Pretty Funny One-Liners/PICK UP Lines - AnabolicMinds.com

Pretty Funny One-Liners/PICK UP Lines

  1. Whacked's Avatar
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    Pretty Funny One-Liners/PICK UP Lines


    Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?

    I'm not a doctor, but I'll take a look anyway.

    Do you believe in love at first sight? 'Cause I can't see with my eyes.

    Did we go to different schools together?

    Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize?

    What pickup line actually works on you?

    You should come over and check out my extensive collection of Chili's coasters.

    Do you have any raisins? Well, then how about a date?

    I'm glad I'm not blind!

    Can you please scratch my back? My arms are far too muscular for me to reach.

    If I got a nickel for everyone I've met who is as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

    You stole my heart. That's OK, though - I have another one at home in the fridge.

    I lost my teddy bear! Will you sleep with me tonight?

    Is there a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can really see myself in your pants.

    Why don't you come sit in my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.

    Mind if I talk to you until it's safe down there where I farted?

    If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

    Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

    Are your pants from outer space or is your butt just out of this world?

    You're so sweet, you're going to put Hershey's out of business!

    Would you like Gin and Platonic, or Scotch and Sofa?

    When God said, "Let there be woman," he created you.

    Don't you know me from somewhere?

    Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are HOT!

    I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

    Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.

    Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see around here.

    Can I even get a fake number?

    You sure have a great looking tooth.

    Are you religious? You're the answer to my prayers.

    Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I'm asking for only one.

    My friend wants to know if you were born in those jeans.

    Your place or your place? Because my place is a dump!

    You don't need car keys to drive me crazy.

    Falling for you would be a very short trip.

    Don't stop! I don't usually get to see beauty in motion.

    Do you know why the sky is so gray? All the blue is in your eyes.

    You're so fine, you make me want to go out and get a job.

    Remember me? Oh, that's right, I've met you only in my dreams.

    Those must be space pants, 'cause your butt is out of this world!

    I think I've just found the angel I'd like to be touched by.

    Can I lick that film off your teeth?

    Don't be so picky....I wasn't!

    Let's go behind that rock, and get a little boulder.

    You look a lot like my future wife.

    I'd better get a library card, because I'm checking you out.

    Did they just take you out of the oven? Because you're hot!

    Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

    Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

    If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

    You be the iceberg and I'll be the Titanic - and go down on you.

    Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.

    You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

    Without my glasses, you couldn't pass for a female.

    You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.

    I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

    Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I'll go choo choo.

    What do you like for breakfast?

    Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

    I want to call your mother and thank her.

    Your daddy must be a thief, because he stole the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes.

    That outfit would look great crumpled up on the floor at the foot of my bed.

    Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

    Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

    Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

    My name is [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.

    Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

    (Look at his / her shirt label) When they say, "What are you doing?", you say, "Checking to see if you were made in heaven."

    There must be something wrong with my eyes, because I can't take them off you.

    All those curves, and me with no brakes.

    If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

    Is it hot in here or is it just you?

    Do you know how to use a whip?

    Can you give me directions...to your heart?

    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

    I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

    I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.

    You look just like Joan Rivers.

    Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

    I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I'll still make your bed rock.

    I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the "Pretty Woman".

    Falling for you would be a very short trip.

    Don't stop! I don't usually get to see beauty in motion.

    Your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.

    Do you know why the sky is so gray? All the blue is in your eyes.

    You're so fine, you make me want to go out and get a job.

    Remember me? Oh, that's right, I've met you only in my dreams.

    Those must be space pants, 'cause your butt is out of this world!

    I think I've just found the angel I'd like to be touched by.

    Your father must have been a baker, because you have the nicest buns I've ever seen.

    Can you give me directions...to your heart?

    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

    I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

    I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.

    You look just like Joan Rivers.

    Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

    I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I'll still make your bed rock.

    Do you have pneumonia? 'Cause you're giving me the chills.

    Tonight's forecast is a blizzard of me heading towards your face.

    Class might be cancelled, but that butt of yours doesn't quit.

    You must be a frozen pond, because I can see myself skeetin' all over you.

