starting to train the girlfriend .. HELP PLEASE (BEGINNER)

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    starting to train the girlfriend .. HELP PLEASE (BEGINNER)


    wassup every1 ?? i am starting to train my girl this week .. she wants to start working out with me only prob is she can't afford a gym membership to workout with me so i decided to make her workout in my basement and ill just stay there and watch and help her with what she is doing more or less just train her .... i don't really know all that much stuff to help her b/ce she is looking for fatloss and not to gain muscle yanno ..

    well the equipment i have down there is an adjustable bench (incline flat decline) with a place for preacher curls and leg extensions if u lie down and leg lifts if u are sitting up, 5,10,15,20 lbs dumbells, a treadmill, and a punching bag ( shes got nails no way she hitting that l0l )

    well let me start with the worst of all which is her eating habits... she DOESN'T EAT AT ALL !!!!! I AM DEAD SERIOUS SHE EATS ONCE A WEEK !!!!! b/ce she is sacred she is gonna gain weight she has been doing this for a yr now ... and now she is gonna start b/ce she is working out ... she is already very very thin .. has a completely flat stomach just no definition .. not really any fat at ALL .. she just has thick legs which i have no prob with at all i actually like them =) but she doesnt !!!! she wants like toothpick legs seriously ... oh well

    i would like someone to please tell me what i should do training wise ( within the equipment i have ) and diet wise .. i am sacred to start making her eat everyday b/ce her metabolism is def REAAALLLLY SLOW from not eating all this time so if u can help me on that .. and also what to do should i have her lifting or just running all the time with doing some sets of situps and legs lifts .. i would like to know some workouts to tone up the legs b/ce thats her main concern here ..

    i would really really really appreciate some help thank you very much

    will award rep points if u can help

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    Diet and Exercise Recommendations


    Quote Originally Posted by THEGEEZ View Post
    wassup every1 ?? i am starting to train my girl this week .. she wants to start working out with me only prob is she can't afford a gym membership to workout with me so i decided to make her workout in my basement and ill just stay there and watch and help her with what she is doing more or less just train her .... i don't really know all that much stuff to help her b/ce she is looking for fatloss and not to gain muscle yanno ..

    well the equipment i have down there is an adjustable bench (incline flat decline) with a place for preacher curls and leg extensions if u lie down and leg lifts if u are sitting up, 5,10,15,20 lbs dumbells, a treadmill, and a punching bag ( shes got nails no way she hitting that l0l )

    well let me start with the worst of all which is her eating habits... she DOESN'T EAT AT ALL !!!!! I AM DEAD SERIOUS SHE EATS ONCE A WEEK !!!!! b/ce she is sacred she is gonna gain weight she has been doing this for a yr now ... and now she is gonna start b/ce she is working out ... she is already very very thin .. has a completely flat stomach just no definition .. not really any fat at ALL .. she just has thick legs which i have no prob with at all i actually like them =) but she doesnt !!!! she wants like toothpick legs seriously ... oh well

    i would like someone to please tell me what i should do training wise ( within the equipment i have ) and diet wise .. i am sacred to start making her eat everyday b/ce her metabolism is def REAAALLLLY SLOW from not eating all this time so if u can help me on that .. and also what to do should i have her lifting or just running all the time with doing some sets of situps and legs lifts .. i would like to know some workouts to tone up the legs b/ce thats her main concern here ..

    i would really really really appreciate some help thank you very much

    will award rep points if u can help
    Reading that, I would suggest that your girlfriend sees someone to sort out any psychological issues that she has FIRST, as it sounds like she is anorexic (apologies if I am wrong in this assumption, but it is said more out of concern than anything). Anything that she does on top of that will just exacerbate the issue, if that is the case...


    If she is looking for fatloss, but has little fat OR muscle to start with, then I wouldn't recommend trying to lose MORE fat (but that's just my opinion)...


