What should I do? Need advice...

DmitryWI

DmitryWI

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There's a girl I know for few years. Lately she started acting weird, very aggressive, gets pissed off very easily. We got into fight two days ago for no ****ing reason, she sounded completely insane. Then she called me last night and it was the same story.
Few friends of hers mentioned few times that she started doing drugs, I didn't believe them, but I just talked to someone who I could trust and he told me the same story.
Never in my life I had to deal with drug addicts, so I completely lost. I love her and care about her very much and I can't see her like that, but I am clueless of what can I do?
Advise please.
 
suncloud

suncloud

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tell her to get into recovery - life will go downhill quick, and as soon as she bankrupts herself, she'll either hit rock bottom, or end up working the streets. if you or her family (think intervention) can prevent this from happening, you're doing a great thing. however, be prepared for her not being keen on you helping her recover.... you may loose a friend forever, but IMO she'll be lost to you anyways if you keep letting her fall. best case scenario you may save her life, even though she may never thank you for it. IMO at least.
 
coldseed

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Since you have known her for years, you should obviously have a good rapport with her and be able to get through to her. Be the good friend that you are to her and express how much you care about her well being.

Good luck.
 
DmitryWI

DmitryWI

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I could never get through her even when she wasn't on drugs (think the most stubborn person you ever met). I could confront her but I already know how that conversation will go and she will tell me to buzz off and she has no problems and it's not my business.
I'm best friends with her cousin and cousins husband, pretty good friends with her older sister, know her mom very well. I think they are all clueless, I had no idea myself until recent events.
Should I tell them? If I tell her relatives, she's gonna flip on me I can't even imagine how. The problem is I have no hard evidence and I can't confront her if I'm not 100% sure myself. ?????????????????????????????
 
DmitryWI

DmitryWI

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Have no clue, since I know nothing about drugs. My friend who told me about it said she had some kind of balls and pills. She lost I would guess 15-20 pounds in the last month and a half, she looks good though, I would never suspect she does drugs, except for her anger and irrational behavior.
 
DmitryWI

DmitryWI

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I really hope it's not meth, there is no coming back from it... ****!
 
suncloud

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hrm. usually you can tell drugs from the bizarrely dilated pupils. i assume its heroin from the description. pills are the oxycontin, percocet etc, and the ball is the highly illegal stuff - black tar for example. hopefully she's not on a bunch of stuff - uppers, opiates and the ball is another item.

the mood swings usually are from running out, being close to running out, etc, like multiple panic attacks.

i wish you the best, cause if you guess wrong it really sucks. look for track marks ,note the dilated pupils, and make your decision. heroin and the prescription version can also be smoked, so pupils are the most visible sign all across the board.

anyways man, if there's ever anything i can do to help, you know how to reach me.
 

slacker86

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suggest that she gets some help, maybe inform family if she starts getting into dangerous or really worrysome behavior. You really cant force someone into rehab they have to want to quit. Sometimes those intervention circles where she comes in and her family and friends are all there and discuss their feelings are good sometimes not so good. Either way if u feel you have to stand in and she will not be happy you may lose her as a friend for a while or maybe even permanently. I would suggest you find out the drugs though as addiction can be very hard with prolonged use of certain chemicals.
 
suncloud

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yeah, its hard to convince someone they need to straighten up before it gets worse. only she will make that decision, and its not yours to make - the only thing you can do is help influence that decision.
 
DmitryWI

DmitryWI

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anyways man, if there's ever anything i can do to help, you know how to reach me.
Yea, thanks, man, for that.
I'm not sure when I'm gonna see her again after last night. She started texting stupid **** and nonsense so I asked her why she's acting weird and all crazy, she called me right away and started yelling that I'm being disrespectful to her and then hung up. Called me minute later yelled some more and hung up again. I was hoping she'd call me or text me today, but I haven't heard from her. This is so not her, I can't recognize this person anymore.
Her cousin called me though and said she had a very weird conversation with her and she was very pissed at me but couldn't explain why.
Damn it, my heart is bleeding for her, Idk what to do...
 
DmitryWI

DmitryWI

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Ok, here's few options I came up with. Tell me what you think.
Option 1
Leave a voice message or text her. That way I know she's gonna at the very least listen what I want to say to her without interrupting me or arguing.
Option 2
Confront her in person and if she's not gonna listen, threaten her to go to her mom and tell her everything. (I can't even imagine how mad she's gonna get).
Option 3
Go straight to her mom and talk to her. The only problem is I don't have any hard evidence but she trusts me and I think she'll listen to me either way.
Option 4
Write anonymous letter to her mom to keep my ass out of it.
Option 5
It's non of my business and I should do nothing. She's adult with a free will...
 
gamer2be08

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Your in a tricky situation mate.. And if she is on drugs, the only way to solve the problem I believe is to be as harsh as possible. To be as unforgiving and relentless towards her problem as you can be. Better for her to hate you during her time of withdrawal and after than to have her life torn to pieces by the day. If you truly care for her, you will do what you can to stop this, even if it hurts y'all's relationship. Talking to the person does not work most of the time as I know from first hand experience. She has to be confined with haste before she has been on for too long to truly come off of the narcotics.. Be rough, tough and relentless, it is going to be hard for you, but it must be done...
 
toughchick401

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You care so i feel like you want to do something, i dont know the answer but use your best judgement and you will know what is right...:) Anything you decide is right because your doing it with the best intentions....

TC
 
DmitryWI

DmitryWI

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Thank you, guys, for your help.
I got together with her sister last night and told her everything. She then went to her place and confronted her. And I was very surprised, she didn't deny nor was she mad at me for telling. So hopefully she'll be alright...
 
suncloud

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i hope so my brotha, and you caught it before some long term damage could happen. you did the right thing.
 

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