Signs You'd Like to See Hung Up At the Gym
- 09-11-2004, 01:31 AM
Signs You'd Like to See Hung Up At the Gym
This should be fun...
1. No cell phones. If you are caught talking on a cell phone, the big ****er in the corner deadlifting 500lbs will smash your phone, and stare at you like "And What?!"
2. No curling in the squat rack.
3. Screaming is not allowed, unless you are performing a compound exercise with a lot of weight. If we hear you screaming while doing curls or tricep pressdowns, we will give you something to scream about.
4. Roll your ****ing sleeves down, or go home and put on a tank top.
5. You must wear deoderant!
6. Wearing cologne to the gym is not cool. If girls want you to smell nice, they won't be looking for you at the gym. Sissy.
I know there's about a hundred more that I've thought of throughout my training sessions. Feel free to add...
- 09-11-2004, 01:52 AM
1. "size" must receive oral sex from the woman of his choosing.
Good enough for me.
- 09-11-2004, 01:56 AM
Originally Posted by size
09-11-2004, 03:22 AM
Do not increase the weight on a machine after you are finished to make it look like you were working with that weight
saw that on a muscleheadz cartoon hehe
09-11-2004, 09:05 AM
I would just be happy if people would put their weight back on the rack when finished instead of leaving it on the bar/machine or the floor. And please put it back on the right rack. I hate it when I have to rearrange all the weights just to get the one I need.
Oh yeah, if you're not using the machine/station to work out with then move your social group out of my way so that I can use it.
09-11-2004, 09:57 AM
Thanks 5111... that is the one sign I would like to see up
RACK YOU DAMN WEIGHTS OR YOU ARE GOING TO PAY DEARLY FOR IT!!
09-11-2004, 10:05 AM
1) Get out of the mirror unless you have something in your eye
2) RACK THE WEIGHT!!!!!
09-11-2004, 11:44 AM
"dont walk around the gym like you're the biggest baddest person in here, if you are over 20% bf"
I hate those fat ****s that have like 18" arms, but think they're they're so buff and fit, and walk around like they own the place. They look at the amount you're lifting, and boost their ego because they can life heavier, yet overlook the fact they have a 44" waist.
"If you're a guy, your shorts must be at least halfway down your thigh."
Every gym that that skinny twig fitness guy, which is totally cool. But for some reason he wants to wear shorts that are about as long as what girls wear. Then this guy usually does exercises that are just plain disgusting, like hanging leg raises, and leg press. ::Shudder::
09-11-2004, 11:54 AM
ROFLMAO @ your second one! LOL.Originally Posted by JonBlaze
The first one you mention is very true, I can't stand even in public when you have your typical fat guy with an ok base who walks around like his lats are just so damn huge he couldn't possibly lower his hands, and those 18" arms he thinks he has would only be 15" inches if he were to cut down that incredibly high BF%. That's a good one. In general I can't stand any guy who walks around like he is the toughest and biggest badest mother****er. Guys who are truly confident in themselves don't have to play mind games with other people, and let their body do all the talking without all the bull**** flash.
09-11-2004, 11:55 AM
"If you are done using a machine, wipe off the gallon of ass sweat you left on the seat/bench."
09-11-2004, 12:48 PM
Or lay a towell down on the seat before you use the damn thing. I sweat like three Meatloafs, so whenever I'm at the gym I bring a towell, a LARGE towell for my large ass, so no one has to sit in my sweat. I expect the same courtesy in return.Originally Posted by LittleChina
My Signs: 1) Don't dry your nads in the locker room using the anal floss method. Pat dry. It's quicker, cleaner, less apt to make me punch you, and your girl will thank you for not flavoring your pecker with your ass juice.. 2) SHOWER a bit before going into the whirlpool. One fat ****er (I should talk) I saw left a rainbow oil slick on the surface of the water. Disgusting. 3) Don't hog the water fountain for an hour. If you need to drink that much water get a jug of Poland Spring or a saline IV or something. 4) Don't offer advice or assistance unless it's asked for, or if someone is on the verge of killing themselves. When I was rehabbing my knee from its last major buckling incident some meathead came up to me on the leg press machine and upped the weight by a hundred pounds. I was ready to break his neck, if I could have found it.
