Posted at APF Outlaws:

You know I'm moved to write this rant because of my damn wife.
Why, why she always wants to know why. At first I thought of having her read Dave Tate's masterpiece on "Why we do this ****" but I doubt she would comprehend. Ill, your hands are all calloused and ripped up why don't you use gloves? because gay's wear gloves not powerlifters. Your back has a permanent indent in it and has a mysterious straight line of scab like crust why dont you use the pad thingy that goes on the bar when you squat? WHAT!!!! are you trying to get me jumped by other powerlifters? You know I'm not a nationally ranked competitor, **** you'd barely remember competing against me, maybe I've done 4 or 5 meets in my life, but I powerlift, it's what I do. I don't give a **** about the Lakers, I could care less about the World Seris, and wake me up when the super bowl is over. So basically I've got nothing to watch on tv because they wont ****ing televise anything but Bench****ing Amerika. Look I could easily spend hours in a ****ing AOL chatroom preying on 16 year olds or stumbling into Al Qaeda websites, but I choose to roam here. Thank ****ing god for forums like this, I'd rather waste away reading posts on Mike Miller taking on the entire internet, on Billy Mimnaugh spooge on my back stories, watching Tommy re-invent ways to commit suicide with a squat bar. Who gives a **** if you wear Karin's or Inzer...just ****ing bench, post your story and let powerlifting addicted fools like me read away. I don't praise Michael Jordan, he means nothing standing next to a Chuck Vogephel(spelling).
After inspecting my body for missing shin skin, miscellaneous scabs on my arms and legs, pulled muscles, th einability to wake each morning, Rx pill after Rx pill to make the tendonitus pain go away just long enough so I can get my squat session in, my wife asks " Does it hurt you?" my reply "Only when you talk about it" I powerlift, its what I do, it tastes good, it feels good, its not fun, its not to get in good shape. Working in an office with pencil pushing pussies who ask "what diet should I follow?" "how much cardio should I get in per week" "How many crunches can you do?" dont these people realize I have no clue about health. I can barely tie my shoes or scratch my back anymore, my blood pressure is thru the roof, I powerlift..what the **** is a "crunch" anyhow? I love a good buffet and yet these shmucks are asking me about Atkins..why god why? Why did I write this? Why did you read it? Why powerlift?...because thats why!!!

Your friendly neighborhood Shmuck