If my marriage doesnt work out I'm dating outside American culture next time!!

[CoorsLight126]

Wanted to put my wifes head through the frikken wall earlier. Check this out, she is in school and doesnt work. I kill myself and put in mad overtime at my job and have a couple side gigs so I can pay for everything. She goes without NOTHING!! Girl is carrying around a $500 Coach purse, driving a new Jeep, gets everything she needs from me. Most people in college are living the life of the poor and broke eating Ramen ****ing noodles and drinking PBR. Not only do I support her and keep things going, I'm still doing **** like taking the family on vacations, new clothes, extra curricular **** for the kids, etc etc. I come home today with a $50 pair of flippin sneakers I bought and what do I hear? "Must be nice, my roots in my hair are turning brown again and I need it cut and colored" I ****ing lost it!! Told her that I'm the one who should be driving the new Jeep and she should be driving my 95' Cherokee, thats the way it should be if she wants to get technical about it. Then she goes on to tell me I'm demanding, and that I treat her like one of these husbands from the 1940's. I told her if I was one of those guys from the 40's I would just knock her frikken teeth out the first time she got smart with me. I'm the bread winner here, its my house my rules, and I'll be damned if some girl who doesnt have to work at all is going to talk smack to me like nothing is good enough because I do **** like buy a tanning bed membership or cheap ass shoes. WTF gives? Furthermore, I always put the family first, anything I get for myself is extra money. Oh yea, this is real cute too, just yesterday I shell out $$ to the auto place because she needed a new transmission, THEN GO PUT $70 of gas in the thing, THEN come home and give her $100 to last her a few days. But I'm the ****ing bad guy for buying myself a pair of frikken shoes!! If it wasnt for my son I'd be so gone, its bull****, bitch doesnt appreciate anything. If some **** goes down, I tell you guys something, I'm frikken done with American women. I'm going to go find myself an Asian chick or some girl from Russia who is hot as hell but comes from nothing, and appreciates me, Amen!!

 

[T-Bone]

Sounds like you're stressed out. Maybe go work off that anger at the gym?

 

[Rodja]

I wouldn't go so far to blanket this as American, but she sounds very materialistic.

 

[Blacktail]

Trust me buddy a lot of foreign chicks are the same way. Sounds like you need to cut her off if she's not respecting you and tell her soon she can pay for her own hair. DO not put the puss y on a pedestal. If it doesn't work out look for a working woman.

 

[n87]

Sorry to hear that man. Word of advice though, if you decide to marry a foreign girl. Find the one that already has a green card. That way, you'll be sure she is not in it for a chance to move to the States. And american girls, unfortunately, one has to have two jobs to satisfy the demands, while she's getting fat and lazy, not caring if she looks attractive to her significant one. Sad but true...

 

[demolition]

sounds like a chick i dated for 7 years. glad thats over!!

 

[T-AD]

Welcome to high maintenance women!!! Fortunately, I married a low-maintenance one. She's definitely not without her flaws, though. In our house, we both work. I still make more by a long shot, and sometimes when she complains about stupid stuff, I do point that out. Prime example is haircuts. When I met her and for YEARS, she had lovely long hair down to her butt. I'm a sucker for hair and eyes. (Great boobs, too...so I thought I won big!) Fast forward to pregnancy - she lopped her hair off at the shoulder one day without telling me she was doing it. I wasn't happy. Next was a "pixie cut", which I refer to as a ... well, just plain ol' fashioned "I'm a girl who likes girls and plays softball" haircut. I wasn't happy, and am still not happy. Costs her $35 to get it cut and "styled" each month, and that's at the li'l place inside the Walmart. (High class!) I shave my head with a set of Wahl dog grooming shears - never been used on a dog, mind you, but work really well - and use scissors to cut the top myself. To me, the haircut is an unnecessary expense most of the time, simply because we aren't exactly rollin' in it. It's a luxury, but it makes her happy and she really doesn't ask for that much, so I groan and go with it.

