My head hurts
- 06-07-2005, 06:02 PM
My head hurts
Well, I work as a bouncer at a local bar and lately we've been having these swimming suit competitions. They are usually fun to watch until the big ghetto booty's come out. Anyway, there is a chick that is in charge of the show, she has a Maxim photo shoot in July and asked me to workout with her, she hopes I will be able to motivate her and give a hand. She is wanting to loose about 12 lbs. She is a cute girl but is wrapped up on herself really bad. She is about 5' 2" 120lbs with enormous boobs. She is extremely hard to work with. Today in the gym i was going to have her do some light deadlifts. She started yelling at me that I didn't know what the hell i was doing. She kept wanting to do straight leg pulls but it wasn't what i wanted her to do. Everyone in the gym is staring at us. I wanted to choke her. And she talks so damn much. I told her she probably burns more calories talking then anything else. I had her do some arnold presses with the 5lb dumbells. For the next set i increased the weight to 8lbs, she about started to cry because she was whinning so much. I wanted to choke her. I have never met someone soo difficult has her. She annoys the piss out of me. I wrote a diet and some suggestions that was about 3 pages long the other night. She broke down and started to tell me everything that was wrong with it, the foods she didn't like and how she thought i was wrong. A lot of it was pretty basic stuff. Basically her diet right now is cereal and grapes . Once i can break her ego barrier and get her to lift weights and not whine that i'm trying to make her look muscular and manly, and get her diet down, i'm thinking about putting her on a low dose of tri-max. The good thing is she is paying for my summer membership at the gym and is paying me weekly. Today she decided to take a nap out by the pool for 2 1/2 hours before she came to workout. She came burnned to a crisp and wore out, for punishment i thumped on the thigh, then I got slapped. So I choked her. When she is talking and when i'm listening she just tears people apart on what is wrong with them. "Oh that girl is fat!" "That guy has hairy arms!" Blah blah blah! today she was disgusted with the veins in my arms. Anyway, I have her doing a fullbody workout twice a week. Cardio and some accessory lifts in-between those days. Basically i'm just complainning, felt like sharing how difficult this is since i've never helped a girl at all. Nor will i ever do it again. I really want to choke her for a while, then tie a rope around her neck and drag her around the city in my truck. Not really, but i'm seriously thinking about it.
- 06-07-2005, 06:10 PM
put that bicth on tri-max, tell her that she is the one who needs your help not the other way around and let her kiss your ass and other things when she looks ten times better this summer.
- 06-07-2005, 06:22 PM
That's just another reason why I DON'T have a g/f. Seriously, I know the type and I just won't stand for it. It seems like the only hot girls that I meet are all stuck up their own asses and are so ****ing dippy that I feel the need to shoot myself in the head after I go out with 'em.... I'd rather go out befriend a an ugly chick with a fun personality than a childish, self-involved narcisist that resembles a greek goddess. That's just me though.
If I was you, I would say screw this and drop the whole deal. I can't put up with that kinda crap...especially in the gym where I do my worshiping...lol.
But it seems as though you wanna stick it out, so I can't really help ya man, sorry....
06-07-2005, 06:41 PM
06-07-2005, 06:49 PM
My 3 step solution to relieve a "head" ache:
1. Unzip pants
2. Expose penis
3. Tell her, "it is not going to suck itself".
Last edited by size; 06-07-2005 at 07:09 PM.
06-07-2005, 06:55 PM
- 5'8" 197 lbs.
- Join Date
- Jan 2003
- Rep Power
HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOriginally Posted by size
06-07-2005, 06:55 PM
06-07-2005, 07:49 PM
LMAO!Originally Posted by size
Seems like you guys know exactly what kind of girl i'm dealing with here. When i see her at the bar she is always bouncing around wearing this tiny wife beater, her boobs, which are like a double D, I think that is what she said, are just pouring out. She is definetly an attention whore. That is why she talks loud, and wears skimpy cloths and bounces around so everyone will watch her. But the weird thing is, earlier today i was asking some people about her and they said she was still a virgin! That doesn't make any sense at all! Lately i've been a dick to her. I think it is something new that not many guys have treated her. She is probably used to guys obeying every word and selling their right nut to buy her a new pair of shoe laces. I'm going to stick it out for now and see if it gets any better. I'm sure as hell not going to turn into her little bitch.
