20 Bodybuilding Regulations

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    20 Bodybuilding Regulations


    this is from the latest issue of muscle and fitness...i'm sure we'll all recognize some familiar patterns here...and i particularly like what happens when someone doesnt follow the rules ...enjoy....

    Rule #1
    In answer to the question, "What are you working today?" under no circumstances--ever--is "glutes" an admissable answer.

    Rule #2
    Real men do not take Yoga classes. (As for all of you Sting wannabe's who are in said classes, go ahead, untangle yourself and write in to complain. Whatever.)

    Rule #3
    When asked about your maximum bench press, it's ok to add 20% to your total. If a female is present, add 40%.

    Rule #4
    Spandex pants...do I even have to tell you?

    Rule #5
    Stretching is ok--just be sure to do it in an out-of-the way place where no one can see you. The corner of an unused cardio room or a broom closet, are good choices.

    Rule #6
    The following exercises should never be done by a male bodybuilder: the "glute blaster" machine (see rule #1), plie squats, walking dumbell lunges.

    Rule #7
    Its ok to flex your biceps in the mirror proudly between sets, it is not ok to talk to yourself, saying, "I am the man" as you do so.

    Rule #8
    Acceptable beverages to drink at the gym while you're working out: water, gatorade or any similar sports drink (except pink-colored ones), protein or protein/carb suppement shakes. Unacceptable : Kool-Aid

    Rule #9
    Running shorts aren't cool on runners, and they're certainly not cool at the gym. Long basketball shorts are ok, pants are preferred, however, especially if you dont train legs.

    Rule #10
    Bring a damn towel to wipe up your sweat. Thos who leave disgusting pools of sweat on a bench can be legally pummeled to death in 38 states. (Legislation is pending in 4 others.)

    Rule #11
    Never use the phrase, "Hey, wanna take the Cardio Pump class with me?" as a pick up line.

    Rule #12
    Even if you invnted it, you are not allowed to name an exercise after yourself.

    Rule #13
    Grunting loudly on the last rep of a heavy set of squats or deadlifts is ok...grunting loudly while you squeeze out reps involved in any cable exercise is not.

    Rule #14
    No matter how bad another guy smells, you cannot tell him he smells. You can, however, talk about the smelly guy as a way to bond with hot women. ("Man, that dude smells, doesn't he? That's gross.")

    Rule #15
    Thou shalt not read women's fashion magazines while doing cardio--even if someone else left them there and you're completely bored as you trudge through 25 minutes on the treadmill.

    Rule #16
    You are required to give your driends a heads up when a babe is spotted in the gym, but only after getting her phone number. When referencing location, the clock method is the universal method of choice, "Dude, hooters, 3 o'clock."

    Rule #17
    Asking to work in on a machine is intrusive and irritating, but ok as long as you dont adjust the seat. Asking to work in on a bench press, however, is pure sacrilege, especially if you have to take plates off to do your pansy ass set.

    Rule #18
    ALthought not necessarily a good idea if you want your arms to grow, you are within your rights to work your biceps every day of you really want to.

    Rule #19
    People are never, ever to speak ill of while at the gym: Joe Weider, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Monica Brant. People you can make fun of incessantly: Richard Simmons, Tony Little, Susan Powter.

    Rule #20
    If it's your idea to wake up at some God-awful early hour to workout, under no circumstances are you to blow off your training partner and not show up. Olny allowed exception: You send Timea Majorova in your place.

    Those who do not adhere to the rules shall be cursed with one or more of the following:

    -> Arms 14" or smaller
    -> The smelly guy always working out at the same time, on the same bodypart split as you.
    -> Gyno.

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    heh... some amusing stuff in there, thanks for sharing man
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    hehe good post. I like the "working in" one.
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    Originally posted by txwakeskater
    hehe good post. I like the "working in" one.
    ya...glad it gives some laughs...i hear ya about the workin in...but my favorite is the one about guys wearin runnin shorts...those things should be outlawed.
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    Originally posted by msclbldrguy

    Rule #3
    When asked about your maximum bench press, it's ok to add 20% to your total. If a female is present, add 40%.

    THAT"S A GIVEN (ha)

    Rule #4
    Spandex pants...do I even have to tell you?

    THERE"S 2 DUDES @ MY GYM WHO DOESNT FOLLOW THIS ONE AND THEY BOUT TO GET A BEAT DOWN BY EVERY OTHER DUDES B/C OF IT.....

    Rule #5
    Stretching is ok--just be sure to do it in an out-of-the way place where no one can see you. The corner of an unused cardio room or a broom closet, are good choices.

    UMMM....NO, DONT AGREE HERE

    Rule #6
    The following exercises should never be done by a male bodybuilder: the "glute blaster" machine (see rule #1), plie squats, walking dumbell lunges.

    WALKING DB LUNGES ARE A MEAN EXERCISE MAN. NO PRIDE LOST IN DOING THEM. DONT KNOW WHAT A PLIE SQUAT IS BUT "ANYTHING" SQUATS IS COOL IN MY BOOKS (HA) AS LONG THE WORD SQUATS ISNT LED WITH THE WORD "PARTIAL"

    Rule #12
    Even if you invnted it, you are not allowed to name an exercise after yourself.

    HA....SORRY

    Rule #13
    Grunting loudly on the last rep of a heavy set of squats or deadlifts is ok...grunting loudly while you squeeze out reps involved in any cable exercise is not.

    GRUNTING ON THE LAST REP OF HEAVY SQUATS/DEADS ARE MANDATORY (HA)

    Rule #18
    ALthought not necessarily a good idea if you want your arms to grow, you are within your rights to work your biceps every day of you really want to.

    DONT KNOW HOW TO REPSOND TO THIS ONE....

    Rule #19
    People are never, ever to speak ill of while at the gym: Joe Weider, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Monica Brant. People you can make fun of incessantly: Richard Simmons, Tony Little, Susan Powter.

    AND ANY ONE IN THE GYM DOING SQ'S ON THE SQUAT RACK. THATS WHAT I CALL THE EXERCISES FOR THE PEOPLE WHO GO DOWN LIKE 3 INCHES AND BACK UP, THINKING THEY'RE SQUATTING.


  

  
 

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