Chicken Soup For The Beer Drinker

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    Chicken Soup For The Beer Drinker


    The last one is hilarious!!


    "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed.
    Then
    I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all
    of
    their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out
    of
    work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is
    better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
    selfish
    and worry about my liver."

    ~ Jack Handy

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
    morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "

    ~Frank Sinatra

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

    ~ Henny Youngman

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not"

    ~ Stephen Wright

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
    fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
    Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

    ~ Brian O'Rourke

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

    ~ Benjamin Franklin

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
    beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
    wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

    ~ Dave Barry

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!

    ~ "Unknown"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Remember "I"! before "E", except in Budweiser.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One
    afternoon at Cheers, Cliff was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his
    buddy
    Norm. Here's how it went:

    "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as
    fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
    slowest
    and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
    selection
    is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of
    the
    whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest
    members.
    In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
    slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills
    brain
    cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells
    first.
    In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
    cells,
    making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. ! That's why you
    always feel smarter after a few beers."

  2. The True Warrior is one who conquers oneself
    hamper19's Avatar
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    I like this one

    "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

    ~ Henny Youngman


    thats funny as hell

    h19

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