In your case, wow... I do feel bad for you, man. Every marriage has its problems, no matter what the couple may tell you. Sometimes we can deal with it and sometimes we can't. Bring a kid into the equation and it makes leaving exceedingly difficult. No parent wants to "do that" to a child, but in some cases, it might actually be the best thing for them. Sometimes you have to man up and cut 'em off, though. Stop giving her the money. Go grocery shopping and YOU make the list and stick to it. If her vehicle dies, and she really doesn't need to go anywhere, then let it sit. Start taking her vehicle when you leave - atleast she'll have yours to get around in. I'm not all that macho when it comes to treating a woman, more of the romantic type, but I do know that sometimes you just have to put your foot down.

Sit down, try to have a rational conversation, and work things out. If she can't, then start taking more drastic measures. All my best to ya, bro. You've got friends here.

 

[EasyEJL]

I dunno, this sounds like a situation you created yourself. Why does she carry the $500 coach, drive the new car, etc? You bought her those things, so you've built the expectation in her that you'll keep doing it. Its not like a foreign chick would be any different if you showered her with material things from day 1.

 

[T-AD]

Afterthought...

1 word: Mistress.

:head: :cheers:

 

[ambulldog]

id get rid of her. i had one like that. they dont get better only worse. i would venture to guess shes pretty hot so she thinks she deserves everything to be handed to her. i could go on about my ex but ill save you guys the rant

 

[CoorsLight126]

I dunno, this sounds like a situation you created yourself. Why does she carry the $500 coach, drive the new car, etc? You bought her those things, so you've built the expectation in her that you'll keep doing it. Its not like a foreign chick would be any different if you showered her with material things from day 1.

I'm not disagreeing with you on this one, your right. I'm about to change that though

 

[Mrodz]

I shouldn't be in this thread but I can't help myself

In your case, wow... I do feel bad for you, man. Every marriage has its problems, no matter what the couple may tell you. Sometimes we can deal with it and sometimes we can't. Bring a kid into the equation and it makes leaving exceedingly difficult. No parent wants to "do that" to a child, but in some cases, it might actually be the best thing for them. Sometimes you have to man up and cut 'em off, though. Stop giving her the money. Go grocery shopping and YOU make the list and stick to it. If her vehicle dies, and she really doesn't need to go anywhere, then let it sit. Start taking her vehicle when you leave - atleast she'll have yours to get around in. I'm not all that macho when it comes to treating a woman, more of the romantic type, but I do know that sometimes you just have to put your foot down.

Sit down, try to have a rational conversation, and work things out. If she can't, then start taking more drastic measures. All my best to ya, bro. You've got friends here.

I agree with this, sometimes in a relationship somebody (either him or her) has got to put their foot down!! Don't fear putting down the foot. In a calm rational way, don't let anyone provoke u into a yelling match or to say insulting things then ur on the losing end



I'll never understand materialism, I don't officially work, I'll take a project at home that I'll do once in awhile to get some extra money but that's it. But. I cook every meal eaten (I organize ALL of his lunches and he eats a LOT) I cut my own hair and keep it nice, I do my own nails, I don't buy anything expensive because I don't like expensive things $500 purse seems like such a horrible waste. We could have an awesome weekend on $500!!! My idea of splurging is a 40$ bikini I bought for the summer.

I grew up with very little money, and for awhile my husband and I lived dirt poor (we were both working) with a mattress on the floor and two little electric burners for cooking, hand washing all the clothes etc... Until we saved up to buy our house that we live in. I work hard and help him in everything he needs. I had a friend chant the 1940's bla bla to me once and I told her I'm just keeping up my end of things if it were the other way around I'd expect the same of him.

I also paint his cars, which saves us a few $$

And I consider myself raised mostly in American Culture.

