Anyone Have this problem?

**Frank Reynolds** · 06-18-2005, 05:51 PM

Ok well i was pretty out of shape at one point(a bit chubby) and very self concious in public, pool, beach whatever just always felt people were looking at me. Now that i am in shape, and 190(by no means big, but you can tell i workout) i am actually MORE self concious now.. I feel people are looking at me more, and especially at like family functions, etc where i go swimming i feel awkward as ****.. Am i just a ****ing lunitic? I am naturally pretty shy as it is..

Anyone else like this? Even if you were a twig at one pont, i am sure it could work both ways.
D

**Grassroots082** · 06-18-2005, 06:12 PM

Probably not a good authority on this, but they probably are looking at you. I mean you won't know one way or the other unless you start questioning, but what if they are thinking "Damn that imprezivr6 used to be chubby but now he is looking pretty good". Try to make it a positive, I am self concious as **** and I swear I get stared at more by guys than girls (

), but I come from the other boat as in I used to be real skinny so I would never take my shirt off either.

**Frank Reynolds** · 06-18-2005, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by Grassroots082

Probably not a good authority on this, but they probably are looking at you. I mean you won't know one way or the other unless you start questioning, but what if they are thinking "Damn that imprezivr6 used to be chubby but now he is looking pretty good". Try to make it a positive, I am self concious as **** and I swear I get stared at more by guys than girls (

), but I come from the other boat as in I used to be real skinny so I would never take my shirt off either.

Yea probally, but i am just really uncomfortable..LOL I think even if i was a ripped to all hell, i would still feel awkward as ****.. I cant really explain the feeling but it is like, if i was just chubby i am like an average person, but if you work out and have a decent body, or some size on you then you are looked at even more, judged more, hated on more, sterotyped, etc.. I guess since i am a shy person it is just the looks that bother me, and i guess i am thinking if people are looking at me, the are thinking **** like "look at this guy, thinks he is all big" mean while i am not big, nor do i think i am..LOL

Damn this..

**t_dot_porkchop** · 06-19-2005, 03:51 AM

i know what you mean. when i was fat i didnt have a care in the world about how i looked, how i dressed, etc....now that i work out and people tell me i look great, i am so self-conscious about things....it really is crazy and it sometimes pisses off my girlfriend.

**nodgodbod** · 06-19-2005, 11:10 AM

I used to get alot of similar grief from one of my life long "buddies". I knew the guy all my life and when we were young I was always small and skinny. Since I turned 18 I've been the same height as this guy plus I've been doing martial arts and lifting since then and have put on some muscle - I'm 5'9 and around 190lbs @12%bf - this other f**ker is 5'9, probly 160lbs and he has to be 25% bf. He doesn't do anything except pretend to play on a soccer team once a week and just sits on his ass the rest of his life, living it up cus his dad is loaded. In short he's got a serious problem with my entire lifestyle - always telling me to stop "flexing" all the time and that his arms were just as big as mine. This may sound like a childish rant on my part but I don't consider myself as being built or big (yet) by any stretch of the imagination - nor do I ever flex or even mention arm size. My whole attitude to life has always been to keep to myself but he berated me for "showing myself off" and acting "all tough". The end result being I felt very self conscious simply because this guy had an attitude problem -Needless to say I cut this "friend" out of my life - but that was for a few other reasons.

So the moral of that long winded post is: be happy with yourself (while eternally striving for improvement) and let others think what ever they like.

**DieTrying** · 06-19-2005, 11:24 AM

I'm with you imprezivr. I know exactly how you feel.

**wranglergirl** · 06-19-2005, 12:20 PM

I can relate...when i was in high school and even in college i was HUGE!! not just saying that yes I was....Now that I am thinner, its harder i think......esp when I am out ( thank god I cant go out much now, bum knee).......

In time your mind will adjust to your new body!!!!

**LakeMountD** · 06-19-2005, 12:48 PM

Funny you should mention that because that is EXACTLY HOW I AM! I am like addicted to looking a certain way and when I drop below a certain weight I freak out and I am like the most self conscious person ever. It really sucks too because there will be people who are truly envious of my body (people who dont have the same genes) and I will be bitching about this or that and they just want to kill me I can tell lol.

