i'm seriously depressed
- 03-12-2009, 06:29 PM
i'm seriously depressed
I just need to vent
I'm so fed up right now. I feel like my life is one big disappointment. I have a bunch issues ranging from my health to my normal life.
I recently found out i have some medical issues. low testosterone, hypoglycemic/at risk for diabetes, possibly hypothyroid,gyno, etc.... I was also fat before and i managed to lose the weight. Even though i lost the weight i still look like crap, i have absolutely no muscles and i'm all fat and bone(skinnyfat). Its also been hell since i lost the weight , i basically feel like i'm living in starvation. My metabolism is slow and i'm craving food all day long because i never can eat enough without going over my calories,the weird thing is i was never hungry while dieting down.... I feel weak cold and lethargic all day, i also have completely lost my sex drive in the past year or two..
My college progress is also totally screwed up. Some bad things happened to me when i was 19(wasnt in my control) and cause of that i lost out on about two years of school. So now i should have graduated already but i'm only in my second year.
I have no friends to hang out with and obviously no girlfriend(lol), so my day to day life is as boring as it gets and i never have anything good to look forward to, ever. The funny thing is i have normal personality and people generally think i'm a cool peron upon meeting me. However i dont allow myself to become close to anyone because its tough for me to go out and have good times when i'm so depressed all the time. Bars and clubs rave hell on my hearing so i have to avoid those places also...
it sucks living like this, i feel like crap, have not accomplished crap, and to top it off i look like crap...
i hate to post this depressing stuff in here but i just needed to vent. I dont open up this much to people in real life because people naturally judge each other. The moment you tell someone your issues they either dont want to hear it or it automatically labels you as a loser...
- 03-12-2009, 06:46 PM
Improve what you have control over. Meet people, get into the gym, and focus on school.
Being depressed sucks, but allowing yourself to stay in it longer because of yourself isn't needed.
I'm sure most here have had PCT depression, and the only thing to do in either case is just keep yourself busy and do the best to drag yourself, kicking and screaming, out of it.
03-12-2009, 07:06 PM
Yep I know how it goes, I'm still in school due to messing up a little and transferring and have some weird health issues myself... also didn't meet anyone at the new place cause I was with a girl who took a lot of my time when I first came here so I've been through all that. I will be 25 when I graduate college. Lots of my friends from high school have houses and real jobs now, I've gotten back in touch with a lot of them and always have people to hang out with now. Still feels like crap to be too old to still be going to school though. You just have to make it into a good thing. I've used my discontent with my current situation to stop myself from ****ing up further in school and motivate myself to work harder, and I've fixed my diet and worked out hard nearly every day for so long that I'm in better shape than anyone I know. One of my friends mopes all the time, nobody likes him anymore and he doesn't get invited anywhere anymore. Don't whine about your situation, just fix it and keep it to yourself. If people want to know about your life they will ask. Feeling sorry for yourself will get you nowhere, make it a conscious habit to ask yourself what you can do RIGHT NOW to make things better either now or in the future every time you want to mope. Good luck.
03-12-2009, 07:08 PM
Concerning your medical issues, leave that up to your doctors to sort out. If it turns out that you can personally do things to turn these issues around than do them. You are far too young to be this unhealthy. I don't say this to condemn you, I say this in the hopes that you don't have to kiss your 60's goodbye.
As far as college goes, life is full of setbacks, welcome to the world, it is hard, unfair, and it can be a joyless, cold, place. Some Eastern philosophies/religions declare that one cannot look to the outside world for his happiness, and that happiness can only be found inside of the person. In the West Christian tradition holds that happiness can only be found in God. I am not here to argue which one is right or wrong, only to point out the commonality in these belief systems: Happiness can never be determined by your circumstances. If your happiness is circumstance based then prepare to have a roller coaster of happiness/depression, and I am here to tell you that there will be more depression than happiness.
I am not going to get into the things that I have gone through, the rough patches, this isn't about me. Just be assured that I am not talking out of my ass, I have been on the recieving end of some serious adversity. I went through the depression(s), and I know how tough it is.
You need to begin looking to something larger than your current experiences.
03-12-2009, 07:26 PM
Hey man, life is rough. The inportant thing is to address the issues that you can control. Luckily, things like low Test can fixed (and should be to prevent any further damage).
We all can help with your diet/fitness routine, and can assist you with goals. Although, it is no replacement for real-life contact, we can be a support system for you if needed.
03-12-2009, 07:52 PM
Small goals towards a large one should help you out.
Ive never been "depressed", but who knows, im stubborn and i dont want to admit that to be part of "that group".
Its all about looking towards the future, ive thought of suicide but the fact that i made small steps toward a goal helped me a ton.
Fast forward to now, im a proud dad of a wonderful little boy, great family and couldnt be happier. I too was fat and took steps to change the way i looked
03-12-2009, 08:22 PM
Hang in there man. I think we all go through rough times. I have always found that shortly after my absolute worst depressions and horrible times usually comes my best. It always seems like life is a series of waves and as long as you go with them you will never be up or down to long. Right now you are in a rough spot because you are in a very negative place. It will be hard to go out and meet new people right off the bat. You need to start small and rebuild your confidence one step at a time. Smile at people and say hi when they pass you bye, eventually start small talk with them, then find people you really connect with and want to build friendships with and do it.
