This should be fun...
1. No cell phones. If you are caught talking on a cell phone, the big ****er in the corner deadlifting 500lbs will smash your phone, and stare at you like "And What?!"
2. No curling in the squat rack.
3. Screaming is not allowed, unless you are performing a compound exercise with a lot of weight. If we hear you screaming while doing curls or tricep pressdowns, we will give you something to scream about.
4. Roll your ****ing sleeves down, or go home and put on a tank top.
5. You must wear deoderant!
6. Wearing cologne to the gym is not cool. If girls want you to smell nice, they won't be looking for you at the gym. Sissy.
I know there's about a hundred more that I've thought of throughout my training sessions. Feel free to add...