**jmh80** · 06-19-2005, 01:16 PM

Well, it could be worse imprez - Lake has an inferiorty complex towards field goals. Esp. ones to the right.

Hehe.

**Cuffs** · 06-20-2005, 06:29 PM

I can relate to this. I was a fat ass a couple years ago, lost 45 pounds of fat, and put on 40 pounds of muscle. I have people approach me daily, some I haven't seen in a year, telling me how different I look. I also catch strangers looking at me, and when I make eye contact, they turn away. Also, now even though I have much less fat than I did, I'm very self conscious about what fat I do have. I'll probably never be satisfied until I'm at 6-7% b/f, which I don't know will ever happen.

**Iron Warrior** · 06-20-2005, 09:50 PM

Originally Posted by jmh80

Well, it could be worse imprez - Lake has an inferiorty complex towards field goals. Esp. ones to the right.

Hehe.

LOL I love the jabs, you guys from the U can't help yourselves. I was the same way when Cal beat USC 2 years ago. I can't wait for football.

**max silver** · 06-20-2005, 09:59 PM

I'm in the same boat myself. I found that when I was on cycle, and at my highest ever bodyweight and pretty damn swole (for me at least), I was feeling really goddamn fat. Now fast forward 6 weeks later, and I'm a few weeks into a cutting phase, and depleted like a mother****er, and feeling absolutely puny.

**SJA** · 06-20-2005, 10:25 PM

I feel the exact same way. It seems that everyone (with the exception of BigPeteFox) on this board feels like that. I always wear loose fitting clothes. I rarely take off my shirt. If I'm at the beach and go swimming people who know me freak out and say things like "if I looked like that I'd run around with my shirt off 24/7". I've always been in somewhat good shape but since I started BB'ing, I've put on about 40 pounds of mass. I react the exact opposite of the way I thought I would. I'm always perplexed by this behavior

But I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who is down with the sickness

**fkngchucknorris** · 06-20-2005, 10:34 PM

Originally Posted by SJA

I feel the exact same way. It seems that everyone (with the exception of BigPeteFox) on this board feels like that. I always wear loose fitting clothes. I rarely take off my shirt. If I'm at the beach and go swimming people who know me freak out and say things like "if I looked like that I'd run around with my shirt off 24/7". I've always been in somewhat good shape but since I started BB'ing, I've put on about 40 pounds of mass. I react the exact opposite of the way I thought I would. I'm always perplexed by this behavior

But I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who is down with the sickness

Me too^^. Since I've started lifting I don't feel like really takin my shirt off or anything like that at all. I think it may be, because since lifting I see the problems with me, and won't be satisfied until I have the bodybuilder look. Dunno if that made sense but o well.

**max silver** · 06-21-2005, 01:32 AM

Hmm, we'll have to work on setting up a bodybuilders anonymous support group or some **** of that sort. I can see it now:
"Hi, my name is Bob (Bob is 5'9, 275 pounds and absolutely sliced) and I feel small"

**James** · 06-21-2005, 02:08 AM

I never take my shirt off in public. I dont like the attention.

**Beowulf** · 06-21-2005, 08:53 AM

WranglerGirl nailed it. It just takes some time to grow into it. I remember when I started lifting 3 years ago and first saw that I do in fact have abs. People complimented me all the time, even though I was scrawny. I always felt mortified by the attention. Now, I really don't care. People give me compliments, and I say "Thanks, I put a lot of effort into it." No need to be cocky or bashful. Just be honest. Of course, now I have 5-6 people at work asking me to hook them up with programs, so this approach will be keeping me busy giving out free advice.

**Beowulf** · 06-21-2005, 08:55 AM

It is funny though how different people respond. I work with a guy who is pretty jacked, though he is quite short. I've actually seen him flexing in the mirror in the middle of a popular after work bar we all go to. At least 20 people saw him and he was just looking at himself and smiling. To err on the side of bashfulness is definitely better IMO.

**Cuffs** · 06-21-2005, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by SJA

I feel the exact same way. It seems that everyone (with the exception of BigPeteFox) on this board feels like that. I always wear loose fitting clothes. I rarely take off my shirt. If I'm at the beach and go swimming people who know me freak out and say things like "if I looked like that I'd run around with my shirt off 24/7". I've always been in somewhat good shape but since I started BB'ing, I've put on about 40 pounds of mass. I react the exact opposite of the way I thought I would. I'm always perplexed by this behavior

But I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who is down with the sickness

Dude, I've seen your pics over at Avant, and you're dead sexy...LOL. I'll have to give Methyl1 the link.