03-12-2009, 08:35 PM
Keep your head up Troy.
There has been alot of good advice thus far.
Let the doctors get your hormones, thyroid and so forth in check. Stay the course on your diet and exercise. Maybe post your current diet and see what the gurus here say about it.
Control what you can. Positive thinking can result in positive feelings. The mind is a powerfull SOB.
I dont know if you have faith, but prayer to my higher power always gets me through rough spells(and good times too). Your in my prayers as well.
Your in college, thats a positive thing. Look at it that way, alot of people are not fortunate enough to be able to go. Stay the course with school, it will pay off.
Stay positive. It helps.
03-12-2009, 09:39 PM
thanks for all the comments everyone. as lame as it sounds the users who have posted in this thread have been the only people i've communicated with all day, well besides saying hi to mom in the house.
I appreciate all the comments and suggestions.
I also believe in the fact that circumstances shouldnt make me depressed. But its so hard to feel normal when i have nothing good going for me. Throughout my life i've always had some BS that has always put me down, and the funny thing is i grew up pretty much a good kid. I never did drugs,smoked, i never even drunk liquor until i turned 21 last year.
One thing that i'm really working on is my health issues. But so far all the docs have let me down, i've seen several. They dont know whats causing my symptoms(i have a thread in the anti-aging section about that...) they also say that all my bloodwork looks "ok" even though i have raging symptoms...The only things that have been confirmed by bloods is my hypoglycemia and my super low testosterone ( 92 range(250-1100) )
Sometimes i go for walks in public just to try and clear my mind. I do make small talk with people just for ****s and giggles it actually can be pretty entertaining to chat with random people, lol. But like i said i never get close to anyone, on the facade i put on a happy face but in reality i'm a depressed dude with a ton of baggage. At this point i would love to have a girl or some guy friends but at this time thats not even possible, i'm a mess emotionally. I can also tell i have a social "need" inside of me, i guess thats why i'm attracted to reading on forums/blogs etc..
03-12-2009, 11:18 PM
man.. you don't have health 'problems' as such. Perhaps you're low on some hormones and crap fitness. But those things can be improved.
really good diet.
Hardcore workout routine at the gym
enough time for recovery.
Supplements here and there.
Time to fight back and beat the crap outta bad genetics and depression.
03-13-2009, 12:04 AM
Doctors wont help you with test replacement? 92 is super low and i know when my test is low i feel like crap.
03-13-2009, 12:08 AM
03-13-2009, 12:21 AM
Ive suffered from depression for years, and ive been prescribed different anti depressants, but out of everything man, guess what? EXERCISE was, has been, and always will be my anti depressant, who on here cant agree with me that exercising makes you feel like a million bucks. Go to the doctor, he will guide you, and get yourself into the gym, pay for a few PT sessions, and learn the routines and techniques to get yourself going again.
Make fitness something you do for the rest of your life man, your whole world will open up to yoo. Mine did.
03-13-2009, 12:33 AM
Im really sorry to hear about your delima my friend.its your self esteem that really stands out to me in this situation.get in to the gym my friend,get a routine in your daily life going.lack of excercise can bring on fatigue on a daily basis,until you change your life style.which in turn could also do wonders with your health.you seem like a really cool and down to earth fella,and i really want to see you make it.
03-13-2009, 08:43 AM
92 Test--------- Your nuts are screaming... START HERE.
All joking aside. That low of test could be causing alot of your symptoms.
Get a flipping doctor that will do something about it.
Keep us posted.
03-13-2009, 12:58 PM
i'm currently working with a good doc. I just did the bloodwork for him and i'm waiting to hear back from him at this point,he's not local to me so i guess it takes a bit longer. I'm hoping he can help me sort out some of these hormonal issues.
slick, i definetly plan on going back to the gym. One of the reasons i stopped was because i kept getting ammonia in my breath within minutes of doing cardio(yes i eat carbs). That situation dissuaded me from doing cardio....then i started lifting, and i made absoltulely zero gains in strength....those things coupled with all the other BS keeps me from having any motivation for the gym.
I definitely want to get back to working out, i'll probably start with some calisthenics. Pullups, pushups, situps, etc... and whatever other type of body weight exercises i can find. Once my testosterone is up the first place i'm going is the weight room
03-13-2009, 01:20 PM
For sure ...I had a good buddy who was an avid steroid user (he didn't know what he was doing though) he just stopped cold turkey one day...and his life turned to ****e in a manner of months. Hes been booked in to the psych ward multiple times for suicide attempts...because of total testosterone shutdown. HE is now on HRT(after Anti-d's...didn't work they way they though tthey would lol) but still in the PW for now ...although they say he is doing better.
I myself suffer from chronic depression. I find regular exercise and eating healthy play a big role in keeping me sane.
On a side note picking a woman that is not a gold-digging, tire-biting ,whore when you feel better is the right choice to make to keep you sane and happy, when you decide to date.
