Sex-Starved Marriages - Women Struggle to Cope With Spouses' Low Sex Drives
- 01-08-2004, 08:42 AM
Sex-Starved Marriages - Women Struggle to Cope With Spouses' Low Sex Drives
Low sexual desire in men is America's best kept secret. The MAIN cause of low sexual drive in men is the nagging and criticism from the wife which turns men OFF -- they would rather masturbate. http://abcnews.go.com/sections/2020/...age030926.html
What's the old saying? Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone. Now we know that if you nag your man - you sleep alone.
If you are a woman who was successful in catching a man you have another reason not to nag him: In America today there are about TWICE as many single women as men - 18 million single men to 28 million single women in the "over 35" age bracket. In other words, you have serious competition if you find yourself in the market for a new man.
And it's not cheap either. Rachel Greenwald, the author of "Dating and mating for over-35s" sponsors seminars for single women says:
'It does cost money to find a husband,' she says. Greenwald says those following her method must create a separate 'find a husband' bank account. She recommends putting 10 per cent, or perhaps even 20 per cent, of total income into it. This will pay for new clothes, gifts, a hairdo, a computer for internet dating... the list is endless.
(I guess you could just get naked. That always attracts a man's attention. haha)
Men... If you feel your spouse is nagging too much you may consider yourself lucky after you take a look at some of the men throughout history who have lost their HEADS to women... John the Baptist wasn't the only one. http://www.sepulchritude.com/chapelp...ete/index.html
- 01-08-2004, 11:37 AM
But it begs the question, what is the root cause of the nagging and unhappiness?
I think that in many cases, it's the stress of our busy lives today, just sucking the energy out of us. Employers continually seek to push more work at us, they feel that since they're paying us, they own us.
We want to be good parents to our children, so we try to spend time with them daily and help with homework. Then there's their sports and activities.......
And of course all of us here are into weight lifting. That doesn't leave much time (or energy) left for quality time with our spouses. Especially considering we cut corners with our sleep. Not only do I get cranky with low sleep levels, I get headaches as well.
Many people are overweight from regular consumption of fast foods and sedentary jobs, and so are self conscious about taking their clothes off........ they don't feel sexy like maybe they used to.... especially after having 2 or more kids.
And last, but certainly not least, there's at least some degree of monotony in monogomy.
When you think about how it was when you first really connected sexually with someone, you put a lot of effort into that relationship. Your life was probably a LOT less structured and simpler then, and there was more time and energy to devote to romance and high intensity sex.
We have an epidemic of overstructure and oversaturation in our daily lives. I realized this a few years ago, and I fight to try to do less on most days. Not because I'm lazy mind you, but because I can't stand it when every day of my life is so structured. I get REALLY annoyed now when it's like that. Not to make it an excuse for procrastination, but I'd rather sacrifice quantity of life for quality of life.
- 01-08-2004, 03:27 PM
Heck yeah PC-1 I know what you mean, I feel like I have no time to enjoy life anymore and I'm not even 30 and have no kids. I won't even get to watch the Play-Offs on Saturday cause I work and I'm also taking an intense winter course so I have to study my ass of, that's why I've been missing from the board.
I also believe many women are too freakin demanding, at least the ones I've met. I could never marry a high maintenance chick.
01-08-2004, 05:07 PM
Amen PC1. I think it works both ways in a marriage. Whichever spouse is the least happy will inadvertantly drag the happier one down and kahblooey..no sex drive. All in all I think men are better at finding happiness sooner in life than women, perhaps because we are simpler and less hormonally tortured.
01-08-2004, 06:42 PM
Iron Warrior........ best of luck to you with your course work. I just finished a class this Fall, it's tough to study after putting in a full day of work..... very easy to get run down.
Bioman........ also very true. Maybe we are simpler to please, a few toys, a wife with a nice rack and tight ass..... who could ask for more? And yeah, some women really do suffer badly from the estrogen roller coaster each month. I'm a lucky guy, my wife is really happy-go lucky, almost always in a good mood. For years, her sister, who is also a sexy chick, really struggled to get her monthly cycles under control. Usually, she was a sweetheart, but for several days each month, a maniacal bitch on the warpath. She knew it, couldn't stand it herself, but was powerless to stop it. It's not as if it's a matter of self control afterall.