06-07-2005, 09:32 PM
Stay strong, bro. If you feel yourself weakening you should immediately resort to Size's protocolOriginally Posted by knox
06-07-2005, 09:55 PM
I might resort to that tomorrowOriginally Posted by Beowulf
06-07-2005, 10:37 PM
Tell her it's too bad that she applied the tampon sticky side up but she needs to do what she came to the gym to do or you're both wasting your time.
You've got a lot more patience than I do.
Like you said, that type is used to guys bending over backwards so that she can dump on them and she expects them to come back for more. It's because she feels it's an honor to be graced by her presence. Don't be a push over and let her step on you. She'll either try to find someone else to be her bitch or respect you and meet you half way.
06-07-2005, 11:53 PM
She did suprise me later in the day. She texted me and apologized for being an ass. And she said she really does appreciate my help. So that's a start! But i literally flipped out when she slapped me for thumping her sun burn thigh. Couple of weeks ago at work a fight broke out and i got punched in the ear by a chick. That pissed the ever living **** out of me. So when she hit me, I had to work hard not goin ape **** on her. So i'm not about to let up. The girl that punched me in the ear at work....Yeah, she seriously got choked..lol. She filed a complaint and so-on so-on it's a whole other story.Originally Posted by RMT
06-08-2005, 10:45 PM
That's cool, but she could just be trying to reel you back in to be her bitch. She noticed you were at your boiling point and you were probably ready to bail on her or she sensed something she didn't normally see in her mindless male followers so she could just be trying another tactic. I think you should just stand your ground.Originally Posted by knox
When you were saying "I'm gonna choke her" or "she's gonna get choked" I thought you were just voicing what you were thinking of doing. But man if you actually laid hands on a woman in that fashion you could be in for a world of crap. Just giving you a heads up. She may have smacked you but if you actually choked her that's deemed as deadly force. You're cutting off air and blood supply to her brain. That and you're male. I'm also estimating you are larger than the female that struck you. Her being female and you being male, that's "Cultural pre-disposition" and also the "Size disparity". I'd just hate to see a AM brother get in trouble for something he could have avoided.Originally Posted by knox
06-08-2005, 10:49 PM
Yeah Knox, I was thinking the choke comments were hyperbole. I hope they were. Its kinda freaky to go around choking women, even if they do provoke it...
06-09-2005, 12:01 AM
Hey fellas i was being completely sarcastic when i said i "choked her." I apologize if i gave the wrong impression. This is applying to the girl i'm helping out in the gym. The girl at work that, i really didn't choke, more of a grab by the lower neck and pushed out of my way. Since i feel like i might have to defend myself in a way i'll explain the story. I work at a pretty laid back bar. Rarely does anything too exciting happen. This night about 12 guys got into a fight by the pool tables. There were 2 girls but one backed off as soon as punches were being thrown. There were only 2 bouncers and i was the first to get into it. I started moving people out of my way in an aggressive way trying to get to the main guy going crazy. His girl-friend kept jumping on me, slapping me, pinching me, screaming at me to "get off him, get off him!" Luckily the other bouncer got to him and i just kept others from furthering the fight. I wasn't even near her boy-friend. Then she punched me in the ear. I was able to ignore her and push her aside for the most part, but when she punched me, i got a little angry and grabbed her by the neck, because i wasn't going to push her in the chest, nor the face, so i pushed her away by the neck against a wall and told her to back off in an un-nice way. I could have easily pressed charges against her for interfering or basically continuing the fight, or even battery charges against her. But i didn't.
But again, I really should have been more clear when explaining or describing my story. I'm not real good at typing how it really is and trying to be a little funny (sarcastic) too. I don't post much on this board and i really don't want you guys thinkn' i'm some woman beater. On a further note, I don't care if you are a cute girl, a fat ungly girl, or half male half female; If you interfere while i'm trying to do my job i will react aggressively. In this case i was pretty laid back with the situation and lucky for her i wasn't jacked. I was actually in my second week of post cycle.
06-09-2005, 06:11 AM
^Originally Posted by knox
Just use more of these and we'll know it is a joke. It is hard to convey tone on the internet
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