hooking up with friend's Ex just for Sex
- 02-28-2009, 01:02 AM
hooking up with friend's Ex just for Sex
This afternoon I was just flicking through facebook and I came across one of my friends' Ex.
Firstly, me and him were best friends 2 years ago but now we don't talk. His ex had a lot of mental issues and a slut background (according to him) and that's why they broke up. It's been over 18 months since they broke up and he's found a new girl.
Anyway, on facebook, I was looking at her pics and she's damn hot (blonde,brown eyes, slim) and Single. I haven't had sex for a few months now .
Question really is, if you were in my position, what would you do? would you hook up with her or would you refrain?...
- 02-28-2009, 01:10 AM
well it depends...if me and my friend left on bad terms then yea go ahead...but if you too just dont talk kuz it been awhile then no or i would ask for his permission...but thats me. its all up to you bro..i could live with it lol
- 02-28-2009, 01:10 AM
02-28-2009, 01:22 AM
Thanks man, I'm not sure about asking him for permission. May just be awkward ringing up and doing that since we haven't spoken so long.
02-28-2009, 01:25 AM
02-28-2009, 02:53 AM
02-28-2009, 02:57 AM
I would give head cases like that a wide berth - the type of **** they would pull would include getting themselves pregnant.
It looks like you have a high-speed net connection - stick to wacking off. You're hand will never argue.
02-28-2009, 08:30 AM
Well, you guys dont even speak anymore so that basically means you arent friends as far as Im concerned. And if you arent friends, then hey, shes fair game!
02-28-2009, 08:33 AM
"Once a Marine, always a Marine"
02-28-2009, 09:53 AM
Plenty of girls out there who just want to have fun why deal with a friends ex even if you don't talk to him anymore. Possible drama here so why bother. Girls are a dime a dozen
02-28-2009, 09:53 AM
02-28-2009, 10:12 AM
Douchy move, IMO, especially if there isn't anything that caused bad blood.
I haven't spoken to some of the people I would call good friends in 5 years or so. I still consider them friends, as in not enemies and not strangers.
Evolutionary Muse - Inspire to Evolve
Flawless Skin Couture - We give you the tools to make you Flawless
02-28-2009, 10:39 AM
Friend's ex's are an off limits thing for most guys but for various reasons. I personally think you have to weigh in on the whole situation
Some things to think about:
1. How long did they date
2. Who broke up with whom?
3. Have you spoke to him about it?
4. Is any possible fallout worth casual sex?
5. Is it a sex thing or are there real feelings?
I don't think it's a simple black and white issue in all cases but the rule of thumb is "don't do it"
02-28-2009, 12:51 PM
02-28-2009, 03:26 PM
02-28-2009, 09:31 PM
i can see it now:
you: "hey, bro whats up?! how have things been??"
you: "so uh, hey...i been meaning to ask you..i came across [girl's name] on facebook and uhh, we started talking and stuff and things are going pretty well but i just wanted to run it by your first because you know...didn't want to disrespect..the recession..aliens..err."
your friend: "dude, it's cool."
you: "oh, alright man! cool. cause i already hit it."
honestly, i don't like hassles. and if i'm there's going to be a war between my "head" and heart, i'll scrap the entire situation altogether. there's so many other women in the world, why stress (like this) over one that you know your boy already hit it anyway? it's just cooch like you said, right? you do what you want (cause you're going to anyway) but that's just the way my mind works.
02-28-2009, 09:58 PM
People (me included) usually know the answers to the questions we ask. Sometimes we just need to hear someone else say it before we "believe" it ourselves. With that being said, there are principles and morals to consider, and of course, your conscience. What you are asking is almost like saying "out of sight out of mind". Just because you and the guy have not spoken for a while, does not eliminate the implied friend rule. How high do you vaule your friendship? Bottom line, no matter how wrong or right we say it is, YOU will do what you want anyway. Question is: Can you live with yourself? and, can you look him in the face if you run into him again, and feel comfortable? Do what you want, but I say be respectful, and let sleeping dogs lie. But, I will give you credit for asking the question, shows you at least have some concerns, and some good morals. Otherwise you would have done it with out seeking advice.
02-28-2009, 10:58 PM
some good POVs here, but if you take in only one piece of advice: headcases are never worth the ***** - never!
Look at it this way: I have been down that road to save you the pain
02-28-2009, 11:32 PM
GOLDEN RULE OF JAY - PUT UR SELF IN UR FRIENDS POSITION HOW WOULD U FEEL IF SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENED TO YOU AND UR BFRIEND F'D UR GIRL...
03-01-2009, 08:59 AM
03-01-2009, 10:01 AM
The funny thing is that yesterday I found out my co-worker and friend is dating my ex lol. My feelings on this situation are that i've moved on to another woman and should not have the ability to interrupt a otential good relationship between two people as if i have ownership rights on her. Some of the facts on this particualr situation are that we broke it off together and remain friends. He did ask a couple months back if it was okay because he found her attractive.
I'm glad she's in another relationship...