 

[EasyEJL]

I'm not disagreeing with you on this one, your right. I'm about to change that though

My wife does at times get showered with gifts (she's got a coach, a juicy, etc purses along with jewelery) but understands at the same time because I established it early on that getting that was at my choice. And that there'd be times where I got stuff for myself, and she got nothing. Car wise, we take turns with who gets the nicer car. Not so much in hand me downs, but we buy new cars every 5-6 years and basically if you had the $16,000 car last time, you can get the $30,000 car this time, and vice versa. But she does work, not a stay at home mom. She had the option to stay at home but she declined once I laid out what the budget would be like

 

[EasyEJL]

Until we saved up to buy our house that we live in.

the most intriguing thing I saw in PR was how many people had a pallet or two of cinderblocks on the roof of their house, and were slowly adding a second story to the home. It makes sense, you buy more blocks when you have spare money and use the time where you have nothing exciting happening to work on it. Eventually you end up with a bigger house, but no bigger payment.

 

[AE14]

Similar to Easy. My wife works now, makes a nice little living and is able to buy all the extras that she wants. It was set up early (and not without many bumps along the way) that extravagance will not work.

 

[T-AD]

Best advice for a happy marriage: Never go to bed angry. Sure, you may crawl into bed angry, but either discuss it briefly and set it aside, or take your frustrations out the good ol' fashioned way - angry humpin'. Do that, go to bed in relative peace, wake up to a new day.

 

[T-Bone]

Most of you guys seem pretty well off. I don't own a house or have a $30,000 dollar car. Just a one bedroom apartment and $15,000 dollar car the wife and I pay off in six years. The thing is I don't really want a house or an expensive car and I really don't understand people that do want all these things. What get a big house, just so I can get more stuff?. I'd rather be happy, humble and poor than rich and miserable. Sorry I just don't understand I guess.

 

[T-AD]

Most of you guys seem pretty well off. I don't own a house or have a $30,000 dollar car. Just a one bedroom apartment and $15,000 dollar car the wife and I pay off in six years. The thing is I don't really want a house or an expensive car and I really don't understand people that do want all these things. What get a big house, just so I can get more stuff?. I'd rather be happy, humble and poor than rich and miserable. Sorry I just don't understand I guess.

I'm with you on that!! I think that given the chance, we'd all want more stuff. There's always a "want" out there. But for a lot of us, there's the stuff we have and that we have to manage with it. Sure, I live in a 4-bedroom house. Rent it. I drive a Saab - traded car for car with family for it. Got a bike - financed. Went to college - payin' it off little by little. Got a nice gov't job w/ full benefits - that pays about crap and a half. It's all about making the best of what you have, living within your means, or atleast knowing what to do if you live slightly beyond those means.

Life, and marriage, is all about sacrifice. When one sacrifices everything, there is an unjust imbalance that will somehow result in something bad. Whether the OP cracks and goes nuts, gets fully whipped, ends his marriage, or just ends up doing something else, something has to give. It's the same for everyone, I guarantee it.

 

[Mrodz]

I got my house to start a family in the future, to have my dogs and cat, to have land to grow things and eat them.
And my cars are used

 

[T-AD]

I got my house to start a family in the future, to have my dogs and cat, my yard to have cows fall on, to have land to grow things and eat them.
And my cars are used

Fixed that for ya, Maite. :stooges:

 

[Mrodz]

Damnable falling cows!! Those basturds were not a part of the plan :/ I ought to eat them

 

[CoorsLight126]

Most of you guys seem pretty well off. I don't own a house or have a $30,000 dollar car. Just a one bedroom apartment and $15,000 dollar car the wife and I pay off in six years. The thing is I don't really want a house or an expensive car and I really don't understand people that do want all these things. What get a big house, just so I can get more stuff?. I'd rather be happy, humble and poor than rich and miserable. Sorry I just don't understand I guess.

Funny part is, I HATE owning a house. If I didnt have 2 kids in the house I would be in a condo or townhouse. Why work all week long just to have to work on your house on the weekends? I'd rather have a nice little maintenance free townhouse and play on the weekends. You also can get things in a condo or townhouse you cannot get in a home for the same money, ie: granite countertops, upgraded appliances, nicer floors, etc etc. I guess since I was raised in a home with my own backyard then thats why I decided to buy a house. But in this day and time with everyones hectic schedule, who has the time to worry about upkeep?