03-13-2009, 02:10 PM
03-13-2009, 02:21 PM
sometimes putting things in perspective helps. by no means are you the only person going through this. there's a guy on this forum who is 20, and has crohns disease, lupus, and a family history of diabetes. he lost 30 pounds this year when he was hospitalized with kidney failure.
i know it sucks, and nothing will change that, but there's always someone with a set of problems you wouldn't trade with.
as stated earlier, find a doctor who will put you on TRT and i guarantee your social anxiety and confidence issues will go away. keep on fighting brotha.
03-13-2009, 02:58 PM
Man suncloud, i have yet to see a post by you that wasnt truly genuine and thoughtfully expressed. Im getting used to seeing you around, and I wish there were more bro's like you around here man. Im repping you with my weak power not so you rep me back, but because from the day I've joined I have seen nothing but excellent post from you. Keep it up bro!
03-13-2009, 03:07 PM
03-13-2009, 04:21 PM
03-13-2009, 05:02 PM
03-13-2009, 05:47 PM
"If you dont like something, change it. if you can't change it, change the way you think of it."
Keep a positive attitude about everything in your life, and things will start to change for you.
Good luck and God bless
03-13-2009, 07:39 PM
Bruddas just hang in there. Depression is a thing of the mind, and it can be resisted no matter how gloom things are looking. Lemme throw out some of my current troubles.
Was jobless for 4 months(OWIES) financially ruinedededed for awhile.
Because of above it will take 2 years to recover financially, maybe 3.
Got extremely sick (ear, tooth,jaw, throat infection) for the last month.
Had to drop my classes because I missed so much do to sickness.
Car broke down(2002 civic EX, WTF)
My laptop just died today, permamentally....flipping sux more than you can beleive.
360 elite died a couple months ago.
I need dental work done BAAD, but have no money. A bad tooth is the reason for infections...
Lost alot of muscle and put on some fat due to stress, lack of food(no money), and no time for weights.
I have ZERO energy, period. No matter what, stims cant even get me going.
Bada bing bada boom baby!
I will leave out my woes from my Ex, and the other stuffs.
I say smile. Laugh it up man, you only live once. And I will not conform to the American societies ideals of everything being based off money. It can STFU. The devil himself seems to be in my finances and schooling. I have been in school for 3 years, and am technically only on year 2. Thanks to a girl screwing me up and my own stupidity.
Depression, nah. Look at it as a challenge. It is going though things like these that allow you to grow, to mature, to becme someone one, something, more than the average person. I have been going through hell. But you know what? I realize my child hood dream is coming true.
As a kid I wanted to be that guy people trusted, but who was still a lone wolf kinda guy, the one who was strong because of his past. Lookig back on the times I spent with my head in my hands and tears running down my face... I can see the growth given to me. These times are not to ruin my life, but to give me life. I watched the love of my life get married to another man in my church, less than a year after breaking up.... HAHA, sux for him
It sucks man, I will pray for each of you who listed issues. But hell, enjoy yourselfs. If someone points an AK47 at your face. Laugh, i mean, mess with their minds man, enjoy it. If your gona die, at least make it unique lol.
If you wanna talk or something PM me and I will even shoot you my #. I get calls at 2am, 4am from friends who need to talk. Live your life.
Eventually you get so tired of being down, you promise to always look up. Good peeps on this board, and some wise ones too. You got, in a sense, a family on here.
03-13-2009, 07:47 PM
[QUOTE=Zero V;1858817] Depression is a thing of the mindQUOTE]
Clinical depression is not though. It is related to either chemical or hormonal imbalances which gp's or therapists usually want treated with drugs. Your run of the mill, my life sucks i'm depressed though is a whole 'nuther ballgame. You have a good attitude about it though.
03-13-2009, 10:08 PM
i'm not clinically depressed, its just that my circumstances make me feel that way. I wouldn't even consider taking an anti-depressant no matter how ****ty i feel.
03-14-2009, 05:07 PM
03-14-2009, 06:28 PM
03-14-2009, 07:13 PM
Personally from my experience with doctors, it was chemical with me. There was nothing people could say to make things better, it was like having combo of dementia, mania, hystaria, all wrapped up in saddness and pain. I still dissagree to a certain exten of mass using SSRI's and other anti depressats. They are over used. And on top of that. You can alter your bodies state more than you think with your mind. In a sense you can restructure your mind, in a way that works with the design its given.
All things are possible. When I was in like 6th or 7th grade, I cried all the time because I realized my parents would die... even though that was years away, thats how bad I was off lol. Crazy stuff even worse than that happened...
I did mentally restructure myself many times, it cost me some memories, and portions of who I was, but today, cured is what I am. Not as sensitive or open as much though, but tougher mentally, and resiliant to trials. Reality is to some degree what you percieve it to be. If you can simply alter what reality is, as in fin a differant way to look at situatians, then you can control the world to a degree. Well, at least how you face it. All the most famuos and creative people in history were probably chemically imbalanced and epressed. The great writers, artists, inventors. It is the drive they have tht breaks the bouns of reality, an what is, that allows them to draw upon ideals and desire from otuside what is the norm. Plus, they are above normal people in a sense tht they dont follow society, they cant, it eats them up.
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