I think being modest is a good thing. It's the arrogant ones that make me shake my head and wonder WTF.

**Frank Reynolds** · 06-21-2005, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by Cuffs

I think being modest is a good thing. It's the arrogant ones that make me shake my head and wonder WTF.

I 100% agree.. But i think what is the matter with me is far beyond modesty, i think it is actually a sickness. I am uncomfortable even when my wife gives me compliments, etc..

**Cuffs** · 06-21-2005, 02:59 PM

Originally Posted by imprezivr6

I 100% agree.. But i think what is the matter with me is far beyond modesty, i think it is actually a sickness. I am uncomfortable even when my wife gives me compliments, etc..

I am the same way. When I receive compliments from my wife, or others, I feel uncomfortable at the time. I feel good about myself, just uncomfortable at the time. I almost feel like they are giving me a compliment out of pity, and they don't realy mean what they had said.

**SJA** · 06-21-2005, 03:29 PM

Originally Posted by Cuffs

Dude, I've seen your pics over at Avant, and you're dead sexy...LOL. I'll have to give Methyl1 the link.

I think being modest is a good thing. It's the arrogant ones that make me shake my head and wonder WTF.

That was back in my younger days.....as you can see from my Avatar, I've gotten a bit older

Why on earth would you give Methyl1 that link? I thought that you liked me

**Cuffs** · 06-21-2005, 03:58 PM

Originally Posted by SJA

That was back in my younger days.....as you can see from my Avatar, I've gotten a bit older

Why on earth would you give Methyl1 that link? I thought that you liked me

LOL...dude, what a couple of years and a few hundred bottles of Thunderbird can do to one.

I do like you dude, I just think M1 will llike you in a "special" way.

**SJA** · 06-21-2005, 09:00 PM

Originally Posted by Cuffs

LOL...dude, what a couple of years and a few hundred bottles of Thunderbird can do to one.

I do like you dude, I just think M1 will llike you in a "special" way.

are you implying that I can try out for the 2005 "special Olympics of BB'ing"? Or are you saying that M1 would make a good cell mate

**bigpetefox** · 06-22-2005, 12:08 PM

Originally Posted by SJA

I feel the exact same way. It seems that everyone (with the exception of BigPeteFox) on this board feels like that.

HuH?

I also have had these same thoughts, and regardless of who anyone thinks I am, I do have feelings, sort of..

There are times when I don't want anyone touching me, there are times when I'm being paid for it.. We all go thru it, I'm sure guys bigger than anyone in this thread have those moments, yet people ASSume they don't for some repugnant reason..

**wranglergirl** · 06-22-2005, 12:54 PM

Thanks beowulf..........I truely belive that...In time you will grow into your "new body" with your new thinking...although it does take a LONG, time

**SJA** · 06-22-2005, 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by bigpetefox

HuH?

I also have had these same thoughts, and regardless of who anyone thinks I am, I do have feelings, sort of..

There are times when I don't want anyone touching me, there are times when I'm being paid for it.. We all go thru it, I'm sure guys bigger than anyone in this thread have those moments, yet people ASSume they don't for some repugnant reason..

This speaks for itself

**Frank Reynolds** · 06-22-2005, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by SJA

This speaks for itself

**bigpetefox** · 06-22-2005, 11:42 PM

Originally Posted by SJA

This speaks for itself

That doesn't mean anything, but I'm secure in my manhood, you know you want some leather pants, and even though I get flamed for that pic you guys still seem to bump the thread..

**Bean** · 06-23-2005, 04:56 AM

I can definitely relate from the other side
6'1 and 120lbs, you do the math... yeah i got stared at

now its even more so... i'm about 170 with a 28" waist, cut, and i think i look GREAT... guys stare more than girls... i dress in VERY nice clothes (expensive too) and a lot of them see that...
their girls stare, they stare, etc.. i take it as compliments nowadays... I eat right, I work out in the gym, I can run a 5min mile.... I have nothing to worry about... I just want a bit more size.

Dont be self conscious man... just be happy with what you've done. You deserve all the props you get....