 

[youngandfree]

How about get some advice from someone with a successful marriage or a professional counselor? I understand your anger, but you guys need to sit down with a respected third party and put everything out on the table. Before I got married, I lived with me now wife. All the guys at work gave me he same advice, keep everything in your name and when you get tired of it, just boot her out. Finally it dawned on me that most of them were on their second or third marriage. I found some people that had good marriages and decided to seek their advice. I read some good books and when we decided to get married, we were better equipped to deal with issues.

It hasn't all been roses, I nearly got our house forclosed on and screwed our finances up really bad for a few years. But we had decided we were going to stick it out and make it work.

There is no wonder the divorce rate is so high. No one wants to stick it out. Not trying to bust your balls OP, but the title of your thread tells me you haven't made that commitment, or you forgot what your marriage vows actually meant. I hate to see any marriage breakup, especially with kids involved. I hope you two can come to terms and get passed this.

 

[Gygas21]

PIIHB or GTFO

 

[T-Bone]

PIIHB or GTFO

Wow!. Is there anyone of higher intelligence than you? Tell me did you go to an Ivy League school?

 

[badbart]

I married a Colombian and I'm very happy. She is a very hard worker, puts first and doesn't care about material things. I could go on foreve.

 

[HondaV65]

Honda's criteria for women ...

1. Does she turn me on? If yes - go to step two ...

2. Is she capable of telling me when my testosterone is polluting my thinking? If yes - go to step three ...

3. Is she smart enough to think for me when my testosterone is polluting my thinking? If yes ...

4. Does she love men? But also understand that men are stupid - but she loves that fact about them because they make love like Tarzan? If yes ...

MARRY HER.

It's as simple as that - well, I do like a woman who walks around naked in the house as if she were wearing a three-thousand dollar dress. Definitely a bonus. And what I don't understand - Mrs. Honda and every woman I dated before her does this! I never found one that didn't. When I get out of the shower I wrap a towel around me while I shave. Not the girls I dated - they were totally "au natural" while they stood at the mirror and brushed their hair. Even the ones that didn't have great bodies.

Damn - that's HOT.

Aristotle Onasis said ... "Without women - all the money in the world would be worthless"

That statement - is the sum total of "enlightenment" that any man can ever achieve.

We are willing slaves to women - and happily so. Mrs. Honda is superior to me - in every way except one ...

When the sex thang is on - she knows that she will try to keep up with Honda - but will just end up a whimpering puddle of love sweat.

I earn money - and bring it home to Mrs. Honda - and she let's me keep some of it and throws some "love" my way.

And I am the happiest man in the world. I have everything I need.

 

[glockgod]

don't look overseas for a gold-digger-free GF. women are women. unless you keep her inside the house without a TV sooner or later they will go bad regardless of their background...

good women are hard to find...

 

[Irish Cannon]

I can't even get my GF to spend $20 on a haircut. She thinks it's absurd to pay that...but she'll buy me a pint of Arrogant Bastard and one of my favorite cigars without hesitating...sorry, guys, I can't relate.

 

[phatmike0704]

hope she's not on the forum lol dam, i feel bad even though i have no experience toward this. but wait till she's outa school, she'll work and thats twice the money(if she's not burning it on more purses).

 

[Markusrulezzz]

yo, alot of women are like that !!! women in general are like that

marry a russian or a persian and you will commit suicide

 

[MEH89]

I have no good advice on this matter, but thank god im not married. Best of luck dude.

 

[RenegadeRows]

I'm not sure how much culture has to do with it.

I've dated a girl from China... that was a helluva experience

There were aspects with her that I didn't get with American girls. IE, she ALWAYS cooked for me. I wasn't to help with the dishes, or cooking...I just sat and waited

But she also wanted expensive things, tried to tell me how to dress, etc. That was way off. Have you heard that Chinese women are subservient to their husbands? Maybe in public... but in the household, the wife wears the pants. I couldn't deal with it, the culture was too different than what I'm used to. Too bad it didn't work though. She was a great chick.

My brother married a Brazilian girl. She took advantage of him, took his money and moved back to Brazil. If I meet a great Brazilian chick, that will always be in my head.

I've learned that cultural stereotypes can be way off...be careful.