09-11-2004, 01:01 PM
Yeah I had a guy jump in and try to spot me when I was doing standing military presses in the rack. I had everything under control and was maxing out at 160 and he jumps in behind me and starts yelling "I got you covered bro, c'mon man, c'mon!"
I was thinking "I'm going to throw this barbell on you to shut you up."
DB Curls in the squat rack, oh my god that drives me insane!
Here's one for a wo T-shirt..
"If you're a really hot woman, do NOT stand where I can see you when I am in the middle of a heavy squat."
09-11-2004, 01:18 PM
No ****. I've walked into walls at the gym while looking at some of the women there. Ran right into the wall while playing racquetball once when this hottie walked past the glass back wall. That was actually pretty funny, once I got my bearings back.Originally Posted by bioman
09-11-2004, 01:59 PM
Hey... at least you have a good excuse for hittin the wall... I hit it so hard that people from 2 courts over were comin out to see what the hell happened... To top it all off, I didn't even save the shot but boy did I test the strength rating of that wall!
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09-11-2004, 02:13 PM
There's nothin worse than having to wait to do squats because some deusch is doin curls in the squat rack. Next has to be screamin, there's this little fella in my gym who screams like a girl in a horror movie even when doing alternating dumbbell curls. I was doin deads the other day and I could hear him with my headphones on and music blastin, got me so pissed I got a new PR. Then I screamed shut the **** up! Oh yeah, there should be a sign 10 MINUTE TIME LIMIT FOR EACH STATION, one time Iasked this guy how many sets he had left after I waited while he did 2 and he said 8, TEN ****ing sets of hammer strength high rows this ****er did!
09-11-2004, 02:49 PM
Squat Rack FOR SQUATS
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09-11-2004, 02:58 PM
1- If you must scream while curling 25lbs, chess would be a better choice for you
2- If you don't have lats, don't walk like you're carrying midgets under each arm
3- Work all bodyparts, not just chest and arms
4- Cellphones will be used for toilet paper if seen on the weightroom floor
5- Wearing an Ambercrombie tank doesn't make you a tough-guy
6- Dropping dumbells only means you are not strong enough to lift them
7- There's a reason they call it a "squat rack"
8- Watching those with a better physique than yours will not make you grow
9- If someone's bigger than you, it has nothing to do with steroids you jealous prick
10- No "Spring-Break lifting" allowed.. If you can't get laid now, getting in shape won't help
One for a T-shirt, I might make this one: WARNING! Owner of this Tee likes tren, and hates skinny bastards like YOU!!
09-11-2004, 03:16 PM
Dont interupt me when Im training to talk about the weather. SHUT UP and TRAIN!!
09-11-2004, 04:30 PM
SO DAMN TRUE!Originally Posted by bigpetefox
09-11-2004, 04:36 PM
For the women: Spandex is a priveledge, not a right.
09-11-2004, 08:38 PM
No talking to other members just head nod agnolagements.
09-11-2004, 09:01 PM
What I hate is the members who go to the gym just to see other people. Like they are in ****in' highschool or something!
09-11-2004, 09:34 PM
Okay Blaze, I will try to contain myself the next few times at the gym
Originally Posted by JonBlaze
09-12-2004, 12:04 AM
For the last ****ing time, "No, this is not Nitro Tech I am sipping on!" I can't tell you how many times people come up to me inquiring about my Hydro whey/hydro casein/maltodextrin/dextrose/creatine/taurine drink. Then the next question almost like a ****ing recording, "Have you ever tried Nitro Tech ?!!!!! This is especially true for military gyms . Which leads me to my next one.
Get out of my face, Slipknot is blasting in my ears for a ****ing reason! I like to wait for a particularly hardcore part in a song to start my set. So one time, I'm waiting there for about 2 minutes for this part in a song to start my set of side lying dumbell raises (on an incline bench), and I can see this ****er looking at me out of the corner of my eye. So the part in the song comes on, and I start my set. I get to my 3rd rep, and the ******* taps me on the shoulder. I don't even look at him, and continue to go to failure, and drop the dumbell ready to grab another one as I had planned on a dropset. So he taps me again. I didn't even get to the dropset, and I jump up " What the **** do you want???" To his reply, "I was just gonna ask you a question man, forget it." So I say "You don't tap somebody on the shoulder in the middle of a set, have some ****ing manners." And that was that.
