Can you Love more than one?
- 03-25-2005, 07:41 PM
Can you Love more than one?
Ok Bros and Bras....
Do you think it is possible to love more than one person at the same time? I am not talking about family, I am talking about a meaningful exchange of caring and affection that is both intimate and sincere? And if so, how does a person confront monogamy and exclusivity with a lover in the midst of this kind of life multiplisity?
- 03-25-2005, 07:51 PM
03-25-2005, 08:05 PM
I am not necisarily saying that you have to have a full blown relationship with 3 women at the same time (although, it has been done), but with one and perhaps still love others in a meaningful way...
03-25-2005, 08:17 PM
03-25-2005, 08:18 PM
Depends on your definition of eros love, I suppose. This guy once wrote: " There is Love and there is Love, one is a serpent and one is a dove, choose ye well !"
03-25-2005, 08:34 PM
I really believe you can love more than one woman. There is no book or rules that say you can't.
Now going out with two or more women at the same time, that's another topic.
03-25-2005, 09:50 PM
I think you'd have to love both equally, which is imo impossible. We always like someone better for whatever reasons
03-26-2005, 12:03 AM
I agree. I think there are degrees of how in love you are with someone.Originally Posted by cobra1414
03-26-2005, 12:19 AM
I believe it's possible to love more than one at a time.
In reality though, keeping them both happy would be a full time job. I don't think you could have true love with 2 people at the same time without major conflicts of interest.
At one point, I tried to "date" as many women as I could at a time. During any given week, I would have been seeing up to 5 women. Sometimes two in one day. NOBODY stuck around for more than about 2 weeks. I got good at meeting them and shuttling them into the bedroom, but keeping them happy is a whole nother story.
Dating that many people was very stressful for me. I couldn't do it. I kept meeting women who I really liked, and wanted to spend more time with them, only to find out they weren't willing to wait in line behind all my other dates.
I have a friend who does just this, and has, for about 9 years straight now. I think he is deficient in the right neurotransmitters or something because he doesn't care about anybody. He lusts for women and once he's got them, he moves on. He's got a few women who put up with what he does and "love" him, but most are thrown away like garbage.
Monogamy, to me, is something you do for comfort and security. Some people require it to be happy, others prefer it, and others don't care for it. My taste for it comes and goes. I currently am seeing someone I love enough to provide her with the comfort and security she desires. I would never cheat on her, but I desire a lot more than one person can offer.
I think any women who would be willing to "share" me with another women would be too much of a hippy for my tastes.
03-26-2005, 01:29 AM
Being in love with someone and loving someone are two completely different things. If you don't know, then it is damn near impossible to explain.
I loved my ex-gf but on reflection, I never was "in love" with her.
03-26-2005, 02:30 AM
03-26-2005, 07:21 AM
I'd say no. You can love a lot of women to varying degrees, but only truly be in love with one. Putting two people at the top of your list like that, so to speak, puts them and you in inevitable conflict. My girlfriends have to deal with the fact that most of my friends are women. They're just more fun to spend time with. While I love all of them, and to be honest was at one time trying to sleep with all of them, cheating on my gf or being in love with another woman on the same level is impossible because I know how much it would hurt her, and that would kill me.
03-26-2005, 09:52 AM
Well in retrospect then... anybody ever truly been IN love and know how it feels, im going through a "break up" of sorts right now and im trying to find out if it's real love or not
Too confusing if you ask me, but i can't seem to get her off my mind and wondering if anyone can throw me a bone here, cause im lost ha
03-26-2005, 11:15 AM
Well, I will throw my voice in - as a woman......I think that is very possible to love two woman - to want them both - and to be torn. Ultimately, you just have to decide, but the feelings for both would remain. I think that it requires a really mature kind of love, one that doesn't mean just getting in our pants, but feeling that this ONE OR TWO people are the most important to you......... Remember, careful what you wish for though, for you will surely get it.
