The myth that women want deep conversation

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  1. The myth that women want deep conversation


    Why does this falsehood get perpetuated.I was talking to my best friends girl today about this.One of her complaints about him is that he is to sentimental and talks to much about the past.She just wants light conversation and to live for the moment.
    She says she has no regrets for anything she has done in the past,right or wrong.Most women I know are the same way.


  2. Yeah there are shallow women.

  3. Quote Originally Posted by Conagher View Post
    Why does this falsehood get perpetuated.I was talking to my best friends girl today about this.One of her complaints about him is that he is to sentimental and talks to much about the past.She just wants light conversation and to live for the moment.
    She says she has no regrets for anything she has done in the past,right or wrong.Most women I know are the same way.
    depends on the woman,depends on the guy, depends on the attraction, and depends on the time...

    I never met a woman yet capable of deep conversation(no offense intended). Most people dont "think" anymore...

    EDIT: I take that last bit back, I think there have been 2, but they were much older and mature.
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  4. Actually your friend who talks about his feelings and such sounds like a girl himself.

    If you ask me, most women are in love with the question "why?"

    They ask guys why, and to explain themselves all the time, and usually guys don't want to talk about ****. On the other than girls LOVE listeners and love when guys ask them why.

  5. There's a bit of balance to be had in this area. It's nice to be with someone who has the ability to have a conversation about something other than doing curls or fashion but it's also nice to not have every conversation revolve around physics and the Elliot-wave.
  6. Completely agree about the balance part


    Quote Originally Posted by Jayhawkk View Post
    There's a bit of balance to be had in this area. It's nice to be with someone who has the ability to have a conversation about something other than doing curls or fashion but it's also nice to not have every conversation revolve around physics and the Elliot-wave.
    I have to admit,she is one of the most perplexing girls I have ever known.She has actually pushed me to open up about personal issues,so the revelation that she would like him to keep the conversation light and on a more superficial level perplexes me.
    The dilemna for me is,I work for her.She has treated me well and I want to stay in good graces with her for my jobs sake.
    On the other hand,I am torn by my loyalty to my friend.From what I have learned of her,I just can`t see any future in their relationship,but I am bound by promise not to to reveal anything to him that me and her have discussed.
    I think at this point,I will have to let my integrity take a backseat to my job security.

  7. Quote Originally Posted by Killerkanadia View Post
    Actually your friend who talks about his feelings and such sounds like a girl himself.

    If you ask me, most women are in love with the question "why?"

    They ask guys why, and to explain themselves all the time, and usually guys don't want to talk about ****. On the other than girls LOVE listeners and love when guys ask them why.
    This is another perplexing part of the whole thing.A few days ago she was saying he is the typical guy who would not let her past the surface and when she pushes,he shuts down and gets mad.
    So why,now,is she doing a 180?

  8. She reached her goal and now its time to move on to another one or when he opened up he REALLY opened up and she wasn't prepared for that...

  9. f!cking women.....relationships suck.

  10. Quote Originally Posted by Conagher View Post
    This is another perplexing part of the whole thing.A few days ago she was saying he is the typical guy who would not let her past the surface and when she pushes,he shuts down and gets mad.
    So why,now,is she doing a 180?
    Women (probably like men) don't know what they want lol. Jay seems to be right, and i think they appreciate the difference between men and women and how they decide to talk about their feelings.

    Most guys who talk about their feelings to women are 1, gay 2, on a friendship level. Of course by the time you have a serious relationship, you have to talk about your feelings to your spouse, but that's a little different, and still not pouring out your emotions or anything like that.

  11. Quote Originally Posted by Killerkanadia View Post
    Women (probably like men) don't know what they want lol. Jay seems to be right, and i think they appreciate the difference between men and women and how they decide to talk about their feelings.

    Most guys who talk about their feelings to women are 1, gay 2, on a friendship level. Of course by the time you have a serious relationship, you have to talk about your feelings to your spouse, but that's a little different, and still not pouring out your emotions or anything like that.
    It's all going to depend on the situation. For example, a girl I recently dated...we talked about anything and everything because we were that comfortable with each other. So it will be different for everyone as the variables in each relationship are different.

  12. Quote Originally Posted by Conagher View Post
    Why does this falsehood get perpetuated.I was talking to my best friends girl today about this.One of her complaints about him is that he is to sentimental and talks to much about the past.She just wants light conversation and to live for the moment.
    She says she has no regrets for anything she has done in the past,right or wrong.Most women I know are the same way.


    As apposed to the girl I'm dating...


    I'm a typical guy and sex is on my mind quite a bit and hey, she's pretty damn hot. But she wants the deep conversation to know I'm just not in it for the sex and that I like her for "her".