    DIET

    Just to help get you started in the right direction, here are some tips for her diet for fat loss. (These are the general guidelines that I give to my clients who are looking to lose BF (and they can be adjusted to suit muscle and strength gain, since the only difference in the two is the AMOUNT of calories that needs to be consumed); otherwise I write them a personalized diet plan (that takes into account personal preferences, allergies, etc.) to meet their needs):

    1. First, she needs to work out what her MAINTENANCE calories are (There are various methods and equations that you can use to calculate this; most take into account current body mass, height, and activity level). Then, to lose fat, she needs to make sure that she's having up to 500 calories LESS than maintenance. Depending on how fast or slow she loses the fat, she can adjust and tweak her calorie intake each week.
    2. Eat every 2-3 hours after waking. This helps keep the metabolism going throughout the day, as well as keeping insulin levels stable (so, you can see that 3 meals is simply NOT enough, even small portions).
    3. EVERY meal should have complex carbohydrates [CHO] (i.e. kumara, rice, oats, etc.), QUALITY LEAN protein (chicken breast, fish, tuna, salmon, lean beef, egg whites, etc.), and FIBROUS CHO (i.e. vegetables, green ones in particular).
    4. Drink 4.5 litres of water per day. This will help keep the system clean.
    5. It has been proven that TWO servings of DAIRY per day helps lose MORE fat than if one avoids it altogether.
    6. Do NOT avoid fat (The only fat she should be avoiding is Saturated fat and Trans fats). You NEED fat in your diet, as fat plays major roles in energy metabolism and other parts of your body (Wardlaw & Hampl, 2007). Make sure to have at least 30 grams of GOOD fats (i.e. flaxseeds or flaxseed oil, fish oils, peanut butter, nuts - especially almonds and walnuts, hempseed oil, olive oil, etc.) per day (i.e. this is ~2 tbsp of flaxseed oil or peanut butter).
    7. Don't drink tea or coffee. Try drinking GREEN tea instead; it helps with thermogenesis, and is especially good if you take it one hour before doing cardio first thing in the morning.
    8. Don't drink alcohol. Alcohol has NO nutritional value and is full of calories.
    9. Minimize adding salt to food. Instead, flavour a meal with herbs and spices (i.e. ginger, cumin, cayenne pepper, curry powder, chilli powder, and garlic all help thermogenesis a bit).
    10. The only sugar needed on a regular basis is the NATURAL sugars found in food; these are mostly found in fruit. Too much sugar plays havoc with insulin levels and these should be as stable as possible throughout the day. The best time to be having sugar is straight AFTER a RESISTANCE workout, when the body is trying to replenish muscle glycogen stores (Burke, 2006).
    11. Do NOT avoid CHO. You NEED at least 50-100 grams of CHO per day for your body to burn fat effectively. A good guideline is to have at least 1 gram of CHO per kg of body mass per day as a MINIMUM (Burke, 2006).
    12. Eat most food as 'natural' as possible. This means fresh fruit and vegetables, meat, grains, etc. Try not to eat too much packaged food, as it is full of extra calories and sugar.
    13. Most importantly, remember that it IS OK TO CHEAT every now and then. Actually the body NEEDS cheat meals and days (1-2 a week will get results; I have 3-4 x 8000 calorie days, and I am only 110 pounds right now!). By throwing all the guidelines I have just mentioned above out of the way and having a day where she eats what she wants, it helps ; and it will also help prevent her body from going into starvation mode (if it does this (someone mentioned in a previous post that hers may already be like this), the body will battle her to hold onto the fat as much as it can; and that's the last thing wanted). If she prefers NOT to 'cheat', then adding in 1-2 higher CALORIE days (i.e. go up to Maintenance, or even Bulking, or even slightly higher), with the extra calories coming from quality COMPLEX CHO, she should be ok.

    Supplements should NOT be a big deal, as most fat loss can be done through simply eating the right food at the right time. And unless everything that she's doing is already done to ensure the maximum results in the timeframe that she want to achieve it in, and then supplementation should not be the focus. However, there ARE a few supplements that I think are important to any regime:
    1. A multivitamin. (Although she should be eating as much of a variety of food as possible, in order to meet the RDI/AI of most nutrients from actual food).
    2. Creatine monohydrate. Creatine helps the body to recover faster, as well as aiding in increasing strength levels and lean body mass [LBM].
    3. Flaxseed/Hempseed/Fish Oil. This is the GOOD fats. Flaxseed or Hempseed oil is great with breakfast or in protein shakes.
    4. Protein Powder. This just helps for the in-between meals, or after the gym, and to make sure that she gets enough protein in (She should be having 1-1.5 grams of protein per kg of body mass per day; this is so that muscle loss is prevented, and can even assist in small gains in LBM).
    Apart from these 4 'base' supplements, she doesn?t need a lot, especially since sh'es just starting out. And forget about using fat-burners or thermogenics; they are a waste of time unless she's ALREADY lean (say 12-15% BF) and wants that 'extra edge' to lose the last few% bodyfat (i.e. like a fitness competitor, etc.)