To truly, truly, hopelessy love - you must pick one, or you are shortchanging yourself and the one that you are meant to be with.
THERE IS A LID FOR EVERY POT - this is what I say when I see a really ugly couple that look so happy in the mall.
See - woman are as shallow as you - deep as a dime, boys, deep as a dime.
03-26-2005, 11:40 AM
03-26-2005, 11:45 AM
Another girl good.......
I would argee with you though, you can be in love with 2 women, just as women can be in love with 2 men but in the end you must decide who is right for you and let the other go.....Dosent mean you dont love them but means that you see something more with the one you choose....
Seems to be the month for relationship questions.....I wish you all well, its a hard spot to be in.......Sometimes it works out and sometimes it dosent....I also give you credit for being out there....and trying....
Hope it helped sour in the mind......By the way cute avatar..
03-26-2005, 11:46 AM
Originally Posted by ryansm
I disagree with that, men are some of the most shallow creatures out there, agreed SOME women are as well but men.......you take the cake......
03-26-2005, 12:00 PM
There will always be arguments about this. I suppose I'm the type that always meets the shallow women.
03-26-2005, 12:07 PM
And i seem ( for the most part) to meet the shallow men who comment on things they know nothing about .........ie,.... red face...
03-26-2005, 12:36 PM
Cake? Did someone say Cake? - Seriously, lets all privately agree that we, and only us, are better than the rest and we just can't meet anyone that could possibly understand our greatness............. personally, I love men, I just don't try to understand them anymore and that has been my big breakthrough. Now, I accept them-warts and all.Originally Posted by wranglergirl
NOW if you keep ordering from my company All The Whey - I promise to find us ALL the perfect mate.
03-26-2005, 03:06 PM
all i have are little sweet tarts in the shape of chickens and bunnies... they comfort me
03-26-2005, 04:34 PM
No...you WOULD have a favorite and that doesn't work out wellOriginally Posted by sourinthemind
However, I see nothing wrong with "making love" w/ more than one at a time
03-26-2005, 04:41 PM
Tisk, tisk, tisk....see, you don't understand men, do you?Originally Posted by wranglergirl
Men (as whole) aren't shallow....we're just extremely simple!
All a man wants is sex, food, and a good ego stroking now and then. A woman who gives those three to him will basically have magical powers over him. Anything above and beyond those three is a major plus
03-26-2005, 05:11 PM
03-26-2005, 05:14 PM
Another girl !!!! finally but as the perfect mate goes I had one, he melted to my dashboard in my accord yrs ago....( he was a little plastic man holding flowers in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other, my friend gave him to me when I broke up with an ex of mine... ) I had to throw him out hehehehehehehOriginally Posted by wheystation
03-26-2005, 06:25 PM
LOL. Just remember those three things: sex, food, ego in that order and you're good to go.Originally Posted by wranglergirl
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: GUYS DON'T CHANGE! So, throw that silly notion out of your head (IF it's in there).
03-26-2005, 06:45 PM
. Just remember those three things: sex, food, ego in that order and you're good to go.
Okay - I am going to have sex with him, in front of a mirror and he can eat a sandwich while I moan about how big he is -------does that cover it all?
03-26-2005, 07:50 PM
03-26-2005, 07:55 PM
Sandwhich? Sandwhich!?!? What's this **** b1tch! *smack* Get me a ****in' steak!Originally Posted by wheystation
j/k, I think you got the idea!
03-27-2005, 03:22 AM
I really do think it is possible to love more than one, more than two even. In the same way? I don't think so. Every experience is different of course. But I guess if this stuff were easy to figure out we would all master the reationship game. For me, I have a tendency to find fear my biggest nemisis. I think I may hold on too long to some when I should let them go for fear that I will loose that precious peice of myself that each has helped me find. So I end up having a life of multiples, if you will. To be honest, there really is just so much to love in most women. Truely a gift to the world. I have been lucky and unlucky I guess....
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