Douchebags at work....

[mikeg313]

I thought this thread may be as funny as the gym thread. If not , then blow off some steam and talk about the douches you gotta work with everyday!

 

[mikeg313]

Ill kick this off......I got this 21 yr old kid at work that's been there a few more months then me and swings from the manager of our parts dept dik ALLLLL day! The manager is the quiet non confrontational with social anxiety type but outside of work is a raging alchoholic. This kid walks around with a big ring of keys for no reason , a HUGE phone in a huge case , a box cutter, and a measuring tape all of it on his belt. We don't even use a measuring tape for anything. He's constantly doing and saying stuff to others trying to appear more self important. Ultimately he's harmless but working in a small parts dept all day with this douche kissing ass and carrying on is too much. Not to mention he eats Doritos and mountain dew for breakfast and all thru the day. This zit face little freak is impossible. I wish he'd just pop and go away!

 

[Swanson52]

Everyone that's higher up the chain than I am.

 

[ManBeast]

I'm self-employed, so I'm the only douche I really have to put up with

ManBeast

 

[howwedo107]

I'm a cop part time and full time federal security guard so that's all I deal with haha

 

[stopstalking]

I'm a correctional officer in a state prison. I deal with douche bags all day.

 

[vidapreta]

I'm a correctional officer in a state prison. I deal with douche bags all day.

CoWorkers?? LOL..

Sent from my HTC Sensation 4G using Tapatalk

 

[stopstalking]

I'm a correctional officer in a state prison. I deal with douche bags all day.

 

[vidapreta]

I'm a correctional officer in a state prison. I deal with douche bags all day.

Joke....sometimes coworkers can be worse douchebags then inmates..

Sent from my HTC Sensation 4G using Tapatalk

 

[hugry4more]

Customers who own a million dollar house with a 200 k ferrari in the garage who are always on my case about the price of the job even after o give um a discounted rate. Then they have the nerve to ask if they have to pay tax!! I'm not try to steal from u lady just trying to make a living u cheap ho!

 

[mikeg313]

Customers who own a million dollar house with a 200 k ferrari in the garage who are always on my case about the price of the job even after o give um a discounted rate. Then they have the nerve to ask if they have to pay tax!! I'm not try to steal from u lady just trying to make a living u cheap ho!

That's how the rich stay rich by fuking everyone over they can get away with.

 

[StackedCop]

I work on a 9 man PD and 4 of the guys are complete douche bags... Srsly I can't stomach them they have no morals or ethics

 

[howwedo107]

I work on a 9 man PD and 4 of the guys are complete douche bags... Srsly I can't stomach them they have no morals or ethics

I agree cops are a hit or miss no in-between either a complete dick or the coolest dude ever

 

[StackedCop]

I'm a correctional officer in a state prison. I deal with douche bags all day.

LOL! I hated the time I spent in the jail!! Some of the CO's were worse then the inmates

 

[StackedCop]

I agree cops are a hit or miss no in-between either a complete dick or the coolest dude ever

For real

 

[Masciaman]

ya im in the army, i work with douche bags that probably got picked on when they were little and now that they have rank and "power" they take it out on the lower enlisted, and it sucks because if you even say 1 thing wrong thats an article 15 UCMJ for "disrespect to a non-commissioned officer" lol bam there goes your rank and money

 

[StackedCop]

ya im in the army, i work with douche bags that probably got picked on when they were little and now that they have rank and "power" they take it out on the lower enlisted, and it sucks because if you even say 1 thing wrong thats an article 15 UCMJ for "disrespect to a non-commissioned officer" lol bam there goes your rank and money

Imagine if the army had union representation, lol

Btw thank you for your service!

 

[mikeg313]

Imagine if the army had union representation, lol

Btw thank you for your service!

Serving your country and civil service is supposed to be a great thing but unfortunatley it's been exploited to the extreme and abused like every great idea that once made this country great.

 

[Masciaman]

lol stakedcop and i appreciate it

 

[xigotmailx]

When I worked at the ATT call center it was me and my friend Derek who where the douches of the entire place. You couldn't walk by our cubicles without getting harassed. I find being a douche is more fun than someone douching on you lol. I'd like to explain some situations but i'm feeling lazy as hell

 

[ManBeast]

then you owe us some stories.... douche!

 

[AaronJP1]

I could tell u guys 100 stories...

 

[xigotmailx]

There was this kid that walking with his chest out but was leaning too far back. Every time he'd walk by I'd yell at him calling him Fat Joe, until he asked me one day what that meant. Of course I let him know about Fat Joe and his "Lean Back" song. He started walking a different way after weeks of verbal abuse.

We got these stress balls, you know the spongy kind. Basically me and my friend hoarded them and every now and then we would just chuck them across the floor at people. Multiple face shots, the aim was strong within us.

If someone had some sort of appearance flaw I'd have to point it out. This one girl with a really nice body, great tits, unfortunately had a large nose. So if she'd walk by, "Hey big bird", "you know you could park a car on that thing", "when's the Boeing 747 coming in today?" things like that.