She ended up seeing a doctor and wished she did years earlier (as did her husband, ha). Anyway, there is help for women like this, but they have to be proactive about it.
God help the poor bastard who latches onto one of these beauties until they do though
The one piece of advice I wish I could give to every young couple who are contemplating getting married is this: If you have even the slightest doubt in your mind about getting married..... DON'T. You have to be true to yourself. You HAVE to be able to say to yourself "This is the ONE". Don't let life's circumstances back you into a corner. Marriage is a continual work in progress. If the chemistry between two people is right, everything else can be worked out to the satisfaction of both. If you have doubts before getting married, they will be greatly amplified and will manifest themselves at every turn in life after you've said "I do". The emotional and financial toll you will bring upon yourself, your ex-wife, and your children will scar all of you for the rest of your lives. 1 out of 2 marriages today end up in divorce, and if you have doubts beforehand, you can count on being a divorce statistic. It really is ironic that we have education and training for just about everything else in life, yet we have bitter little in this most important aspect of our lives.
I knew 2 friends who got married and to her shock and dismay, her husband didn't want any children. They ended up divorcing eventually of course. How could they not discuss something so basic beforehand? Yet most all of us who are at least 40 something know couples like this.
I'm getting off topic and will stop now. But really I think it's the most important thing any of you younger guys need to absorb and apply in your lives.
01-08-2004, 11:17 PM
As a happily married man, I can say you're pretty much on the money PC.
01-09-2004, 08:37 PM
Happily married here as well. I cant believe that people wouldnt talk about having children before getting married, heck my wife and I even set up weight limits for eachother (she goes over 135 and she's out of here j/k).
I've known other married couples who have a lot of nagging and most of it comes from the guy not doing, or wanting to do, anything around the house. Just load the dishwasher and take out the garbage once in while man. I'm not trying to put it all on the guy but most of the time couples lose passion and then lose appreciation for eachother. I think every guy should do a cycle of test just to get that sex drive back and they may realize that they still love thier wife and if that doesnt do it maybe they should call it quits. There aint nothin worse than being more roomates than married.
01-14-2004, 04:31 PM
LOL... if you get married there is at least a 50% chance it will end in divorce and if you have kid a 40 TO 1 CHANCE the man will lose physical custody and have to pay at least 1/3 of his income in child support.
DONT ****ING GET MARRIED. ONLY THE WOMAN BENEFITS.
01-17-2004, 04:29 PM
Yep, that's the way I look at it. I honestly wouldn't get married w/out a prenuptual agreement.Originally Posted by Milo Hobgoblin
01-19-2004, 02:34 PM
This year it will be ten years for my wife and I. I love her more now than ever, she has been there for me through some pretty rough times and never has she done anything less than support me fully in any venture I have undergone.
The way you guys talk it is all about the financial aspect, thats sad that money takes precedence over your woman.
Most marriages end because the couple doesnt know eachother when they get married or are way too young to know what they want in life. I was past my mid 20's and I lived with my wife for over two years before I got married.
I have benefited greatly from my marriage and wouldn't give it up for anything.
01-19-2004, 02:55 PM
It's pretty obvious anyone that isn't married and has already thought about how she will benefit from the divorce financially has not found the right woman. I started dating my wife when I was 18 and we started living together a year or so later. 4 years into it we decided to call it quits because of working opposite shifts I guess we just grew apart. 2 years after that we got back together and get closer everyday. We got married this Summer and it has been the best decision I have ever made. When you find someone that is not only a good lover but your best friend maybe your outlook on marriage will change.
01-19-2004, 03:38 PM
Congratulations NPursuit. Glad to hear that. That's what it's all about and unfortunately, not everyone is so fortunate as you and I, and several other guys here.
01-21-2004, 03:44 PM
01-22-2004, 03:26 AM
If my memory serves me correctly, I have seen studies that show women tend to be happier single, and men happier married. The studies go against the big stereotype(which I myself have observed) of women wanting to get married and the men putting off marriage. Just thought I would throw this in.
01-31-2004, 01:30 PM
yes the nagging does destroy sex drive
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