    Are you passed out on the sidewalk or are you my snow angel?

    You're like a snowflake. Beautiful, unique and with one touch from me you'll melt.

    I've just moved you to the top of my "to do" list.

    I can see you're not one of those 'shallow' people who is super-concerned about their appearance.

    Let me explain the importance of composting.

    What's your all-time favorite coupon?

    These look like lice, but they're just chiggers.
    A-Minds HYPE-SLAYER! All posts & feedback are guaranteed to be unsolicited and legit
    "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. Fools despise wisdom & instruction"
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    Do you gave a shovel? Because I am diggin' that a$$!

    Do you know karate, because your curves are kickin!

    Y'know the call me Mr. Snickers, because I SATISFY!

    Do you have a band-aid? Because I skinned my knees when I fell for you!

    I'm not a glass of milk, but I'll do your body good!

    How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!


    Are those cheesy or what!
  3. Whacked's Avatar
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    Cheesy? YES
    Funny - YUP

    That's the point
    A-Minds HYPE-SLAYER! All posts & feedback are guaranteed to be unsolicited and legit
    "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. Fools despise wisdom & instruction"
    Proverbs 1:7
    •   
       

  4. ThunderHumper's Avatar
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    your list is huge, idk if this one is there

    I put the STD in stud, now all i need is U
  5. ThunderHumper's Avatar
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    youre like a trophy fish, idk if i should mount you or eat you
  6. Philshred's Avatar
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    Girl you so dayum hot you would have stopped the ice age!
    Where did you buy those pants? Because if you went to my place they would be 100 percent off!
  7. mls51112's Avatar
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    oh God.. I hope you guys don't actually use any of these.
    ~ Airborne42's girlfriend ~
    - using mobile version, can't rep -
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    "hey baby! how would you like some adam west penis?"
    LG Sciences forum representative
    www.lgsciences.com
    http://anabolicminds.com/forum/company-promotions/249846-lg-sciences-would.html
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    Quote Originally Posted by mls51112
    oh God.. I hope you guys don't actually use any of these.
    Are suggesting they might not work?

    C'mon, you didn't laugh a little?

    Hardest part is making conversation and their are worse ways to begin a conversation than laughter.
  10. mls51112's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JayStang

    Are suggesting they might not work?

    C'mon, you didn't laugh a little?

    Hardest part is making conversation and their are worse ways to begin a conversation than laughter.
    They're funny as fck.. haha. I agree.. as a joke, yes. If you used them in a serious context, ew.
    ~ Airborne42's girlfriend ~
    - using mobile version, can't rep -
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    Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself...
  12. Philshred's Avatar
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    "Do you like nutella? Because I want to put nutella on you and lick it off that booty"- vitalyzdtv
  13. JayStang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mls51112

    They're funny as fck.. haha. I agree.. as a joke, yes. If you used them in a serious context, ew.
    Agree completely. If your using them for something other than humor......that would be inappropriate.

    Like drink thrown in your face inappropriate.
  14. AvD
    AvD's Avatar
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  15. AnabolicMinds Forum Rep
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    Edited

    - Valdez
    Olympus Labs DemiGod And Rep ~ http://anabolicminds.com/forum/supplement-reviews-logs/253076-spaniards-coliseum-featuring.html~http://anabolicminds.com/forum/supplement-reviews-logs/220023-valdez-goes-back-29.html
  16. AnabolicMinds Board Rep.
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    Nice list!!!
    Hardcore Purus Labs {Rep}
    Lift the fcking weight from the floor, or leave it on the ground. The thoughts are supposed to be daunting. The pain is meant to be tormenting.
    www.InsaneVeins.com
  17. Whacked's Avatar
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    LOL



    A-Minds HYPE-SLAYER! All posts & feedback are guaranteed to be unsolicited and legit
    "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. Fools despise wisdom & instruction"
    Proverbs 1:7
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    I thought this one would be appropriate for the forum..

    "Hey baby, are you into fitness? Well.. How about fitness d ick in your mouth!"
  

  
 

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