This fairly hot chick that sat next to us, probably a 7.5-8 had a boyfriend that worked there too. Every time he'd come over i'd hit on her. "Hey Tim, you know that someday i'll be putting Karen on her back. Don't worry I'll send you the video so you know i'm not joking".

Of course the classic ******* shoulder check to anyone that walked to close to me

Walked up to some girl and this dude I never talked to before said something stupid like "she ain't having it bro, just leave". So a smacked his headset off his face and he got up. My friend Derek just pushed him down into his seat and he proceeded to cry.

Can't really convey tone over text but I would make customers feel dumber than anyone in the world should feel. Don't ever ****ing ask me why my phone isn't turning on again i'll rage on you. Press the red button "but doesn't green mean go" No mam, that's traffic lights, press the red one "ok, it's not working" Did you put the battery in? "There isn't a battery in the phone" Ok, put it in! "Ok, it's still not working" Well looks like this is too complicated for you, let me transfer you to technical support, maybe there is something wrong with you


So many other things, it's hard to keep going at the moment. Oh yes, I might add here that I was on cycle when this stuff happened. Before that I would sit in my chair quietly all day and do my work.

OOOOH before I post this here's my favorite.

I was having an upset day, roid induced...I didn't want to wake up in the morning or go to work but did it anyways. I went to get coffee when I first showed up and this guy just started walking away when I see an empty coffee pot left there. I throw my coffee mug at the wall next to him and he turns around asks "what's your deal". I proceed to walk up to him more like looking as if i'm going to grab my mug off the ground. I pick up my mug and turn around. Slap his coffee cup out of his hand and tell him "if I can't have any coffee then you can't either, make some more and you can bring me some to my desk".........................he actually brought me coffee 10 minutes later

 

[ManBeast]

ROFLMAO!!!

 

[xigotmailx]

When I was in high school I used to just run up to kids and check them into lockers as if I was playing hockey

At work i'd talk openly about getting paid for stripping for this girls bachelorette party, but only if there was a group of girls around talking loudly just so they could hear me. I got many weird looks for that.

Invited girls to come watch me strip at the club

Asked girls if they wanted to see my "squirrel" and by squirrel I have one tattoo'd on my inner right...he's reaching for me nutz

 

[ManBeast]

You sir are a trip! BTW, thanks for teaching your wanted-to-try-clen ex that trick with her tongue

ManBeast

 

[xigotmailx]

No doubt bro, always hooking homies up. Pfft, you should hear the **** I used to tell her. I project my own insecurities onto others with an extra large sense of douchebagery

 

[AaronJP1]

I work on a 9 man PD and 4 of the guys are complete douche bags... Srsly I can't stomach them they have no morals or ethics

So what have you seem them do/say to people?
Are u 1 of the 4?

 

[xigotmailx]

My bosses when I worked at the bar were douche bags. They made me clean this toilet full to the brim with diarrhea my like 4th day of work instead of calling a plumber. That bathroom toilet was just completely annihilated. Little did those ****ers know that being an advice enthusiast of making massive ****s in my home toilet, I grabbed the plunger and fixed it in seconds. Those jackoffs wanted me to scoop it out into a bucket....dumb mother ****ers I swear

 

[AaronJP1]

My bosses when I worked at the bar were douche bags. They made me clean this toilet full to the brim with diarrhea my like 4th day of work instead of calling a plumber. That bathroom toilet was just completely annihilated. Little did those ****ers know that being an advice enthusiast of making massive ****s in my home toilet, I grabbed the plunger and fixed it in seconds. Those jackoffs wanted me to scoop it out into a bucket....dumb mother ****ers I swear

That's some bullshít.
I'd quit that job!
Also if I was plumber and y'all called me out for some shít like that either too things would happen: I'd say "chu clean it" or the bill would be a solid 2000 for me to fix that muthaphucka....

 

[xigotmailx]

That's what I was saying, "you ****s saved $X.XX on this, give me some money for that". Yet considering how easy it was to fix it, no big deal, just the most epicly destroyed toilet i've ever seen. Ahh, this other dude at the bar....

Flint - rich ass dude, old, white hair, creeper old ****er that viagra doesn't work on. This douchebag would proposition the girls to have sex in front of him. Toys and stuff, pictures, ect. He'd give them a cell phone if they agreed and said any time that he calls they would be paid. So, in turn being the douche I am, I went to him and said I'll help convince girls or get him more if he broke me off some change....is that wrong? LIKE I ****ING CARE, I'M A DOUCHE

 

[ManBeast]

This should go here, cuz there isn't a need for "everyday douchebags" and since I'm the self-employed one in my relationship, going to wal*mart is part of my job

On the way home, half of the route is a one-lane each way road with a decent amount of 4-way stop signs, and a low speed limit (residential, and school zone). There are also tons of blind speed traps as well (9/10 times I've done the drive). So today, I get an out-of-stater behind me. She was on her cellphone (illegal here), and everytime I got to a stop sign and stopped (gasp!) she'd lay in on her horn at me, and then as soon as I would go, she'd just go behind me. At one point she almost caused an accident `cuz the person who had the right of way also jumped out quite fast. She also felt it was appropriate to lay into the horn when I decided to make a legal right-hand turn off of the road, not at a stop, so I (gasp!) slowed down to safely make the turn.