    EXERCISE

    Fat loss can be achieved by dieting alone, but not as effectively as it would be when using a calorie controlled diet AND exercise plan. If you just dieted, you would end up as a smaller version of yourself right now. Exercise helps you to build muscle (which helps you to burn more calories and lose more fat in the process), as well as helping you feel good about yourself, and providing a way to distress.

    The best exercise programme for losing fat is one that includes weights, cardio (mostly in the form of high intensity stuff), and some flexibility (just to help your joints).

    To 'tone' the legs, she needs to HAVE MUSCLE there. If you only have dumbbells to work with, get her doing dumbbell squats (narrow stance - focus more on quadriceps; wide stance - focus more on glutes, hamstrings, and adductors; and sumo stance - focus more on adductors), alternate lunges (forward and backward; narrow strides - focus more on quadriceps, and long strides - focus more on hamstrings and glutes), and calf raises (single leg or double leg). Also add in some bridging (hamstrings), leg extensions (for quadriceps), hip extensions (glutes), hip abductions (abductors), and hip adductors (adductors). Since she's a beginner, 2-3 days of resistance work will be enough (i.e. one day using weighted exercises, and a second using non-weighted exercises); and make sure that she has a day's rest between each session for recovery! Start with a general 'conditioning' programme of 3-4 exercises of 3-4 sets of 10-12 reps per exercise (i.e. a total of 12-16 sets per session), with 60-90 seconds rest between each set.

    I would recommend staying AWAY from doing cardio, unless it was very short and explosive, like sprinting (i.e. 4-8 minutes (starting with 4 minutes, and gradually increasing each week by a minute) of 20 seconds sprinting/10 seconds rest/easy jogging), since that would help 'tone' (man, I hate that word! 'Toning' is either a) losing fat, b) gaining muscle, or c) gaining muscle whilst simultaneously losing fat) the legs. Do this 3 x a week, with at least a day in between each session (and preferably on days when NOT doing resistance trainng).

    Make sure that she has 1-2 days off ALL TRAINING per week, to let her body recover! This is ESSENTIAL.


    Hope all this helps you out some.
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    All of the above is good advice. However IF you can get her to start eating you might have to start slowly with her to make sure she does not feel sick. Then once you get her up to 6 meals a day she should hopefully feel better. It sounds like she does have some kind of eating disorder.
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    Eating Disorders


    Quote Originally Posted by crader View Post
    All of the above is good advice. However IF you can get her to start eating you might have to start slowly with her to make sure she does not feel sick. Then once you get her up to 6 meals a day she should hopefully feel better. It sounds like she does have some kind of eating disorder.
    That's why I suggested seeing a professional about it first, before you try and do anything, simply because you really DON'T want to do something to just make matters worse (even if she feels that it's not doing her any harm). Many people with eating disorders will NOT listen to you, because they cannot see it themselves. And it will be a hard and long battle (trust me; been there, done that, but at the OPPOSITE end of the spectrum). And while I said that she was possibly anorexic, it SOUNDS like that (simply from the lack of eating), but could be a myriad of things. (And even though she is far from fat or overweight, these people CAN be anorexic too; you DON'T have to look like a skeleton to be so). An eating disorder starts in the mind, and then has physiological ramifications if not sorted. And they can affect ANYONE: young, old, skinny, fat, etc., with those having perfectionist tendencies and similar personality traits, and being under a lot of stress to achieve in certain areas, being the most 'at risk'. Anyways, all goes well for you (and her).
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    thank u guys so much i really really really do appreciate your help so much .. i knt even thank you enough !

    she def does have a problem but she wont go see help shes way way way to stubborn ...

    well her mom is very very sick .. she has been this way for 2 yrs and there is really no hope for recovery for her.. she's now i hate to say it .. a vegetable .. i feel so bad for her ... i love the women its so hard to see her that since i know her my whole life ..

    i am all the kids got and i am sick of this not eating stuff ! so sick of it that i told her i was gonna have to break up with her if she didnt start to eat .. well i am def gonna have to start her up slow .. but at least it is something ... and i am gonna take all of ur advise and use it ! and i am def def gonna keep u guys updated with this ..

    i know i said thanks allready but this means alot to me and to her .. this isnt just another girl that wants to be fit this has alot more behind the situation and I'm just happy i can get expert help like this ...
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    Quote Originally Posted by THEGEEZ View Post
    thank u guys so much i really really really do appreciate your help so much .. i knt even thank you enough !

    she def does have a problem but she wont go see help shes way way way to stubborn ...

    well her mom is very very sick .. she has been this way for 2 yrs and there is really no hope for recovery for her.. she's now i hate to say it .. a vegetable .. i feel so bad for her ... i love the women its so hard to see her that since i know her my whole life ..

    i am all the kids got and i am sick of this not eating stuff ! so sick of it that i told her i was gonna have to break up with her if she didnt start to eat .. well i am def gonna have to start her up slow .. but at least it is something ... and i am gonna take all of ur advise and use it ! and i am def def gonna keep u guys updated with this ..

    i know i said thanks allready but this means alot to me and to her .. this isnt just another girl that wants to be fit this has alot more behind the situation and I'm just happy i can get expert help like this ...
    You're welcome.

