plastic surgeon to get implants for my wife, the surgeon asked if we had any questions. I spoke up and asked did they compared or could I get them one at a time.

sensuous

My wife got up from the couch in the middle of the ball game. I said honey sensuous up would you get me a beer.

officiate

My buddy Cletus thinks he got food poisoning from officiate.

 

[jmh80]

"Muh sister is covered in moles."

 

[B5150]

parental:

Whenever me and my sister go bowling we always need to get a parental shoes.

 

[B5150]

discerning:

Ireally don't like my job here at the sausage packing plant but I have to remember discerning me my drinking money.

 

[B5150]

rapture:

I can't recall anything about last night except that you rapture car around that telephone pole coming out of the bar's parking lot.

 

[B5150]

infatuate:

Lets break down your diet to see how much protein, carbs infatuate.

 

[B5150]

catastrophe

I entered my cat into a best ass contest. She brought home a catastrophe.