I only wish the cops were out today...

ManBeast

 

[AaronJP1]

This should go here, cuz there isn't a need for "everyday douchebags" and since I'm the self-employed one in my relationship, going to wal*mart is part of my job

On the way home, half of the route is a one-lane each way road with a decent amount of 4-way stop signs, and a low speed limit (residential, and school zone). There are also tons of blind speed traps as well (9/10 times I've done the drive). So today, I get an out-of-stater behind me. She was on her cellphone (illegal here), and everytime I got to a stop sign and stopped (gasp!) she'd lay in on her horn at me, and then as soon as I would go, she'd just go behind me. At one point she almost caused an accident `cuz the person who had the right of way also jumped out quite fast. She also felt it was appropriate to lay into the horn when I decided to make a legal right-hand turn off of the road, not at a stop, so I (gasp!) slowed down to safely make the turn.

I only wish the cops were out today...

ManBeast

Brake check next time maybe?

 

[ManBeast]

Yeah, I just didn't want to deal with it, my insurance is finally down to a cheap rate Plus she wasn't my type when it comes to "gimme some reason not to report it to police/insurance"

ManBeast

 

[AaronJP1]

Yeah, I just didn't want to deal with it, my insurance is finally down to a cheap rate Plus she wasn't my type when it comes to "gimme some reason not to report it to police/insurance"

ManBeast

Give her a blow job sign....

 

[xigotmailx]

I ****ing hate bad drivers, another completely different thread possibly haha. I used to be a dick on the road too when I drove for Papa John's in high school. My favorite thing was chucking pennies at peoples cars or throwing the all-mighty slushie at someone getting off the freeway so they had no way to chase me

 

[mikeg313]

Last time I got into it with a guy on the road otw to work he tried the whole I'm gonna jerk my SUV at u
Like I'm gonna run you off the road so I launched my full shaker cup of ice , milk and proteins powder at his window. It didn't break the window but damn it was loud enough I could hear it smash at 70mph. Made a nice mess, then he pulled the whole follow me lets fight as I was getting on the off ramp while he clearly didn't wanna follow to come get some. Luckily vitamin shoppe was otw to work so I could stop and get another shaker and a protein drink for work. Lol

 

[AaronJP1]

Last time I got into it with a guy on the road otw to work he tried the whole I'm gonna jerk my SUV at u
Like I'm gonna run you off the road so I launched my full shaker cup of ice , milk and proteins powder at his window. It didn't break the window but damn it was loud enough I could hear it smash at 70mph. Made a nice mess, then he pulled the whole follow me lets fight as I was getting on the off ramp while he clearly didn't wanna follow to come get some. Luckily vitamin shoppe was otw to work so I could stop and get another shaker and a protein drink for work. Lol

He probably would've got out the car an kicked your ass... lol some1 pulled a gun on you because you had a similar driving incident b4 right?

 

[mikeg313]

He probably would've got out the car an kicked your ass... lol some1 pulled a gun on you because you had a similar driving incident b4 right?

Doubt it, and no the other situation the dumb **** pulled a gun after being inconciderate and me giving him the finger. If you ever venture into the Detroit metro area be warned, you're going to encounter the biggest group of inconciderate as?holes on the road you'll ever meet. Matter of fact as you travel 75 north and cross over from Ohio into southeast michigan you'll be immediately cut off in the "passing" lane then brake checked while the idiot slows down and talks on the phone all the while with highbeams on! Ahhh i miss arizona

It's even worse when your on a bike here, they don't see you and when they do they don't care. You may as well be an enemy combatant

 

[AaronJP1]

Doubt it, and no the other situation the dumb **** pulled a gun after being inconciderate and me giving him the finger. If you ever venture into the Detroit metro area be warned, you're going to encounter the biggest group of inconciderate as?holes on the road you'll ever meet. Matter of fact as you travel 75 north and cross over from Ohio into southeast michigan you'll be immediately cut off in the "passing" lane then brake checked while the idiot slows down and talks on the phone all the while with highbeams on! Ahhh i miss arizona

It's even worse when your on a bike here, they don't see you and when they do they don't care. You may as well be an enemy combatant

Ohio people can drive, Florida people can't.

 

[mikeg313]

Ohio people can drive, Florida people can't.

Prolly cus you get alot of snowbirds and retirees down there. AZ in the winter was real bad for that. Big cars and violet cotton balls barely seeing over the steering wheel.

Your right about Ohio though it's nice driving out of state as soon as you leave MI slower traffic stays to the right and people actually abide by the rules of the road. Detroit is an ignorant city on many levels, it's sad as ****!