03-01-2009, 10:09 AM
ask him -- everybody is different.. i have a friend who couldn't give a **** less who touches his leftovers, while i would be ****ing furious with anyone who touched mine.. just the way i am; i'm sure it varies from person to person so it's hard to judge without knowing his personality.
03-01-2009, 12:55 PM
03-01-2009, 03:32 PM
I wouldnt, but it really depends on the situation, if the guy is a decent guy, and their relationship was pretty ****ty when they broke up, i cant say i would, just because id respect him enough that down the line i wouldnt want her to hold it over his head that she banged a bunch of his friends, i wouldnt want to be that guy.
But, if you are going to do it, you should probably degrade her as much as possible, have fun with it, that way if she starts telling people and your buddy is like "wtf?" you can be like "man, she took it in the butt, then i popped in her eye, ive got pics"
Its not something id put any effort into anyway, if shes coming after you, and begging for it, fine, but if youre the one sending her messages and calling her trying to get with her, i wouldnt give the dumb broad the satisfaction.
03-01-2009, 03:45 PM
03-01-2009, 03:59 PM
Regardless of the situation I feel this is a poor approach in treating another individual. If this is someone you don't plan to respect at least in the beginning then just turn your attentions elsewhere.But, if you are going to do it, you should probably degrade her as much as possible, have fun with it, that way if she starts telling people and your buddy is like "wtf?" you can be like "man, she took it in the butt, then i popped in her eye, ive got pics"
03-01-2009, 04:39 PM
03-01-2009, 04:51 PM
Well, a sister is a different issue. Only because if things were to break up or something come about it then you have a real strong possiblity to lose a friend. it would also depend on the friend. I have friends that I would not let within ten feet of my sister if i had one.
03-01-2009, 05:09 PM
03-01-2009, 09:00 PM
and are you saying that if you don't like the fact that your friend is dating your ex, you shouldn't date anyone else until you somehow don't care about it anymore (because it's unfair to any new girls if you still care)? or did I not understand what you meant? and about moving on; I don't want my friends dating my ex because it's a ****ed up thing to do to a friend -- not because I still want to be with my ex.. it's your friend declaring he values a date/****/relationship/whatever with your ex more than your friendship.. fine with me -- but i'm not your friend anymore.
I don't have a sister so I don't think I can really comment on how I'd feel about it without having one.. but again it's completely subjective and based so much on personal values and individual personality.
03-01-2009, 09:07 PM
03-01-2009, 09:57 PM
wow, some really good and diverse points of view here, along with some very funny ones. Interesting how we all vary in character. A lot different to what i was expecting.
I'm thinking now, I should probably contact my friend and just see how he feels about it. Probably ask him indirectly though and explain to him my situation. If he's the same old good friend, I'll respect his decision. If he's changed for the much worse, then I'll have to proceed with using his Ex. After reading everyone's posts on this, I think that should be a good way to go about it.
The fact of the matter is i've been celibate for over a couple months now and this girl is literally an email away.
03-02-2009, 07:40 AM
Hey Red Dog, my apologies if I offended you in any way. I was making the point that if you had an issue with anyone else (not friends) dating your ex, then that is messed up. It would be unfair for the one you are with. After your last response, I understand what you meant in your first post. Once again, my apologies.
OP, I am glad we were\are able to help you.
03-02-2009, 09:35 AM
03-02-2009, 09:44 AM
Man you're pretty confident that you will have sex with this girl huh? If so, I think she might be a little sluty.... my .02 cents
03-02-2009, 09:49 PM
Like someone said, girls are a dime a dozen, MOVE ON!!!! even you questioning her being clean, is just nasty...why??!!! because she is "hot".....LAME!!! find another hot girl who wasen't doing your ex friend......
Just my 2 cents
RIP Ryan, :(
03-02-2009, 10:19 PM
OK look. If you are even considering it then that person is not really your friend. If he was your friend then it wouldn't have crossed your mind in the first place and it just sounds like you're trying to validate a decision that you have already made so you know what you are going to do... Just report back later with tales from the hunt. Or you could say f*&k it and get yourself some fresh meat. After all, if it's as easy as I think it is for guys to pull you shouldn't have a problem bagging something drama free. Unless you like the games- which it sounds like- because you are entertaining this not so smart, and a bit lazy of a decision.
03-03-2009, 02:15 AM
It depends on the circumstances.
If one of my friends has a short fling and thats it, then it usually isn't a problem. It's best not to tread down trails others have walked but oh well.
If it was longer than a week or two, it's off limits. Doesn't matter if he is no longer your friend; unless the dude is across the country and cut ties then don't do it.
Besides, she has emotional issues, right? Are you really willing to put up with that for a warm hole?
03-03-2009, 03:02 AM
depends how close of a friend and whether you can / want to keep it hush hush
depends on the guy as well.. some people will lose their minds if their mate ****s their ex others just dont care....
03-03-2009, 03:19 AM
Stick to masterbating until you can think clearly , or masterbate until the proposition is no longer attractive.. . .