    Sounds like you almost feel 'obliged', there, bud; be careful.

    As for 'expert' advice, we are here to help out. But definitely professional help would be better in this situation.

    I know about stubborn. I know about denial. And I also know about eating disorders. Hell, I am STILL battling with one myself! (But, like I said, it is binge-eating disorder, which, although not a lot better, at least helps me gain muscle fast, and I AM eating). It actually takes a lot of courage to admit that you HAVE a problem, and to ASK for help. I did (but only because I HAD to). And sometimes 'help' doesn't really help at all. If you're tough enough you can battle it out by yourself (like I am now), but everyone NEEDS SOMEthing or someone to keep an eye on them, at least.

    Yeah, start slow. Maybe a meal a day, and the rest as LIQUIDS (i.e. meal replacement powders/shakes, etc.). And go from there...
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    I agree with getting professional help. Although it can be tough because apparently she is not ready to admit a problem. Just do your best to get something inher body for fuel. Liquids such as protein drinks are a good idea. It may work because she is not actually eating it. People tend to forget about calories being consumed through liquids. Good luck!
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    Oh, yeah, Dr. definitely needs to be involved - perhaps even and endocrinologist, dependnt on diagnosis. Not eating is detrimental to everyone, but in my experience (I worked in an endorinology lab all through college and for another 2yrs after) it seems to hurt younger ladies the most.

    Listen to what the women have told you - build up her appetite slowly, make her eat, bring her metabolism back into existence and go from there. Based on your limited amount of equipment, I would suggest incorporating bodyweight movements as well as weights into her routine, and have her do total body workouts. If not total body, then I'd split by upper body/ lower body. Start her off easy, 3days/wk would be great.

    Her system is probably very nutrient deprived, and she'll need lots of healthy food to combat that - TONS of VEGGIES and get her eating a fair amount of healthy fats - avocado, coconut, olive oil, nuts - they can help her hormones recover if she hasn't messed herself up too much.

    Hope this helps and feel free to ask more questions if you need.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resolve View Post
    Oh, yeah, Dr. definitely needs to be involved - perhaps even and endocrinologist, dependnt on diagnosis. Not eating is detrimental to everyone, but in my experience (I worked in an endorinology lab all through college and for another 2yrs after) it seems to hurt younger ladies the most.

    Listen to what the women have told you - build up her appetite slowly, make her eat, bring her metabolism back into existence and go from there. Based on your limited amount of equipment, I would suggest incorporating bodyweight movements as well as weights into her routine, and have her do total body workouts. If not total body, then I'd split by upper body/ lower body. Start her off easy, 3days/wk would be great.

    Her system is probably very nutrient deprived, and she'll need lots of healthy food to combat that - TONS of VEGGIES and get her eating a fair amount of healthy fats - avocado, coconut, olive oil, nuts - they can help her hormones recover if she hasn't messed herself up too much.

    Hope this helps and feel free to ask more questions if you need.

    Thanks for the help .. yeh im tryin my best its hard tho
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    How is it going? Is she eating yet? Honestly I've been thinking if she is still not eating then there is nothing to feed her muscle. So I would hold off on the training until she is. I would be afraid of taxing her system.

    Have you been able to get shakes in her?
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    hey crader .. she is eating slowly and i mean real slowly ! 3 4 times a week at max ... and now we both have school so its even harder ... thanks for checkin in tho appreciate that ...
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    hey man sorry im coming in late. but i hope the best for your girl gotta get her to eat so im proud of her just from going from 1 meal to 3-4 im proud of her. and i would also recommend on holding off on the whole working out part if she isnt even atleast eating 3 meals a day in my opinon cuz i knew a girl who at maybe once a day and she worked out and ended up with some kind of problem in her stomach from not eating and then training now she is extremely weak all the time and pretty much survives off shakes cuz shes so tired all the time to eat think of it like having mono i guess man. so tell her i said to EAT!!! EAT EVERYTHING YOU CAN! i hope shes started to feel better and realize that eating isnt such a bad thing you know, you already got the best advice in here so mines pretty lame lol so good luck hope the best for you and your girl and hope she realizes that she needs eat alot more
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    I have the same problem, Only my girlfriend is seeing a psychiatrist who isn't worth a ****. He told her she could drink on benzodiazipams! She used to be bulimic, now she is more like exercise bulimic/anorexic. She goes to a very prestigious school and says "she doesn't have time to eat." I don't know what else to do, She switched to being a vegitarian but she doesnt eat fish or nuts like she is supposed to.

