Rough Morning

[CrazyChemist]

My wife and I are both scientists and we were at the same conference from Wednesday to Friday. We got home Friday, fed the cats, etc., then left for another conference which we got home from Saturday at 11pm.

Sunday we noticed that one of the cats was not her "usual self". She was walking funny, whimpering, not eating or drinking. I thought she had just missed us, maybe was having an off day.... anyway, we take her to the vet this morning and long story short they want to do an invasive surgery on her ear canal for ~$4500 (with MRIs, Xrays, post-op, etc.).

My wife is a wreck. I always thought if the cat was in pain and it was going to cost more than ~$1500 I'd just put the cat down. Now I'm trying to rationalize dropping more money than is in my bank account right now and there is still a chance the surgery won't work. How asinine is it to spend that much on surgery for a cat? I'm feeling conflicted. Anyone got words of advice?

 

[SilentBob187]

About a year ago we had to put one of our cats down. Apparently there were some serious complications in his digestive tract. I don't remember if it was kidneys or what. But it was one of those things where operating wouldn't really ensure quality of life afterward for the guy. As much as it hurt, we opted to put him down. He'd already been through a week or longer of excruciating pain and the vets couldn't assure us of anything.

We took one of ours in yesterday for an abscessed tooth. We have to take her back on Friday to more than likely have the tooth removed. The first visit was 150 and I have no idea what the next one will be.

It's one of those things where I'm in the same boat as you. It's easy enough to tell yourself "it's just a pet," or "if it's more than X," until those situations actually arise.

I wish you best.

 

[EasyEJL]

How old is the cat?

 

[CrazyChemist]

How old is the cat?

Shes just a baby. We got her about a year ago and she was 3 months old, a rescue.

I appreciate your empathy Silentbob but it'd almost be better if the situation were inoperable, like your case. The fact is that for $4500 (the bottom end of the estimate I've come to find after talking to the vet, now it could be as much as $7000+) the cat would probably be fine. If I do the surgery, she'll probably make a complete recovery and live a normal, healthy, happy lifespan.

Problem is, I just got married end of May, I have a mortgage, my wife and I are both graduate students in the sciences currently making $18,000/yr. and the cost of the surgery could quickly add up to approximately 6 months of pay. I just don't have it and if I borrow it at this point in my life I could get myself into real financial trouble.

How do you put a price on a pet you love but at the same time how do you jeopardize your future financial security on a risky surgery for a cat? If they don't get the whole tumor it could grow back in 8 months and then I'd be out the cash and in the same boat as I am now.

 

[EasyEJL]

I was hoping it was older, at least that makes it easier a little to put em to sleep. but thats still what i'd do anyhow, that same 4500 put into a 401 today would be over a years worth of your retirement living money 40 years from now. you can get another rescue cat.

 

[jim623]

Registered cat maybe, a rescue, I'd have to say no. That's way too much money.

 

[ninjarider45]

As hard as it is I'd say the best thing is to put it down. I ran into this exact situation just 2 weeks ago with our cat. She ate a hair tie which contained metal and couldn't eat or keep anything down. Surgery was $3500 which on top of the $900 we already spent to keep her there overnight was way to much.

The vet did give us an other option though. They said that if we relinquished ownership of the cat they would do the operation and if it was a success they'd give it to another family. Kinda comforting at the very least. We took that route and the operation was a success; but our cat never recovered so they put her down about a week ago. Sad but it might have been better for us to just put her down she apparently suffered for a little while not being able to eat anything.

I would suggest just putting her down it'll be better then running the risk of the tumor coming back or of the cat suffering after surgery for instance.

 

[CrazyChemist]

Thanks for the support guys. For me it'd be a downer but I'd get by. My wife has been crying since last night and seriously has not stopped. Her eyes are practically swollen shut. She didn't cry this much when her grandfather died and this cat might still make it. Its really my wife I'm worried about. Truth is, I'd probably put it on a credit card if it'd make her happy. It'll take me an eternity to pay it off.

 

[Chucke]

Hey CrazyChemist,

It's possible that your wife is deeply upset about something else and this situation has simply brought that something else a little closer to the surface. Maybe try exploring the loss of her grandfather (or some other loss) with her a bit.

Of course keep in mind while talking to her that her feelings are subjective and therefore should be validated. If it really is just about the cat then that's okay...

Also - ask yourself (and your wife) if spending this much money on the cat is being a good steward with your money.

Just my two cents. I hope things get better.

 

[pmiller383]

Well I can't offer any financial advice for your situation but I can definitely relate to you right now. One of my parents cats who they have had since I was in my early teens just developed a tumor on her salivary gland which is preventing her from being able to eat or drink water. The tumor itself may or may not be cancerous but at this point we have decided to get her put to sleep regardless because we don't not want to have to put her through the tests and surgeries that may be needed with the removal of the tumor. The cat itself is very skid-dish and had been abused before we adopted her so she does not handle other people well, let alone being away from home. Even if the surgery was a success she would have to have a feeding tube, medications, and constant checkups for the rest of her life. At this point I would have no problem spending the money to keep her alive even if it was just for a year or two, but the reason we are not is because of the quality of life that she would have after. What I think you have to do is look at the personality of your cat and how they will handle the operations and complications that may follow. If you think your cat will be able to handle the experience without trauma then you should consider how the operations will affect your ability to care for her financially as well as your family. I hope everything works out in your situation but personally I find solace in knowing that after tomorrow morning my cat will not have to suffer with any discomfort that may have arisen from the situation.

 

[mmowry]

As tough as it is, putting down the cat will be easier than the marital problems that may very well stem from having no emergency money or fun money for that matter.

Also you need to get your wifes backing on this so that later on, if shes still feeling grief, you wont become the target of her pain.

Best of luck.

 

[jacked475]

I would contact the local ASPCA. They have hookups with clinics/or have in-house surgeons who can do the same procedure for fraction of the cost.

 

[Zero V]

Sorry to hear it man, I have a dog who has been with me since I was in middleschool(her names Ginger) and its starting to look like its "that time" for her(she is about 12-13 years old) and its been bothering me. We lost her partner about 4 years ago for some random reason he got sick, and died.

It may suck, but even though old Furby is buried in teh backyard, and we all miss him. We have to limit ourselves to how much we put into a pet. Even though they can be just like kids to some of us, and we would risk our lives to save them(hey if my dogs in a fire I am going in after her). But financially, its hard especially when they say "Well she SHOULD recover, or they COULD this, or POSSIBLY that." etc.

Sorry your cat is ill and in pain. But putting it down like all the above posts say seems the best path.

 

[CrazyChemist]

Thanks everyone - i appreciate the support. The wife and I went to visit her last night and she couldnt walk or stand and could make it to the litter box. I was ready to call it but the vet recommended waiting another 24 hours after a shot of cortisone. We'll go back today and if its not looking any better I think we're going to have to say goodbye. Thanks again to everyone.

 

[DmitryWI]

Sorry to hear that, but I think you are making right decision. It's way too much money if you don't have any right now.

 

[jim623]

Hey, check the wildlife foundation, sometimes they'll do things like this for rescues at a reduced rate.

 

[CrazyChemist]

i'll look into that. now the vet is saying it might be something else. idk - its alreayd up to $1000 for the past 4 days in the pet ICU. She's a little better. We're going to go back around 6pm and if she isnt well enough to come home......