**Beowulf** · 06-23-2005, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by bigpetefox

That doesn't mean anything, but I'm secure in my manhood, you know you want some leather pants, and even though I get flamed for that pic you guys still seem to bump the thread..

Methyl 1 will love that pic of you and your secure manhood

**Pioneer** · 06-23-2005, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by Bean

I can definitely relate from the other side
6'1 and 120lbs, you do the math... yeah i got stared at

now its even more so... i'm about 170 with a 28" waist, cut, and i think i look GREAT... guys stare more than girls... i dress in VERY nice clothes (expensive too) and a lot of them see that...
their girls stare, they stare, etc.. i take it as compliments nowadays... I eat right, I work out in the gym, I can run a 5min mile.... I have nothing to worry about... I just want a bit more size.

Dont be self conscious man... just be happy with what you've done. You deserve all the props you get....

good post

**Magickk** · 06-23-2005, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by Pioneer

good post

I'll second that... Just be happy being yourself, don't get a cocky attitude, but be proud of what you've done for yourself!

**Grassroots082** · 06-23-2005, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by Bean

I can definitely relate from the other side
6'1 and 120lbs, you do the math... yeah i got stared at

now its even more so... i'm about 170 with a 28" waist, cut, and i think i look GREAT... guys stare more than girls... i dress in VERY nice clothes (expensive too) and a lot of them see that...
their girls stare, they stare, etc.. i take it as compliments nowadays... I eat right, I work out in the gym, I can run a 5min mile.... I have nothing to worry about... I just want a bit more size.

Dont be self conscious man... just be happy with what you've done. You deserve all the props you get....

Yeah that was a good post, and I think what you hinted at is it is all in how you the individual take the responses from other people. Me personally, I don't like it. But I turn it into a motivational thing for me in the gym. This one guy (typical cut-off shirt and crombie windpants to class rockin the fratboy routine in the gym) used to stare at me all the time on campus and it really started to piss me off to the point I started to smile and laugh at him. I think of him when I workout now, but if you can take the stares as compliments then that is all good. Hopefully I will mellow out with age.

Let me edit this: I definately have no problem when girls stare at me, I like that

**bullydog** · 06-25-2005, 03:24 AM

Originally Posted by SJA

I feel the exact same way. It seems that everyone (with the exception of BigPeteFox) on this board feels like that. I always wear loose fitting clothes. I rarely take off my shirt. If I'm at the beach and go swimming people who know me freak out and say things like "if I looked like that I'd run around with my shirt off 24/7". I've always been in somewhat good shape but since I started BB'ing, I've put on about 40 pounds of mass. I react the exact opposite of the way I thought I would. I'm always perplexed by this behavior

I think this probably has to do with the fact that if you're Joe Blow, it's no big deal to take your shirt off because you don't draw any attention. If you're big and/or cut though, people are jealous and probably feel even more insecure with their bodies. Then they try and tear you down by saying you're a showoff, you're concieted, you're self-absorbed, etc.

I don't know, just my two cents.

**bigpetefox** · 06-25-2005, 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by bullydog

I think this probably has to do with the fact that if you're Joe Blow, it's no big deal to take your shirt off because you don't draw any attention. If you're big and/or cut though, people are jealous and probably feel even more insecure with their bodies. Then they try and tear you down by saying you're a showoff, you're concieted, you're self-absorbed, etc.

I don't know, just my two cents.

I agree with this...

**wranglergirl** · 06-28-2005, 02:55 PM

Everyone is different in there own way!!! we all feel insecure from time to time,its human nature.....!!!!!! I know i sure as hell do

**Bean** · 06-28-2005, 03:19 PM

You have nothing to feel insecure about

Though I should say the same thing about myself... but we all discover something...........

**hillbillyfly** · 06-28-2005, 11:34 PM

My man Arnie said it best when he said:

"The better you get, the less you run around showing off as a muscle guy. You know, you wear regular shirts, loose shirts-not always trying to show what you have. You talk less about it. It's like you have a little BMW - you want to race hell out of this car, because you know it's just going 110. But if you see guys driving a Ferrari or Lamborghini, they slide around at 60 on the freeway because they know if they press on that accelerator they are going to go 170. These things are the same in every field."

Arnie is a smart man

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