    That goes without saying... It's not like we're having sex even 25% of the time we hang out. If it was sex 90% of the time and if 9% of the rest was talking her into sex and 1% telling her why I have to leave after. She'd have a point.


    In short - women are nuts

  13. Quote Originally Posted by Jayhawkk View Post
    She reached her goal and now its time to move on to another one or when he opened up he REALLY opened up and she wasn't prepared for that...
    Bingo!

  14. Quote Originally Posted by Jayhawkk View Post
    She reached her goal and now its time to move on to another one or when he opened up he REALLY opened up and she wasn't prepared for that...
    I think you are right.She called it quits with him over the weekend.Did not find this out until yesterday.I asked her if it would effect our working relationship,she said know.She seems sincere.

  15. Quote Originally Posted by TheDarkHalf View Post
    It's all going to depend on the situation. For example, a girl I recently dated...we talked about anything and everything because we were that comfortable with each other. So it will be different for everyone as the variables in each relationship are different.
    You're right, i have a fiance and we can talk about anything, and have deep conversations. There still is a difference in how women want to talk and how men talk.

    For example, women want you to listen, and they want to listen. That's why they ask why, because they just want you to talk to them. Where men aren't generally as good "listeners".

  16. Quote Originally Posted by Killerkanadia View Post
    You're right, i have a fiance and we can talk about anything, and have deep conversations. There still is a difference in how women want to talk and how men talk.

    For example, women want you to listen, and they want to listen. That's why they ask why, because they just want you to talk to them. Where men aren't generally as good "listeners".
    Agreed. Communication is definitely a two-way road...but as we say in this forum all the time..."you gotta find what works best for you" (and in this case for you and your significant other)

  17. There's a time and place for everything

  18. That's how you and i wound up with kids.

  19. Perhaps I am the odd female than, I work 60-80 hours a week, school,( 2nd degree) and family/friends... last thing I want to do is talk about things and see what we are.... I tell you single is better I come and go as I please, do what I want and make more money than most couples....LOL

    TC
    RIP Ryan, :(

  20. Quote Originally Posted by toughchick401 View Post
    Perhaps I am the odd female than, I work 60-80 hours a week, school,( 2nd degree) and family/friends... last thing I want to do is talk about things and see what we are.... I tell you single is better I come and go as I please, do what I want and make more money than most couples....LOL

    TC
    you are tall with nice calfs . . I like that . . . being single loses it's shine as you get older TC . . . call up Vader when you get lonely

  21. I don't think women know what they want lol

  22. Quote Originally Posted by JLT View Post
    I don't think women know what they want lol
    FTW!

  23. Quote Originally Posted by GearedVader View Post
    you are tall with nice calfs . . I like that . . . being single loses it's shine as you get older TC . . . call up Vader when you get lonely

    Thanks anyway, but I don't see that happening, I love my freedom, if I want children I can adopt or have a child through invetro.... Really no need for the headache...

    TC
    RIP Ryan, :(

  24. I have good genes if you're interested.

  25. Quote Originally Posted by Killerkanadia View Post
    I have good genes if you're interested.
    LOL!
  26. Update


    Friend and his girlfriend made up,but now that she knows that she has the upperhand in the relationship,she is playing mind games with him.She told me yesterday she was going to dye her hair blonde for the first time because I am partial to blondes and in her words,"it will make him flip out".
    She called me late last night while she was on her way to spend the wekend with my friend.She created a work situation and wants me to go in today to fix it.She told me to call her when I had it resolved.We had a previous agreement that I do not call her on the weekends,especially when she is spending the weekend with my friend.
    She also told me that wherever she goes jobwise,she is taking me with her.
    I am in a really bad spot here and am either going to lose my friend or my job or both.Not really sure how to handle this situation.

  27. Quote Originally Posted by Conagher View Post
    Friend and his girlfriend made up,but now that she knows that she has the upperhand in the relationship,she is playing mind games with him.She told me yesterday she was going to dye her hair blonde for the first time because I am partial to blondes and in her words,"it will make him flip out".
    She called me late last night while she was on her way to spend the wekend with my friend.She created a work situation and wants me to go in today to fix it.She told me to call her when I had it resolved.We had a previous agreement that I do not call her on the weekends,especially when she is spending the weekend with my friend.
    She also told me that wherever she goes jobwise,she is taking me with her.
    I am in a really bad spot here and am either going to lose my friend or my job or both.Not really sure how to handle this situation.
    Just keep your job and be her friend. I know it's tough....BUT MAN UP. Either she'll realize she made a mistake....or she wont. Keep your options open and play the field...but don't lock yourself down anytime soon.