Women are the same all over... that is to say, individuals

 

[RenegadeRows]

I should mention, this Chinese girl I dated... She didn't care if I drove a 84 pinto, or wore ragged clothes. She loved me for me.

But when she wanted sunglasses, nothing under $400 would suffice. I couldn't understand it... I don't think I ever will.

 

[Mrodz]

I'm not sure how much culture has to do with it.

I've dated a girl from China... that was a helluva experience

There were aspects with her that I didn't get with American girls. IE, she ALWAYS cooked for me. I wasn't to help with the dishes, or cooking...I just sat and waited

But she also wanted expensive things, tried to tell me how to dress, etc. That was way off. Have you heard that Chinese women are subservient to their husbands? Maybe in public... but in the household, the wife wears the pants. I couldn't deal with it, the culture was too different than what I'm used to. Too bad it didn't work though. She was a great chick.

My brother married a Brazilian girl. She took advantage of him, took his money and moved back to Brazil. If I meet a great Brazilian chick, that will always be in my head.

I've learned that cultural stereotypes can be way off...be careful.

Women are the same all over... that is to say, individuals

bolded :thumbsup:

 

[Whacked]

Bingo - find an attractive virtuous CHRISTIAN woman with morals and values and she's worth her weight in GOLD.

In today's nusto world, nothing beats morality, class and loyalty. Not saying you can't find that in a non-Christian woman, but as a Christian, this is what works for me and all I know.

PS: The older you get, the less important looks are. We all get uglier over time. Someone that takes care of herself and does her best to fight aging is alll you can expect.

don't look overseas for a gold-digger-free GF. women are women. unless you keep her inside the house without a TV sooner or later they will go bad regardless of their background...

good women are hard to find...

 

[Gutterpump]

Sounds like you need to cut her off if she's not respecting you and tell her soon she can pay for her own hair. DO not put the puss y on a pedestal.

^this

If I notice this trend in a woman I am dating, I take no hesitation to gtho, no matter how hot she is. Women like this come with a massive price tag, a ton of stress, and honestly I feel like I can't trust them because if they don't get what they think they deserve - they may begin looking around for a little extra support for their princess status...

Is she relatively young? Sounds like it, and a little spoiled. She should respect you far more than she does. You need to bring her back down to earth.. Sorry for your situation. Been there before... surprisingly with a woman in her 30s too, but she was born and raised into this lifestyle

 

[Gutterpump]

I'm not sure how much culture has to do with it.

I've dated a girl from China... that was a helluva experience

There were aspects with her that I didn't get with American girls. IE, she ALWAYS cooked for me. I wasn't to help with the dishes, or cooking...I just sat and waited

But she also wanted expensive things, tried to tell me how to dress, etc. That was way off. Have you heard that Chinese women are subservient to their husbands? Maybe in public... but in the household, the wife wears the pants. I couldn't deal with it, the culture was too different than what I'm used to. Too bad it didn't work though. She was a great chick.

My brother married a Brazilian girl. She took advantage of him, took his money and moved back to Brazil. If I meet a great Brazilian chick, that will always be in my head.

I've learned that cultural stereotypes can be way off...be careful.

Women are the same all over... that is to say, individuals

Dude I just came out of this with my ex. Girl from Taiwan. VERY great person, but too many things I couldn't get past... plus the fact that in the Taiwanese culture, people don't typically save for retirement, they let their kids take care of them at home when they retire. Well I'm not cool with living with her ultra conservative mother who won't even let me kiss her daughter unless we're married, not to mention can't stay over or have her over. Pretty extreme.

I've dated many asian women, mostly Taiwanese. My ex before this last one - we didn't have this issue - her mom had money and retired back in Taiwan and let us stay in her downtown condo she owned here..

Very interesting culture though and loved many things about the relationship. I also had the same experience at home - she LOVED to cook for me and just made me sit there while she prepped everything. Of course after a while I started helping out though lol. I would really love to date a Japanese girl. I met a couple in college that were there briefly on exchange to learn better english, awesome culture and super sexy! I love Japanese women with big round asses but that's neither here nor there... just sayin lol.