    anyway, any tips on getting her to eat right? The only thing I can think of is to get her to see a nutritionist or something.
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    Quote Originally Posted by nofx4110 View Post
    I have the same problem, Only my girlfriend is seeing a psychiatrist who isn't worth a ****. He told her she could drink on benzodiazipams! She used to be bulimic, now she is more like exercise bulimic/anorexic. She goes to a very prestigious school and says "she doesn't have time to eat." I don't know what else to do, She switched to being a vegitarian but she doesnt eat fish or nuts like she is supposed to.

    anyway, any tips on getting her to eat right? The only thing I can think of is to get her to see a nutritionist or something.
    If she is anoreic and bulimic, then the best for her is not to exercise excessivley.

    As for eating right (everyone has time to eat!), she needs to get her head right first (psychotherapy, NOT medication; and if you think that her psychiatrist is not worth it, find one who IS)!!! Perhaps seeing a dietician who can explain the benefits of eatig correctly, and set her up with a diet plan (I only say that, because some people will only listen to 'professionals').
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guejsn View Post
    If she is anoreic and bulimic, then the best for her is not to exercise excessivley.

    As for eating right (everyone has time to eat!), she needs to get her head right first (psychotherapy, NOT medication; and if you think that her psychiatrist is not worth it, find one who IS)!!! Perhaps seeing a dietician who can explain the benefits of eatig correctly, and set her up with a diet plan (I only say that, because some people will only listen to 'professionals').
    I talked to her about it and her parents started bugging her about it and she is going to see a consuler at her college now. I know she has seen her before but I have no idea if she knows about her eating disorders. I wish I could just tell her parents to send her to a dietician but she would be so mad if she found out...

    You are absolutly right about her only listening to professionals, she doesn't listen to a damn word I say. I already told her that her psychiatrist is a dip****.
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    Quote Originally Posted by nofx4110 View Post
    I talked to her about it and her parents started bugging her about it and she is going to see a consuler at her college now. I know she has seen her before but I have no idea if she knows about her eating disorders. I wish I could just tell her parents to send her to a dietician but she would be so mad if she found out...

    You are absolutly right about her only listening to professionals, she doesn't listen to a damn word I say. I already told her that her psychiatrist is a dip****.
    At least she can acknowledge that she HAS an eating disorder, and that she needs help (this is the key thing if she is to get better; most people with eating disorders will deny it, even if they know you know). She must be willing to ACCEPT that help, though, if she is to begin the 'recovery' process. It starts with trying to deal with the root of the problem (the eating disorder is just a SYMPTOM of something else). And then changing mindsets, and working on building up a positive self-esteem and healthy self-perception.

    Right now, though, all it sounds like you can do is just let her know that you're there, and that you're supporting her.
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    It sounds like there may be deeper rooted problems than self-esteem that may be leading to her eating issues (i.e.-her mother's condition). It would be so beneficial for her to seek help, but this will be on her own time...with people in her life that can be stern with her and not enabling her habits. Try not to glorify her condition and don't spotlight the fact that she doesn't eat. Sometimes women see not eating as a form of strong will-power and this is the thing she controls most in life. Attention for this behavior (positive or negative) may be what her mind is seeking.

    And I agree with everyone on the fact that she needs to address the diet before tackling a strict workout regimen. However, sometimes exercise can make you feel more healthy and complete and may lead to other healthy habits.

    On a side note, for all of those girls that are beginning with weights and training in general...please stop thinking that you can "spot-tone" any single part of your body. You are built with the body God gave you and it will adjust proportionately. However, you can tone your entire body with the proper training...Cardio, Weights, Stretching, and Clean Eating.
  18. New Member
    killfat's Avatar
    Stats
    5'6"  150 lbs.
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    Mar 2009
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    41
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    89
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    115
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    8
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    You couldn't buy her one w/some personal training and a dr visit? This is more discerning to me. I worked $*%&$loads of overtime to get my gf a membership w/me to train her. Anyway, just a thought.
  

  
 

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