  28. It's not conversation that she wants to be deep... just sayin'

  29. It definitely depends on the people involved in the conversation.

    I have no interest in and refuse to date stupid women. I would rather have an average looking intelligent woman than a hot moron any day.

    It all depends on what you're looking for from that woman.

  30. Quote Originally Posted by pool_shark View Post
    I have no interest in and refuse to date stupid women. I would rather have an average looking intelligent woman than a hot moron any day.
    Totally agreed, but its awesome when you can have both
    (and I dont mean one of each.....damn, that wouldnt be too bad either....)
  31. UKStrength
    UKStrength's Avatar

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDarkHalf View Post
    Agreed. Communication is definitely a two-way road...but as we say in this forum all the time..."you gotta find what works best for you" (and in this case for you and your significant other)
    Quote Originally Posted by TheDarkHalf View Post
    It's all going to depend on the situation. For example, a girl I recently dated...we talked about anything and everything because we were that comfortable with each other. So it will be different for everyone as the variables in each relationship are different.
    I think these are the best posts here

    There's a BIG difference between deep conversation and dwelling on the past, and I agree, you should have no regrets, everything is a learning experience.

    Every woman you're with will want more or less emotional involvement from the their date/partner depending on their past experiences and what they want from the relationship.

    In my opinion the only thing you need to ask yourself is 'what do you want from the relationship?' if it's a bosom buddy, then go ahead and rant about your past to them but that's certainly not attractive to most women. Most just want a normal chap who can generate 'interesting' discussion with them and who listen to what they are saying.

  32. Quote Originally Posted by Conagher View Post
    Friend and his girlfriend made up,but now that she knows that she has the upperhand in the relationship,she is playing mind games with him.She told me yesterday she was going to dye her hair blonde for the first time because I am partial to blondes and in her words,"it will make him flip out".

    Remember this the next time some nazi femenist tells you the world needs a female president.

  33. Makes my head hurt trying to follow it....I say run...keep the job and thats it, who needs all this senseless drama.....that's my 2 cents..

    good luck

    TC
    RIP Ryan, :(

  34. Quote Originally Posted by UKStrength View Post
    I think these are the best posts here

    There's a BIG difference between deep conversation and dwelling on the past, and I agree, you should have no regrets, everything is a learning experience.

    Every woman you're with will want more or less emotional involvement from the their date/partner depending on their past experiences and what they want from the relationship.

    In my opinion the only thing you need to ask yourself is 'what do you want from the relationship?' if it's a bosom buddy, then go ahead and rant about your past to them but that's certainly not attractive to most women. Most just want a normal chap who can generate 'interesting' discussion with them and who listen to what they are saying.
    Haha well i'll be damned....thanks UK!

  35. Lots of good points!
    doing my own thang!

  36. Quote Originally Posted by toughchick401 View Post
    Makes my head hurt trying to follow it....I say run...keep the job and thats it, who needs all this senseless drama.....that's my 2 cents..

    good luck

    TC
    Keeping my job is what I am trying to achieve here.My fear is that if I don`t play her game,she will get angry and find a reason to fire me.This girl is bouncing all over the place.

  37. Quote Originally Posted by TheDarkHalf View Post
    Just keep your job and be her friend. I know it's tough....BUT MAN UP. Either she'll realize she made a mistake....or she wont. Keep your options open and play the field...but don't lock yourself down anytime soon.
    Trying real hard to do just that.Starting to get the impression she wants to take it beyond the friendship stage.Problem is,if she gets petty because I do not respond to her advances,she wields enough influence with regional management she could probably fire me with out any justification.

  38. Quote Originally Posted by Conagher View Post
    Keeping my job is what I am trying to achieve here.My fear is that if I don`t play her game,she will get angry and find a reason to fire me.This girl is bouncing all over the place.


    Take it higher if your concerned about your job, no way to live, go to her boss with some proof of course....always cover your Butt good luck.sounds like she is a little tapped..

    TC
    RIP Ryan, :(

  39. Quote Originally Posted by Conagher View Post
    Trying real hard to do just that.Starting to get the impression she wants to take it beyond the friendship stage.Problem is,if she gets petty because I do not respond to her advances,she wields enough influence with regional management she could probably fire me with out any justification.
    Well just don't take any first steps. Make her make all the moves. If she really wants you, she will. If she doesn't, than she won't. And if you're not into her....just tell her that she's in "The Friend Zone"...works for me every time.

    And like TC said....if it's that big of an issue go up the chain of command so long as you talk to her about it first. I know it sucks....but upper management won't like the fact that you didn't take it up with her before going over her head.

  40. its no myth that women want deep penatration
  

  
 

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