09-12-2004, 01:05 AM
lol, I had the exact same thing happen..Slipknot..waiting for "if your 555 I'm 666!' to come on, only it was this gorgeous, stunningly beautiful gal I know just wanting to chit chat. She's seriously an 11+, 6'0", 120 pounds, and she has a serbian accent..ga gah goo goo. So I have to switch out of "kill the iron monsters" mode and try to not stare at her tits. If she heard what was coming thru the headphones she'd run away screaming lol.
09-12-2004, 10:12 AM
09-12-2004, 12:09 PM
I was just playing volleyball last night with one like this, though more of a 7/8. Face was pretty, body was killer. Those must be some sweet knobs.Originally Posted by bioman
09-12-2004, 05:36 PM
09-12-2004, 08:07 PM
LMAO...man I hate that...and they always rock their head back and kind of scrunch up their necks and look down their nose like they are as bad as they think they are!!Originally Posted by JonBlaze
09-12-2004, 08:08 PM
lol...I'll take 2...Originally Posted by bigpetefox
09-12-2004, 09:11 PM
Well this isnt really about the gym but its something that pisses me off. If there are ten urinals on the wall, and im in #1, go to number 9 or 10 not number 2.
Oh yeah and a spot dosnt mean throw the weight on the rack when the person runs into a tiny bit of resistance. I hate it when I'm doing bench and I ask someone for a spot and I get through 5 and then have a tiny bit of trouble on the 6th rep and they immidiatly throw it back on the bench as if it was just laying on my chest and I was unconsious.
09-12-2004, 09:26 PM
That is annoying. The whole point of a workout is to push yourself. I have a couple wo partners though who know how to spot me: wait until I ask for help.Originally Posted by coofoostu
As for the urinal thing, that always pisses me off. More so though when it comes to the stalls.
09-12-2004, 09:28 PM
Damn, add some caffeine and Citrulline Malatate and that is the ultimate WO Drink. Think I'm going to try something like that soon. Where does one get hydro casein from?Originally Posted by supersoldier
09-12-2004, 10:32 PM
Trueprotein.comOriginally Posted by TheUsual
09-13-2004, 11:46 PM
Hey! My lats are pretty decent, my arms just hang that way because I have absolutely no flexibility.2- If you don't have lats, don't walk like you're carrying midgets under each arm
09-14-2004, 08:50 AM
don't spot me if you are wearing baggy shorts and no underwear
09-14-2004, 09:58 AM
Originally Posted by coofoostu
No offense, but no one should usually be in number 1 or 10 unless he has just been swimming or been taking ephedra.
09-14-2004, 10:05 AM
1..Don't even think of wearing spandex
2..Your mother does not work here pick up after yourself
3..If you wear workboots and a cut off flannel shirt you best be one big MOFO...
Last edited by MaDmaN; 09-14-2004 at 10:24 AM.
09-14-2004, 02:55 PM
that reminds me; there's a group of guys in my gym that work out there... i saw one of them come in with a flannel shirt; the guys gave him **** until he took it off; i'd wished he put it back on; he was hairy as ****, looked like a ****in yetiOriginally Posted by MaDmaN
and yes he was about 6'7-6'9 and 300+
big guy hehe
09-15-2004, 12:02 AM
Don't fu%&ing wear jeans when you work out.
This one obese lady comes in to my local ymca wearing JEANS. She harasses the hell out of me too. "Your done with that right?" right when I'm about to start another set. I say no and she says "how much longer are you going to use it?" as she looks impatiently at the clock. They were playing this alternative rock music at the gym and I hear her telling her whipped husband to go make the guy change it.. In less than a minute they were playing this Yanni bull****.. and that too on my LEG DAY. Talk about discovering inner inspiration.
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